


Vicky n Lu Take Thedas

by GrumpkinVicky



Series: Vicky n Lu [1]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: BDSM, Canon What Canon, Crack, MCiT, Major Spoilers, Multi, Ritual Public Sex, Ritual Sex, Self-Insert, Sex Positive, britishisms, helicopter parenting, where did the plot come from
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2020-08-19 03:06:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 26
Words: 119,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20202706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrumpkinVicky/pseuds/GrumpkinVicky
Summary: A happily married couples sex fantasy goes awry, what was supposed to be a smutty good time turns into actual plot, that weaves back through the history of the Dragon Age, with all the cameos, all the plot fixings and plenty of irreverence.Tags will update with each chapter.All chapters for part 1 have now been completed. *dances with joy*





	1. Rude Awakenings

**Author's Note:**

> In which the sex dream Vicky promises Lu turns into something not as sexy.

There were two figures, as vastly opposite as you could get, lying asleep in the cell, a fairly short even for a dwarf, female, and a very large Qunari male. It had been a struggle to get them into the cell, after they had stumbled out of the breach in the sky into a pile of soldiers who had been investigating after the explosion. They had clung to each other as they fell out, a strange sight of the different proportions, both sporting strange painted markings that swirled around their hands and up to their elbows.

Neither was wearing particularly much, the male, for instance, was sporting only a ragged pair of trousers that barely covered his dignity, and the female had been in a slightly less revealing silken shift, sporting no underclothes, much to the embarrassment of the soldier who had hoisted her up, having managed to catch the garb almost flashing her goods to the world. They had been unresponsive, both snoring merrily through being dragged, hoisted and manoeuvred down the snowy mountainside at the behest of the Captain, into the stern presence of the Seeker Pentaghast, who had barely spoken, choosing to point with her sword down to the dank cells below.

They’d spent three days sleeping, barely moving other than to sleepily move to and against each other, it had proven difficult to pry their grip away when at first they’d tried to. A mage was sent to investigate, an Apostate named Solas, who had spent hours staring at them, and then the ceiling, at times not moving for long enough that he startled the assigned guards when he would make a noise. 

It was the small female who woke first, waking the larger male that she had managed to be sprawled over, by kicking him in the ribs, suspiciously deliberately from the smirk on her lips as she glanced around her surroundings. It was testament to the guards resolve that they didn’t immediately lurch forward as he responded by bolting awake with a loud shout of put upon pain.

“Whilst I love our joint dreams dear, I’m pretty sure in this fantasy we aren’t both the ones in the cell. If anything it’s normally you who is wrapped up in chain at my mercy, and any onlookers that happen to be about are normally more… nubile, and a lot less clothes.” she drawled into his ear, straddling his waist, wincing slightly at the stretch between her thighs as she took in the difference in size. “Compensating I see dear,” then bursting into giggles at his slightly affronted look.

“Hey, I mean, I can’t remember picking this, but it feels familiar enough, it could be worse, I could be Krogan,” they looked at each other and snickered, both uttering “quad balls” at the same time before setting off into peals of laughter as he wiggled suggestively.

“You’d keep sitting on them, like Ted’s cat did, it’d take all the fun out of it,” she leaned back giving him a speculative look, “Although… Do you think female Krogans have special attributes to compensate with?” 

“Or we could focus on being here, and the fact that they seem to have swords,” she stuck her tongue out at him, before sighing sadly. “I jest though, we should totally find out if we ever find ourselves there, I mean Eve is pretty lovely,” They exchanged more eyebrow wiggling before she pressed firmly into him.

“Anyway, I’m the one on the floor, I could have done with something a bit warmer at my back..” he pursed his lips at her, invitingly, half closing his eyes like a delicate maiden as she leaned closer, hovering her lips just above his, waiting for him to squint at her before proffering up a light, lingering kiss, which started to turn into something far more primal as her fingers danced their way around his horns, guiding him as he let out soft growls beneath her. 

They paused temporarily as two women stroke into the room, one tall and imposing with short brown hair wrapped around her skull in what looked like a headache inducingly tight plait, the other smaller, slighter almost completely covered in a hooded robe with only the slight hint of red hair peeking out. The guards stood to attention abruptly, saluting respectfully, “Seeker Pentaghast, Sister Leliana” 

A whisper into the still growling male's ear, had him stilling completely, tilting his head back to stare at them with a considering gaze, as she lightly scraped her nails down his exposed chest, making him buck as they both continued to look towards the newcomers. “Well dear, I change my mind, it looks like I might have been wrong, if anyone is going to have access to restraints here, it’ll be these two, just picture it love, being at the mercy of three of us at the same time, being watched by these lovely if slightly imposing people,” her voice dripped with filthy intent as she continued to scrape her nails across his broad, naked chest. The reaction from the smaller of the two new women was a simple and slow blink, whilst the taller span around and dragged her companion back out of the room. There was an awkward presence from the guards as they tried to make as much noise as they could whilst staying as still as they possibly could, to mask the noise of shouting, slamming and the sound of metal hitting stone.

“Seems like they need to sort out their roles, pretty interactive dream though love,” He shot her a dubious look as she started to rub her face against his stubble, the banging continued, whilst everyone in the cell area pretended they couldn’t hear it. 

“Perhaps you could summon us up some pillows, at this point that would be far better than the ever attractive prospect of angry women with weapons, surrounded by anxious-looking people with weapons. Pillows at least are comfortable?” the dubious expression lingered even as she pulled out some of her better moves, her fingers plucking at the chest hair above his nipples rhythmically, his eyes beginning to dilate.

“My poor love, I’m perfectly comfortable, can’t you feel how comfortable I am?” her hips pushed down against him, grinding her crotch hard against his groin, not sparing a glance for the other occupants of the room. “Our watchers may not be naked, or particularly nubile - oooh that caused a reaction,” she leered playfully at the youngest of them who had finally reacted with an offended rear back, “I would say that perhaps their blind deaf and dumb act isn’t completely accurate. I wonder if they are wanting to be me, or you? What do you think pretty mine?” she let her fingers tangle thoroughly before pulling hard, forcing him to let out a low pained groan, bucking up into her.

“Please?” such a breathy word, that seemed to reverberate down his body.

“Please what, use your words my good boy?” her nails caught his tiny hard nipples, like small clamps, her eyes greedy as they ate up his reactions.

“I need - “ he didn’t manage to get the rest of his sentence out as the two women returned, the smaller with a faint dusting of colour on her cheeks, the taller radiating anger, her weapon already drawn.

“I demand you stop this at once, you are” she couldn’t finish the sentence as the dwarf bit at the male's neck, offering the woman an amused arched brow.

“You are prisoners, you killed the Divine, you-” she found herself interrupted as the dwarf reared back from her partner, with a sudden look of comprehension, her fingers no longer acting as toys as she smacked at his chest in enthusiasm.

“Oh, I know this one! They ask us questions, we don’t know, something something something, and then we have a huge orgy, it’s a good one, you’ll enjoy it. Hell we’ll enjoy it, I love these types, I mean I was hoping for something a little less mediaeval, electro is a lot of fun especially if you don’t have to set it up first,” he grinned at her as she started to get diverted, an old complaint that had the merits of leaving it set up permanently against the cons of leaving it set up permanently which could go on for hours if uninterrupted.

In the meantime, the angrier female lunged at the cell, only to be held back by the guards and the smaller female.

“We need them Cassandra,” the disgusted scream from the aforementioned Cassandra, leaving the couple to snicker quietly, as she lost all control of her temper, “You say you know this one? What more do you know of it that you act so depraved in the face of all that has happened?”

The dwarf pressed a light kiss on her partner's cheek, before manoeuvring around so that she could face the newcomers face on, positioning herself on him like he was a particularly comfortable chair. 

“Well I say I know this one, I know the outcome of this one more, I can guess at how we get there though, you ask us questions, we don’t know anything because you won’t be asking us questions that we will know the answers too, and the ones we do you won't be able to use because they won’t be relevant to you” he tapped her lightly on the ribs as she started to spiral again, “Uh, yes so you ask us questions, we don’t know, because we don’t, then a little bit of torture, then the whips and restraints properly come out to play. I then take over and show you how to make him properly squirm.” He drew her attention back with a deliberate shift underneath her, her body twisting to admire him fully, whilst her voice lowered, no longer speaking to anyone but her chair.

“Candles get used, restraints too, he likes his nipples playing with but not his balls,” he hissed as she pressed a teasing kiss on his jawline, “I can chew on these perfect nips for hours and he loves it, more than any soft caress on his heavy bollocks, he’s so good and eager under my mouth, he’ll take it and take it until he’s all but crying with need, begging so nicely to be allowed to cum, my lovely precious man, so sensitive and needy, responsive in all the best ways” a light tracing of her tongue across his lower lip, had him gasping, his body trembling as he remained as still as possible. “He can take so much, more so I would guess when he’s in this form, it looks like it can take a lot of punishment,” the moment wavered as he let out a slight snort of amusement, before heading into heavy breathing as she continued, “He takes a lot when he’s not too, he’s a wonder all the time, just I suspect this one will allow for a heavier arm under the whip. 

“It’s not a bad one this time love, normally you see I’m the tall one, but we like the height difference in these types of dream you know, something wicked about such a small body completely dominating one like his,” her fingers were wrapped around his horns, pulling his head back compliantly baring his neck up for her teeth once more. They had all but forgotten the others, Cassandra had been gagged by the Sister, to allow the dwarf to fill the room with her words. “Sometimes we have them where he is a mighty mage hunter sent to track down a naughty dwarven apostate, only to be captured instead, or a Brute who has been tasked with acting as a bodyguard for a Seeker - although you are a lot bigger than the Seekers we know. The mage one is great, things we can do with hot and cold, and electricity, mmm, my precious good boy, think we should try that later?” she leaned over him, her breath on his lips as she hovered just out of reach, whilst he strained beneath her, lips parting open with need, whining to be kissed.

“How long do these… fantasies last?” this time it was the dwarf who let out a disgusted noise, the moment breaking as they were interrupted by the intruders.

“Like I said,” he shook his head at her, silent communication passing between them as she tried to remember how she had started off the explanation, before she flushed just slightly, “Apologies, fantasies such as these would normally end with an orgasm, one that we have to time it properly, no point getting him all worked up and lovely and then him not being able to enjoy the end, and to not get him worked up properly for something like this would be just as wasteful.” she let out a soft chuckle as he shrugged slightly, bucking up into her playfully. 

“What if, just this once, the fantasy was different and you could do more than just one part, what if we released you and sent you off to play Mage hunter and Apostate, but to fight together with Cassandra until you meet up with some others?” there was almost an incident as the cells occupants both twisted round to stare at her.

“Uh, I mean, what do you think my love? It’s your pleasure we’re prolonging, fancy delaying for a bit longer and playing warrior/mage?” she sounded slightly dubious at the offer.

“Just my pleasure hmm, so it’s not your musk I can smell against my skin, your juices soaking through my shorts?” as a delaying tactic it wasn’t exactly subtle, but it did allow them to shift their attention away from the purple Cassandra and the considering Sister. 

She nipped at his nose, her tongue then lapping it better, before pressing soft kisses along his cheekbone until she reached his ear where it stayed for a few moments, her mouth moving as if kissing, his breathing growing far louder masking her sounds effectively. And then they separated again, a quick wet lick to his nose that had him trying to rub his against hers which sent her leaning back against his knees out of reach.

“No getting my nose wet heathen, it’s on the banned list, meany Lu.”

“Too easy, but, well what the heck, they don’t seem to want to join us, and maybe when we get back the dream will have righted itself?” there was a slight forlorn hope to his words, and her smile was more wistful than lusty as it had been before.

“If not, we can do this duo style, they have some wicked looking candles, and you look always look delicious dripping in white wax, and with this colouring it’ll be a stark contrast, you will look as pretty as a picture.” they kissed softly, light tender brushes of lips before she hopped off him, brushing her shift down, then offering him her hand, pulling him up to his feet, the weight difference not seeming to affect either of them.

“So ladies, we going dressed like this?” she indicated to the ragged former silk shift she had been wearing, and his utterly revealing shorts that managed to hang into a more obscene fashion when he was upright than they had been while he was sprawled on the floor. “I mean, it’s convenient, I’ll have to stop every five minutes though to molest my man, isn’t that right husband of mine?” she bodged him with her hip, her hand splaying possessively across his navel, as he shucked his breath, causing them both to stare intently at each other.

“Yes my dear wife, and if that rip gets any bigger I’ll just have to carry you with my mouth wrapped around those delicious breasts of yours,” her nipples stiffened underneath the silken material, her back arching, offering them up towards him, as he started to bend down to follow out his offer, before they were rudely interrupted yet again by the cell down being slammed open. “Ah, my lovely Vicky, it seems that we are destined to be cockblocked at every turn,” 

They were escorted up into the room that looked like it had been the recipient of Cassandra’s mercy previously, by the red-faced guard who had objected to her earlier statement at their physique. The couple grinning at the metal strewn chaos as what looked to have previously been wall decorations were looking suspiciously like they had been torn from the wall in a fit of pique. There was a soft squeak, as Lu hefted his wife p against the wall, her legs wrapping tightly around his chest, whilst they devoured each other not stopping until the door was shut, being left alone for a few scant moments, mouths attacking each others ears, and lips producing noises that were both loud and obscene interspersed with muffled moans.

They parted with aggrieved growls as Cassandra stormed into the room, thrusting clothes at them both, her sword sheathed, though her hovering hand an indicator of how quickly that could change. She was handed the silky shift, with express instructions not to burn it, as the couple would either fix it or use it for games, which had Cassandra all but apoplectic, unhelped by the refusal of underclothes by either of them. 

The robe Vicky was provided with, dwarfed her by a good foot until she borrowed her husband's horn and ripped at it until it was mid-thigh, wrapping a thick leather belt snuggly around her hips, having snapped it a couple of times leering at him, whilst he groaned in response. She could only imagine that they had struggled to find something that would fit around his thighs, as he was provided with a leather kilt to wear, and a leather harness that she spent far longer than needed adjusting, her fingers skimming over the bound nipples, his eyes glazing and the kilt standing to attention. Whilst they’d asked, the request for a collar and leash was declined, with the less than subtle drawing of Cassandra’s blade.

Leliana appeared briefly, a less than subtle look at her compatriot, before departing with a promise to meet with them later, and extracting a promise from Cassandra that she would not kill the pair. It had been far harder to gain, with the dwarf whispering in her husband’s ear as he grinned in response.

“What weapons do you desire for the fighting?” Cassandra had given up looking at them as she asked, making a move for the door.

“A whip, something that can coil nicely, maybe a couple of crystals, oh - a staff, probably a staff and some rope, definitely need some rope,” her voice was filthy as she tugged the male into place behind her, “He can fence, very spry, springs all over the shop,” she made a popping noise with her mouth, the noise ricocheting around the room making Cassandra spin round and glare.

“Should be alright with a two-hander too, I have fought with great hammers and at this size it won’t be much effort,” he calmly stepped in between them, shielding his wife from the now wild-eyed Seeker, for his sins his wife bashed against him with her shoulder, the tension dispelling as quickly as it had risen. Cassandra deciding to proceed before they devolved into obscene behaviour again by throwing open the heavy wooden door, white blinding light filling the room.

“What the hell, Cassandra! Give a girl some warning” the small female shot back behind the male, flinching at the change of light level, whilst her husband ducked behind his hand, grumbling slightly at his new role as sunshade.

They took a few moments to adjust before, “Is it me, or are there rocks in the sky?” he shrugged at her, still squinting from behind his fingers.

“Eh, dreams, what can you do?” this elicited another snort of disbelief as she coloured, “look can we just continue to pretend for a little bit longer?” they exchanged the look of a happily married couple that knew exactly when one tried to disassemble badly and the other would let them because, well love. 

Soon though, Cassandra’s growing exasperation at their delaying tactics, finally encouraged them to step out into the village that lay beyond, people lining the street glaring at them, Cassandra trying to explain something as the Couple started to bicker good-naturedly, not paying much attention to their surroundings as they packed on the gear, complaints about no rope being swamped by the squeal of excitement as a whip was discovered and then tested out against a defenceless tree, that had the closest villagers skittering back out of range.

“I’ll say this for you, Cassandra, the gear is pretty good, we can’t complain too much, so we’ll head out with you, and then see how far we go before I need to pin my lovely husband to a rock and fuck him senseless.” with those words of praise and warning, the couple sauntered off towards the gate, the villagers dispersing uneasily at their demeanour and the way they only stopped after the Seeker had bellowed at them twice to stop, utterly irate by the seeming lack of respect they showed.

“Do you even know where we are going? You are heading in the wrong direction, we are going up not down,” this was met with heavy sighs as they turned around and headed in the direction she was pointing in, stumbling as a crack of the sky rippled through the air.

“They said that your marks are killing you,” there was a brief moment of confusion until she lifted their decorated arms, “We think they can be used to stop the breach from spreading,” Cassandra carried on up the path, speaking as she started to cross the bridge, turning only when she noticed that they were no longer behind her. Instead of being by her side, as she had expected they would remain, the dwarf was stood on the wall, with the male entwined in her arms, his head pressing kisses against her neck, whilst she moaned. “Must you do that now?” the irate Cassandra stepped back towards them as a rock hit the bridge, causing it to collapse behind her, a step slower and she would have been sent tumbling down as the unfortunate scouts behind her had.

There was an awkward silence, as they both looked at her with definitely not guilty expressions, “I speak for myself here, but, whilst I would apologise, I’m not sorry. You should try it, nothing like being nibbled on to get the body working,” She hadn’t released him from her arms, gayfully pressing into his teeth, allowing him to mark her before finally releasing and shuffling down to the ground.

“Cass, tell us it’s not much further, I don’t think I can wait to be filled for much longer,” she grinned at the outrage and the fast spin of the taller female, who decided that silence was the only response she could safely give.

She didn’t speak to them again until after they’d made their way gingerly across the collapsed bridge, Lu hoisting his wife up onto the other side, before dragged up aided by his lady love, Cassandra was then helped up by the pair of them, staring at the dwarf with concern.

“What, just because I’m not hellishly tall like you beansprout, doesn’t mean to say I choose to have a small strength pool, it’s my dream after all, how do you think I get to suspend him from the ceiling joists later if I choose to be all meek and wimpy?” she made a twirling finger sign at Lu, who grinned down at her.

They continued to follow the path, until the sounds of battle ahead had Cassandra drawing her sword and running into the fray, the dwarf and Qunari following behind at a much slower rate, stopping to molest each other at the edge of the wall, with the smaller of the pair pinning the larger down as she chewed on his nipple, her hand plucking tautly at the other forcing mewls of pleasure. They continued to ignore the demons and fighters, even after the sound of battle ceased, and the over very awkward coughs as a skinny male elf started to talk to them, only to be ignored as the male slid down to the floor, his back firmly against stone as she straddled him properly.

When the elf reached to grasp the female's hand, he almost found it cut off, the Qunari suddenly towering over him, talons digging into the pale white skin, and as he tried to wriggle out of the grip, he found a sharp crystal jabbed pointedly into his groin.

“Ask permission before touching, got it?” Silence before an audible gulp, his hands opening in the universal sign of surrender, the talons in response relaxing and allowing him to move out of their grasps, the crystal disappearing as quickly as it had appeared. “Now if you ask nicely maybe we can play, but only if you ask nicely, do you understand?”

There was a brief silence before the elf babbled an explanation regarding his theories as to their arm decorations and the green rocks in the sky, the earlier easy threat of castration and amputation of a limb leaving him more than a little unnerved. As they spoke more demons crawled through the small tear, being met each time with the casual thwack of the hammer as Lu used it like a mallet, whilst the dwarf did little more than eye the elf with suspicion.

The pair exchanged shrugs as he petered out, the request for them to use their arms to close the green, had the male lifting his from the elbow in a mini-wave, the female merely wiggling her fingers, looking bored as the tear closed before them, to the cheers of the others.

The celebrations and discussions as to the proving of the elf’s theories, allowed the pair to slink off up the hill to where they met more demons, which was easily dispatched, before getting down to the business of grousing about how much of a cock tease this dream had turned into, before settling down to some muchly appreciated relief.

The male dwarf was the one who found them, the elf had refused to set off up the path to follow, and Cassandra had a fair idea of what they were doing from evidence of every time they had stopped for more than a moment previously.

Lu had a breast in his mouth, his fingers hidden by her legs, her fingers locked in his hair, moving his head back and forth gently, manipulating him with soft words of praise. She pulled him way far enough that the heavy orb stretched to its full limit, praising him as her nipple was caught between the sharp teeth, her body pressing down firmly, then guiding him back into her chest, all the while her voice soft and reassuring. He was visibly trembling at her instructions, his arousal thick, turgid, leaving a pool of his eagerness beneath them. They hadn’t looked up once as the dwarf neared them, but she pressed her leg against the whimpering male, letting him buck against her, moaning thank yous into her skin, her nails scraping his scalp in return.

He disappeared off back down the path, unable to will himself close enough to interrupt, and the scout didn’t return when they’d nominated a less essential part of the group to bid them return. The elf slinking further away, remaining tight-lipped when questioned as to why, refusing to make eye contact until the three finally returned.

The scout looked the very definition of ravished, slightly bow-legged, bowing deeply to the couple before setting back off down the mountain with cheery whistling, after being dismissed by the female of the pair. Cassandra glared at them, as Lu stretched with contented grace, bite marks covering his chest and neck, proudly presenting them for all to see, whilst his wife radiated wild raw sex.

“Shall we?” it was clear that she was addressing her partner, indicating the way forward, whilst they began to eye fuck again, seemingly dismissing the other three in the small clearing.

“No, we are not doing this again, we need to get you to the breach, we don’t have time for you to mark every rock in Thedas with your sordid shenanigans” growled the Seeker, which was met with a good-natured shrug from the Qunari and a small growl from the female, her hand splaying possessively again on his navel, as the Seeker rolled her eyes in frustration.

“Right, fine, but next time we stop, I’m going to ride his face, got it?” her eyes had narrowed and her shoulders squared as she took a step towards the much taller armoured female who found herself taking a half step back. Her husband slapping at her rump playfully, dispelling the threat as she settled back into his palm, her legs spreading just slightly, “Also we are stopped so….” There was a moment when the three men collectively sucked in their breathes as Cassandra moved forward, and then passing by to clamber over the fence setting off down a path leading alongside a frozen stream. 

“I’m telling you, at the end of this either she’s getting laid, or I’m slitting her throat, hey, maybe it’s how it ends, we get to the top, bam rip goes away and we make her melt beneath our fingers. Plan?” they exchanged muted glances with each other.

“Hey Cassandra, wanna be on top, or fancy the bottom, I don’t mind sharing either way, my lovely wife here is an excellent guide for beginners,” the couple snickered at the stomping warrior, following playfully behind, the fence easily dismantling beneath a sweep of the hammer.

They stopped briefly with a loud, “No this is not a stop” as they reached a large icefield full of demonic entities, the couple paying Cassandra no mind as she instructed them as to the battle plan, too busy play fighting with teasing touches.

Cassandra stormed out, followed by Lu who was trying out different strokes with the hammer, choosing to see how a more cricket minded swing would affect the beings, leaving the other three up on higher ground. The two males joining in with the carnage as the small female looked bored, swinging the decorated arm around until fighting had stopped. 

“You have a staff?” she nodded at the elf’s question, “You are a dwarf?” this time she shrugged before nodding, “You have magic?”

“Are we just asking obvious questions now, because to be honest, this dream is getting a bit tedious,” her tone sulky until she looked out at the glistening body of her husband, moving quickly towards him, leaving the other two staring in varying states of disbelief.

“I really want to ask, are we nearly there yet, because while parts of this are fun, the fighting part is a bit monotonous already,” the pair of them span to glare at Cassandra, blaming her for this, “We don’t tend to do the fighting parts, much better to sneak and subdue, more of a challenge,”

“This is still not a stop,” was her only response, and they continued up the mountain, closing another rift outside the gates.

She had been unable to stop them heavy petting on top of a supply chest in the middle of the bridge, as she met up with Leliana and was shouted at by the angry Chancellor. Their apostate had gone to hide out of sight, and her troublemaking dwarf had managed to steal writing materials and was busy scribbling down snippets with small diagrams, whilst mainly staring at the coupling couple.

They parted long enough to steal a breath, Cassandra banging loudly on the edge of the chest to force them to acknowledge her existence. “There are two ways to get to the top, charge with the soldiers, or go a safer path up the mountain and meet up with a group of scouts who we have lost track of, which do you prefer?” they looked at her with a slightly puzzled expression, before the familiar shrugs of acceptance.

“Eh, I don’t do heights, Lu will go that way with you, I can head up with the soldiers, we’ll meet up at the top, it’ll make the end scene a lot more… intense,” a dirty grin and her fingers disappearing into his chest hair again, had the Seeker breathing deeply and beginning to count to ten as she had been instructed to by Leliana.

“Seems reasonable to me, I don’t think anyone wants to deal with you being sick everywhere as soon as we get you more than a foot off the ground,” he’d captured her finger into his mouth, and the pair started to groan, ignoring the fact that they were surrounded by staring soldiers.

“You would part now?” She couldn’t help but stare at them in disbelief.

“Well, I’m trusting the lot of you to make sure my husband is safe, but as I’m pretty sure he would be just going it alone, I’m not worried so meh, you know,” she stretched her neck from side to side, squinting up at Cassandra, “Yeah, you should be fine,”

“My lovely wife won’t have any worries, point her in the right direction and she’ll meet us with no worries,” Vicky cooed at Lu’s words, “I’m not joking about the height thing, even in dreams she goes all peculiar, and I can see the ladders from here, I mean look at her, she’s going green just at the thought of going near them,”

They parted with far less fuss than she’d come to expect, Lu waving his hammer at his wife cheerily before setting off, not waiting for the others as they ran to catch up. Vicky merely smirked before sauntering up the main path, the remaining soldiers following her uncertainly like ducklings.

The group of four made quick work, the Qunari not stopping very long in between the demons that stood between them and the way forward, with introductions finally being made now that there wasn’t as much sexual stimulation to distract the now defacto leader of the group.

“Meany Lu, aka Lu the mean, according to my fair wife, Lucian to my work colleagues, childhood friends, all my family but never to my lovely wife, you should get her to say it though, she’ll shrill your ears off,” he winked at them, dispatching the rift interfering with the missing scouts escaping, “Nice to meet you Varric, Solas, Cassie,” he wiggled his eyebrows at her as she growled in disgust.

He didn’t leave a chance for anyone to draw breath before heading off in the direction of the giant rip, letting himself fall down the drop, forcing them to slide down after him to keep up. Even at the pace they had travelled, she was waiting, leaning lavisciously, her back against a wall, her robe artfully positioned to suggest the most amount of flesh available whilst a man clothed in plate and fur stood bright red, eyes firmly ahead next to her.

“Took you long enough dear, I was about to take the dear Commander up on his offer, isn’t that right Cullen?” her husband dropped to his knees in front of her, pressing light kisses to the delicate skin of her ankle as she hooked a leg over his shoulder, the Commander immediately retreating to the safety of Cassandra and company, resolutely not looking at either of them.

“Please, we just need a bit more of your time, and then we will leave you to do whatever it is you want to,” Cassandra on seeing where this was heading, had decided pleading was the most appropriate way to stop them from fornicating with no respect for where they were.

“Throw in the Commander, and you have a deal Cassie,” who squeaked as Cassandra nodded in resignation, shooting her betrayed looks, “And don’t forget we are planning to help you with your pent up emotions too, did you talk about how you like to play on your way up?” Cassandra bit her tongue, accidently stamping on Varric’s foot as he started to make more notes, still, it had been enough to break up the inevitable scene, the pair pausing long enough to get them moving again.

Leliana greeted them as they rounded the corner, and the large now ruinous area quickly filled with soldiers trooping in behind them. They’d managed to take less than a step when the sound of the female's voice echoed round, as if summoned from the sky, whilst Vicky was clearly occupied with her husband against a wall.

“How about here?” It was clearly her voice, and it was enough for Solas to hold his hand up as Cassandra started to question its provenance.

“Oh look, it’s one of these fantasies, the naughty mother being “sacrificed” a definite leer to the word sacrifice, as the words continued to echo round, all eyes now firmly on the couple who were ignoring them all. “Weird though, it’s that shit Corypheus, the one - oh fuck, yes, I do know what this one is now, it’s the start of the whole thing” the tone had shifted from smut to one of dawning comprehension, there had even been the sound of something smacking bare flesh.

“I have no idea what you are on about though love, and they are glaring at us, think we could steal the guys and the chains though?” Lu’s voice this time, gently chiding.

“Oh it’s great though, cos this prick - who might I add should still have been under the lock and key of those guys, the probably Orlesian maybe not but definitely not Ferelden Grey Wardens - because Ferelden Grey Wardens are best wardens, amirite?” there was the sound of hands clapping for a moment, Varric’s hand moving rapidly as he choked writing down everything mentioned.

“I mean, I’m not exactly sure how I’m supposed to argue with that statement - however they are all glaring at us still, I’m not sure how long they’ll remain distracted by our awesomeness love. Think we could steal the guys though, I mean we have gone red before but there’s a limit you know, and the older woman doesn’t look into it, in fact she looks like she wants to be anywhere but here.”

“Anyway, as I was saying, so this guy, Mr Red I’m Corypheus and I’m a massive prat, has conned the not Alistair wardens into thinking they are undergoing the calling, because he’s a prick, a prick who some tit of a god gave their magic orb to.”

“Seriously, we’re doing this? I was hoping to be the one in chains by now,” there was a distinct lack of impressedness to Lu’s tone as he all but whined at his wife.

“It’s great though, Inquisition, lots of back story, it’ll make the scene all the more worthwhile, I promise, and we won’t remember a thing anyway because we end up in the fade, and a blasted nightmare demon - I mean come on, a huge twatty spider decides to steal our memories - for reasons that are not important. ANYWAY, as I was saying so this tit of a god, who is more like a social justice warrior back in his day, decides he’s standing against slavery - worthwhile yes - imprisons his fellow gods, after they kill his best friend god or something, except that God isn’t really dead and ends up having saved Alistair back at Ostagar, anyway getting sidetracked, so bad gods locked up, he does something to the fade and brings a veil down cutting off magic or blocking it or something, elves lose immortality, and now the tit decides that after he’s taken away all the infrastructure it’s time for him to have a bit of a sleep, a bloody long one.” there’s an awkward silence as everyone continues to stare at the couple who have given up on being discreet about their actions and are rutting against a crumbling pillar.

“All goes well, because I mean, no way that was going to go wrong, leaving a massive mess for no one with any power to mop up. He sleeps, world changes, funnily enough, he wakes up all weak because - wow that’s what happens when you sleep for centuries, and wonder of wonders, the world isn’t how he would like. Obviously with his decision not to leave any plans for the rebuilding, no that isn’t fair he might have done, what he should have done was actually stuck around to supervise if he had plans,” there is a different sound, this time of someone trying to interrupt with Vicky cutting across firmly, “Shut it, Cory,, you should be dead, things who should be dead don’t get a turn to speak. Anyway, instead of waiting to regain his power, the tit decides that no time like the present to try and fix it all, but oh wow, who would have thought that sleeping for millennia would leave you needing - don’t you even start Cory, I’m getting to your part don’t you worry, but I need to fill Lu in so he understands the back story so it means more to him. Instead of waiting say a few years, because you know when your immortal what difference does a few years make, nope he decides to give a powerful orb to this prick.

“I mean in fairness he was planning for this prick to die unlocking the power, but this prick goes, oooh nice a powerful orb of ancient magic, I haven’t tried to seek godhood out before oh no, not the reason why there have been blights since that first attempt, oh no I’m a massively sensible sort. That’s the face I pulled when you learn about the plan, because yes, you guessed it Cory is about as sane as a box of rattlesnakes and plans on ripping the world apart and steal all that lovely power for himself. But he needs a sacrifice, and here she is, the Divine herself - think the Pope if the Pope meant something to half the population, maybe even more, who knows anyway, very big political big player - think Aslan! She’s like killing Aslan, but instead what happens is the big ritual gets interrupted by someone, its one of eight people, male or female, one of the four races, going all “What’s going on here” I mean seriously, surely one of them could say something different. This prick goes “Slay the intruder” - move and I will do something you regret, and then she kicks the orb at the intruder, they catch it and get the orbs power invested in their arm, which in about four years they eventually lose because the tit of a god is a massive tit.

“Don’t - why did you kick the orb at us, I don’t want it, he doesn’t want it, we want these Wardens, your chains - Cory I swear to fucking gods I will end you if you take a step closer” there is a very familiar growl from the male of the couple, the one that he makes every time someone gets too close without invitation, clearly a warning, “We pick it up together, massive explosion, jaunt through the fade - which is green and shitty as ever, chased by fucking spiders because they are unable to have fear of heights chasing after us on a small scale anyway, and a spirit of Faith shoves us through the other side.”

“Well I guess you could ask if they knew anything about what happened Seeker, but, uh, yeah…” and then stunned, “Shit she said Corypheus, we killed him, Seeker, he was dead, the Wardens- shit this is bad, this is very bad” If Varric could have lost any more colour from the vision conversation, the dawning realisation of whom they had been berating definitely did it for him.

Leliana seemed to be bouncing between information bliss and paranoia about the amount of people who had heard the glut of very sensitive knowledge that had been gleefully shared between the couple.

“Any of this goes in a book Varric, your hide will become its binding, do we understand each other?” he held his hands up in surrender at the large sword waving in his face from the Seeker, who looked like she wanted to burst into tears, Solas looking very much like he wanted to join her.

The couple, on the other hand, had just finished another round of coupling, whilst everyone else were processing, and had made their way down to the ground level, the whole scene replaying no longer just sound but also visually. The Couple entering the room in shift and boxers, how the female had raised her hand every time Corypheus had tried to speak, the male playing with her hair as she had spoken. How the Divine had on the verbal prompt kicked the orb at them, for them to back away in horror, before going in for the attack as Corypheus had tried to regain it.

The physical couple, however, had paid as much attention as they had before, choosing to take advantage of the complete distraction to carry out a hushed conversation that had them both looking slightly upset and frazzled. It was only when they came to a verbal stalemate, coupled with the lack of movement from above, that they proceeded to open the tear, summoning a Pride demon. Too late to actually help, the still stunned onlookers finally reacted, as Lu kneecapped it quickly, whilst his wife gouged out its eyes with her two crystals, the pair of them somehow managing to look unimpressed by it all.

There was a small, nonverbal debate this time between the two, paired with kicking the dead demon a couple of times, and long sighs. “Let’s just get it over with, hopefully we’ll wake up and go do something fun.” mutual shrugs, with slightly wistful glances, a wrinkling of her nose and a half shrug from him in response, both pulling hard at the sky, before passing out into a heap.


	2. The part that involves a lot of sitting around and waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which nothing really happens and yet it's still really long, but there is lots of naked flesh, but no smut - I mean no real smut, just hot soapy... also 
> 
> “We could just warn the recruits not to wander too close unless they-” Varric stopped at the look of horror on Cassandra’s face.

The trip back down the mountain back to Haven proved to be complicated, and needing a great deal of discretion. Shifting Lu had taken several of the stronger men to hoist his dead weight onto a cart, hindered by the seeming death grip the pair had on each other, even whilst unconscious.

There had been several debates about what to do with the pair, whilst it was fairly obvious to all involved up at the Temple they were innocent to the greater extent - Cassandra had pointed out that they had all but admitted to the explosion, which was met with some objection from Varric. There was less debate as to the retention of knowledge as to how it had happened, but that had become less of an issue with the barrage of chatter between the vision pair had supplied them with more information than even the spy mistress knew what to do with currently.

The issue had come from where to keep them, there had already been rumblings between the more… devout soldiers as to having such a couple in the heart of a good Chantry village. In the end it had been a bright red Cullen who had suggested the old potion master’s cabin, that fell within the outer walls but was still far enough away that sound wouldn’t travel. There had been no discussion as to why that would be an issue. 

“We could just warn the recruits not to wander too close unless they-” Varric stopped at the look of horror on Cassandra’s face. “Hey, they don’t seem the sort to take without consent, well other than” his voice trailed off, eyebrows waggling in Cullen’s direction who was resolutely not looking at them. “Although, technically you did give consent for that,” she made a strangled yelp, “You did Seeker, just handed him over like a piece of meat, anyway, I think my previous statement remains, just warn the recruits and maybe the rest of the village too for good measure.”

One of the more innocent looking scouts was heard asking if the unconscious pair had been sent by the Maker, before being cuffed round the back of the head good naturedly as it was met with strangled snickering laughter. Varric had scribbled down the suggestion however, as Leliana had gone particularly blank faced at the idea.

Solas had tried to slip away twice, looking shell-shocked, before also being slung onto the back of the cart, with strict instructions to Varric that he was now under Varric’s protection, and should anything happen it would come out of Varric’s hide. Cassandra had decided that she would take out all of her frustrations on the dwarf who had become the next best target after his easy acceptance of the situation after he’d stopped repeating how Corypheus was definitely dead. 

Alchemist Adan had been collected at the gates, and brought directly round to the large cabin where the two single cots were shoved together and the couple unloaded onto. He’d offered up assurances gruffly that they were, in his definitely not a healer thank you very much, opinion, fine and probably in his still not a healer opinion, needing sleep. He had promised to send a few potions down later, if someone could be bothered to collect all the free herbs that were growing rampant round the cottage. He had also pointedly ignored the invitation from the dwarf to feel free to take some with him.

Cassandra disappeared shortly afterwards, last seen heading for the Chantry, Varric soon followed pulling Solas along who obliged with numb compliance. Cullen then dismissed all but his Captains, with Leliana letting all but three of her scouts vanish. Between them assigning shift rotations, a Captain and a Scout per nine bells, with cross over time for debriefing. A necessary precaution as a small group of armed villagers appeared as the area had cleared, looking surprised as instead of just two people in the Cabin, they were greeted by a very angry looking Commander, a very blank faced Spymistress and six highly trained professionals. This would prove to be the first of multiple attempts on the Couples lives.

In the several days that the couple slept, there had been growing awkwardness in the village as to their provenance, whilst there had been a few mutterings of the Maker which was quickly stamped out by the Chantry, there was no doubt that the decorations on their arms gave them a purpose. A good one, even if their actions proved to be more of those of desire demons. It had proved difficult amongst the servants, with such strong disapproval from the Chantry that the few who had originally been assigned to care for the Cabin and its inhabitants being threatened with ostracisation. The threatened fallout at the suggestion of using the fresh faced recruits to do the work, from the servants who were still currently serving, who had been suspiciously riled up after a long village held meeting at the Chantry, had the Advisors in a difficult position. It had taken a merc group arriving late to the conclave before there was a solution to the increasing hostilities between the fledgling Inquisition and the Village, with the neutral party happy to supply them with a housemaid, at the same cost as a fully trained veteran.

Varric had been true to his word, and had moved Solas in, making sure the Mage was cared for but never left alone, joking that he was fattening him up for sacrifice. It had helped distill the rising tensions, the jovial dwarf had been generous with his donations to the tavern and merchants, his easy charm disarming the more vocal racism that had become prevalent in the days since the explosion. He had also promised to contact Hawke and company regarding the Corypheus issue, having decided that the threat of the former Warden prisoner was greater than the risk posed by lying as to their whereabouts. Cassandra had taken it with more grace than any of them had expected, though the training dummies were torn through at a far greater rate.

There had been little surprise when a rather glowing scout appeared to say that they had woken, but that it might be wise to give them some time, and some more “supplies”. The scout had managed to retain a straight face, even as they had subtly shifted on the spot in front of Leliana, before being dismissed back to her station with a cocky sway in her hips as she left.

It was less of a surprise when they finally appeared, he with the cheerful, boyish, puppy appeal at her heels as she prowled through, a proud tom cat, dripping with pheromones that laid heavy in the air as she passed. There was unease from some of the more devout villagers, as the scout escorted them into the Chantry, but no strikes of lightning occurred, nor did they burst into flames crossing the door as one small silly rumour had implied.

The Chancellor lost his nerve the moment they entered the room, the taller male filling the doorway, whilst the smaller female stared the clergyman down with a heated glare, that somehow managed to promise to desecrate him there and then, that he would love it and never want to leave, that he would never be content without them again. He had whimpered at the glare, dropping his gaze and stepping away from them to the relative safety of the Seeker.

“We’ve had a chat,” she indicated to her husband, taking control of the conversation before anyone else was able to say anything, “And we’ve decided this is going to be one of those dreams, the irritating ones that won’t finish until we get to the end of whatever it is that needs doing,” she let out an annoyed huff, “We know you’ll just pester us constantly, you’ve proven that much already, so yes, whatever crap you want us to do, we’ll do it, but this is not us blindly agreeing to do things, and you will give us time to do what we want” 

“What my lovely wife means is, you don’t stop us from playing and we will do whatever quests you want in between sessions” he dropped a kiss on her head, making her wrinkle her nose at being sanitised, before she regained her composure with a wicked leer.

“Thanks for the toys, it was a lovely surprise,” she stretched her neck with a loud crack, before settling back into Lu’s body, “At least there are some benefits to this one… Although, I think we need a shower hooking up, just need a tank in the rafters, we could get the water fresh from the lake, pump style, and with a small heater we could have a really nice shower set up.” She span round, dismissing the others as the leer changed into barely restrained enthusiasm. “Or stick it on the roof, and have an outdoors one, maybe get some handholds against that back wall, make it wider so we could have four or five at once, sounds like a wonderful idea doesn’t it.”

“And you will want me to make it work, I’ll be the one to clamber onto the roof with a big tank, whilst you pretend you don’t understand how any of it works, Miss perfectly capable but idle,” he cocked an eyebrow at her eye roll, “Fine, I guess no one wants to deal with your hysterics as soon as your feet are no longer on solid ground. I mean if we’re going for a full on shower experience, you’ll no doubt want a sauna, because with that lake we have a free pool on the doorstep.” his tone was gently mocking, though the enthusiastic chest slap he got in response was at odds to how he had meant it to be taken.

“Totes ma goats” there was a wince from them both as she stopped herself for a moment, offering an apologetic look, “I meant, yes, a shower, sauna and then icebath, it’ll be like we’re living at a luxury spa. I bet we could even make some nice mud baths to keep that skin of yours in tip top condition, we maybe need something for those horns of yours though, not sure oil will cut it, maybe something thicker, we don’t want them to start hurting you, that’s my job after all.” they started to make their way out of the door, his hands reaching up to examine them as she started to muse outloud.

“Do you not want to know what we want you to do?” Came Cassandra’s strident voice calling them back.

“Eh, I mean does it matter? We are stuck here for the moment, so we’ll do it. Now if it’s to tell me you want to join us later, then that’s interesting, let Cullen know he’s welcome any time, but right now, we are of the thinking that you maybe need to get laid, definitely need a good nights sleep, but find someone to screw right and proper and you’ll feel much better. Hell even knocking one out solo style would help a little, self care Cassie, it’s important. Talk to Leliana, she understands,” with that they left a quietly stunned room, with Cassandra looking pale as a sheet, her fingers gouging into Leliana’s arms.

“Bit harsh dear,” 

“Well, that’s me, subtle like a rock,”

“Don’t sing, please don’t sing, and we both know that was done more as a jab than lack of subtly…” she grinned up at him, with thinly veiled anger shining from her eyes.

“Love you too, now let's go scandalise the neighbours, I bet we can get something rigged up by tonight showerwise, won’t take too long if we don’t dally. It might help to stop me from deliberately stabbing people, at least not with words anyway.” they stared at each other for a moment, before he broke contact with a half shrug, “Lead on Charter, we’ll even let you join us in our first shower, you need it, I can smell you from here,” the words sounded almost vicious, even with the marked effort to smile before she shook her head. “Apologies, my mood is not something to be taken out on you,” she shook her body out, pinned a more convincing smile on her face and gestured to lead once more, “Lets go, things to do, people to screw,” a pause and then a soft vicious, “over”

They made a strange trio walking back through the village, a dwarf, an elf and a Qunari, the latter two with dubious expressions whilst the dwarf was practically vibrating with suppressed emotion. There had been a momentary hesitation at the gates as Charter went to lead Lu off to the blacksmith, at the fixed smile that had painted itself on Vicky’s face until she waved them off, hardly waiting for them to take a step before she headed back to the Cabin. She’d paused to grin at Cullen who had visibly quailed at the sight of her, or perhaps at her expression, she couldn’t be sure of which, he’d hovered for a moment before taking a step to greet her, before his attention was pulled away with the tumble of a recruit who had stumbled and then proceeded to knock over half of the nearby trainees. She couldn’t guess as to whether he felt relief or consternation at the interruption as he turned away to berate the field, 

The sight of Cullen’s second in command leaning with his eyes half closed against a tree facing the path from the village to the cabin had the smile switch to more of a leer, tall, well built and an accent to die for, he’d been a welcome surprise when they’d woken. Or woken the second time at least, the first time there had been a bright red female who looked as if she was going to pass out with embarrassment at the sight of Lu’s impressive morning erection.

“Nothing better to do than prop up at tree huh, I can think of something more fitting you time,” she gave him credit, as he just grinned back at her, “You might want to find a ditch digger though, we have come up with a cunning plan” and whilst the small joke passed him by, he gained more respect at his lack of negative reaction to the change of direction in her words. It had been a highly pleasant surprise to find he was one of the good ones who didn’t believe it all revolved around sex, or so he was leading them to believe so far.

“I take it you have a plan, Madame?” she loved a good accent, and that he had by the barrelful, just the right side of polite too. She would happily keep this ones company, Charter too had proven to be an utter delight, which made her groan slightly at her earlier treatment. A slight eyebrow cock had her shaking her head in a dismissive manner.

“We have decided that for the benefit of all, and mainly my sanity, that this place needs a good shower, my lovely Lu has gone to get the materials to make the shower part, but I need your help to sort out the drainage, no point ruining it by letting the waste go back into the lake.” He looked slightly puzzled, though if it was her words or the way she couldn’t stop running her fingers through her no longer fastened hair in a slightly distressed way was his business, “We don’t shit where we eat, same for the shower.” and anything to occupy her from situation at large was a good thing, she needed something banal to focus on so that she wouldn’t continue down the path of verbal destruction from earlier.

She indicated for him to follow, offering him a slightly pleased smile as he fell into step without question, definitely a keeper. She led him round the back of the cabin, pointing out as she spoke, “We need a large slab, it’ll have to be lightly chamfered to lead the water to a large pit that needs digging just past it. We’ll put another slab that acts like a bridge above it stopping us from falling in and breaking our necks. In fact, got some chalk?” she eyed him, dubious that he did, but still barely holding back a sigh as he shook his head, why she asked as if it was part of a normal guard duty kit was further proof of her growing displeasure at the situation. So she grabbed a stone instead, and started to sketch on the nearby rock face, diagramming for him what she needed.

He’d been very good and hadn’t mentioned the quality of her diagrams, the concept was fairly clear and she’d gotten a bit uppity as the lines that had started off crisp had veered off into squiggles. For his restraint she rewarded him with a peck on the cheek, her temperament easing in his calm presence.

“So we have a pit, needs to be about my height, and large, we want the shower base to be bigger than the spray of the water, we can hook up some walls later if needed, but there is something free about washing in the open.” it wasn’t quite a grin she gave him, but it was heading in the right direction, her eyes giving him a cursory once over, the hint of a leer just lurking in the background, before going back to the explanation. “Bottom layer will need a thick layer of stones, about the size of my thumb nail, to drain the water away, next level up we need about my nails worth of fine sand, the stuff they use to make flasks with, then on top of that is a good half my heights worth of rich soil, you know the stuff that they use to grow vegetables in. And at the top, we need a thick layer of much coarser sand, stuff from the beach should be fine. 

“We won’t need the top slab tonight, but we will need a base slab if we want to use the shower today. It’ll direct the water into the pit and filter it down, making it pure water again before hitting the ground level where it can return to the water table without contamination, and most likely just drain into the lake.” she’d started tapping on her lips with a finger as she spoke, her brain whirring as she focussed on this, pushing everything else away. “We’ve done it before, it works well, but if there is going to be more than two of us using it... “ she span and smacked him hard in the chest. “Go and tell Lu we need two tanks, and he’ll need to up the order for pipes too, they may as well get the order in now, it’ll mean we could have running water inside too, maybe - maybe not, how do we get the grey water out. Hmmm… thoughts to think about later.” she looked up at him with a frown as he hadn’t moved away, “We’re burning daylight here Rylen pet, I want to see a couple of strapping young things sweating in the sunlight as they dig my ditch, tout suite”

It had taken several ditch diggers the afternoon to dig a hole big enough for her to be happy, the heap had been separated out into reusable for the filter, and to be used elsewhere. Rylen had managed to steal some of the rawer recruits that had managed to gain Cullen’s ire into gathering sand and soil, with the stones easily collected from the heaps by the old mines. 

There had been some discussion as to how they would get a large enough slab for the base of the shower, until Rylen’s families occupation came in handy, as he coordinated the shearing off of a large slab from the nearest suitable rock face, promising that given time someone could carve out a lip on three of the sides and that it wouldn’t be too much harder to recreate the process for the grate over the filtration system. The moving of the giant slab though had taken much sweating and stripping of clothing of the strongest recruits and villagers they could get their hands on. When Lu and Charter finally returned, it was to a wife who was all but purring in pleasure at not only the progress made, but the sights she had been witness to, her bad mood all but vanished.

The shower progress came to a grinding halt, the tanks needing to be cast, and the sheer amount of pipework needed far outweighing what was currently available, but with the strapping helpers all falling into the cold water to wash off, it was enough to distract from the delay. They were all invited to stay and be fed, and perhaps to even stay the night, only the bravest agreeing to do so, as the others trudged back weary and well worked to the safety of the Chantry village. 

For the ones who stayed, they ate well, the veteran turned housekeeper appearing with a roast ram and enough bread to feed an army, as they all sat around a merry camp fire, which was enough to keep the evenings chill at bay. A cask appeared as if by magic, with cards soon following, Rylen sweet talked into singing Starkhaven lullabies with others joining in to share tavern ditties well into the early hours.

They all slept outside, cloaks being used as blankets, limbs as pillows, all hints of the fear that had lingered like a bad smell, as to what had happened and what was to come, dispelled by the aura of all being well from the couple. They had been remarkably inexplicit in the mixed company gathered, gentle kisses, cuddling into each other, fingers idly tracing skin, combing through hair and soft smiles at the people who had joined them for the evening. And they included everyone, no heat of desire as she had kissed the helpers on the forehead, tucking them in to go to sleep, safe. They were safe here. 

In the end it had taken another three days for the system to get set up properly, they’d abandoned the idea of pumping water into the cabin after there had been some very heated debates between the couple, and then between the couple and a carpenter as to how difficult it would be. Vicky having spiralled into consequences of every outcome, before being convinced to stop, compromising with two spigots at the side of the shower, one that heated the water with a fire rune, and the other that pulled from the secondary cold water tank that had been hoisted onto a small platform above.

The Diplomat had been the first to risk bearding the lions in their den, having given up on waiting for them to return back into the village, having missed out on earlier introductions in the midst of the chaos of dealing with the Chantry disdain and the rising tension of the Merchants.

“Vicky and Lu, or Lucian if you want to be fancy, both of us the tender age of 35, no children, also known as Madame by some,” she winked at Rylen who had been loitering with intent at the doorway, “Mistress on occasion, I do respond to Please too, if you have a mind to want it,” Josephine had done her best to maintain eye contact at the obvious baiting, if not a steady hand as she scribbled down the information. 

“Vicky and Lu, it’s how we sign cards,” he’d helpfully added, before correcting at an amused glance from his wife “Well, it’s how she signs cards, my writing is atrocious” after which she had been invited to stay and eat with them, but chose to make her excuses, scurrying off, leaving the small group to enjoy the waking of the day.

They’d employed the helpers again to start work on the sauna that Lu had jokingly suggested. The Helpers who had moved to camp next to the cabin, this time her diagram only slightly neater with the access to paper and lead, with Lu declining to redraw it after she had pulled a face at him, in many ways he was particularly wise to the pitfalls of married bliss. Lu then continued to spend a great deal of time hopping in and out of the igloo shaped hole, crouching down to give an accurate depth to dig down to, in between being abused to haul the heavier rocks out of the way. The shower was greatly appreciated at the end of the day, as they washed away the evidence of all of their hard work.

For the most part, there had been a tacit agreement by the Advisors to leave them to it, as there was no task for them to tackle until they received the responses to the multitude of crows sent out days prior. It was easier to leave them to entertain themselves and not have them sending any more of the village into hormonal rampages of hysteria. 

Leliana had commandeered Varric into writing up all of the different accounts of the vision that had been spoken, comparing them to her own, fact checking each other in between answering the messages that had already started to pile up. Solas had been asked to research old gods, and the nightmare demon, as someone who had introduced himself as an expert of the Fade, and Varric had confided in him, as a way of making sure the Chantry couldn’t accuse him of anything untoward by not being busy.

Cassandra had taken to chopping wood, after being banned by Cullen from the training dummies after Threnn had threatened to remove them from the requisition list. She’d tried to join in with the ice fishing with the hunters, but had proven to be lacking the correct temperament, with it being diplomatically put that her energies would be better suited to something more physical. No one had dared utter any other suggestions, especially ones that bore any resemblance to that which the Couple had offered days earlier. 

It had been with the second task that the helpers were employed with, that had Cullen biting the bullet, his curiosity outweighing his anxiety at seeing the couple again. He’d not quite been avoiding them, as he’d taken on more of the captains work to make up for the fact they were rotating in and out of guard duty, the extra work giving him little chance to have any time spare to relax before sleep. He walked in on a confusing discussion about the merits of adding a second tier to the hole, as Lu was lying on a ledge in the pit.

“I took it, people would just be sitting, but I see your point, if people wanted to lounge then there would be less space…” she directed her question to the men in the pit, “It wouldn’t be too much work to carve out another ledge? Maybe a bit deeper, give space for more than one person to lie down, not that you want to exert yourself too much in a sauna…” her hand had moved to rubbing at her nose, teeth catching at the fleshy part of her palm as she started to muse out loud.

“Or at least for a person of my size to lie down comfortably without worrying about falling off the edge,” Lu interjected, wobbling on the edge to prove his point, whilst she snickered at his actions. 

“You are a little early for the sauna, we are still in the debating stage whether or not we should take into account my lovely husbands size, or if it should be designed for real people,” she’d spotted Cullen, having waved in greeting before using his arrival as an opportunity to tease Lu who merely rolled his eyes at the far too easy jibe. “If you want a shower though, the waters fine, someone even brought us a privacy screen for those not at ease with their own skin” She gestured to the back of the cabin, managing not to roll her eyes at the idea of a privacy screen.

“Our lovely Adaar even managed to get us some nice friendly bathing equipment, to get you all squeaky clean,” the veteran bobbed her head in acknowledgement to the words, though Cullen looked more confused than ever, allowing himself to be led round by the small dwarf to where a huge watering spout hung off the edge of the roof, hovering over a gray granite slab, whilst she continued to talk at him.

“Pull the cord and water will fall from the shower head, pull it again to get it to stop. It’s hot mind, we’ve been playing with the temperature and decided it was easier to pick one, than try and filter it to meet different demands. The blue spigot will draw water from the lake though if you need to cool off at the end, just throw a bucket of it over yourself, or mix it up with the red spigot for a warmer experience. Privacy screen will stop anyone from joining you, though if you don’t mind you might be joined, the guys shouldn’t be needing it yet I doubt though.” She tugged him down with a gentle hand, placing a kiss on his cheek as he remained compliant with confusion, “You will feel like a new man afterwards, it’s like standing under a waterfall, a hot steamy waterfall.”

She left him in a state of bewilderment, staring at the shower whilst his skin started to crawl at the reminder of the length of time since his last full bath, so that he missed the arrival of his second.

“They won’t force anything,” Rylen’s brogue forcing him to wake up from the slightly stunned staring, “Not without you wanting them to in any case. You should try it though, the shower that is, I can get one of the runners to bring you some clean clothes, there’s towels inside I can get you,” he’d moved closer, starting to undo the clasps on the heavy armour, helping Cullen shrug out of it whilst he wasn’t saying no.

“We’ll put the screen up for this one, I can come back and help if you want still, maybe not want anyone to come though, they won’t until you ask them to.” His fingers helping the commander out of his shirt, loosening the belt that kept up his britches, stabilising him so he could step out of them without toppling over, leaving him to remove his smalls alone. As he continued to talk quietly, filling the air with his brogue, masking the sounds of the busy workers at the other side of the building.

“I’ll be back in a minute, give you chance to get fully undressed,” The screen was tugged into position, his armour and clothing being taken away, before Rylen returned quietly, several large towels in hand which he hung on the hooks that lined the wall of the cabin. Cullen had managed to kick his smalls to the edge of the shower, but had stopped there, looking at the variety of soaps and ointments with trepidation.

“Mind if I join you?” he shook his head, they had known each other long enough, shared bed spaces, washed together, they were after all brothers in arms with their shared history. His second stripped quickly and pulled on the cord, groaning as the water hit his head, “Fuck, if this isn’t the best thing you can do with water, I don’t know what is”.

She hadn’t been wrong about the temperature, the water made his skin turn pink, as it hovered just on the edge of being too hot, he could feel it beating away at what felt like years of grime. Rylen handed him a rough cloth, covered in a crystalised poultice, which tingled his skin as he scrubbed away at every part he could reach, handing it back and offering Rylen his back to reach those places he couldn’t, returning the favour until they both gleamed in the wintry sun.

The soap left his hair feeling soft and silky, and the pumice scraped away decades of dead skin, it was over too soon and not soon enough, his skin radiating heat. He did choose to follow Rylen’s example though, and threw several ice cold buckets of water over himself with nary a screech at the extreme temperature change, before drying off with a cot sized towel.

There was a discreet cough, before clothes were hung over the screen, fresh clothes for both men, and true to their word no one had interrupted , not even after they’d put the privacy screen away. Instead as they made their way back around, they were offered cool drinks along with the men in the pit, who, with Lu had started to carve out secondary ledges , the thick clay retaining its shape.

“Think you can let the others know they are more than welcome to partake in one of the great pleasures of life?” she grinned at him, still lacking in the heat he had been expecting, instead playful, slightly mothering as her gaze perused his freshly scrubbed skin.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if Leliana isn’t already on her way down, I will share with great regret how wondrous it feels, in the knowledge that I will have to queue for my next one once they realise,” he let out a dramatic sigh, pinkening as Lu winked at him.

“Commander, it wouldn’t take much effort to build another one by the training fields, with stalls. These fine people have it down pat, they’ll easily replicate the process, and they still have access to my fine diagrams” she indicated to where someone had erected a frame around the scribbled art work, immortalising it for all to enjoy much to her amusement. “I however, won’t let you steal Adaar’s resources, they can fend for themselves. She is far too busy and valuable to be abused by all and sundry,” Adaar bumped her hip into the Vicky’s side with an amused snort, clearly not buying the flattery.

He left, promising to return for the evening meal, bowing before he left to them all, feeling lighter, cleaner and he hesitated to think it, happier. He endeavored to pass along the message, expressing in great detail the benefit he had found, hoping that Cassandra at least would follow suit after the reports that were still coming through even after she’d moved to working with the more hardier of the residents. Leliana had immediately dragged Josephine down with fresh clothes, Solas had declined outright, he had managed to avoid all contact with the couple since the temple, and Varric agreed to head down once Leliana was back to watch his charge. There was still a lingering doubt surrounding the mage from the villages residents, leaving them uneasy at leaving him alone without obvious high level approval.

Cullen found himself being collected by Charter in the evening, who had insisted he bring a blanket, and found himself settled between the playful scout and his cheery second. A fire blazed in the middle of the ring of people, a ram on a spit was rotating slowly, a stew pot with hot broth catching the juices as they dripped. Conversations flowed light and uncomplicated, arguments about cheese, breads, whether to use rushes on the seats in the sauna or leave it bare with the clay. Simple, easy and pleasant.

The guards on duty were kept fed and watered, with people disappearing off to chat before returning with others. Meat was carved still on the spit, with some optioning to drop it into their own bowls of broth, some in bread which they then half dipped into the broth, or just at in strips with their fingers. He’d been handed a hot sweet milky drink, that warmed his bones, sipping at it as the gathered people started settling into the night, some curling up to sleep as soon as they were finished eating, whilst others continued soft conversations.

The couple were entwined, soft eyes meeting his across the fire, offering comfort if he wanted, if he was brave enough to get up and walk the few steps to their side. The lack of judgement, and a smile of acceptance as he couldn’t will himself to do so, choosing to hide, propping up against his seconds back, who was busy debating with an Antivan who had the better accent, with others offering other options to their mock outrage.

He couldn’t remember falling asleep, but he woke with Charter curled up at his side, her head on his chest, and Rylen sprawled with his foot almost in Cullen’s face. The fire was still merrily going, his hosts no longer visible, the sound of the shower and quiet moans offering guidance as to their whereabouts.

He’d slept, he’d slept well even, he felt like a young man once more, how he had felt before everything had happened, back when all he had to worry about was not getting caught relieving himself, when his biggest worry was running out of the lotions he and his roommate guarded with jealousy from the other recruits. Maker, if this was why Rylen had given up with lodgings with the rest of them, he was more than half tempted to join him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My voice is hoarse from reading this out loud. All mistakes are my own, and we will pretend I treasure them like I do the soaps and ointments Adaar carefully gathered.


	3. Finally a bit of progress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where we start to learn that the history is slightly different from canon *coughs* oh also some plot progression happens but without the wonderful duo for a bit because do they really need to be there for this bit? More awesome technical drawings, and tackling racism in the work place. Or Dwarfism.

Leliana had sent out a summons to all of them shortly after breakfast, with the couple declining on given the option of attending, unwilling to spend hours debating what to do, happy to wait for the paraphrased version after the Advisors wasted hours of their own time on it. 

The Inquisition had received responses from various people. Prince Alistair had sent word to Senior Warden Brosca and the Grey Wardens stationed at Amaranthine, and he had advised the Inquisition to his journey to Haven, with him due to arrive within a week if all went to plan, having left Arl Eamon to act as Regent in his absence. Varric had heard back from Hawke, who was also on route with the almost complete collection of the Kirkwall Collective with only Carver being left behind to act as Viscount and Aveline now pregnant and unwilling to risk travelling, even if her husband would be willing to trust Hawke not to drag her into more apocalyptic shenanigans without him.

They had sent word through to Val Royeaux, and the returning missive had been abrupt, rumours of the couple being demonic in nature had spread fast, spurred on by the continuing rhetoric from the outspoken Chancellor that beleaguered the integration of Inquisition and Haven. They were advised that any further threats to the Chantry would result in action from the Templar Order. Which had caused uproar within the gathered circle as the line had been so clearly drawn without hesitation. 

Missives had come in from several regions, with reports of rifts causing havoc, forcing fleeing refugees to gather in small villages adding to troubles and summoning groups of bandits to pray on the lesser roads for easy pickings. The similarity to the chaos ten years earlier from the Blight prickled uneasily amongst those who had witnessed it, and it did little to lighten the mood even with the promise of aid through information and approval from both the Prince and the Champion.

The immediate area of the Hinterlands was bearing the brunt of a war between rogue Templars and Apostates, threatening the lives of everyone who they came across. Alistair had informed them of his aim to bring troops to try and take back the region under the command of Arl Teagan, who had been summoned to Denerim with the worsening health of his older brother. When eyebrows were raised, Leliana brushed it off, “Amaranthine is the safest province in all of Ferelden, the Wardens keep it that way, Arl Eamon’s presence will be one of figurehead and no doubt a balm to his self import.” 

They also had been made aware of an Avvar threat in the Fallow Mire, which had been believed to have been abandoned after a plague had torn through the region years earlier, turning the difficult land into nightmarish with rumours of undead lurking beneath the murky boggy waters waiting to pull any unwary travellers to their deaths. The Storm Coast was reporting in of invading Tevinter Mages, with the Blades of Hessarian who normally kept the area under control, going off script and had started to behave more like the bandits they normally hunted, to the point where the only small settlement that wasn’t Hessarian sending a plea for aid through to the Inquisition after their request for aid from their local Bann had been ignored.

A Herbalist in Crestwood had sent through information of a giant tear appearing in the middle of the dam, the unspoken petition of assistance clear, as she had been cut off from the rest of the village due to the influx of rampaging undead - Varric had made a comment at this, before being glared at by the Spymistress, it had been Solas however who had addressed it. “The Blight caused a great many deaths, with a great many corpses being left as the people fled, with all the death and chaos that Ferelden has faced in a short century it is no wonder that the Undead swarm in such great numbers.”

As well as the undead, and the giant rift, the herbalist had sent word that the only real defence structure in the region had been overtaken by bandits, who were making travel difficult unless a heavy toll was paid, with the implicit which no one in the region had access to, radiating from the sparse lines. Leliana sent word to the Mayor in response for further clarification, but no response had been forthcoming.

Word had come through from the Orlesian side too, courtesy of several Dalish who had admitted on arrival, to being sent to spy on the Conclave, but had been held up on trying to cross Emprise Du Lion. They had reported strange changes in weather, according to anecdotal evidence of the few remaining townspeople. And that had caused raised eyebrows, the town was on a rapid spiral to obscurity, with the Dalish taking it in turns to sleep, after the way everyone who remained told tales of loved ones going missing in the middle of the night. 

Even with precautions, they had been captured briefly, taken to a large mine where there were strange red deposits that soldiers in odd garb had what looked like the missing townsfolk mining it. They had managed to escape, but had to spend weeks in hiding as they recovered, the red having left a tainted song that still echoed in their heads. Leliana had also sent an offer of help through to the Mayor there, but was dubious about receiving a response due to the current political conflict.

Josephine had managed to obtain a large map of Orlais and Ferelden, which had been spread out on the large table in a room at the back of the Chantry, the two former Hands of Divine having marked their territory clearly much to the displeasure of the Chancellor. For each problem they had word of, there was a pin, highlighting the areas that needed the most help. It painted a bleak and stark picture. 

A discussion in regards to the vision, did little to ease the growing dread as the pins managed to flash in the flickering candlelight, drawing attention back to the Map of problems, even as they tried to ignore it for other matters. The accounts of the vision matched, with nothing of import seemingly missed. Which led nicely on to Solas looking very uncomfortable, who had managed to offer up a potential name for the God who had given Corypheus the orb, Fen’Harel, with a promise for more information later. He did offer up, after a look from the Spymistress, that the god was not a well-loved one by the Dalish, and was known as a trickster. 

They’d paused briefly for refreshments after Varric had started on at Cassandra about the Hawke situation, which had then spurred her on to accuse him of lying, which he owned with prideful swagger. Josephine had headed off the inevitable duel to the death, with sweet drinks and hot treats, with Cullen in charge of stuffing them into the dwarf’s mouth every time he went to open it, and Leliana quietly explaining to Cassandra why Varric was necessary at this moment in time, and to kill a world-famous Author would only further endanger the Divines wishes. 

After tempers had calmed, it was decided that until Alistair arrived, there was little they could do except send out scouts to the Storm Coast and The Hinterlands to set up potential base camps for future forays. A small group of soldiers were to be sent to the edge of the Fallow Mire, with strict instructions to not engage with the Avvar, but to report back any movements towards the border.

Varric and Solas had been stopped from leaving as the topics changed to the more logistical, with requests of housing being made. An agreement of construction of more cabins and a small hall to be used for gatherings to be built near to the Blacksmiths as a result of the underlying tension between the Inquisition and Haven. Cullen promising to rotate the troops between training and gathering resources, the amount of metal, wood and herbs just lying around, a fortune not to be taken lightly. There had been an uncomfortable pause at this declaration, the previous threats from the serving classes still lingering like a bad smell, even with the decision to just hold out with barefaced cheek.

The Couple had offered a few suggestions, sent helpfully through Cullen who had his ear talked off over cold meats and fresh bread. Greenhouses, made with the sand from the lakeside to be built near to the outer walls where they would get the most amount of natural daylight, which could be used to supplement the inevitable rise in prices of food as the cold war continued to seethe beneath the surface. 

A shower block to be built close to the lake, the opposite side of the training field to where the couple were residing. There had been a suggestion of a pleasure house, but he declined to mention it, erring on the side of caution, even after it had been met with support from his Captains, well some of them. The arguments for had been sound, if not for the delicate balance of tolerance, this was not a mountain he was prepared to die for.

The guard rotation for the cabin was deemed no longer necessary, with the small throng of people constantly in the area, more than enough of a deterrent for any further attempts on the Couples lives. There was an agreement to spare some of the larger canvases to be hooked up for when the inclement weather hit, as a form of tacit payment or approval for their actions. 

This led into a brief discussion regarding the official description of “The Couple” that managed to lead nowhere useful, other than Varric claiming to have capitalised the descriptor whilst sending out his messages. It sat better than the Demons, or Heretics, or worse that the Chancellor was keen to have brought up in the sermons. There had been little talk of compassion or community, with each passage seemingly a pointed dig at the unholy nature of the decorated pair.

It was late afternoon before the conversation had come to a halt, with all of the participants in varying states of fatigue, parting with another more official invitation to attend the “Cabin” and its facilities for the evening repast. Varric promising to drag Solas along whether he liked it or not, and Cullen found himself escorting Josephine down to the area whilst her hand perched lightly on his arm, chattering gaily about hosting so many important people in the upcoming weeks, as they passed through the curious villagers. How she managed to appear relaxed and happy after the horrors that had been discussed, left him in high regard for her abilities, and kept him from screaming out his own frustrations.

He’d managed to pass her off onto Lysette, so that she could bathe, half expecting to be forced to follow so that he might listen to more conversations in regards to pillowcases, he had learnt a great deal about them in the brief walk from the gates. As they’d passed through the gates he’d heard Rylen barking orders at recruits, to which he could only imagine the reason why, perhaps a stray moth had landed on someones pauldron and another just needed to help by knocking it off with a two-handed axe, Maker save him from the eager puppies who had less sense than nugs who at least scattered in the face of predators. Charter had greeted them, breaking from her own harassment of a fellow scout, proving yet again that Leliana had problems within her own midst, even if she did like to pretend otherwise. He couldn’t bring himself to return to his own tent, however, having handed over Josephine, the pleasant greetings from the men who were already sat around the campfire enough to get him to linger.

The Couple were busy conversing with each other, sat on the edge of the pit that would be a sauna he was assured, her legs dangling freely whilst his were resting on a wide shelf below. Lu had spotted Cullen first, as he had been facing in his general direction, offering up with an easy smile and a slap at the space next to him, a solution to Cullen’s next actions, further compiled as she lent backwards tilting until she could see him, matching her husbands welcoming smile.

“They finally let you out? The gang were laying bets on that it wouldn’t be until tomorrow morning until we saw you again. Adaar guessed it would be evening meal, and Charter swore it would be no later than lunch” he offered them a casual shrug, before tilting his head back towards the back of the cabin, where the shower lay, ready to blast away all the slime of hostilities away.

“Say no more, you can fill us in on the hot gossip after though. Like, we are guessing we need to go and collect a hundred petals from a plant only found near the nest of rampaging dragons under a full moon, when the moon reaches its zenith? And then when they are collected, we have to come back here to receive the next part of the quest, which is to head back to where we just were to collect the scat of said dragons, but only when it is torrential rain, which we then have to come back here with, to be told to head back to kill them whilst dancing naked?” Lu rolled his eyes at her, “What? Could be worse, it could be go talk to this person who is stood two metres away but I am far too busy to do myself, and they are deliberately not listening as the message is told out loud… You love those types of quests”

“You will be glad to know the only, “quest” we have for you, is to receive coverage for the group who have decided to live out by you. Other than that, a personal side quest might be to please not force a situation where I have to slay the Chancellor?” he gave his best puppy eyes, something he hadn’t practised since his days as a recruit. “We are waiting for a couple of groups to arrive over the next few weeks, before we are able to decide the best course of action.” He chose to sit as offered next to Lu, leaving a respectable distance that the man had managed to fill by simply shifting his legs.

“Oh Lu, an actual quest purely for you dear, seeing as you are a former boy scout and all that,” she smirked at them, propping herself up on her elbows, her legs kicking gently against the dark wall of the carved clay. The tunic riding up to her mid-thighs, the promise of exposing more flesh forcing the former Templar to avert his eyes to Lu instead.

“And the one where we don’t force poor Cullen to slaughter a clergyman, you are claiming that one? I thought you preferred quests you could complete.” the good-natured sniping did a little to dispel the discomfort that threatened to form.

“Anyway, there’s no rush, it's not like we need it at the moment, but I’ll get it up before we move out,” he nodded to the lake where it was snowing, and then back to the area around the cabin where it was distinctly not snowing. “It’s a pretty good trick really. We don’t need to remember umbrellas and she hates putting on a coat,” her response was a mature and well thought out sticking out of her tongue.

“Look, why do I need to? Here anyway, I don’t at home if I can help it, it’s not like I melt if I get a bit wet, I’m not the wicked witch after all. You have pockets, so I don’t need a bag either most of the time, I mean it’s one of the many reasons why I would recommend marriage, for all the free slave labour.” which was received by a lobbed fruit stone in her general direction as she retained a straight face.

Cullen had slipped down a level in the face of the easy bantering, feeling the need to have something at his back, before being gently nudged into position between Lu’s broad legs, that closed to support his sides, whilst his large hand rested lightly on the top of his head in an unspoken question. Vicky watched on with a soft smile, making sure there was no unease before returning her gaze to her brute of a partner.

“Anyway, besides the point that you claim to be the best tent putter upper of the whole of your childhood county, you have almost double the height of me, you won’t struggle to string the canvas up between the trees and rocks, whereas I would have to clamber, and then I would invariably lose balance, freaking out at being so high up, and be almost catatonic for the rest of the day. Not worth it, better to leave you freakishly tall manly specimen to do that, I’ll be in charge of this” she waved a hand up at the clear sky above them, and then to the gentle blizzard at the outskirts of their area.

“As long as I’m not being expected to remove all the spiders as well, you - “ she raised a brow at him at the use of the word, “I mean we, we have enough volunteers in the area that I’m sure someone will have no trouble with the little menaces. At least you can’t shriek as you roll yourself away here, just shriek really loudly, it’ll be enough to rouse the whole blasted camp, and turn their hair grey.” his fingers had lightly started to card through Cullen’s hair, his eyes remaining on hers, watching carefully as his tone remained mocking.

“I’m sure the spiders here are poisonous, so it would be stupid of me not to be petrified of them, and I’m not the one who gets to wear armour,” he choked slightly, fingers stilling at her words, even as she smiled smugly back, her eyes flicking down to Cullen who had closed his under Lu’s ministrations.

“Can I just say, neither am I, I’m wearing a skirt and a bondage harness,”

“And I’m wearing a tunic as a dress, and it’s not even leather,”

“And you have the option of requesting something more armoury if you want to, Adaar even said she could sort out some rogue leathers if that was what you preferred. But you said, and correct me if I’m remembering this wrong, “No because they’ll just get in the way, why do I need to wear any armour, what's the point of having a big brute of a husband if I get hit first,” Anyway, Rylen likes clomping around in plate, and I’m sure the Commander here would rescue you from any furry threats no matter how small, if the literal hordes of other supplicants don’t get to them first.” his fingers lightly stroked Cullen’s cheek before trailing back to his scalp, tracing the shell of his ear as he went.

“I bet Charter would be quicker at responding, she’s very nimble when she wants to be, Adaar though would just stun it by glaring, have you seen the glare on her when she’s not happy, it’s enough to make a lesser woman squirm, I’m sure of it. You should have seen the poor sod who’d walked in on us earlier, he looked like he’d shat himself as he turned tail and ran,” they snickered at each other at the memory, they’d had fun regardless, orgasm denial being a game they toyed with regularly, Adaar however had reacted badly to being interrupted and had to be soothed before she gave up on hunting the interloper down to gut him.

“Maybe we should get you a cat while we’re at it, you know to make it more homey if we’re going to be here a while. You know how we miss being woken up two hours before we need to be, having everything we own covered in cat hair, being tripped up every time we venture near the cat bowl, having my groin used as a springboard to get to places that would be far easier to reach by not going over me…” Cullen cracked an eye open, rejoining the conversation as Lu started to get slightly more bitter the longer he spoke.

“Get a dog, a mabari even, far better than any cat,” for his trouble he was rewarded with a warning tug on his hair from Lu, and a narrowed gaze from her.

“I’ll talk to Charter about finding us a nice cat, it’ll be good, you know you miss not having something soft and cute to snuggle up against in the napping hours,”

“You could ask at the stables, they normally have a few cats that are keeping about the place, and there are always kittens, always kittens no matter how much work goes into stopping more kittens, somehow it’s like a demon cat appears and impregnates the lot and then the whole cycle starts again. Or I mean, that’s what people say,” he’d taken the less than subtle hint at his dog suggestion and offered out an olive branch, before blushing at the wives tale he’d spilt from his lips. In return though, Lu moved his hand further down to knead at the base of his neck, his fingers destroying the large knots with ease as he went.

“Kittens Lu, kittenssssss, I can be the crazy cat lady and have a whole cabin full of them, you know the crazy cat lady that just lurks below the surface, waiting for the chance to shine.” she grinned at her husbands middle finger retort.

“You were happy with the idea of a singular cat before muggins here mentioned kittens,” his tone remained playful as he manipulated the lax neck, “One cat or kitten, and only one, as in the same number of tongues I was born with.” He withdrew his hand, and Cullen turned slightly to glance up at him with a semi pout, before spinning back round as they were joined by Josephine, Leliana and Lysette all looking sparkly clean and in high spirits. There was a subtle nudge of Lu’s leg, and a discrete questioning glance from his wife as to whether he wanted to withdraw from the position, which he met with a minute shake of his head before nudging at the hand to continue where it had left off. “Or perhaps a cat is unnecessary…” 

Charter and Adaar soon joined them, shortly followed by Cassandra who had been frog-marched down by Varric. Leliana positioned herself between Josephine’s legs, with Lysette shuffling over for Cassandra to settle in a position of safety between the women. Charter and Adaar were busy sharing the warmth of Vicky’s legs, forcing her to sit up properly much to her chagrin, and Lu’s amusement as she made huffing noises brushing off dried mud from her elbows.

The fire pit that would eventually be used to create the heat for the sauna was lit, keeping the temperature nicely mild, whilst hot and cold drinks were passed around, with the conversations flowing with the lightness that had come to be expected from the area that was most definitely not Haven.

“So, spiders, poisonous yes?” Cullen snickered as she brought up the earlier topic, whilst her husband flicked his middle finger up again, easily seeing where it was going.

“Some of them, shouldn’t be any near here though, none of the venomous ones at any rate, not the real spiders, although maybe deeper in the old mines possibly. If there are any nearby they would be down there, especially as the mines have been abandoned for a while.” Adaar was the first to volunteer a response to Vicky’s definitely casual question.

“But if there were any, say in the cabin, you’d rescue me right?” Adaar twisted round to stare at her in confusion at the markedly casual tone in her voice.

“There won’t be any spiders in the Cabin, I mean there aren’t, I think we’d notice, or someone would at least notice if they came remotely close, there’s enough of us lurking about day and night.”

“But if there were any in the cabin?” Charter now tilted her head round to look at her, with Cullen burying his head into Lu’s leg as he continued to snicker.

“You think that there could be more than one in the cabin? I mean Adaar was in there not more than an hour ago, and you’ve been sat out here for longer than that, there are guards posted on the other side. They aren’t like mages, they can’t just fade step through walls, and I would hate to think of them as rogues and being able to sneak past” she shuddered at the thought, whilst the female dwarf turned pale at the thought of invisible spiders.

“What if they are already in there, and maybe she just hasn’t seen them?” Adaar started to look a little offended at the continued line of argument from her.

“You think I wouldn’t notice spiders, as in more than one of them, in the cabin that’s right there? I might be little more than a housemaid currently, but I’m not daft, you’re paying veteran wages for a reason.”

“I’m not saying you are daft, I’m just putting it out there that maybe they are hiding,”

“Like Charter said, they aren’t rogues, they can’t just disappear out of view, and it’s not exactly dark so they can blend in with the surroundings, like they can in the places they like to haunt, like deep mines and dark dank caves, not log cabins that are bright and airy and are full of people” She had gone from a little offended to fighting between baffled and angry.

“Did you check the rafters?” 

“Did I check the rafters? Is that a serious question, look we can go check again if it bothers you that much, but I am perfectly happy to bet that there really won’t be any lurking in the rafters.” Adaar stood up, to be pushed back down by a dubious looking Vicky.

“Look, I’m not trying to upset you. Pretend it’s a hypothetical question, if I was to go in there and see a spider, or like a few-” 

“There isn’t room for more than two spiders in there, regardless of how big it might be to you in your dwarfliness, it’s still not a huge cabin,” Adaar threw her hands up in the air, as her doubter grew offended at the dig at her height.

“Look I don’t judge you or Lu on being obscenely tall, I appreciate it instead because I am clearly the better person here, there is no reason to bring height into this. Anyway, it doesn’t matter how many there are, that’s beside the point”

“How is it beside the point, there aren’t any in there, there won’t be any in there, not now, not then, not ever.”

“Hypothetically though, Lu said he won’t catch them,” she managed to spit out before Adaar cut her off again.

“You don’t catch them, you kill them,” Charter piped back up, trying to soothe her by stroking her leg.

“Do you need to kill them? I mean at home I throw a pillow on them if they run at me, and stamp on it,” It was clear if there was any doubt in Vicky’s sanity, Adaar was definitely experiencing it now.

“How big is the pillow?!” 

“Pillow sized,”

“And they just - is the pillow made of stone, is this a dwarf thing, you lob a large rock at them?”

“Hey, what did I say about the dwarf height thing, no need to drag speciesism into it. I’m talking fluffy feather filled, the only hard thing I like under this head, is a nice body” she did her best to leer at Lu, whilst he pointedly ignored her having given up on the argument altogether.

“I think the question you are searching for is how big is the spider,” Solas appeared with Varric, both looking flushed from the shower, before settling down on the middle layer of the pit, having clearly been listening to the debate as it had grown more and more heated.

“Spider sized,” an unspoken duh was heard by Lu, as she made a circle between her index finger and thumb, Adaar flicking her lightly in response with a bark of laughter.

“Yes then, I will kill as many spiders as you wish in the cabin, although I have to admit I haven’t personally seen any sign of them, not even in the rafters.” 

“So what size are these spiders you thought I was talking about, like this size?” she made a circle between her two hands, paling slightly at the amused look she got in response, “Bigger?” Charter grinned up at her, before kissing her ankle playfully.

“Best not to think about it, stick to the back of a group and let the swords do their thing and you won’t need to meet any.”

“Ha, that means you do have to still kill them for me, Lu”

“She said swords, a hammer isn’t the same as a sword, they’ll just explode goo everywhere and you wouldn’t be any happier with that option. I personally nominate Cassandra to be the party spider slayer, or get Varric to shoot at them from a distance, it’s tactically a genius plan, and means that we don’t need to talk divorce,”

“My hero,” he grinned at her, squeezing Cullen lightly between his thighs.

That night set the tone for the following week, each night a few more arriving and staying, familiar teasing bickering between the Couple, good food, music, merriment and comfort, more and more a stark contrast to the reception the pro Inquisition members received in Haven proper. There was an unspoken, unbroken rule as to the information shared, Leliana had tested it extensively when someone had idly mentioned how no one gossiped about the things spoken about at the cabin, outside of the area. 

There had been several working theories as to why, the clear divide being an obvious one, where the not Haven was welcoming and safe, Haven itself was distinctly not so, and those who had sought out comfort were unwilling to risk it for the easy way the Chantry had turned its back on them with so much vindictiveness in some cases. The Couple had shrugged as they did whenever someone asked a question they found redundant, “What’s the point of safety if you have to worry about what you say or do?” 

She’d asked Solas if it was blood magic, a question that she had felt needed to be asked, but he had been unable to explain the phenomenon, beyond that he found no trace of blood magic within the area or on the people who visited it. Vicky had grinned at the suggestion, however.

“Like I’d bother to cut myself, it’s just what it is, I mean when you confess do you expect that it gets spread through all and sundry, I mean maybe you do, but normal folk, normal folk expect that confessional remains between you and the Maker? Andraste, Maker, sorry, it’s between you and the Maker. But what's to stop the confessional taker from spreading it all abouts? Nothing beyond it’s wrong to do so. Treat people with respect, like they are adults, and more often than not they’ll reward that trust,” 

She’d been stunned to see that they truly believed it, as if it was just how things were. But they were, or at least so far, and she wasn’t the only one who’d noticed it. And not just the big things, like the invisible roof that protected the area from harm, the changes to bathing and pleasure, the reduction in night terrors even. Little things were just right too, the right people for the job just appeared as if by magic, with tales of being held up but escaping from whatever situation unharmed but with vital bits of information that would prove to be most useful in the days, weeks and months to come.

Her messenger birds arrived in half the time it should take, the chickens that laid twice as much as they normally would, the herbs and spices that seemed to just restock themselves nightly without having to purchase more.

Cassandra had pulled the inner circle out to the small copse outside the walls nearest to the cabin where the couple were supposed to sleep, where she had been spending the majority of her time with a small group of woodcutters at the logging station. She’d made them watch in the cold for an hour as trees were felled, putting small markers next to each stump. Then she’d taken them for lunch the other side of the wall, back at the cabin, cutting off all protestations, forcing them to indulge both her and food, before being escorted back to where the markers remained, and besides them fully formed trees.

“Every time, every single time, we have even tried burning them, we leave and come back, and it’s as it was at the start. Same for the herbs, and the metal, it takes longer the further away from here you are, but this area, I swear you can turn around and it returns. Adan has started complaining every time he’s given any more elfroot, and the smiths are struggling to store the metal. We will soon run out of space to store all this wood, and this is with the construction efforts and the amount of fires constantly being burned.”

It brought the problem to more of a head, far sooner than they had expected, it had been made clear time and time again that they didn’t own Haven, and using resources to outfit the fledgeling Inquisition with shelter and basic equipment was one thing that couldn’t be quibbled about. But to make lasting structural changes, to start selling goods created from the resources gathered, for monetary gain, even to gift such things was a difficult line to tread diplomatically. Josephine had sent word through to the Marquis DuRellion, requesting his presence as a way of heading off potential criticism, not that the Chancellor seemed to believe the Marquis had any real claim either.

Coupled with this, it hadn’t helped ease the conflict between the Couple who spent all of their time outside of the village in the area surrounding the cabin, and Haven, for the people who avoided the area entirely, it was merely further proof of the Couple’s wickedness with their debauchery and evil. For the ones who had ventured bravely in, or for the ones who spent time with those who resided there, it became a much more complex issue.

No one could accuse the Couple of prudish behaviour, which did little to endear them to the more devout, they were open, instructive and accepting. Whilst it was common to come across people taking comfort in flesh, there was decorum, consent gained for all interactions that was seemingly abided by. Cassandra had struggled to accept how easy the others found it, how easily they could ignore the bare skin, the mating calls that filled the air, the heady scent of sex that was omnipresent around the area.

Still she’d found herself listening intently to a lecture from Lu, during the winding down of the day, with his previous occupation of Teacher being called upon as he was always happy to share his knowledge when asked. He’d sat with a young man off to one side, and was busy explaining how to read his own body for pleasure, sharing his own early embarrassing experiences, showing him the differences between oils and creams, a small lecture on good practices for hygiene, and the volunteering of the Couples own bedspace, which they so rarely used, for his own solo experimentations. 

He’d then sent the young male off to his wife’s side, who had wrapped him up in her arms, a kiss on the cheek, a whispered comment that left him blushing and whispering questions back. She’d slapped him on his rear, and sent him away with a louder, “35” laughing as he stumbled back to her husband, glowing with a newfound confidence and a cocky shift in his stature. It had been, almost enlightening to watch, even without being able to hear everything.

There was constantly a new project being undertaken, as fast as they finished one thing, there would be more diagrams scribbled out, passed around with in-depth explanations over copious amounts of tea and biscuits. Trades were shared freely, experience gained and skills honed. They’d managed to add six outhouses leading up the rock side away from the main camp, with handwashing stations outside of each, at the insistence of both of the couple, who had constantly groused at being forced to use a pot.

There had been a request made that on completion of construction, the terms of the buildings would be abided by, with four of them designated solely for solids, the two remaining purely for fluids. There had been some consternation at the slightly draconian ruling, and as to who would empty them out afterwards, but the promise of highly fertile soil, for the future greenhouses, and access to the laundry for the liquid gold which was so highly prized for its cleaning and dyeing properties, too much of a draw to pass up. Especially with the freely shared resources, giving them some easing of rancour between the two now distinct places.

The outhouses were kept clean, with the excess elfroot mixed in with the copious amounts of sawdust for the composting toilets, keeping the normal stench at bay. They were added to the list of future potential construction projects should the situation be solved between the Marquis, Chantry, Crown and Inquisition. 

The area of protection around the cabin had been slowly spreading, skirting the village walls entirely, but the unclaimed land became easier to work with, the recruits kept warmer and drier as they trained, which lead to a reduction in injuries, not that they were lacking in healing items. The stables had started to negotiate for space for a paddock, sensing change in the air, it was added to the list. The ever increasing list, that had Josephine smiling politely as she added to it, even as she kept a steady eye on the lack of responses from the people who would allow them to take steps to grow.

Leliana had assured her, that they had already started to look for alternative locations should the worst happen, but with the giant breach lingering in the sky above the ruins of the Temple, it was clear that for the time being, if they were to do as they promised, Haven was their home, and if they weren’t exactly welcome, well she had dealt with worse hosts than the Chancellor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I may have read another chapter out loud again, shortly after finishing the first. And was like, after the dullness of the previous chapter, have some arguing, about important stuff. 
> 
> Also I steal mage powers from the awesome Tamora Pierce because Trisana is the best mage.


	4. People finally start arriving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So tags should have been updated (future Vicky problem) to reflect the new arrivals. There is a discussion about the importance of boundaries, and an official declaration from the Chantry.

The Kirkwall crew arrived first, entering the valley in the early hours before dawn to be greeted by an exhausted looking Varric and Cullen, having been tipped off by outlying scouts as to their approximate time of arrival. They were taken to the large empty cabin, supplied with a pile of blankets, pillows, food and water, and given instructions to sleep and rest. Varric had waggled Bianca at them, before closing the door, with the sound of the two men taking up guard, a clear indication that they would be able to do so safely.

Merril had been the first to stir, wriggling out of the puppy pile of bodies carefully, drawn by the sound of muted conversations and the heady smell of freshly baked bread. She’d gotten as far as to open the door before Isabela threw a pillow at her, silently threatening her not to leave alone. Fenris was woken next as the former pirate turned self proclaimed Admiral, was less delicate at moving, booting him firmly in the groin as she scrambled to get free, almost as if she had meant to wake him. The two remaining men remained fast asleep, even after she had managed to elbow Anders in the stomach with a very firm jab.

There was a polite tapping at the door, before Varric’s dulcet tones, “Mid day meal is ready for those of you who can stomach being seen in the light,” which had Merril flinging open the door before Fenris could move in front, launching herself at the amused looking dwarf, “Missed you too Daisy, of course I missed Broody, and who is that leering at the back, why… I can’t quite remember the name, have we met before?” a pause as he was customarily groped on her way past, “Rivani! Not the chest hair, it isn’t a rug, it’s still my own or at least until you yank it all off with your wicked brutality.”

The bodies that had littered the area in the early hours of their arrival, were mainly gone, a ring of large logs surrounding a cooking pot had several couples lounging and a female dwarf knitting with two large sticks and several threads of yarn being pulled on at once. Beyond the smiles of greeting, no one paid them any particular attention, all choosing to continue on with their own business.

As Varric moved away from the cabin, a large Qunari female took his place, using a dagger to pick at her talons casually, “No Broody, you aren’t being held prisoner, we just thought you would prefer to know that there was some protection, while I’m guessing they still sleep?” He received a glare for that, but allowed his erstwhile lover to tug him over to the food without too much complaint.

They were shortly joined by an even larger Qunari male who threw himself down at the knitters side, whilst she mocked glared at him, pulling her wool out of the way as he threatened to spill it out in the direction of the open flames. “They say we’ll have another guest before evening love,” to which she swatted at him with the tip of a needle, yanking the yarn free from his mitts as he started to help. “You were the one who was starting to get bored, I thought you would appreciate the distraction beyond trying to amass as much yarn as you can use in a lifetime.”

“I’m not the only one, I mean it’s nice and all, sitting around doing absolutely nothing for weeks at a time, but at this rate we’re going to be stuck in this one for the next ten years, and barring a million blankets, we’ll have achieved literally nothing to show for it.” she let out a frustrated sigh as he’d tried to untangle the mess he’d made from being helpful, “I mean, I’ve picked up knitting again, although at this rate I might launch a needle through your skull if you don’t drop the wool dearest, because I swear to all that you hold sacred, I do not have the patience to unravel another giant knot when I’ve already knitted two thirds of a blanket. And other than my lack of patience currently, because I swear that you deliberately knotted it up, I can feel myself starting to get all motherly, and if I think about it too hard, I’ll end up reorganising the lot of them, and we both know how I get when I start fixing things” she slapped at his fingers, driving the unencumbered needle deep into the ground with a growl.

“I have been half expecting the half hour rants to start up over meals, I even warned them that it might happen,” she shot him a dirty look as she started to painstakingly unravel the mess he’d made, “Too soon? Too soon, got it. I can think of something though, we could do together, very distracting, that doesn’t involve anything matronly in any way shape or form, well if we do it right” there was a shimmer in the air, as she stared at him, clearly chewing it over, before a slight female elf appeared to take over the unravelling, the blanket now forgotten as the dwarf was pulled to her feet, and the pair of them disappeared off round the side of the cabin.

“So that was them, The Couple” Varric nudged Daisy, pushing more food into her hand, “I doubt we’ll see them again for a few hours, Lu had mentioned to Cullen last night that he thought something was up.” he shook his head before returning his attention to his friends with a cheery, “So, good trip?”

They fell back into the easy banter of the Hanged Man, Rivaini depositing herself in Fenris’s lap, toying with his hair as she regaled Varric with all the conquests she had made from the tavern in Kirkwall to Haven. How she’d made several before they’d left Kirkwall much to the disapproval of Carver, who had the unenviable job of soothing Donnic down after she’d been caught on the guard captains desk whilst the others were saying goodbye. She hadn’t looked particularly repentant, as Fenris pointed out how Aveline would have her hide when they returned. 

Hawke appeared briefly, before retreating back into the cabin laden with food. The two women were introduced to the delights of the shower unit and vanished for long enough that Varric had to restrain the brooding elf from rescuing them from the hot waterfall. When Merrill returned without the dusky pirate, in fits of giggles and looking as if she had been steamed alive, he was allowed to investigate and then was missing for longer again.

Several people came into the camp area, vanishing quickly afterwards, so much so that the Kirkwall trio were growing more and more concerned with the sheer number of people popping in, looking around and then disappearing off with increasing frequency that it had quickly shifted into highly suspicious behaviour.

It came to a head when Cullen appeared, chatting animatedly with two well armed, weary looking men. Quickly followed by a fraught Josephine, and a retinue of scared looking assistants who scurried with clipboards, not looking up at any of the occupants of the area. She grabbed at Cullen’s arm, her voice whispering loudly into his ear, before shrilling vehemently as he just smiled casually back at her.

“It’s not funny, they’ve gone missing!” the muted conversations of the camp all ground to a halt, as she found herself the centre of attention of everyone who had started to gather for the evening meal.

“They haven’t gone missing, they will be back, now if you will take a deep breath and calm down for a mo-” she turned bright red at him, her clipboard trembling under white knuckles.

“No one knows where they are, we always know where they are, they are always here, somewhere with someone, and no one knows where they are, I’ve been trying to find them so we can prepare them for our guests-” 

“Yes, well the guests are now all here, and they need to eat and rest,” his tone was gentle as he moved her slightly to the side, indicating to the two men to go and sit down, “And we do know where they are, I promise you Josephine”

They were interrupted by the Couple sauntering down the path from the village, being followed by an apoplectic Chancellor, a traumatised Cassandra and a very uncomfortable Solas, who seemed to have been swept up in the wake of their path involuntarily.

“See, here they are, alls well, now if you want to take a moment and compose yourself,” the conversations had semi resumed as the men had joined the others at the fireside, with the tension easing at the return of the pair, Josephine choosing to turn away for a moment, fingers brushing down her dress as the Chancellor stormed past.

“They are banned, banned from the Chantry! What kind of operation are you running here?!?” The Chancellor was spitting with rage, which only proved to encourage filthy grins from the small female and an overly loud relaxed groan from the male.

“Oh no dear, whatever will we do?”

“I’m sure it won’t please my parents when we tell them we’ve been banned from a church, although I guess we were pretty much banned before, considering the reception we were given when we were discovered…”

“Oooh, dare me to tell them why,” The Chancellor went to throttle the dwarf at her flippant tone, only to find himself lifted up in the air by the Qunari’s arms.

“Say the word dear, and I will happily snap his neck, and just so we are clear, I will never dare you to do that, you would in a heartbeat over a Christmas get together just to see how everyone would react, and I can tell you how it will go down, they would be traumatised, scandalised and then someone would try and outdo the story and it will end badly,” he remained relatively jovial, not breaking a sweat as the Chancellor struggled in his grasp.

“Let him go, we did just defile his church after all, and probably gave him enough spank bank material to last until he pops it. Why ruin such a pleasant experience by having to dig a hole at the end of it, and it was an utterly wonderful experience.” she tilted her head up, forcing him to bend down to kiss her, exposing his heavily marked up back for the camp to see.

“Technically it wasn’t the church part, just the underneath the church part, but I concede your point, you are as ever Vicky of the Truth, however Chancellor, I suggest you stay out of our way, and if you ever attempt to touch my wife without her approval again, I will take great pleasure in snapping every single bone in your body into two.” There was an awkward silence as the pair of them stared at the Chancellor with a promise that the statement was not an idle threat, before it was broken by Cullen’s jovial tone.

“See Josie, they weren’t missing at all, in fact it would appear they were beneath you the whole time.” 

“In fairness, we were in the war room as well at one point, in the vestibule bit, on a desk near the door, oh, you might want to check on the state of the wardrobes in the bed chamber too, but mainly we utilised the dungeons, very sturdy those, could use a couple of improvements though to make it a more ten out of ten experience, but as we have now been banned, it’ll be no skin off our noses if you don’t. Rylen said it wouldn’t be too much effort to hollow out some of the rock face to make a nice big room if we wanted the dank stoney feel.” this last part she directed to her husband with a cheeky wink, who tilted his head in pretend consideration, having released his prey with a small throw that had the Chancellor landing the other side of Cassandra and Solas.

“I thought we were just going to use the cabin?”

“But we have guests staying in the cabin, we can’t just ask them to vacate whenever we feel the need, it’s hardly good hosting behaviour. I mean, it might be what they are used to mind, being asked to stay to help out and then being told in no uncertain terms that they are no longer welcome when the mood changes…” He shot her a benign look before continuing on.

“You just want to watch the lovely helpers get all half naked again, see I knew you weren’t being this industrious with projects to enable a better society love, you just wanted to letch over good looking specimens sweating at your command,” He tugged on a strand of her hair that had escaped from the tight bun she kept the long length of brown in.

“You’re forgetting my inability to be bored, but surely it can be for multiple reasons, being that we are complex individuals with wants and needs, stuck in a place where we are being told to literally waste time until we are pointed in a direction to do whatever random bullshit they dream up for us? However, a shower is needed, you smell like sex, and I smell divine, but Cassandra looks like she’ll pass out if I take advantage of the situation, and Solas has the look of a reluctant horn,” to which the mage spluttered, cheeks turning pink at the accusation.

“I can’t completely deny it, I much prefer the scent of you to me, and my nose I would hazard a guess is far more… sensitive than that tiny little thing you are wearing,” he dropped a wet lick on it, causing her to rear back in playful outrage, before dragging him off, successfully ignoring Josephine’s attempts to talk to them.

“You know if you’d asked absolutely anyone here, we could have told you where they were,” Cullen murmured in her ear, before abandoning her to rejoin the men who he’d been conversing with before her interruption, Solas taking advantage of the distraction to skirt past the women to hide next to Varric.

They didn’t linger too long, Cassandra pulling Josephine back towards the village urgently, barking at the anxious looking assistants who had hovered at the camp edge, to follow, with the decision to remain where there was delicious smelling food, or to leave and help clean every surface in the Chantry a particularly easy one until threatened with the full extent of Cassandra’s wrath.

The Couple reappeared sooner than some expected, having not gone to continue their escapades as a few bets had been made, instead reappearing looking highly pleased with themselves, glowing with the heat of satisfaction, the Qunari sporting a towel wrapped around his waist, clearly showing off the numerous bites, scratches and marks. Whilst the female of the pair, had managed to pilfer a cotton shift that danced just the right side of cover, clinging to her damp flesh in a way that suggested a much looser fit when dry.

Vicky was handed a bowl by Adaar, who then settled between her legs, her shift at guarding the cabin finally over, with Charter having taken her place until the inhabitants left, positioned just so that she could pull faces at them across the fire, the three dab hands at unspoken communication. Rylen had plopped himself down between the couple, playfully chastising them about sacrilege as he spread a thick ointment over Lu’s horns that Adaar had handed over to him, after Lu had started to complain about itching. Cullen was soon tugged into a similar position as Adaar, between Lu’s legs, while he gently traced a black talon along the shell of his ear, before whispering something that had Cullen flushing with momentary embarrassment. Causing his lady wife to shoot him a curious look, before returning to eating, and bumping Rylen with her elbow as he knocked into her, with his actions.

“So, uh, it’s been brought to my attention that I may be the only one currently, who well, uh, who knows everyone here.” He scratched the back of his neck, coughing with embarrassment before glancing up at the pair of them apologetically, receiving a light tap on the nose in response. As he’d begun to speak, the cabin door had quietly opened and two figures slipped out standing uneasily at the edge, looking ready to bolt back into the safety of the structure.

“I mean, I can guess who most of them are,” she waved her fork at the Kirkwall lot, “It’s not like they all look the same, I mean maybe if they were all humans, because you know, they all do look the same,” she waggled her eyebrows at the eclectic group around them, all of them very different, “And these two were due to turn up today too,” she took a bite, chewing as she thought for a moment, “Well one of them was, I could give a good guess as to who the other happens to be, I was always good at that kind of thing with crime shows, but I think we’d rather if you played mother.”

“I know who everyone is,” Hawke piped up from the door, “And so does he,” he nudged Anders lightly in the side, who just glared back.

“Not helping for everyone else who doesn’t though Hawke,” Varric drawled at him, gesturing to Cullen to continue as the two at the door looked as if they were going to start to bicker.

“Easiest way to do it, stick your hand up when your name is announced I guess?” He looked up at Lu for reassurance, who merely shrugged down at him, his hand moving to rest against the back of his neck. “Ok, so we have Garrett Hawke, aka the Champion of Kirkwall, the current Viscount of Kirkwall? He’s the one who looks like a cat dragged him in backwards through a hedge, and still sporting his distinct warpaint.” There was a wink from Hawke at this, whilst Anders tried to brush down the wild mop of hair, much to the amusement of some.

“Merrill, who is here hopefully to aid Solas,” they both raised a hand, the latter with some reluctance.

“Isabela, Captain Isabela, my apologies, it’s been a while,” “Admiral” “Sorry, Admiral Isabela,” She lifted herself up into a cheeky curtsey before depositing herself over Varric having corrected Cullen of her newly claimed rank.

“Fenris,” the tattooed elf nodded, staring into the fire, “And, well, yes lets move on, we have Prince Alistair, heir apparent,” which was met with a groan as the tall strawberry blonde nodded with almost as much reluctance as Solas had, “Duncan, Warden Commander of Ferelden,” The older male dipped his head with more grace than his seat mate.

“You know he’s safe here right, you can say his name, he won’t burst into flames, because if anyone is going to burst into flames this close to Haven we all know whose top of that list,” she gently teased Cullen, gesturing at the two nervous men to sit down, narrowing her gaze until they did as bid.

“Anders, Warden and Spirit Healer,” to his credit he lifted his hand up and waited.

“And last but by no means least, Rylen my second in command, Adaar who does have a first name but has threatened us not to use it on pain of death, and Leliana’s best, Charter.” He was blocked from Adaar’s fist by Lu’s leg.

“I’m Lu, and this is my lovely lady wife Vicky, it would be a pleasure to meet you all under normal circumstances, no it is a pleasure to do so now, you are all heroes in your own ways,” he offered them all an easy smile, reaching round Rylen to prod his wife who had lost the train of the greetings, having decided to plait Adaar’s hair instead.

“Yes, sorry, truly wonderful, finer people have we never met and all that, tomorrow though it’ll be all war council shit, I wonder if we’ll be allowed back, or it could be a handy excuse not to have to spend hours of perfectly good daylight arguing about things that can be told to us in less than a breath at the end of it?” 

“Maybe instead of skipping out altogether on our responsibilities, the war council could be moved to outside of the Chantry? I think that even we would be pushing it to go back tomorrow, even with armed guards and our pretty arms as protection.”

“Probably pushing it, also do you really want us to spend any more time than we have to in that cursed room? It’s barely got any light never mind ventilation, and there is a lot of us, it’ll be humming to high heaven in minutes, no offence,” she grinned at them, with a cheeky gleam in her eye.

“You were hardly complaining when you were stood in the middle of the pit, surrounded by sweating specimens of godliness, in fact you seemed to be enjoying every moment when we came to rescue you…” 

“Bit of a difference though, something nice and honest about hard work being done in the light of the sun, the way the droplets roll down…” 

“You were drooling, as you look like you are starting to now…” Charter gently propped up her mouth with a finger, dabbing at the invisible drool with a grin.

“We could always move it to here,” Cullen received a hair ruffle for that, and an eye roll from Vicky who had become quite taken with the idea of avoiding the meeting altogether.

“You just don’t want to see what happens when someone tries to enforce the ban tomorrow after we’ve been forced to attend is all,” he grinned at her choice of words, “Maybe we could go for having a sauna based war council?” she leaned far enough back that she could just spot the edge of the sauna around the side of the cabin, with only Adaar keeping her from flashing everyone sat opposite.

“You think putting people in the sauna where it’s already hot is going to make it easier, both temper wise and well… what was it you said about ventilation,” there was an edge of disbelief in Lu’s tone as he used a hand to help her back upright from her sprawled position.

“Nothing is going to make the shit show tomorrow any easier, and we all know it, but maybe, just maybe, being able to sweat it out might leave everyone feeling a little bit less tense?”

“Cass will have kittens if we have sex in front of everyone tomorrow, because thats what you will allude to happening..”

“Cass has kittens every time she thinks she’s seen us having sex, I think every time she closes her eyes she sees it, and believe me, whilst you have the stamina of a bull, a very well proportioned hearty, sexy…” she trailed off as Charter wiped the corner of her mouth again with a low snicker.

“Uh, well you have a point about that,” the couple shared a heavy look, the hint of a promise causing them both to shift ever so minutely.

“I get three for that,” her voice had dropped to a more throaty tone, her tongue darting out to lap at the accosting finger.

“You get no points,” his eyes had dilated at her cheek.

“Four points,” teeth nipping down on the fleshy pad while she stared at him, daring.

“Minus one point,” his talons started to scrape into Cullen’s scalp leaving the man yelping at the sensation.

“Two points,” her teeth now wrapped neatly around the second knuckle, white and sharp, before dragging back down, Charter letting out a soft whine as she was used to torment Lu.

“One point, you get one point…” Rylen was pushed forward as Lu lent across where he had been sitting, offering up his lips to her for a promise of things to come.

They continued to good naturedly bicker and banter for the rest of the evening, constantly tormenting each other and using those around them to aid as they got too close to the whirlpool of sexual tension that ebbed and flowed as the stars appeared, until they finally fell asleep, coiled around each other in a happy mess of contentment. Lu was woken by Hawke sheepishly offering to retreat from the cabin, shaking his head cheerfully at the kind offer, more than happy to stay beneath the moonlight with his wife. The two Grey Warden’s also declined the use of the cabin, with the Kirkwall crew retreating back into it’s shelter still not quite trusting the ambivalence to their presence.

The couple were disturbed once more in the early hours as a scout came to rouse the Commander, whispering that the Chancellor had been caught sending a dangerous missive to Val Royeaux, to which the scout was dismissed by the somewhat sleepy dwarf and Cullen instructed to go back to sleep, and that he should let the Spymistress deal with it, as it was her job and not his, and she wasn’t prepared to get up to chase him back to bed when he got caught up in things that he was not responsible for.

She was grumpy when her pillow moved again, this time removing her completely from it’s comfortable position, so much so she scolded him for a good five minutes until he kissed her before disappearing off to relieve himself. It took much coaxing from her favourite elf to consider smiling at anyone, glaring at her traitor husband most of all, when he hadn’t returned to be her bed again, instead choosing to get ready for the day. She had treated it as a personal affront. 

It had taken all of Charter’s skills as an expert agent to get her up and dressed, forcing food and drink into her mitts, after pushing her under the heady flow of the shower so that she became less of an ogre and more of a person. Lu had rewarded the slight elf with a bone cracking hug as Vicky was finally able to look at him without trying to flay him alive with her eyes.

“You deserve a rise, my lady Charter, you are truly a treasure and a master craftsman,” she’d smirked at him, pleased with the hug and praise that he heaped on her. They had played together, and she’d enjoyed every second of it, there was a happy uncomplicated nature to the dealings, and she had been happy to repay the kindness even if it had meant bearding the lion. At least she knew that the lion only bit if asked, and it had been worth it in the end.

There had been a debate, and then a slanging match, and then words about the location for the discussions, before it was agreed that in no way was it a good plan to take the Couple back into the Chantry, or within Haven’s walls at all. The sauna idea was nixed from the beginning by Josephine in concern for the safety of the map and papers, even as Vicky had started to extol the benefits of saunas in general as her husband looked on snickering as she refused to take the matter seriously.

Vicky had then gone on to suggest when Leliana had brought up security concerns, that they could move the war table to the middle of the lake, that way it would be obvious to see anyone who had a mind to try and listen. Lu had exchanged shrugs with Cullen as they tried to work out if she was actually serious, or just being ridiculous to troll the others.

The cabin was deemed too small for all of them to fit, especially with the table, and the matter of ventilation was brought up, with a pointed long sniff at the taller warriors who admittedly carried a more musky scent from the slighter rogues and mages. The Tavern was in Haven itself, and as such was ruled out for not being safe to take the troublesome pair too, also security issues as to who could hear what in a village that held little loyalty to the Inquisition as it stood. 

The training field was abandoned immediately as Cullen didn’t believe they could safely assume that they could empty all of the tents surrounding it, and to try and organise that many recruits into other duties at the drop of a hat would be challenging and potentially fruitless.

Cassandra had not quite ranted, but had made pointed comments about the way manners and politeness could have left them with a situation where the Couple would have been allowed into the Chantry building, and if they had been a little less… Them, then this whole debate would have been pointless, which then kicked off into another loud discussion between Adaar and Cassandra about how Cassandra didn’t respect their right to a peaceful protest, with a very smugly serene Vicky making supportive noises as Lu looked confused by the argument that Adaar was trying to make.

In the end the whole situation was resolved when Rylen appeared with the large table, and a group of scouts, plonking it over the top of the firepit, having been sent by a whispering Cullen after the lake idea had been raised. As it arrived, the area cleared, the lingering residents diverting off to give the relatively large group some privacy now that the bickering had ceased, with the three amigos of Rylen, Adaar and Charter all being waved to sit down as they each tried to sneak off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I lied, I carried on reading, because that's what I do. But it's ok, Chapter 4 and 5 were previously just one chapter, so I split it up.


	5. Serious business time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where plot progression actually happens, a bit darker to reflect the crap they have to go and do, but it's ok because they take it as seriously as they should do.

A round of much more formal introductions, with Charter being handed a board, paper and quill to take minutes alongside Josephine and Varric. Leliana had informed them without a jot of shame, that she didn’t trust any of them not to get distracted at some point, and that she wanted a true and factual account to be available afterwards. Alistair had asked whether a Warden set would be needed too, before shutting up as Duncan suggested that he would be the one to do so if he doubted their allies that much.

There had been a slight growl from Cassandra as Anders had been introduced, however he had be positioned between the Wardens and the Kirkwall crew, all of whom had sent warning looks at the act of aggression. Her ire though, was mainly directed at the Couple, one of whom looked wilfully serene, the other merely cheerful. 

There was a recap of the events from the stabilising of the Breach, which led to soft whispers between the two Warden’s and a look of contemplation from Fenris. Isabela excused herself, deciding that she hadn’t anything of importance to offer, and had tried to pull the elven warrior with her, wrinkling her nose as he remained.

Merrill had gone into raptures over the information, agreeing with Solas that the god was almost certainly Fen’Harel, and she was able to give them a relatively concise breakdown of the myth, promising to write up a more detailed account afterwards when she had time to fact check with the other Elven mage.

Hawke explained what he knew about Corypheus, about the Warden prison, which had the two Ferelden Wardens uneasy to their lack of knowledge of the goings on in the Free Marches. Which led into a discussion at how dead he had actually been when they left his corpse, with all those involved claiming that there had been no sign of life at all, which had only caused more upset as the rumblings of archdemon was quietly hissed under Alistair’s breath, causing Anders to pale more so than he had at being glared at by Cassandra. 

The mention of the blood wards had sparked further ruffling of feathers, with varying reactions to blood magic, blood mages, mages in general, Wardens, how the wardens were political when it suited them, how threats were kept locked up, which split down party lines, as the diverse group surged with cross loyalties and temperaments. All the while there was a soft clacking of needles as the dwarf had picked up her large blanket, using the arguing time to continue knitting.

Cassandra had rounded on her after a ball of yarn flew out of the small bag and onto the map, after she’d tugged harder than normal to get it to unravel. It had been enough to still the arguing however, as there was a collective stopping of breath as Cassandra half growled.

“Do you take any of this seriously? Do you take anything seriously? Is this just a game, are we here for your amusement?” she was greeted with a fairly placid smile, and then more worryingly the object of her ire handed the knitting over to her husband, stood up, moved to Cassandra’s side, took her by the hand and led her away out of earshot.

The ceasefire of accusations continued as they looked at Lu, who had been scribbling on a bit of paper. 

“They’ll be fine, might want to wait a bit though, maybe get a drink, toilet break even. Adaar, be a pet and go get some of that cake she made me hide up in the rafters?”

They’d managed to demolish four loaves by the time the two women returned, one returning to her place, picking up her knitting and resuming, whilst the other sat next to her looking pale but calm, accepting the piece of cake handed to her with a small murmur of thanks. Nothing further was said, even as the recalcitrant ball flew free once more.

Alistair slapped Duncan on the arm, like an excited puppy, a look of clarity appearing on his face, “They were talking about Flemeth, Flemeth rescued us from the top of the tower after it was overrun by darkspawn, after the whole mess on the battlefield, you know when…” he trailed off, sharing a pointed glance with his Commander.

“Flemeth came to us as well, well I say us, I mean after you escorted us through to safety, we were about to be overrun again when Flemeth turned up and rescued us, and in exchange all we had to do was uh… not perform a magical ritual that we totally didn’t do,” Hawke blanched as Cassandra stared in horror at them, whilst Varric interrupted before she could explode again.

“These were the Warden’s that saved you on the way from Lothering, Hawke?” the question was met with a look of relief at the change of direction.

“Well, it wasn’t just us two,” Alistair looked at Duncan with an odd expression, “Brosca was there, so were… others. Morrigan was even there, not that you could call Morrigan helpful in any way shape or form, she probably flew ahead and warned the darkspawn where we would be just to -” he cut off as Duncan narrowed his eyes.

“We owe you so much for that day, you saved Wesley, you saved us, we would have been killed before we got out of sight of the main drag without you,” it was met with a somewhat mournful acceptance of thanks.

“Flemeth though is definitely dead, we killed her, even looted her corpse - didn’t Brosca end up wearing some of her after we visited Wade’s Emporium?”

“Considering we killed Corypheus, who wants to be a god by all accounts and he according the couple still lives, maybe killing an actual god who had Hawke carry out a- sorry requested Hawke to carry out a magical ritual which he definitely didn’t do - means that maybe she is about as dead as he is?”

“Mythal Fen’Harel was close to Mythal, some don’t even believe he killed her but he reacted when she was killed,” Merrill bounced up and down, “If Flemeth is the god who rescued you, and that god is the one that Fen’Harel was upset over, it makes sense that it’s Mythal, and if that’s true, then she’s still alive! We should let everyone know, they will be so happy, we have two gods and they are both alive and well, well, Mythal is well, maybe we should just share the news about Mythal if Fen’Harel caused the breach?” there was a brief pause, “I’ve met Mythal!” 

“There are no missing Warden’s in Ferelden, none that we can’t account for at least, but we haven’t heard anything recently from Orlais, nor anything remotely of use from the Free Marches either it would seem. Weisshaupt has been.. Slow at responding to messages.” Duncan offered up with a world weary sigh, “After the Blight, when Ferelden became independent, and Alistair was given Amaranthine which is where we have our main base, we tried to keep some semblance of kinship with the rest of the Order throughout Thedas, tried being the operative word.”

“They didn’t even attempt to help, even when it seemed like we were all but lost,” Alistair spat, Duncan patting him on the arm in a rough attempt of comfort, “But they were the first to demand access to the Archdemon once it was dead, not even asking for the names of the fallen, not waiting for the fires to be put out before wanting their precious treasure.” He stood up abruptly and stalked away, Duncan watching with a pained expression.

“There is something we need to share,” he looked at Hawke, the couple distinctly not in his eye line, “Everyone in our order feels the call of the deep roads, everyone. It’s why Senior Warden Brosca isn’t here now, and why Alistair is. The younger wardens are being watched carefully, they will come to no harm that I am happy to promise you. If it had just been the Senior Warden’s we would have missed it, but with everyone experiencing it at the same time, we came to the realisation that it was false.

“If what you say about Corypheus is true, which I do not doubt your words, and what has been said about the Wardens being controlled, then it would be amiss to not consider Corypheus as the source of this unrest. We will send word to the different Warden-Commanders and Weisshaupt, though I fear they may not listen. I’ll wait for Alistair to return however, before telling you of our journey.” he dropped his gaze to the bones of the firepit, having aged several decades in the space of the meeting.

“Bethany is fine?” 

“Yes, she is, she was one of the first to mention it to Brosca, and after she did, more came forward. Nothing will happen to them, they would need an army to take Amaranthine even if it was just the two of them there. As soon as we discovered something was wrong, all of the Junior Warden’s were recalled and most of the Seniors. It's better defended at this point than the Palace.”

The knitting was handed over to Cassandra, with the small dwarf disappearing off again, food appearing in her absence, with the mood far more subdued at the new information shared. Lu followed after a short while, gently pushing Cullen back down as he tried to follow.

He found the missing pair sat at the frozen dock, his wife perched on a post skipping stones across the icy surface of the lake, Alistair turning his Warden’s badge between his fingers. He went and stood in front of her, standing on the ground so she could get a clear view of the lake as another stone appeared in her hand and then was promptly launched so it skittered across the ice sending up little clouds of shavings as she made appropriate noises.

“It’s fine, to miss the fallen that is, no shame in it,” he could rely on her to break the silence eventually, without stepping on an emotional mine immediately.

“No one really talks about them,” Alistair ducked his head at the gentle pat on his leg, “There’s a memorial to all those who we lost, and their names are there, just in a list, with everyone else” the pair exchanged a slightly puzzled glance, with Lu sending her a look to continue to talk for the pair of them.

“You think they would have cared?” It was a softly asked question, the words chosen carefully.

“They deserve to be remembered,” 

“You remember,” 

“Not just me, Duncan, Brosca to a lesser extent, the other Seniors who survived Ostagar, and the family does, the family remembers,” 

“So what you are saying is, they are remembered.” it was a gentle teasing of the admission from him, done with a deft touch that Lu struggled to manage.

It was met with a sigh, “It just doesn’t feel right though, they talk about the Blight and it’s heroes and it’s as if they were never there. The history books talk about all of us, even our blasted campfire conversations. They can talk about how blasted Barkspawn left dead offerings in Morrigan’s tent, but not how the saved the king and half a battalion from being wiped out. Or how much Wynne knew about ale, but not how they recaptured the circle while Brosca had managed to get us lost.

“They know all of the names Shale had for the rest of us, but not how they were the best of us,” he collapsed in on himself, “They deserve more, even if they didn’t want it, didn’t need it,” they pulled him into a hug, wrapping him up tightly between them as he shuddered in unspilt emotion, “I miss them,”

They exchanged glances above his head, with Lu disengaging as Alistair started to rally. “You two stay here, Duncan can fill them in on your journey, and I’m far less likely to upset anyone than you my love,” he kissed her lightly on the lips, “You can show her how to really skip stones, none of this travesty that she’s undertaking.” He made to leave, stopping as Alistair slid down onto the ice, skidding slightly before straightening himself out.

“Thank you both, for your kindness, but I should return, the part Duncan has mentioned is best explained from the Crown,” he bowed before them, before offering his hand out, “My Lady,” to which she winked at Lu.

“See, how come you never do this?” as she took the proffered hand, hopping down to stand in between them, dodging as her husband went to nip at her ear, her stomach growling loudly in the quiet still of the ice, “Hey, they better of left some food, I did notice they ate the better cakes first earlier, I was looking forward to the lemon. I bet Solas stole double of that one, he thinks I don’t notice him stealing my cakes, but he does, I know he does, he can’t fool me,” she started to good naturedly grumble as she led them back to the others.

Adaar had swiped her a platter of her favourites, which earnt her an enthusiastic kiss, with Charter pouting prettily at the declaration of favouritism. It didn’t take long however for them to settle back down, lighter than before they’d left, ready for the next round of bad news that was sure to follow, the needles handed back as soon as she’d stopped eating.

“Redcliffe had fallen to Tevinter when we arrived,” Alistair began as soon as he’d finished eating, staring at the floor, “We have it back, it wasn’t pretty though, the mages had been convinced that they would be slaughtered and the former Warden, former First Enchanter Fiona was being tortured with the end goal of signing them over as indentured servants.

“We were able to rescue them, we’ve left Arl Teagan with almost all of the troops we brought up from Denerim, that the King had planned to be used to bring stability to the area, although, in a way they are being used for such a purpose. Redcliffe is currently armed to the teeth with mages, the Crowns own guards and two Tevinter Mages who had been in the middle of trying to rescue the situation on our arrival. There was talk of time magic being used, or going to be used, or perhaps it was and we are unaware due to it being used, and a plot most foul involving Tranquil. 

“Teagan has promised to send a copy of all notes over as soon as they have been transcribed, as there were indications that the Tranquil dead could be used to seek out mystical objects, it was enough to turn the stomach. The Cross Roads has a small number of troops to guard it, holding out against the worst, but there is widespread unrest throughout the area, bandits, rebel mages, rogue templars, rifts every time you turn a blasted corner, oh and smugglers. It’s madness, there were even rumours of a high dragon. We can update the map with the locations we are aware of, and those of the rumours we believe to be more reliable.”

Hawke waited for Alistair to finish speaking, letting the air settle before following him on. “There is Tevinter based activity along the Storm Coast, lots of wrecks too. We managed to avoid a giant, and a Dragon. There are the remains of what looks like a small hamlet, they couldn’t have been dead more than half a day as we arrived. Raided for sure, no one left alive from what we could make out. And then as we travelled further south, Crestwood, an absolute shit show, we weren’t sure of our welcome so dodged the Warden activity,” Duncan looked at him with confusion.

“There shouldn’t have been any Warden’s in Crestwood.”

“I’m sorry to say that we saw at least five different small groups, Anders was fairly sure they weren’t wearing the Ferelden colours though, so we opted for caution. Something though is definitely up in the area, there were none at all at the Storm Coast.”

“Well no one saw any Wardens at the Temple either, and yet there were according to the couple, Wardens that were definitely not Alistair ones.” the Warden Commander's expression turning graver as Varric butted in again, backing up Hawkes claims.

“Other than the wardens, bandits, undead, lots of water, the town looks like it’s ready to crumble under the weight of its own -” 

“Sorrow, guilt, sadness” Merrill quietly added, the words cutting across Hawkes like a hot knife.

“Yeah, that, we killed what we could, but the undead seem to be a never ending problem. Oh and there are more rifts spewing out more demons, just to make matters that bit better,” he moved across to the table, a hand lingering in the middle, “We’ll fill in what we know here,”

“Chancellor Roderick has sent word to Val Royeaux denouncing us,” met with a snicker and a soft no shit, “Yes well, it’s more the claims of demonic influence that have us concerned. I doubt that we will get any support from the Chantry from here on out, or Orlais now that we have the Crown Prince of Ferelden here as an emissary.” there were more snickers from the female of the couple. “We have received word that there may be an in however with the Chantry, a Reverend Mother named Giselle who had been waylaid at the Cross Roads so didn’t make it to the Conclave. It is believed of all of the remaining higher level clerics, she might be amenable to offering us some sort of support, to perhaps unravel the current situation we find ourselves in. If, if we can get her on our side, it might make getting approval from Orlais easier.” Leliana spoke plainly, keeping an eye on Lu who appeared more receptive to the suggestion.

“If we even want approval from Orlais,” it wasn’t entirely clear who muttered that outloud, though Alistair wasn’t looking up from the ground.

“There is also a rumour of another Warden, not far from the Cross Roads in the Hinterlands,” another shaking of head from Duncan, “Perhaps the rumour is wrong, but one of the refugees has reported them to be named Blackwall,”

“Free Marches then, although why he’s out there remains to be seen”

“We have formally had a request from the Mayor of Crestwood for help, and The Fallow Mire although has an Avvar presence, who are keeping currently to deeper in the swampland, so whilst the activity is unusual it’s nothing that perhaps currently should be worried about.”

“And here I was only yesterday complaining of being bored, well thank you everyone. If the Fallow Mire is stable and not actually needing any attention as claimed, it makes more sense to hit the Hinterlands, head up through Crestwood, then finish up at the Storm Coast, we can follow the coastline round and return to Haven once we’ve secured the areas. Any issues with this as a plan?” She addressed her husband, having moved over to the map, pointing at each area with the tip of her needle.

“Seems reasonable enough to me,” 

“Well then, shall we, better get an early night in, so, lovely to meet you all, adieu, bon nuit, so long, farewell, auf wiedersehen goodnight,” She did a little bow that skirted being respectful, but was most likely mocking, moving to head deeper into the trees with Lu, stopping as they were called back.

“Just like that? We’ll be gone for months?” there was a moment of confusion, as they turned and stared.

“We will be, that's true, it’s why we are heading for a good night's sleep? You have scouts already in the field, there are literally little pink pins showing us where, so it’s not like we can’t check in with them for updates, and Leliana no doubt already has smaller maps with the stuff on already, because she’s like that, with her millions of scraps of random papers and little sketches, it’ll be fine. We can write, and even if we manage to lose the ability, you’ve seen my ability to draw, there will be no issues.”

“You surely aren’t suggesting you go alone?” Solas stared at them, the others starting to make noises of disagreement,

“Well hands up who has the pretty markings to close the rifts,” she ducked behind her much larger husband at the resulting outcry.

“It’s not just rifts out there, we’ve just gone through all the problems that aren’t rifts, the rifts are just the tip of the problem,” 

“You’ve all done really well so far, let us do our part now. Honestly, do you think we are helpless babes? This was what we signed up for, we agreed to go out and sort out the shit, it’s literally the only reason we haven’t gone stark raving mad so far.” her tone was disparaging at the stubborn look appearing on Cassandra’s face.

“We didn’t travel all this way to be left to turn around to go straight back home again,” She growled at the glowing elf who butted into the debate.

“You can stay, look it’s very nice here, the sauna is wonderful, highest craftsmanship went into it, brilliant company, very soothing. It’ll do you the world of good, like a spa retreat, but without being made to eat grass or face judgment.” Lu bent down and whispered something in her ear that had her growling again, “Right, apparently I’m not allowed” she shot him a dirty look, “To say you can’t come, even though I really don’t see the need to make anyone come with us.” He whispered something else that made her spin round and whisper back in a short manner, before fixing her face into a very bland smile.

“Sorry, what I meant to ask was who would like to come with us on a non stop trip around Northern Ferelden, where the aim is to solve every little problem we come across no matter how ridiculous, because heaven forbid we don’t milk someones prize cow for them?” Only three people remained seated as she asked.

“Seriously? For fucks sake,” she span round and pulled Lu behind a tree, where she proceeded to rant with feet stamping and arm waving for an impressively large amount of time without drawing breath. When she was finished he merely kissed her on the forehead before guiding them back to the table.

“So it’s been decided that we can’t stop you coming,” he nudged her gently, “I mean, we are grateful for your offers - seriously I will smack you, look yes, come” She pasted a smile on her face, “So, we won’t be leaving tomorrow after all, because it will take time to organise for fifteen of us to travel at one… as opposed - yes alright, it’ll just take more time to organise I’m guessing.”

“Are you planning on taking everyone who wants to go?” Cassandra asked with some apprehension.

“Well as I don’t - I swear Lu, I love you, I really do, but you are getting on my last nerve at this exact moment in time, anyway. Cass, you can do Cullen’s bit right? You are both warriors after all, and no one really will notice the switch, you all seem to be fairly interchangeable,” there was a pause as she didn’t clarify how they were, “And Charter and Rylen barely leave our sides anyway, so really, will they be missed from their current roles? So why bother arguing, Adaar is love, so like a given, I think she’d go into a decline without having us to torment.” she half leered at the Qunari female, “Warden’s seem to go where they like regardless so I wouldn’t put it past them to just follow, the Kirkwall lot wouldn’t last five minutes before following as they seem to want to travel in the direction of trouble like massive idiots, rather than staying out of it. Varric will want to write down the memoirs, because free plot, and Solas has been itching to leave since he arrived.”

“Just think about it, we’ll be done in half the time, we can have two rolling groups of rift closers and another for general dogsbody stuff,” Hawke offered helpfully.

“Oh yes, because needing a frigging cart to take all the blasted supplies we will need, is going to be much quicker than just two of us backpacking.” This time it was Adaar who reached over with a pointed finger to jab her in the ankle, “Look, work out what we need, sort it out and then we can head out as soon as it’s ready, and if you manage to get it done before tomorrow night I’ll even throw in an apology to the Chancellor.” She made to vanish again, visibly stamping her feet as Fenris stopped them again.

“One other thing, can I ask what’s being done to retrieve your memories?” 

“Solas?”

“Yes, well, as they had their memories before the explosion which we are led to presume sent them physically into the Fade, as they were seen leaving it. They have no memory of what happened after leaving the Fade, and in fact it was even stated that a nightmare would take them. It would stand to reason that if it was, and forgive my language “A big twatty spider” that was able to steal the memories, and they knew it was a nightmare demon, that they meant The Nightmare demon. Short of physically going back into the Fade and then finding wherever the memories went, if they haven’t been consumed or destroyed, then I believe that they are gone for all intents and purposes.”

“I mean you could have just said, demon ate them” she muttered softly, dodging more abuse from her husband.

“It’s not exactly a total loss, we know a lot more than if they had only said, “What’s going on here” as she suggested,” Varric pointed out, quick to derail yet another rant, making a show of checking his notes, “I wouldn’t have called Hawke here for that, I wouldn’t have bothered to at all if it wasn’t for the Corypheus thing.”

“We wouldn’t have made our way either, there is enough unrest between the ranks with the Calling, that Redcliffe would have remained lost and the Mages would be under Tevinter control even now.” Alistair interjected quickly.

“We would never have known the source of the power,” The positivity was doing little to combat the rankled mood the smallest of them was feeling.

“Think of how much more knowledge they may have had though,”

“Nothing that was important to that moment though,” Lu squared his shoulders facing down the perceived insult from Leliana, whilst his wife waved her hand at him in dismissal.

“Not worth it dear, I could have left a manuscript with everything that was to happen everywhere in the next six years, and someone would complain that I’d forgotten to note when people sneezed.” there was a tiny flicker of acknowledgement to the comment, that went ignored by the pair who had decided to focus on the table instead.

“Well, how about we see how many places we can leave defiled love?”

“I plan on it, just think with our esteemed company we could access almost anywhere, I bet Redcliffe Castle is ripe for defiling, a Castle will have lots of rooms, and fun places, I bet they even have dungeons…” He scooped her up into his arms, rubbing his nose against her neck as her mood brightened. “Shower, then sauna, let them take the table away so real people can come back?” this time, they were allowed to escape without being pulled back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actually can't speak now. Also I only have two chapters of buffer left. So... but you do get 20k words today so I regret nothing.


	6. Time to leave Haven - High Five!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which it is time to leave Haven, but they spend a while doing so.
> 
> Also there is a small disagreement but as you should never go to bed on a fight #spoilers

She hadn’t been forced to apologise, not that she had been in any doubt about that fact, as it had taken two more days before everything was ready, with multiple maps having been painstakingly marked up with keys and relevant notes. The cart was half filled with travel supplies for the group, with the rest of the space being taken up with aid packages for the Cross Roads and Redcliffe. A squad would be making its way directly to Crestwood with aid to try and help stabilise until the team were able to arrive to clear through properly, as Alistair still had no word through as to the Teyrn’s intentions.

The Marquis had arrived in the middle of preparations, to be whisked into the Chantry with the Crown Prince (a distinction that was made very early on in the introductions from his role as a Warden), the Chancellor and the former hands of the Divine. The Marquis had quickly renounced all claim to the area after being asked prove ownership by the imposing Prince. A signed transcript was sent to Orlais and Denerim, with the Inquisition given Royal Approval to carry out any works needed. Any profits from goods gained from the area were to be split evenly between the Chantry, Inquisition and the Crown which would be assigned for aid work only. An accountant from the Palace would arrive with escort as soon as possible, to ensure the books were balanced. It had been a very fair proposal, signed with gritted teeth by some.

Both Rylen and Cullen had offered resignations after the Chancellor had lept on their request to leave with the group as a way to further discredit the infant Inquisition, Alistair had offered to recruit them immediately into the Royal Guard at double pay with titles, after Duncan had stopped him from conscripting them into the Warden ranks as being entirely unnecessary. They had however, remained within the Inquisition, with Lysette promoted to Cassandra’s second, with Cullen retaining his Commander title.

Isabela had dithered about travelling with them, having spent half of her day luxuriating in the sauna, enjoying the fruits that came with living with the Couple. It had in fact been Duncan, who had tipped the scales into joining them after she had failed at convincing any of the others to stay with her. The Warden-Commander had been lacking in modesty when it came to bathing, and she had spent several hours describing in great detail what she wanted to do with him to Fenris and Varric over cards, before penning some very blue Friend Fiction that she left in his pack.

Merrill had been spending time with Solas, researching the Creators and teasing out information that he had gleaned from the fade, squealing with excitement at each bit of new knowledge to the point where he had started to keep her at a distance when she opened her mouth.

Hawke and Anders kept close to the cabin, continuing to sleep there even after the others had settled outside with everyone else. The terrors from Kirkwall still haunting the former warden, from being truly comfortable in the midst of so many strangers, whilst Hawke was unwilling to leave his partner to suffer alone.

Fenris had been splitting his time between the Kirkwaller and the Wardens, with his time spent with Duncan and Alistair being spent by recounting memories whilst keeping half an eye on the couple whenever they were nearby. It had gotten almost to the point that they were getting a complex, with Vicky poking her tongue out when she caught them staring.

Charter had been raked over the coals by the Nightingale, after standing up to leave on the mission, she’d had to spend a sleepless day and a half being randomly questions and prodded, until she was given permission to act as liaison between the Haven based Inquisition and the group. She was also reasonably sure that the lack of anything but questions had been down to the couple, as after the first hour of her interrogation, the Nightingale had been summoned away, and on her return had looked peeved, which for her boss, meant massively upset. Further proof had been when on being released, Adaar had been waiting, offering her companionship and not a small amount of support until she was back within the cabin area, and able to rest.

There had been upset after, between the couple, too soon to Charter’s return to have no paid a small part in the blow up, as the large blanket had been completed. Not that the fight had been about the blanket, or what had happened to it, which had in fact been handed over to Alistair with a pat on his head. No the upset had been caused when she had pulled out a bag of needles and other notions, which had been met with a slightly narrowed glance from her husband. When half a sack of skeins of wool appeared in various colours, both parties had gained a stubborn look.

“No, just no, you won’t have time,”

“It’s not up for debate,” 

“That’s correct, because we are not dragging round a sheep just in case you decide you want to knit on the fly. It’s not like you can knit and walk, knit and eat or even knit and sleep, and you were the one grousing about how you wanted to do it as quickly as possible so spending extra time just for you to knit? No, it’s not happening”

“You know I will happily knit when we break, and anyway, its still not up for debate,”

“There is no chance you can use up all of that wool,” they had gone from stubborn to positively mulish, squaring off against each other, neither preparing to give way.

“Watch me.” the mood had shifted, the few that had remained as they’d started to disagree scattering as the temperature plummeted.

“You don’t even have any of your books here, it’s not like you have lots of projects that are waiting for you to undertake.”

“They have patterns here, and no doubt books if they bother to publish the stuff Varric writes, but I don’t even need written patterns for the basics, I can adequately knit up hats, scarves cushions even, and definitely blankets.” her face was now assuredly set in a mulish position as he threw his hands up in exasperation. “I am bringing them with us.”

“Of course you will, heaven forbid you act with any economy with your hobbies.” 

“Oh yes, my hobbies, I’m sure I am the only one of us who overindulges in my hobbies, paragon of self control that you are.”

“Look, I didn’t say you were, but how have you even managed to get so much when you never leave the camp. Sweet talk the others into supplying you with more crap to cart around with us?”

“I haven’t manipulated anyone into doing anything, I mentioned I was looking to knit, I didn’t ask for anything, but I’m not going to deny that I was happy to receive them, it gives me something to do with my hands when there is nothing else to do.”

“You think that I’m not over the whole thing too? I can’t exactly get my laptop out, can I?”

“I apologised, I apologise, I will apologise, but it’s not as if it’s not happened before, and we got through that, so we’ll just bunker down and get through this one, then we can go back to the nice short ones again.”

“Until we hit another long one again, what next? We end up in Skyrim? Or Fallout, or maybe we can start off at the beginning of Harry Potter and end up having to do the whole damn thing because we can’t leave until it’s finished?”

“What do you want me to say? I have apologised, repeatedly,” 

“I just want to wake up, next to you, George squeaking in my face, the weebs weebing at you as you go downstairs, and we have a normal day, thats all I want.”

They stared at each other, both defeated under the weight of his words, “We will, we always do, we wake up”

“Do you not worry, that all this time we lose in our dreams, that it ages us? Ages us beyond our bodies?” they were no longer shouting, no longer angry, just quiet, sad, weighted words that damaged.

“I have decades on you then.” he reached out to brush her cheek, flinching as she moved back out of range, suspiciously blank faced.

“I’m sorry.”

“I - yeah, I know. Maybe go do some male bonding tonight, get some space, play Chess or card games they like, might help you feel a bit less cut off from normalcy.” he took a step forward, kneeling so he could meet her eyes.

“It’s just, it’s just different this time, even the longer ones, you know the plots inside out and turned around, but this one, we have nothing. No skipping to the end of a puzzle because you have the answer. You know how I love surprises…” She offered him a sad smile, taking a step forward so that they were pressed against each other, his face resting on her chest.

“I know, and I knew this one too, but all my memories of this world were seemingly taken, and I don’t think we will get them back if we believe the cranky elf. So we are stuck doing this without the cheat sheet. But we will get through it, you know this, when have we not? No matter what happens, we will get to the end, wake up and Narnia style, we’ve missed nothing.”

“We could just snuggle tonight, if you want? We could even kick them out of the cabin and have some us time without anyone else.” he wrapped his arms around her, gently squeezing until she let out a contented little sigh, relaxing into his grip.

“Nah, I was planning on having some alone time, before we have to travel with a city of well meaning idiots,” he snorted at that, and left her, after checking several times that she was sure that she really did want him to go and bond with the men, over snuggling with her.

Only after she had also left the area, did the others creep back, the mood no longer tinged with anger but a lingering sadness, with individuals evolving into bigger groups of cuddle piles to combat the emotion. Lu had taken her at her word, and had wrangled Cullen, Varric, Solas and Rylen into battles over Chess and card, the others having cried off claiming the need to sleep, as it had threatened to spill over into the very early hours after the first few closely won rounds.

Her ladies came to join her as she perched out on the little frozen dock overlooking the ice that was pitted with small holes from the fishermen’s efforts, and one big one from Cassandra’s earlier attempts that even from this distance had fractured the thick ice, leaving it marred with fracture lines.

“So, this is purely for our own curiosity, and not because Leliana has asked, although she may well want to know. The Points?” Charter was pressed up tightly to Adaar, leaching all of her heat, whilst the two of them peered at the small dwarf with badly concealed curiosity.

“The points, as in how can you get them?” She was being deliberately obtuse, as she batted her eyelashes.

“As in, what are they, what do they do? Where do you spend them?” 

“Ooh, those points, well I mean, they are utterly important and without them it’s almost impossible to get anything that you need points for. In fact it is impossible to get the things you need points for to get, without them.”

“Yes, but what are they?”

“Imagine, if you will, a system where you are arbitrarily given imaginary points, for point worthy reasons.” she paused at the stare of disbelief from the two women, “Look, they mean nothing, it’s just a way of keeping score, and they don’t persist. So while I might get a point for guessing what song is playing from maybe the opening few bars, Lu would get a point for knowing what the song was before the chorus ended. Or I would get half a point for knowing who the singer - I’m losing you, I can see it. Points are just fun things, that mean nothing, do nothing but are fun to bicker about.”

“But he took points away?” Adaar had her best, I know exactly what you are talking about, but Charter still needs clarification, face on.

“Because if he gives an inch, I’ll take a mile, because that’s what I do. If he let me get away with everything I wanted I would be utterly unbearable to be around, and points are something that is unlikely to cause any long lasting arguments, rather than say for instance, a disagreement about adding another pet to the home. Like an actual pet, not you know…” she trailed off, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

“But if you both know that’s the case, then how does it work?”

“The same way, I know that he will catch a spider if I see one, because he knows that they really do scare me, and whilst he doesn’t like them, he does like me, it’s called being in love. And the way that whilst I don’t like cheese - because really who does, I still cook things with cheese in occasionally, even if I pick around it. It;s the little things, not the big things, the big things just happen and you can’t do much about them other than your best, but the little things, the little things matter.”

“So what you are saying is, that you like us so that's why you didn’t shout too much when we ate the last of the lemon loaf even after you had told us how much you enjoyed it when you were baking it?” Charter darted round the other side of Adaar, as the dwarf lobbed a half formed snowball at her.

“I blamed Solas for that, now I’m going to have to apologise to the smug prat,”

“What Charter meant to say, is that you like us, so that’s why you didn’t shout too much when we didn’t stop Solas from eating the last of the lemon loaf,” the three women shared snickering glances.

“That’s what I thought, and yes, you are both truly wonderful individuals who make my life more complete with your tallness and - what do elves bring again?” she grinned wickedly as Charter stuck her tongue out at the blatant dig, “Ah, that's right, your ability to hide behind Adaar, and put up with Rylen’s cheek,”

They retreated back round to the fires soon after, when even Adaar started to complain about the cold, after Charter mentioned how she could cut glass on her nipples, crashing the menfolks gathering with their cold bodies that they threw into the slow males before they were able to work out where the blocks of ice had come from. 

Adaar proved to be a dab hand at a mercenary variant of Wicked Grace, that seemed to change the rules every round, with Varric seemingly distracted every time she lent forward. Charter having been banned as being a sneaky rogue after she had been caught with two extra decks that had fallen out after she’d been suspected of overly cheating by Solas, with Lu hanging her upside down as she squealed in peels of laughter, with Vicky pretending that she wasn’t playing at all, and yet seemingly managing to acquire a large pile of coin from nowhere.

After the previous nights frivolities, it was a quiet group that gathered in the early light of dawn, with word rippling around the area that they would be leaving, a sea of people lining the route, watching quietly as the couple and the group left in the soft morning light, leaving only footprints in the snow in their wake.


	7. Travel Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we gain four more people into the group because you can never have enough right?

They had been travelling for a week before Redcliffe Castle came into sight across the bay of the great lake, there had been an “adjustment” period for them all. With the couple regaining their more… laissez faire approach to conduct that had thrilled some, and unsettled others. Well, once they had given up pretending that their default wasn’t playful bickering about literally everything.

It had started when, within getting the other side of the treeline from Haven, he’d scooped up his wife as she’d started to limp, and not just a little limp, a full on, ow ow ow my feet are really hurting, ow ow ow. Not that she’d said anything mind, instead she’d been thrown onto his shoulder whilst he’d walked, pretending that there was nothing remotely unusual about the situation.

Anders had offered to heal whatever the issue was, and had looked a little disgruntled when she’d laughed in his face, before she regained her manners and pulled off the fluffy boots she’d been provided with, blood dripping into the snow, her ankles looking as if razor blades had been added to them, which had then sent Adaar into fits of pique having obtained them as being sturdy and warm enough to protect.

“Look, you can make me shoes of air, and my ankles will still look like they’ve been viciously mauled by crystals. I just need my mother to wear them in for me, and then it’ll be all ok, that or I wear slip ons, but my ankles - I mean look at them, you can use them as a knife they are that pointed.” she wasn’t entirely wrong, though they bore evidence to scarring that suggested that this was not an uncommon occurrence.

“Oh, you need to mention the fact that even when you have shoes that have been worn in, and haven’t hurt your feet ever, they can still turn on you just like that, remember when we went on that epic five minute trek from my flat to your dads and it was like you’d been stabbed?”

“Such support love, but yes, he’s not wrong, but I thought maybe wearing slip ons in the snow would be frowned on, and I do like feeling my toes, so that’s good. It’ll be fine once I’ve worn them in, just it takes time,” she’d looked slightly shifty eyed at Lu who glanced down at his own feet. “Maybe someone else who has similar sized feet?”

No one had been willing to put their feet in the blood drenched fur, and they had been promptly burned after Adaar had refused to clean them, when Vicky had been informed by Anders that she was not to put her feet back in until they cleaner than when it had been worn on the animal it came from. So instead she deigned to let herself be carried on her husbands shoulders for the most part, or lounged across the back of the cart with her knitting looking only a tiny bit smug about it when Lu wasn’t looking.

Solas had given up going anywhere other than the main camp if he couldn’t see both of them, as he had stumbled into them almost every time he had gone more than thirty paces away. He’d developed a twitch, a very distinct twitch, not helped with Merril spending the first three days badgering him incessantly until he gave more and more tales from the fade away. He’d accused them all of trying to torture him, claiming that even the fade was being affected by their presence. 

It had taken a week before Anders and Hawke truly started to relax in the groups company, with Ander’s flinching every time Duncan looked at him too long, with a highly guilty expression, who in turn had been haunted by Isabela who dogged his steps as assuredly as Solas believed Merrill to be doing. He however had handled the situation with much more grace, even if he was accused by a more sceptical Rylen of encouraging the pirate with the occasional flash of flesh.

Lu had also started to have issues, not so much with their companions but as they left the snowy climbs into the more green area of the Hinterlands, his hay fever reared its ugly head, leaving him a spluttering mess, until they managed to find the correct mix of honeyed teas and tonics to keep the symptoms at bay. It wasn’t entirely necessary, but the moment tea had been mentioned he’d refused to accept any other possible solution, spending copious amounts of time brewing, sniffing and sipping delicately, giving the rest of them a break from his other state of irritability, as only the core cabin crew were able to distract him from rubbing his eyes out, and his wife had given up after he’d gone on a tea rant.

Alistair had stopped them as they neared the castle, muttering something about feeling as if they were walking in the past, which drew odd glances from the pair, but Varric had helpfully filled them in. 

“This is the part where our Intrepid Prince comes clean to his fellow party members to his illustrious roots as the former King's bastard son, which was met with great gasps of shock and awe, and not one bit of surprise as they had all travelled with the current King, who as the Prince’s brother shared some family resemblance…” Alistair was bright red, kicking at the ground instead of at the beardless dwarf, who had managed to place not only Duncan, but also Cullen and Lu in between them.

“Look, I don’t bring up all the rubbish about Hawke that you liked to put in the pile of lies that sold so well, I know some of it is definitely lies, because the whole Anders thing, and Cullen, and well I’m even in it, and I never even went to Kirkwall,” there was an awkward silence as Ander’s looked at him guiltily.

“It was supposed to be a secret, I was never in Kirkwall,”

“I mean technically Princeling, that part isn’t a lie is it…”

“I think what the Prince is trying to say, from a diplomatic standpoint, he was never in Kirkwall in the period of time of the books writing, where there was great political unrest due to a strong Ferelden presence.” there was an awkward pause again as Adaar cut across Alistair’s spluttering.

“It’s not like it’s not in the book, and - I mean why is it even an issue to mention here? Haven’t we gotten off track from the original point, what the Prince was agitating about was this is the part where he confessed his darkest secrets to his companions, and we’re back again. So… what would you like to confess this time?”

“Nothing, absolutely nothing,”

“So still not licked any lampposts in winter then?”

Duncan stepped in before Alistair either passed out or tried to travel through the wall of flesh to the dwarf, “There is a strong feeling of history yes, but of secrets that have long since been known and welcomed into the light. Perhaps we should focus less on the past, and more on the task ahead?” 

The uncomfortable weight of history disappearing as soon as it had appeared, with the couple launching themselves into the icy water of the lake, shrieking with laughter clearly deciding the discussion was over with. 

There was a delay to the proceedings, the couple having taken the stop to mean relaxation break, the water helping to sooth Lu’s skin, and his wife spent her time upside down, practising handstands with only her toes poking out of the water. She had proven she could come further out of the water, when he’d jeered at her, but the look of practised horror on the bald elfs face having her take pity on him by keeping almost fully submerged.

It had taken the group slightly longer to convince the couple to leave the water, than it had at any other time previously, in the end Adaar ambling into the water, scooping her out after she had kept swimming further out of range of the shore when they’d tried to leave. Lu had already given in after being lured back to land with the siren call of hot tea, whilst she had refused all such temptations, deliberately swallowing water down as they’d attempted to call her back.

“You are an utter water baby,” Lu had teased her, as she’d wriggled trying to go back in as soon as she’d been left alone for more than a moment, with her claiming that it was necessary because of the whole shoe situation and that swimming was better exercise than walking anyway, and well, he liked seeing her all wet…

In the end they made it to the village entrance, dry, clothed and less giddy, having had to stop several more times to expend enthusiasm, which they had done with such lack of care for propriety that it had drawn attention from several bandit groups, who were quickly and efficiently dispatched by the group.

There had been some grousing about how unfair it was that they were luring the bandits in, as if they were helpless to act against the - well it wasn’t as if the couple were doing it to trick them, just a happy happenstance. And if it helped keep the roads clearer for less equipped travellers all the better right? It also meant they had more gear to unload at the village to help prop up the besieged forces. If anything Vicky argued that they were merely doing everyone a massive favour, natural selection if they will. Lu had looked as dubious as the others at this, but she had stated it with such certainty that it had been harder to argue with, as had the proposal of not expending the enthusiasm.

The village was swarming with soldiers, alert, armed and dangerous. There had been an infinitesimal standoff at the gates until the two Warden’s or more, Alistair as Prince had intervened, which the strange rift that had been blocking the main gates had not aided with. Perhaps strange wasn’t quite the word, and not all of them had experienced it, with the sheer number of the gathering making it difficult for everyone to have a moment to shine. But for the Mages who were able to snipe at range, shared feelings of… oddness, whilst the warriors stared in disbelief at the lack of description. It hadn’t helped that once again, Vicky had declined to do little more than wiggle her fingers to help close it, with Lu having sulked with his fellow classmates after more demons were blown up just as they reached them.

After the misunderstanding however, in relation to how the rift had sputtered into life as they’d approached causing the gates to shut quickly barring them from entry until the rift was closed and Alistair paraded about, they were hurried through to the Castle where Arl Teagan was waiting, not quite as patiently as Alistair had promised his temperament to be.

It soon became clear as to why, if he really needed any other reason to be considering what had happened in his home, and to the sky above them. Still, in the scant time it had taken for them to come from Haven, which whilst admittedly had been undertaken with some rest breaks, they hadn’t exactly dawdled, Leliana had sent updates. They would need to detour to the Fallow Mire, the Avvar had struck hard, invading the Hinterlands to capture the small platoon that had been stationed there. There was an exchange of pointed looks between Charter, Cullen and Rylen, who had all been fully aware of the order to remain out of reach. A message had been handily left, informing that executions of the hostages would start within a week, if they didn’t turn up to rescue them. 

A challenge had been made, a duel between the Mighty Hand of Korth, and Lu of the Couple, so that the mighty hand of Korth may earn his legend mark. There was some sucking of breath in teeth, as the map was brought out and the route amended, with some light ribbing at Lu’s expense from his lovely lady wife, who was busy asking Varric what odds she could get for betting on the other guy.

Still, underneath the joviality, there was an edge of something darker, as the missive was read several more times, with Charter expressing some concern as to how a whole group had gone missing, and the Arl requesting that they look into the threat to his borders, as he was still at a disadvantage with the Mage situation, and.. Well everything else.

The aid they’d brought with them, was separated off, for Teagan to deliver as he saw fit to, having a far better idea now that he was returned to his home, where it was most likely needed, and would have the time to do so, as the tight turn around to get the fifteen of them from Redcliffe, to where the challenge was to take place would leave them little time to detour. He also made a request, that the two Tevinter Mages be removed from Redcliffe, as it had become, a challenge, to keep them safe. Some of the more zealous villagers threatening to stir up the already tense area into a frenzy. It was argued that by removing the two outsiders, the rest of the mages would remain separate from the ill feeling, as they had up until this point been welcomed with relatively open arms.

There had been a passing hesitation, whilst the size of the group allowed them the security against any potential threat of adding two unknowns in, it would still increase their sheer size. A fact that Vicky was stamped on firmly about when she had started to muse out loud about leaving people behind to help out Redcliffe whilst just her and Lu travelled onwards. By this point it was more of a thing she did because they expected her to do so, as they had mainly all shot her a side glance at the suggestion.

Still they were escorted through to the family wing, after agreeing to the proposition, which had been turned into more of a hospital ward, the conflict in the area clear and apparent. Fiona was in convalescence, tucked away in her own private room, with the two swarthy looking mages sat with her in light conversation. There had been introductions made, with much flirting (Dorian) sweeping bows (Felix) and solemnity (Fiona), before Felix had been requested for a private chat with the Warden-Commander and the Crown Prince, which then resulted in several more private conversations with Anders and Fiona, before the five had squirrelled away for the rest of the day.

Dorian had been whisked away by the rest of the group, and treated to rippling muscles and wine, as the remaining warriors sparred casually in the castles inner courtyard. There had been a moment of disconcertion at the sheer amount of casual intimate affection that most of the group expressed, the lingering kisses, stroking touches, arching bodies and soft moans and sighs.

Varric had taken pity on him, after he’d almost choked as the two former Templars had been pulled into heady kisses after they had pinned the Qunari male, having used his distraction with what the women were doing to their advantage. Charter and Isabela had been dancing round Adaar, using training daggers that they had pilfered from what looked like an old toy chest, testing her defences as Vicky had been throwing balls of water at them. She claimed as a distraction, but the fact that they were gleaming in the delicate rays that penetrated the keeps grounds, somewhat belied her excuses. 

“Easy Sparkler, they won’t do anything to you that you don’t want, if you feel uncomfortable just say and they’ll move it elsewhere,” there had been a momentary pause before Solas reluctantly agreed, having set up to read quietly in a corner, safe for the moment from Merrill’s babbling as she had found baby mages to play with. Varric topped up Dorian’s drink, and left him to it, choosing to challenge Hawke to go head to head with Fenris in a show of who was mightier, the warrior or the Mage. Leaving Dorian to watch through hooded lids, deep in thought.

Isabela had devolved the practising into merely rolling around with Charter, using Adaar as a rest, until she’d broken it up after they had attracted the gaze of supposedly patrolling guards on the battlements, leaving both of them squirming and panting either side of the tall female, with her picking at her talons with a “I don’t give a fuck” attitude.

Duncan appeared first, returning with Anders and Felix as the sun set, with instructions from Teagan that they were to stay in the castle for the night. There had been a few quiet comments about how no one had been expecting to set out at night, and not without Alistair who had been among the most vocal about being left behind. Still, the Prince wasn’t seen until they were setting off the following morning. They had left the castle standing, if only a tiny bit smelling like a brothel, various signs of good natured maulings apparent on not only some of the group, but on their host and some of the staff. 

The trip across to the Fallow Mire was relatively easy, what with the group having swollen to seventeen of them, the extra supplies added for the two not out weighing the aid that had been removed. There had even been space to put the sleepy pirate after she had refused to wake up on the second morning, and Merrill had complained when they had talked about leaving her to be collected on their way back. She hadn’t quite trusted it to be a joke, especially when Varric had been unable to guarantee that it had been said as one. 

Still the journey had given them more chance to gel as a group, with plenty of time to ask the questions that came with time, and not when they had to talk about all the things going wrong with the world. For instance, it was clear early on, that neither of the couple could actually sing, or they could, and would whenever the mood struck, but Lu was flat and nasal, whilst his wife could occasionally hit a note, and was more likely to burst into song at the most random of times. Such as her song about rocks, “subtle, subtle like a rock, dooby dooby dooby do, that’s what our love is, the feelings so hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot” a song Lu most objected to. 

Felix was reintroduced as new junior Warden, with messenger birds being sent to Amaranthine, and to Haven to inform them of the new development. There had been a frank discussion between Cullen, Varric, and Charter at how best to word the news that they had gained two Tevinter Mages, both with such strong ties to the Magisterium - which Dorian had argued was hardly relevant due to his estrangement from the place, not that he would share why. There had then been a cold war stand off between Fenris, Solas and Dorian all of whom seemed to agree with each other in principal when each of their arguments was explained by someone else. 

It was Varric who threw himself under the bus, that got them through the latest conflict, allowing himself to be tricked into sharing that he was actually in a relationship with someone. They managed to use the knowledge as an excuse to invite his married lover to meet them in Haven under the guise of needing a mechanical genius. He had been both happy and pissed in equal measure. It had however gone a long way to answer a pile of questions for the Kirkwallers, who had lived under the assumption that he was merely asexual, after turning down every single advance. He had promised that some of his best work was based on personal experience however, much to the cheers of the Admiral.

Solas had been sweet talked into sharing stories of his youth, from a small village up north, looking more and more uncomfortable as Merrill had tried to get a location, so that she could go and visit after all of this was over, as a place that still spoke such perfect Elvhen, so instead he distracted with tales of the Fade, drawing Alistair and Duncan into a discussion about the battle at Ostagar, who looked just as uncomfortable to dwell on it as he had over his village.

They steamrolled through the Mire, the sheer number of them decimating the undead that appeared every time the water was disturbed, which turned out to be every time there was no threat to face. They explored every inch, closing two rifts with little fuss, setting up a secondary camp, activating elven artifacts that were supposed to strengthen the veil, and regardless of if they did, sent Merrill into more fits of heightened excitement. They’d managed to trigger defence beacons, which had in turn stabilised the main pathway through to the Avvar keep. They also had the drawback of, on being activated, reducing the amount of undead that woke.

Anders had made a new friend, with a priest who had been watching an inactive rift, offering to join them in exchange for helping his Lady of the Skies in closing the many tears that afflicted her so. He had then spent the rest of the time whilst they travelled further into the Mire, deep in discussions with the mages in regards to spirits, none of them having quite the same understanding or opinion, leading to some very… spirited discussions.

They’d come to a gauntlet at the castle gate, where the undead swarmed penning in a small group of Avvar warriors, and for the first time, the group actually broke a sweat outside of their “training” sessions, the warriors finally being allowed to hit something. There had been a tiny discussion in the midst of battle as to leaving and just heading inside to close the gate off when the sheer amount of undead started to ease up. But the sheer joy of having something productive to do from the front line meant that instead, they just fought until no more came out of the murky bog water. Not even after Lu had waded middle deep under the pretence of washing his hands. Something that his wife totally believed wasn’t an attempt to draw out the battle, even as Adaar and Rylen went splashing in after him, causing enough of a raucous to summon everything in the entire Mire to their location. 

The Avvar had then let them pass without incident, falling in behind as they made their way to where the challenger was busy hurling abuse at the group. He offered to duel the female first, so she wouldn’t have to suffer after he killed her much larger male. There had been a moments pause as they exchanged amused glances, before Lu swept into the bow she had accused him of not knowing previously, before her, motioning the Mighty Hand to step forward to meet his duelist.

Whilst there had been no hesitation on Lu’s behalf, nor on his wifes, there was a lot of unease at this turn of events from the others. So far she had done very little, barring her wiggling of fingers, she had presence, and definitely had will, but other than the Pride Demon from the breach, no one had actually seen her do anything outside of sexual play that wasn’t utterly passive. Her staff was back with the cart, stuffed in with the bedrolls, because she kept leaving it places the times when she’d been bothered to carry it with her, and Adaar had threatened to leave it behind the next time she just dumped it in a corner for someone else to deal with. Still there was little they could do as she stepped forward, not even reaching for the whip that was ever present at her waist. Nothing that wouldn’t undermine her, or Lu’s decision by interfering.

They made a strange pair, The Hand being almost as tall as Lu, and she was by far the shortest of the group, he was fully decked in thick furs and paint, clasping a two handed hammer in a ready stance, whilst she was slouched in her cleanest tunic, one that hadn’t been ripped down the side from a mishap with her favorite crystal - the blue one, she’d asked for a green one, but so far they hadn’t been able to find one, she preferred not to use the red one, said it didn’t match her eyes, or her fingernails, or her tunic, the excuse changed every time. Still bare foot, because the pair of boots the Admiral had offered her, pinched her toes, although she admitted that her ankles had been fine, and when they’d offered her foot wraps she’d giggled, claiming they were tickling her and tickling was on the banned list.

The area fell quiet, as he waited, staring at her, the tiny dwarf who looked as impressed as she ever did, until she let out a sigh which had him lunging forward, his two handed hammer swinging down to crush her skull only to find it caught in her hand, her eyes flashing playfully before she twisted it away from him. It was tossed behind her to where Lu had been standing, with him mocking her weak attempts to hit him with it. The irate Avvar going to throttle her as so many seemed to want to do in this world, capturing his huge hands in her petite ones, and bending them backwards until he was forced to his knees.

Taking a step back, she offered him a foot, a fairly clean one at that, she’d suffered being carried most of the way, to his face which turned bright red in suppressed rage. “As you were so kind of offer me a chance not to suffer, I shall do the same. Pay fealty to me, as your world, or we can continue. Be careful though, I can make this as fast or slow as I want.” 

He tried to launch himself at her again as she’d stepped back out of range, and found himself with her foot on his neck before he had chance to breath. “You get three chances, this is your second,” she released the pressure from her foot and stepped back, allowing him once again to stand back up.

The hammer was handed back to him, his nostrils flaring like an enraged bull at the sheer cheek of their actions, as she taunted him, this insignificant dwarf who treated him with as little respect as the others. He started to circle her, shifting his grip on his hammer between hands, his blood well and truly fired as his intended victim didn’t even bother to shift to face him, allowing him access to her back. He took a step forward with the most amount of caution he could gather, no reaction, before roaring in rage, throwing everything he had into what should have been the death blow.

Instead he found himself pinned against a wall with his hammer crushing his neck, “Third chance puppy,” her lids were heavy, voice seductive even as she squeezed the life from his body, “Say it, say Yes please, Yes Madame, you can feel it, feel it in your stomach,” her gaze dipped down between them, her leg shifting slightly so it pressed against his groin where he began to stir.

All the blood that had rushed to his head, now rushing to his other, the pressure increasing to the point where she could crush him, would crush him even as she offered him salvation. This small, hungry predator. He no longer had breath to speak, and his vision was wavering, but he was able to mouth the word she had offered to him, the word she had given him to speak. She left him, in that moment, his vision truly starting to fade to black, before releasing, the hammer disappearing off to the large male who stepped in behind him, and she, she stepped back, watching him once more through hooded lids.

The moment stretched as he panted, dragging in air to his body desperately, keeping his eyes on the victor, his victor, the strange small dangerous predator that prowled before him, something needed to happen next, it was becoming clear in the still that she expected something from him. Something he struggled to realise as he could feel himself growing more unsure, until she took pity on him, catching his eye deliberately with hers before drawing his attention to her feet. And so he found himself prostrating at her foot, his lips kissing the soft surface as he swore his fealty as she had demanded. And he was rewarded with a gentle hand on his neck, her thumb resting on his airway, pressing just enough to express her strength, before ending the moment, pulling him back to his feet and depositing him at her husbands side.

She then ignored him for the rest of the time they were there, choosing to knit, feet dangling off the crenellations as the others dealt with the missing soldiers, finding lost Warden artifacts, other treasures and organising the Avvar for future exploiting. In many ways, it was the beauty of travelling with so many, and with such varied backgrounds, not that she would dare utter it aloud, it meant that she was able to cool down and not have to deal with the rest of it, whilst she was in the mood to destroy so completely. 

She could rely on Anders at the very least to ensure the captured hostages health, Duncan to ensure the warden treasures were dealt with appropriately, Isabela, or Varric perhaps to ensure that the groups meshed without causing widespread chaos. Varric was very smooth, but the pirate, she knew how to keep order when she had to. Nothing wrong with letting people play to their strengths, especially if it meant that she didn’t need to keep her temper to do it for them.

The Hand of Korth, or Puppy as he had been renamed by his victor, had been taken in hand aptly by Lu, who had good naturedly kept him company, dragging him away every time he’d tried to head towards his wife, “She’ll break you, best give her time to calm down otherwise what was the point of not killing you to begin with,” complete with a playful stuffing of his head into Lu’s armpit. He’d been dubious to his claims, but was unable to break free from him to test it out.

The group and soldiers spent the night at the castle, before parting with the Avvar in the morning. Puppy had demanded to travel with them, until she’d looked down her nose at him, distinctly unimpressed. He had looked confused at the state of affairs considering he was almost twice her height. He’d then asked, and as she still didn’t sway, prostrated himself at her feet for the second time in less than a day. This at least meritted a response of a sigh and her hand around his neck again, his heartbeat skipping as she pressed her fingers in hard enough to leave small red marks.

There had been a stand off as he stayed still under her gaze. She moved away, he stayed perfectly still, even as the others started to move on, Lu leading them forward through the bogland, as Puppy followed her unspoken command not to move.

He wasn’t sure how long it took, his former clan could no longer be heard as they travelled back to meet with his father, and his hopefully future clan were no longer in view, his muscles starting to strain at the position he had been left in. His neck was trembling as he felt something behind him, willing himself not to react even as he felt a blade caress the back of his neck. The blade stilling, pressing until he was sure it was cutting into him, he could feel the trickle of what he hoped wasn’t blood, start to creep down his back, before the sharp edge withdrew, and she stepped back in front of him, a mixture of pride and annoyance apparent on her face.

“I was told that you were a brat who caused nothing but trouble…” she pulled him into a sitting position, letting him stretch his muscles properly as she kicked at the ground with enough force to make him wince at the sight of her bare toes mashing against the stony path. 

“We were told to harass the Tevinters, instead I chose to lead them here, to fight you instead,” she nodded, already aware of what he was supposed to have done, with the Skywatcher they’d collected happy to gossip with the mages into the early hours, having witnessed the Chief’s sons defeat.

“If you turn feral, you will be put down.” a simple statement of fact, to which he dipped his head, offering her his neck again.

“You have stolen me from my hold, my loyalty is to you and your holds.” silence, then a slightly aggrieved sigh at his words, before she tilted his head back up so he met her eyes. 

“I want to tell you that you give your loyalty too quickly, that you speak with the quickness of a child, but that would bring unnecessary shame, and would be unjust of me. So I shall ask this, can you be trusted to walk unleashed puppy?” he stared at her, the small female dwarf who had let herself be alone with a dangerous warrior who had tried to kill her several times not even a full day before. It didn’t stop him from shaking his head, he wasn’t to be trusted, she couldn’t trust him, he didn’t trust him, and he would be unable to live with bringing more shame upon himself.

She pulled out a thin knitted band from between her breasts, which she spread between her two hands, pulling it over his head until it rest around his neck. It felt warm, soft, heavy and it had shrunk itself so that he could feel it encompassing him, the edge of restricting his breathing as she had done so, so casually before. He could smell her, smell her surrounding him, even as he span his head every which way. He’d gone to touch it, halting at her narrowed look, until she allowed him permission with a dip of her head.

He tried to get a finger underneath to see how strong it was, it was made from wool, but it felt like metal on his skin, yet when he had tried to pry his finger underneath, it was if it was melded to his flesh, fingers unable to gain purchase. She had even given him her crystal to try and cut at it, but it had skipped over the thin fibres, only her hand stopping it from injuring him as he lost his grip. She then knotted a piece of thin yarn into a small loop that she had teased out, letting an Avvar’s worth of length fall between them, before tucking the other end into a handle around her wrist.

“Come on the Puppy, best catch up before they start to worry I’m being mean to you,” she shot him a considering look, “Not that you look like you have an issue with it, still best not to let me go too far, you never know I could get power hungry and make your life a living misery…” a half smile as she gestured for him to rise, positioning the leash so it fell just right between them.

It took him a while to get used to walking on a leash, his stride far greater than hers, and she meandered as she walked, stopping frequently to pick herbs that lay alongside the path, not bothering to pick up any speed. She gave him no visual or verbal clues as to what to do, leaving him to work out for himself how to keep pace. If when she stopped for a moment to collect a herb, related to when he had lost his synergy with her steps he wasn’t aware of it.

He had however, become aware of the occasional extra presence that never made itself fully known, leaving him increasingly on edge. She had offered nothing more than a teasing smile after the fourth time he had stiffened at the perceived threat. She had however burst into laughter as he moved to stand in front of her when finally Charter appeared off to the side of them, looking equally amused. 

“Adaar said he would be like a guard dog, probably shouldn’t have taken that bet,” she had her nose tweaked as the dwarf linked arms with her, the length of yarn increasing by another Avvar’s length in reward for his actions, it had been enough for him to straighten his posture in pride at being rewarded so soon.

“That’s because she isn’t daft, unlike you hmm… Were you really worried about me being all alone with the big scary man, the big scary man who I almost killed three times over, whilst he was fully armed?” 

“More like worried you’d get lost, you should have seen his face as you started to leave the path to go back to the windmill, I had visions of having to go get Lu to get you to catch up,” she batted playfully at her, before pointing at her feet, “Which, maybe we should do anyway, unless we want to test out how well our resident spirit healer can do at healing plagues…”

“We were doing training exercises, the rate you lot move when I’m not there to boss you about, we’d have caught you up before he got to grips with the simple stay command if I’d followed the direct path.” He’d stiffened at the teasing tone, before relaxing as she gently tugged on the leash, “Admit it, you just missed me greatly, for without my wit, my splendor, my amazingness in every way shape and form, it’s just a little dull.” the two women shared a glance before giggling.

“Lu’s keeping them under control, for someone who we have all seen under the whip, he’s pretty intimidating when he wants to be,” a pleased sigh, and a kiss on her cheek for the comment. “But yes, it is a little dull, they keep talking about Spirits, like all the time, and Varric just wants to know everything from the Warden’s, he thinks they have secrets that haven’t been shared still, so keeps asking Alistair and Duncan keeps interrupting them, because how he’s managed to get to this stage without learning how to not answer a question is beyond me. And Adaar just ignores them all, between her and Fenris it’s like trying to squeeze blood from a stone. And don’t get me started on the aren’t warriors the best club, we need more Rogues, because I can’t rely on the pirate to remember to back my plays. She gets too distracted, as soon as Duncan ripples an arm in her general direction, she just goes blank and starts flitting round him like a demented butterfly.” 

They both burst into giggles, as she finished her mini rant that had left her looking a tad surprised at the sheer volume of words. “I knew you missed me, maybe we can train Puppy up to be a rogue?” they both looked at him and giggled again, “Maybe not. But I do have to agree with you, Lu does look very pretty under the whip,” they shared a long meaningful glance, sighed, with the slight elf wiggling in response, tilting her head round begging for a proper kiss only to pout at being so rudely denied.

“I do see your point though, I mean at this rate, if we were to follow Hawkes amazing plan,” they both rolled their eyes at that, “of splitting into three groups, we would have to have you, Issy and Varric in separate groups, and then it’ll be, “I want Varric because we are such good friends” and he’ll be like “I want to be where the best action is because I’m rubbish at coming up with things by myself now, because I have leached for so long off all of my friends…” “ they exchanged giggling glances again.

“Oh, and then it’ll be we have to have Varric with probably me, because he seems to think I’m the trouble maker, when as we all know, I’m too bone idle to deliberately start trouble” she gave her best innocent expression, “And I want my two best ladies with me, because fuck am I dealing with all of this without you two. Which then means Varric starts to sulk, which sets off the Hawke, and if Hawke’s sulking so does his boytoy… I don’t have enough patience at the best of times, but dealing with grown men who struggle to play nicely when told no…” 

“We need more rogues, or we get rid of some of the…” Charter grinned at her, deliberately leaving off the last word.

“Wench,”

“Wench who you call your most favorite lady though,”

“Psh, second favourite, Adaar doesn’t give me this much cheek.”

“Like I said, Adaar who it’s like trying to get blood out of a stone,”

Puppy just looked a little bewildered, he’d gone from having a stern owner, to a creature who was much more playful and light, but the grip on his leash didn’t falter, nor did the tightness around his neck, as they led him forward whilst bantering playfully.


	8. Hinterlands Baby!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they are where the chapter says they will be. Also another member joins, amazingly it's a warrior because they are lacking a warrior - just ask the rogues.

It didn’t take too long to meet up with the others who were idling near the camp, all doing their best we weren’t worried at all, faces, all in suspiciously occupied conversations as they entered the clearing. All bar Lu, who just looked at them with a grin, and a chirpy, “Not lost then?” she sighed, before handing the leash to Charter who looked aghast, as the decorated female stalked forward and jabbed him in his chest with a finger.

“Look, I have the homing instincts of a pigeon, I do not get lost, I just head in a direction until I see something familiar and then head from there. OR I ask for directions, but seriously, its a pretty straight forward path,” she ignored the choked off snort from behind. “I had to give you a head start, so that you had time to round them all up again after they scattered like marbles.” 

“I think we should be upset by that comment?” came a drawl from the back which she waved away.

“Anyway, whats the plan, because you have got a plan, the lot of you, after you abandoned me to deal with Puppy, so you could all swan off and do important things…” Lu merely shrugged.

“Whatever the plan is that we discussed, you’ll just have one of your own anyway, so lets hear yours and then we can see if it matches ours.” She gave him a look, the look one gives when the other person has just outright lied but you love them so you don’t immediately call them on it, but merely give them enough rope to hang themselves.

“Now, I’m sure Cullen and Rylen will have been talking to Alistair about what to do with the Inquisition forces who will need some convalescence, even with the expert healing from our mages. So I am more than sure, that as the Inquisition isn’t trying to usurp the Crown and the Bann? Teyrn? In the area, the most logical solution would be to have them back at the Crossroads, where they can prop up the stretched forces, and operate under the lead of the local persons orders?” 

“Funnily enough, that was exactly what we all were talking about,”

“I’m sure it was, because it wouldn’t have been laying odds onto what happened back where you left us, or how long it would be until we caught up, and what state we’d all be in.” Apparently she was still feeling slightly testy, even with the forced lightness from her chattering with Charter.

“I wasn’t allowed to bet, sorry love. However mainly it’s been watching Duncan be stalked by Issy, in between breaking up fights in the mage camp, did you know how many types of spirits there are?” There was an aggrieved rumbling from the so called Mage camp.

“Lots, and they don’t fight, they battle, with words, it’s like exercising for them, or for some of them at least, in between preening and sex, although who can really blame them. Some of us need to keep warmed up as we have to do all the work.” Yeah, she was definitely feeling fighty still, as she brushed her nails against her tunic, offering him a cheeky leer.

“I’m not going to start off a whole thing again about kill stealing, because it’s not a real thing. And well…” He gave her a look, which she met and returned. “It wasn’t me who everyone was worried about fighting, Puppy?” it was a questioning look this time, one that asked, were they really going to keep calling him that, to which the answer she gave nonverbally was yes.

“How quickly they forget who actually killed that Pride Demon.” She stood nonchalantly admiring her nails that all seemed to be slightly different lengths even after she’d cut them.

“And since then, you have killed precisely nothing, in fact, you have cast precisely nothing deliberately.” he tapped a finger on hers as they’d started to pick at the skin along her nails. “Stop it, they’ll start to bleed and then it’ll be all “blood mage” and it’ll be even more stupid to try and get through to the Chantry that we aren’t actually demons in disguise. Although… you do set my blood on fire” there was the faint sound of gagging in the background as she broke out into giggles.

“Gah, I love you too, idiot. I’m being a cow bag, and I haven’t got any chocolate, so, apologies?” he grimaced before kissing her on the forehead.

“Awesome, Vicky’s body strikes again?” she shrugged, “you’ll be glad to know the Avvar have kindly agreed to keep us informed of any future threats from the Mire, in exchange for our aid with any rifts that they find deeper in their territory. Alistair has agreed to offer any aid needed from any such rifts until we are able to attend.”

“We were discussing things whilst you were off having fun after all,” she turned to look at the Prince, just in time to see Adaar swat him round the head gently.

“Only when the Avvar approached us to talk about it, I seem to remember there was more talking about what we were going to eat, and if there would be any chance of cards later because it’s been a whole two days since the cards were dragged out.” 

“We still discussed it, and we have injured soldiers, it’s important to discuss what we will feed them, get them back on their feet sooner and all that.” he brazened it out with a serious head nod, which had his co-conspirators making vague noises of agreement.

The cart was quickly loaded up with the remnants of the campsite, and with little fuss they started to make their way back through the Pass, walking straight into a rift which had them groaning slightly, as the warriors stayed back with the injured, and Vicky making a concerted effort to wave her hands about dramatically whilst staring at Lu hard, who was doing his best not to laugh too openly.

It was closed with little issue, with Vicky holding her hand up as Lu went to help close it, “No, let me, I need to start pulling my weight and all that, so you just stay there, and I will close it, oh ouch oh that hurts, so much pain” she said with dead tone as she clicked her fingers and it closed, with him looking immensely pleased.

“Did you even cast anything?” she gave her best shocked and appalled look at the very suggestion, before Merrill ruined it.

“Oh, that looked so fancy, and I couldn’t even feel anything happening, you’ll need to teach me how it’s done,”

“It’s an ancient earth technique that only works for native earthers.” her tongue was shoved into the corner of her cheek, as it twitched at her husbands widening grin.

“I’m beginning to think that you are just pretending to have magic.” she replied only with her middle finger, before flouncing off with Puppy chasing at her heels, pulling Charter along after him as he tried to catch her up.

They skirted up and round to the left to where there had been rumours of a cult that had taken up in Winterwatch Tower, that sounded moderately more interesting than trying to mountain goat it around the mountain, even after it had been pointed out several times that there were actual paths. Lu had passed some comment about how he couldn’t wait to see what she actually did with a horse, to which she responded with more finger salutes, including ones that were hidden messages.

They stumbled across a scout who had been in the middle of a romantic liaison with an apostate, before rogue Templars had taken them by surprise, to which they were both able to be saved from being made into worm food. Lewd suggestions from Isabela and less lewd from Charter, had them recruiting Ritts into a more specialised service for Leliana, with Eldredda being offered a place with the mages back at Redcliffe, with the potential to move within the Inquisition if she so wished further down the line. There had been a brief moment where the expressed desires to not be parted were treated with a suggestion that in Ritts’ new role she might need time to settle in before they adopt children together.

If there had been a flash of relief on both faces, no one was rude enough to mention it, and Issy was heard making bets on how long that relationship would last, now that it wasn’t a forbidden love. 

The cult however had been both happy and dismayed at how easily the rift they had chosen to worship was sealed, not helped by how quickly the decorated pair denounced all associations with the Maker, and then helpfully pointed out that at the moment they were personae non gratae with the Chantry, but of course as the cult was separate from the Chantry it shouldn’t affect how they felt about them. This had been said with a very definite smile, from the small female, who had at her back a whole horde of blank faced, vaguely recognizable elite. Before the Prince then introduced himself and went into a whole spiel about doing ones duty for the good of all, which ended with them promising to lend aid with the refugee crisis. Especially after the female started to make pointed comments in regards to nobles and their fancies.

Solas “found” another artifact, he had stopped saying out loud he sensed anything in regards to the veil after Merrill would immediately cling to his side, and then force him to explain in great detail everything that he felt. There was a lingering suspicion amongst those who weren’t the Kirkwallers that this was done deliberately, as the wide eyed innocent look was reminiscent to the dwarfs when she acted outrageously. However the resulting twitching from Solas was entertainment enough to allow the performance to play out. Also she was insanely good at spotting random bits of rubbish, including a mosaic piece, that was flung into the back of the cart, before being rebundled carefully by the resident mum, Adaar. 

Dorian had discovered a dusty bottle of vintage wine, whilst Lu was busy being accosted by a Lord who was waiting for news of his lost love, and was about to place it in his personal bags before Charter swiped it, offering it up to the Lord who rescinded all claims, before being stashed away with the two other bottles that were keeping his wifes staff company. Both Fenris and Dorian being threatened against merely drinking it by accident without checking first.

They had also managed to acquire a young elf requesting safe passage back to the Crossroads ahead of the others, on learning where they were heading to next, having been swayed by several long in depth conversations that had taken place in front of him about the stupidity of humans and their cults courtesy of Vicky’s too favorite ladies, who had been hiding from the feisty female after she had made several loud very pointed comments about privilege, which had her husband calling her Marx.

The group however ended up backtracking slightly, discovering a cave system that was hiding a demon summoning apostate, a red lyrium deposit, supplies of warm clothing and rations as well as a heavy supply of minerals. Which was duly marked down on the map, with the noises about it going anywhere but towards the Crown being quickly squashed, as she’d started to go off on an in depth explanation about how they weren’t trying to take over the world, with Lu distracting her using his body when she started to get her crystals as she got more animated. 

They closed another Rift, with Lu quietly suggesting that they just let her wear herself out on it, before falling quiet at the look of betrayal she gave him, then quickly forgetting all about it as a small group of Templars that were born with less brains than thought possible, on seeing a group of twenty mainly well armoured and weaponised travellers, thought it wisest to attack. They relieved the corpses of their items, including personal belongings that quite clearly didn’t belong to them, which were stashed with the other valuables they weren’t happy to sell at the first chance they got. The couple exchanged knowing looks, “side quest items” with Varric groaning as Hawke started to get animated about all the interesting people they had met from returning lost items.

The missing Lady was met, being chased by bandits who didn’t stop to talk to them as they came into view. The three rogues of the party choosing to escort her to the Tower with Vicky and Puppy, although some slight hesitation at the Vicky part, she hadn’t been massively diplomatic to start with. 

On receipt of his bride, the Lord immediately pledged to serve the Inquisition without a thought, much to the aggravation of his future wife. Instead of his offer to go into battle, which they were sure he thought was terribly romantic, it was suggested that the couple be used as diplomats together. And so the Inquisition found itself with a minor diplomatic issue that the group were happy to leave to Josephine to pick through at a later date. 

Vicky however did bless their marriage with a few simple words, at their behest, and some more intricate arm waving that had Charter looking at her dubiously, however the couple both glowed with a golden light on receiving the words, that slowly faded. Varric promised on pain of the Seeker not to write this down for later consumption.

They chose this time to head in the opposite direction, after quickly checking on the map as Varric had complained about several bushes of prickly things that had grown over one of the paths, and well, they needed some entertainment now that the “escort quest” was over with. Vicky was busy telling them how wrong it could have gone, when they stumbled into an anxious looking scout who was busy looking for Ritts, who was then pleased at the information that nothing untoward had occurred, and a faint smirk at the news she had taken up with a lover.

“So, you are telling us that you get asked to take people places, and instead of following you, they what? Wander off?” Varric had his notes out again as Charter was staring at her in disbelief as they picked up the conversation again, as they found themselves heading to a small rift that she announced she could feel in the manner of Solas.

“Or even better, they keep walking off in front while you are busy trying to either kill whatever it is that you are supposed to be like protecting them from, or they can magically go over an obstacle, but you have to go all the way round. Or worse still, the ones where you have to escort like a chicken, and stay within like a Lu’s length of them as they skitter about all over the place, being chased by wolves, or cats, or people. And if you don’t stay within that tiny distance - don’t tell him I called him tiny, then it fails even if there is no reason why.” She was busy waving her arms around animatedly, Puppy whining as his lead kept being pulled on.

“And why do you do it?”

“Well, Lu doesn’t, probably why he didn’t volunteer, he says its pointless, which on the whole it really is, I mean obviously you get them there safely, but mainly I do them even when they annoy me, because well, someone has to?” they looked at her dubiously. “Or I just don’t like leaving anything undone.”

“So does this mean you’ll never leave?” She didn’t answer the question, deciding to fully engage with the rift now that there were less of them, with Puppy doing an admirable job of playing shield as the rogues danced around taking out spirits whilst Vicky pretended to be too enthralled in the actions of barriering them all. Still no harm befell them, and they were able to reassure a widower who had appeared out of her home, that they would send on her husbands belongings as soon as they met up with the cart, with Varric looking faintly dubious that they had them, whilst Vicky was explaining how the chances of one of the items they’d only earlier found, not belonging to her was so slim it wasn’t a difficult promise to make.

They found another cache of goods as they were debating the probability of such a neat wrapping up, and managed to rescue trapped mages who had barricaded themselves in a hut that Templars were in the middle of torching. It ended badly for the Templars, as none of them were feeling particularly generous to burning people alive as a go to response. The mages however were saved, their home destroyed but the widower offered them safe harbour in exchange for help on the small homestead, with the cache being crossed off the map as it was decided that charity did sometimes begin at home. 

They only deviated a tiny bit as a rift activated as they rounded back to meet up with the group, however the others had already spotted them and were making their way back, reaching them just as the rift closed, with Vicky repeating her new spiel as she looked at her still amused husband, “Ow, ouch, oh no it feels like it’s killing me”. 

“You are a true hero putting up with that all by yourself, I mean, we should give you a medal.” She nodded seriously at him, before Charter tapped her on the head, head bobbing towards the cart.

“Shit, so someone needs to go back to take the rings and things to a woman,” Charter let out a faint sigh at the description, before snagging Issy with a whispered promise that had both women giggling as they hared back off in the direction they’d come from. “Quest complete, probably.” 

The missing rogues managed to catch back up just as they were entering the Crossroads proper, with the extra soldiers being handed over to the Corporal in charge who looked hesitantly pleased at the extra manpower, and brightening significantly when they handed over the aid packages and locations of caches. There was then a very uncertain feeling as the Chantry mother they had been sent to speak with, asked to speak to the decorated Couple. 

They had decided the time spent apart had been far too long, and had stolen off back up the road to an abandoned shack and were enjoying themselves with gay abandon. Returning eventually to a long and loud lecture about the perversion of young minds with sexual misconduct, before being lambasted with Chantry rhetoric. In the end, after being prompted to by Adaar who had spotted the look on the smaller females face, Alistair stepped in to smooth the situation over, offering the Mother Royal support to stay either at the Crossroads or at Redcliffe where the needy truly needed guidance, than being stifled up in the cold mountains where there was already a strong Chantry presence.

He was given an almost approving look by the more responsible amongst them, as the situation was defused before the already volatile female of the couple acted out of spite. Still, no one truly believed in the words, however as an easy way out, she accepted the provision of aid, security and all the needy penitents that anyone could truly need.

Anders provided a more specialised healing service as everyone bar Amund, Hawke and Alistair set off to clear out the bandits who had been praying on travellers using the East Road, too far out for the limited Royal Army to have routed. There had been a group wide look, as a Dalish elf was spied fighting off demons. Who proceeded to try and lie, before Merrill with a decided wide eyed innocence that Solas was now well used to, cut through simply. Mihris remaining quiet the rest of the trip into the ruined room, to activate another artifact, with Dorian and Solas having to be lured out after the discovery of ancient runes marked on a wall only activated by veilfire. Merrill had quietly been perfecting her ability to detect random items, stealing an amulet that Solas had coveted but was too slow to slip from between her fingers.

The bandits had failed to learn how to destroy secret messages, and had handily given them written instructions on how to locate their various strong holds within the area, which had them happily marking down the locations. They also discovered a prime camp site, at the entrance to a Dragon nesting area much to the delight of some, and the concern of others, devolving into a minor discussion about just taking care of the issue there and then. Then a much longer one about extinction and the rights and wrongs of killing for sport over necessity. In the end after Lu had shown little interest and his wife now deliberately stirring up the hornets nest, they set off back towards the hamlet, clearing up another rift and interrupting a fight between family members before returning somewhat triumphantly.

The young elf they had escorted back from Winterwatch, had settled into the healers hut that Anders was using as a clinic room, after being taken on by the Corporal as the small hamlets alchemist (in training) as he’d produced a semi advanced potion to aid his mother’s illness. The family reunion had been somewhat strained however, and at the risk of having the lad run off again, it was decided that it would be more suitable to have the hut occupied than not.

As the Chantry Mother was still aiding the unworthy, Vicky was sent off with a handful of hunters and Puppy to oversee the gathering of fresh meat, with them told to roam as far as they needed to, with her going along on the barest off chance that they stumbled into a rift. They returned much later on, laden down with rams, fennecs and nugs, looking dirty, sweaty and happy, with Puppy trailing behind the small smug looking female merrily. 

The next course of action was to clear out the Kings Highway, which had become a focal point for the rampaging civil war. The Corporal had offered support, but they’d waved it away, instead collecting all of their team. They were swift, deadly and efficient, everyone they came across given the choice to stand down, with at first only a couple choosing to do so. As they cut through the field and buildings however, as the ones who had surrendered were not only left alive but protected from further harm, more chose to do so. It was heavily in favour of the mages however, the lack of lyrium addling many of the Templars beyond reason.

They took back Fort Connor, secured all the buildings emptying them of anything deemed potentially useful for the future, destroyed more red lyrium in rapidly, before sending word back to the stationed forces of the restoration of order. 

They went on a decent detour from their proposed destination as Vicky announced “I feel a disturbance in the veil” that had Solas ignoring her, as she snickered. Still the rift was closed quickly, and a note to the location of the Rebellious Mages hideout and then more with little additions of “destroy after reading” that were all gathered up in a handy to read bundle which raised several brows. 

They were easy to convince to stand down, with instructions on where the main body of mages were based safely in Redcliffe, with a note marked with a seal from Alistair to ensure safe entrance into the guarded village, that had them shuffling out as happily as they could considering the state of the grounds which had been covered in magical traps, and the skittering of giant spiders that kept their distance at the sheer number of people.

However when they came across the directions to the Templar stronghold, it had been the final straw for the non natives, with much derision from almost everyone at how idiotic Fereldens were, to how stupid Templars were, to how stupid humans were. All in all it was with exasperation that they followed the almost map to where they were based, managing to only save the youngest who weren’t as reliant of the lyrium that they were denied after the schism.

Still, they continued on to where the Horse Master lived, quickly closing another rift that appeared right on his doorstep. An agreement to build watch towers, and a quick detour to remove a terror demon haunting a wolf pack which had lots of differing opinions but resulted in everything dying regardless, a violent rift and rescue a stray druffalo left them with a legion of horses for the group and the promise of more for the Inquisition along with Master Dennet’s presence to care for them. 

He had been less difficult to convince than they had been warned to expect, and had happily let them set up camp at his front door, Alistair claimed it was because he was there, whilst Hawke strutted his Championness as the reason. Either way, they were grateful to him, and the tasks had been relatively reasonable by all accounts.

In fact all in all it was very successful. More random treasures and wine, which the Couple admitted to not really drinking but using primarily for cooking, but only out of earshot of the hardened drinkers. Strange star charts that had the more scholarly cooing and squeeing over, after they had stopped the more inquisitive from pressing random buttons constantly, just to see what would happen. 

Vicky refused outright to go into the deep dark ruin, after someone had helpfully reminded her about the conversation back at the foothills of Haven and how Spiders liked dark caves. Or she hadn’t refused until something had brushed her shoulder, it had been Hawke, which he only admitted after she was outside and out of earshot, after she’d shrieked jumping onto Lu’s back, clinging for dear life, until he’d taken her back outside and left her with Felix who was less vocal but just as unkeen on the beasts as she was. The pair of them refused to go into the remainder of the caves, taking to chatting about all the ways the world would be better without spiders, happily ignoring the counterarguments to build out the best version of the world they could.

After every inch of every cave had been scoured for loot, and to make sure they were safe of course, they made their way round to the bandit fort, clearing up another two rifts after which the whole area felt different, more solid, which then had the couple pouncing on each other as a reward for their very important hard work.

The fort fell over as quickly as everything else had before it, a rage demon killed, more treasures swiped and another note found this time with a key - because why not right, along with directions to a Thaig that had Carta based in it, neatly leading them back to where the Grey Warden Blackwall was last seen. More logging sites for Arl Teagan, after a ridiculous conversation as to whether the Inquisition really needed any more resources of that nature.

There was immediate concern as they skirted round to the Thaig, as their three Wardens sensed darkspawn, with Felix making copious notes as he tried to note down what he felt in comparison to what the much longer serving Wardens did, which almost spiralled into an in depth waffle about research papers, until Duncan interrupted with the concern about darkspawn being so close to where Blackwall was supposed to be. 

Still, they had to contend with the Carta first, who were less than willing to surrender, so met the fate of being dispatched quickly, the fact that notes found showed they had been keeping a keen eye on them would have been unsettling but for the fact that nothing so far had been even remotely a challenge. Not even the darkspawn threat, which was left to the mages to deal with at range, the few that there had been at that, which once the small breach was closed raised more queries from the Warden-Commander.

The vault was opened using the ingenuity of their best roguish minds, and Varric, who was helpful in the manner that he suggested in future all exploration should be done only in a tavern, until the vault door swung open to reveal piles of treasure, and then a pile of darkspawn who died messily all over it. He reiterated his point about taverns as they left the Thaig, with Lu leading Vicky back over the bridge after someone had kicked a corpse over the edge, making her pale and refuse to travel back across it, claiming that she was happy to live on this side thank you very much, and she was sure Puppy would keep her fed and watered. As it was, this wasn’t an actually a viable option, and she proved resistant to the idea of being knocked out, claiming if she was going to die from death by height, she wanted to be aware of it to prepare.

Once outside they could see down across the small lake to where there was a simple cabin, with men loitering outside in front of a big bearded man. He had barely started to introduce himself before Duncan interrupted him before he could embarrass himself further. 

“I knew Warden Blackwall.” 

A pause, as he looked ready to bolt as the men he had been training looked at him with suspicion, before a very foolhardy band of, well they couldn’t even be described as bandits, idiots took advantage of the awkward situation and tried to attack, they were very quickly dispatched with the ranged of the group casually plinking them down as the warriors stood around looking pretty, pretty miffed as yet again they were reduced to shields.

“Look, whomever you are, you were trying to do something here? Help?” Varric slipped in before the situation soured, with the not Warden dismissing the sort of recruits, before looking at them with weary resignation.

“My name is Thom Rainier, I was to be a Warden, Blackwall recruited me but died saving my life in a darkspawn attack. I… well… my history is,” Duncan looked at him sternly.

“If you had agreed, you should have made your way to the nearest Warden base, regardless of your history, if Warden Blackwall thought you suitable you would have been welcome.” Rainer deflated as Alistair nodded at his words.

“I mean we took Felix, and he’s Tevinter” Felix grinned at this, whilst Duncan merely gave him a look.

“Thank you Alistair, you have just proved how sometimes our decisions can be unwise,” the Prince was as unrepentant as Felix.

“Look, can’t you just Warden him up?” Lu covered his wife’s mouth as she went to say something, not trusting that it would be polite. And so Thom Rainier became for the second time in his life, a Warden Recruit, with them promising to complete the process when they were back at Redcliffe. They sent off missives to both Amaranthine and Haven for the records to be updated with the redemption story of Thom Rainier so that in Varric’s charming terms, it wouldn’t bite them on the ass later.

Duncan had removed the treaties after going demented at how Thom had ended up with them, with Alistair patting the new recruit on the shoulder saying that unfortunately it was too late now to change his mind. The treaties had sparked a conversation about whether they believed there actually could be a blight due to the false calling, with Thom being berated as he had suggested that a skilled diplomat could have used them regardless of the fact. A history lesson was scheduled for the two new Wardens (Warden and recruit) for when they returned back to the Castle, so that they wouldn’t accidentally insult the Warden order again.

There had been a momentary spat when Issy remarked that yet again it was a Warrior joining them, with Felix and Dorian getting uppity about being overlooked, before the three rogues bandied together in a passing moment of class solidarity, with “Well of course, Mages the overlooked group,” before counting loudly how many rogues they had in their now bloated group, with Charter then claiming the female decorated dwarf as an honorary rogue, which had Lu mentioning that she was a rogue, to which she gave him the customary two fingered response.

The now group of four Rogues and almost rogues, led the way back to the Crossroads with both Issy and Charter promising to teach her how to lockpick, and Varric not offering to let her use Bianca, even after she made pretty noises at him. The Crossroads welcomed them back with vigour, the area far more stable with the combination of more forces and their obliteration of the main threats in the region. The refugees now fed and clothed, reassured that they would be protected against marauding groups.

With the arrival of the cult, and the back up of Inquisition troops, skilled labourers were able to begin to repurpose the buildings and fort along the Kings Highway safely, with the Arl having sent down several healers to prop up the work being done by the Chantry. Word had come through from Redcliffe however that their presence was requested at their earliest convenience, which they had been stopped from responding with “after we’ve been to the Storm Coast”. 

Other messages had come through from Haven, this time addressed to the Couple, unlike the others which had all been dealt with quietly, requesting that the Couple would meet with a small group of married couples from Highever who would be travelling to the small township in Crestwood in preparation for the meeting. There had been no small amount of sniggering from the children in the group at this, until Charter had whispered something into Merrill’s ear who had in turn looked curiously at the small dwarf. Neither explained anything when questioned later, out of earshot of the married pair who had chosen to make use of the currently unoccupied Alchemist’s hut.


	9. More waiting...yay!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holding out for a hero - more awesome artwork. For a chapter about waiting there are a lot of words.

Having access to horses made life far easier, as it took far less time to travel to Redcliffe, even after wasting time wrangling all of their group up, having made a definite point of checking that they were no longer needed for any potential task. Having been reassured, when arriving at the castle there was a little… hesitation as they were then asked to wait until a package arrived. Still it gave them time to kill, taking a grieving widow out into the wilds to pay respects to his wife, a colourful ram that Rainier admitted to having seen, being returned to its owner, and other random idle tasks whilst they waited with what they believed to be great patience.

There was more knitting to be done, interspersed with various sessions in dungeons, on the end of piers, in ruined windmills, in tunnels and on battlements. Which was good, in all, it kept them out of the various discussions about the future, a future that wouldn’t include them. It also helped to ease out some of the underlying tension that had started to build up, the stress of travelling with so many unknowns all with the niggling at the back of the head was definitely starting to show. So whilst he was recovering from their sessions, she would set her anxious fingers to fine finger picking of tiny stitches, as she focussed on ribbing until he was repaired enough to go again.

It had grown to the point where the only time she was least niggly was when she wasn’t around the heroes, Rainier had little impact, nor did the two Tevinters, Charter and Adaar were darlings, as were the Avvar, but the others niggled far more so, but even for him, there was something that niggled. Not that they were objectionable, just that tiny stone in the sole of your shoe, that you can’t kick out for love nor money. Niggled, and ate at her patience.

Varric had been keeping track of all the little things they had been asked to do, with only the building of the watch towers which were already underway still outstanding. Which hadn’t exactly enthralled anyone, but had meant that no one was surprised to hear that the Crown had already send positive news through to the Chantry in Val Royeaux in payment, with Alistair muttering that Orlais didn’t deserve any help as he was chastised yet again for unnecessary comments by his Uncle.

They had received however, a request from the Royal couple, for their presence in Denerim before heading to Crestwood, which they sadly had to decline, as Hawke helpfully reminded them of the state of the place on their journey through. A message was sent offering to meet them up at the Stormcoast though Arl Teagan had not been as impressed with this dashing display of graciousness, in part due to the wheel of cheese he had to hand over to his grinning nephew at the response.

There had been talk about group bonding over killing the dragon, but after the Arl had caught wind, the Prince was banned from joining them, to which he sulked something fierce about missing out on a kill, so they chose not to. Agreeing quietly between themselves they would on their way out of the Castle instead once they were no longer his guests. 

Still the following day a dwarf and a human decked out in Warden regalia arrived, with the Couple having to be tracked down, having been ousted from the Castle for the day after Arl Teagan had walked in on them in the treasury using various statues as tools that meant he had to put them in the “to be donated to the Chantry” pile, rather than keep them. They had offered to take a couple off his hands as they had been pretty perfect for their uses.

When they were finally located, the Chantry sisters claimed nothing had happened, whilst tittering, the small building definitely singing with… something. Charter looked ravished, Adaar glowed satisfaction, Puppy had a wild look about him, Lu was utterly relaxed and his wife was prowling smugly as the three sisters were busy waving goodbye and trying to arrange future visits.

There were discreet questions as to whether apologies would need to be sent on to the Mother in nine months time, which was met with relative merriment. “We are all consenting adults, nothing happened that wasn’t wanted or requested” was as far as they could be drawn on it, and that was that.

Senior Warden Natia Brosca and Senior Warden Riordan were introduced to the group with not so subtle looking glances being passed as they ate and drank, before all the Wardens disappeared off with Rainier, for the remainder of the day, with Dorian attaching himself quite firmly to the Starkhaven amongst them after he’d been drawn back into singing. It wasn’t even as if he was even particularly good, but it pleased the women, who all sighed happily exchanging titters and snickers.

“Rylen…” he gave her a suspicious look, as she was leaning forward out of her chair, with Adaar’s hand on her back keeping her from toppling forward, as Lu was busy deep in conversation with Solas over the different god’s in Lu’s system that he had been writing up for them to see. Solas hadn’t looked overly impressed by the way the most fleshed out God was based on a demented deaf cat, but had fully engaged in the world building aspect with relish.

“If I wrote you a song, would you sing it? If I like, gave you the tune?” she gave her best wide eyed stare at him, as Issy started to encourage the situation.

“Or you could just sing it?” he groaned as she pouted at him.

“But, I don’t do it justice, and it needs justice doing,” she suddenly hushed herself, glancing round to see if Anders suddenly appeared, with Merrill giggling at her antics.

“But I don’t know the tune, and you haven’t written down the words, so, maybe another time?”

“Lu, lu, lu, I need to borrow some - no I know, VARRRIICCC” to which he swatted her on the back of the head.

“I’m behind you, like, you’ve been bashing me on and off throughout the harassment of our friend.”

“But you are busy cheating Hawke out of his hard earned monies, so, I need you to scribe for me, as penance.”

“I’m busy, and I’m in a committed relationship so you can’t womanly wiles me into doing what you want.” 

“Give me your book thing then, Lu’s busy with his thing” She saw him give her a wink, before continuing to explain about the idea of how the religions policed the society. 

“I’m busy, like you said, playing cards with Hawke.”

“You are cheating, Hawwkkkeeee, give me Varrics book?” Hawke was saved from having to choose between the saviour and his almost best friend, as Charter handed her a piece of paper and her trusty blue bit of lead, which earnt her an enthusiastic smooch.

“Alright so the tune is da da da da da da” they gave her a look that had her snickering so hard she was wheezing. “I’m kidding, it’s more like da de da de da” with Adaar smacking her on the back until she could breathe again.

“Alright, so, I can sing this, because like it’s the national anthem of one of our fair neighbouring nations, but it’ll sound much better from you.” She bit the tip of her tongue as she scribbled down the lyrics as best she could, humming loudly to stir the braincells every time she got stuck.

“We're a' met thegither here tae sit and tae crack,  
Wi' oor glasses in oor hands and oor wark upon oor back.  
There's no' a trade amang them a' could either mend or mak  
If it wisnae for the wark o' the weavers.  
Gin it wisnae for the weavers, what would we do?  
We wadnae hae clatih made o' oor woo',  
We wadnae hae a coat, na, neither black nor blue,  
Gin it wisnae for the wark o' the weavers.  
Now the hireman chiels they mock us and crack aye aboots,  
They say that we are thin-faced, bleached like cloots,  
And yet for a' their mockery they canna dae withoots,  
Na they winna want the wark o' the weavers.  
There's them that's independent o' ither tradesmen's work,  
The women need nae barber, the dykers need nae clerk,  
But nane o' them can dae wi'oot a coat or a sark,  
Aye they a' need the wark o' the weavers.  
Gin it wisnae for the weavers, what would we do?  
We wadnae hae clatih made o' oor woo',  
We wadnae hae a coat, na, neither black nor blue,  
Gin it wisnae for the wark o' the weavers.  
Now oor joiners and oor slaters, oor glaziers and a',  
Oor doctors and oor menisters and them that lead by law,  
And oor freends in Sooth Americay, tho' them we never saw,  
Yet we ken they wear the wark o' the weavers.  
Oor sodgers and oor sailors, we ken they're a' bold,  
But, faith, if they had nae claes they couldnae fecht for cold,  
The high and low, the rich and poor, a'body young or old,  
Aye they a' wear the wark o' the weavers.  
Gin it wisnae for the weavers, what would we do?  
We wadnae hae clatih made o' oor woo',  
We wadnae hae a coat, na, neither black nor blue,  
Gin it wisnae for the wark o' the weavers.  
Noo weavin' is a trade that never can fail,  
As lang as we need aye cloot tae keep a body hale,  
Sae let us a' get merry ower a bicker o' gud ale,  
And drink tae the health o' the weavers.”

They stared at her like she was mad as she handed over the mess of words, with Rylen especially squinting as he looked at her writing, and then at her. “No, just no”

“I’ll even sing it for you, just please?” 

“No, not tonight, “ and there it was, the slight admission that he would think about it, or that was how they were taking it, as he stuffed it into his belt, as Dorian snagged his attention away from more singing much to his relief, and to the jeering of the women.

The following morning was intense, as the four Wardens of the Blight disappeared again to have secret conversations, before Cullen was pulled in, and Fenris joining shortly after. However it gave the Couple permission to disappear off again, as they made the decision that they wouldn’t be leaving yet again, to the point where they were trying to work out how long it would actually be to get to Denerim and back, not in a day was the conclusion, even if they didn’t stop to spare the horses, which had them both snickering at a shared joke.

The Mage contingent, who had started to think of the female of the pair as not really one of them as she preferred to hang about with the rogues anyway, and Lu’s continual insistence that she wasn’t actually a mage, no matter how much hand waving she did, as she hadn’t touched the staff she’d been handed, for near on weeks, tucked themselves away with the senior Mages from the village. With everyone else playing in the water, bouncing between games, and “games” until they were all summoned back to say goodbye to the people they had been asked to wait for.

All of the Warden memorabilia that had been discovered was returning with the two Senior Wardens back to Amaranthine, as were the treaties with side glances to the Couple who had shrugged, the general consensus being that Warden history belonged with the Wardens and not on the back of a cart next to numerous bottles of wine. 

They had offered them the mosaic pieces for Denerim as a “gift”, after Teagan had declined them as not in keeping with the decor, which had raised eyebrows being that the decor was dogs. Alistair had taken the executive decision that the Palace wouldn’t truly appreciate the history of the pieces especially if the Queen was to find out where and how they had found some of them, so they were returned back in with the wine with Dorian donating some clothing to keep the wine protected.

More messages were sent out, with birds being sent in multiple directions before the group settled down to a night of idle conversation and light hearted debauchery, having expelled most of their energy in the water throughout the day. Still enough was left to good naturedly harass Arl Teagan who fluctuated between flirting and acting shocked.

Varric was relied on to spin tales of Kirkwall that hadn’t made it into any of his novels so far, Isabela prompting him with sexual experiences every time he took longer than a breath, attempting to make The Couple blush unsuccessfully.

It devolved into sharing the worst times someone had been caught in a compromising position. Isabela claiming that she had never been caught in a compromising position, as all positions she had been caught in had been nothing to be ashamed of. She was allowed by several people to retain this belief, who were more than able to pull out several examples where she had very much been put into such a position but unwilling to break the jovial tone of the evening.

Vicky had offered several of her own, with surprisingly red cheeks from her early days of a self confessed utterly precocious teen. Including a tale of being caught by her grandmother whilst an older lover was watching her fuck herself for him with a large, very bright pink toy. Then another of a discreet coupling, which turned out to be not so discreet as the bed had rocked loudly against the floor, and the muffled cries not so muffled after all, with everyone who had attended the party hearing everything. Lu shook his head as they looked at him, a much earlier lover indeed than their wonderfully torrid romance. 

Her final tale had been of being trapped in a bathroom at the tender age of eight with her best friend at the time who had decided he was curious about girls and had chased her round trying to kiss her while she was still very much against icky kissing at that stage. She had shared that as soon as puberty hit she was obsessed with pleasure and made up for her earlier reticence with abundance. She was in fits of giggles as Lu took the initiative to lean down and kiss her sloppily, mock squealing about icky boys before escaping to hide behind her girls. 

“You should tell us one about your sister?” she looked blankly at Cullen who had slipped into a more familiar position next to Lu, pinching her seat as Adaar tugged her onto her lap.

“Whose sister?” Lu shrugged, not looking overly keen at the idea of having to come up with a story on the spot but relatively willing.

“Jenny?” he sounded unsure, hovering for a moment before relaxing into Lu’s side as she merely nodded.

“If you really want, I mean if she was here she would for sure say you would as she is practically perfect in every way. So are we looking for one about how I warned Lu about meeting her for the first time? How she was with my male friends, or from when we were much younger children and her very rebellious ways where she was an absolute swine most of the time?” Lu grinned at her description, tugging Cullen into position beneath his arm.

“I would go for one about how she managed to fall out with her best friend on a very nice family holiday.” Cullen looked momentarily dismayed, before rallying.

“Perhaps you could share the first dreams you shared?” She looked at him with curiosity now, as the rest of the room was definitely obviously not paying attention whilst listening intently. It was rare that either of them shared anything that wasn’t based in a sexual encounter or instructional.

“Not how she cut her hair because she couldn’t wait for help to remove the fine braids that she’d pestered our parents to let her have put in, whilst me and mum had full length body massages, not that a twelve year old has a lot of undue stresses, but it still ranks as one of lifes defining moments. Then how she continued to cut it every time it stuck up, so much so we renamed her Tufty for several years?” there was a quickly masked sniggersnort from Alistair’s younger cousin who had begged to join in at meal times as soon as they arrived.

“You could share how we spent several evenings out with them friends and parents that is, where the main topic of conversation was how perfect she was in every way - or when her and Jean had a “perfect” off,” the look she gave her husband was one of veiled amusement, masked behind mock outrage at the insult to her sister.

“Or how she had an alter ego called Sarah Hill who would kick off every time “Mr Hill” aka my father would take us on walks round the flat countryside, which would invariably end up with hills, where he would promise that just round the corner it would either be the down bit, or flat and it was always more up,” she bit her lip hard, as he mouthed something at her.

Connor had crept closer to her, as he often tried to as soon as there was space, drawn like a moth to a flame. They had been warned repeatedly not to play with him by Teagan, and Connor had been gently spoken to by several people that no one would touch him, even if he asked, he was too young. It hadn’t however stopped his gravitation. She offered her hand to him, brushing his hair away as he curled up at her feet, slumping into her looking very much like the small child of a decade before to his relatives.

“You know a girl could get upset about people wanting to know about her sister rather than themselves,” her tone teasing as Adaar shuffled to get her situated more comfortably, with Connor shuffling back into position as soon as they’d stilled.

“Please Tris, the one about the moon?” her fingers stilled for a moment, eyes flashing up to meet her husbands who met hers with a bland expression, he knew exactly which one Connor was referring to, it was one she had shared with him only after 6 years of being together, she had been so embarrassed by it.

“I see… that one huh, one from my days of youth before I started devouring books for inspiration, the very first one I knowingly shared.” she mused, rolling her eyes at the soft giggle from Merrill who had also crept closer to settle by her feet.

“I want no judgment here, the later dreams were far more intricate and complex, and had much better names, but the first was… I was very young.” she’d turned an almost fetching pink as she mulled over the words required to be able to share the tale in a way that could be understood, and that wouldn’t have her dying of embarrassment.

“You say that dear, but you have been sharing with all and sundry that my name is Meany Lu, aka Lu the Mean,” she pulled a face at him.

“It’s a genius name, it's both accurate and descriptive.”

“It’s on accurate when I don’t let you have your own way, and we both know if you got your own way all the time you’d be bored beyond existence,” She scoffed before blowing him a kiss.

“Alright, once again, no judgment.” she visibly steeled herself, taking a slow drawn in breath before painting a smile on her face, “Imagine if you will, a world, our world, where there is only one moon. A moon that man has managed to reach with ships built to leave the land and go up into the heavens,” she raised her hand up into the air, staring up at the ceiling, before starting to sketch out some rough drawings as she continued to speak.

“Now, knowing that people had been on the moon, because it was something that all of us were told from an early age, a thing to aim for, you can be whatever you want to be, you can even walk on the moon, and childlike images of how it happened, I shall set the scene. We have two sisters, one older than the other by two and a half years, who shared a room, in bunk beds, which are beds that stack on top of each other,” there had been a slight “really” look from Dorian as she had started to explain with her hands, and then her drawings, Dorian stopping her going off on a tangent about how it worked instead of telling the story.

“Both were still very young, Jenny would have been no more than three when we started it, and I would have just started school at five. And at this age, we were both made to go to bed at the same time, which as all older children will attest to, is so unfair, in fact its unfair all the way along, you have to fight for everything, and then the younger just gets handed it. I digress.

“Jenny would be on the bottom bunk, because she wasn’t trusted to be able to clamber up the ladder (which hurt the feet I will just say) up to the top, nor not to then fall out by leaning over the edge like a monkey. Jenny had a habit of kicking at the top as she struggled to stay awake, as all young children who refuse to do as they are told are want to do, and I on the top, having to deal with small feet pushing at the mattress underneath me. And she would keep it up forever and a day unless distracted. I already had an active imagination, even at that young age, so would start to spin tales to distract her from leaving me bruised.

“The first one we shared, the very first one I remember sharing that is, that worked at the very least was a story of how when we went to sleep at night, we would then travel to our moon to attend school there.” her cheeks radiated embarrassment, puffing them out before letting out a pent out laugh, “Fuck it, so yes, at the tender age of five and three, the most amazing thing we could think of was to spend our nights going to another planet, sorry, it’s not a planet, it’s a satellite? going to school, which was the most incredible thing ever.

“It would start with the countdown, because the countdown to going to the moon was important, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3,2, 1 and blast off. Some nights she would be asleep before we reached 1, others would have us landing on the moon before her dreams would hit.” she scratched at her forehead, groaning as Connor whispered something that had Merrill giggling. “Ok yes, the school, in the dream we shared, we called the school Belly Moon High, because, look I don’t even really know why, we just did, maybe it’s because the moon looks like a belly, or because we thought belly’s were funny. Happy now scamp?” She pressed a kiss to his forehead to take the heat out of her words, as he beamed happily back, adulation surrounding him in a warm glow.

“Yes I know Varric, but I was five, High School was a mythical place that adults went to, because adults were everyone who was more than three years older than you at that age. It seemed fitting, and I’m going with the moon was round like a belly. We would dream about lessons, and friends, and homework because it was exciting. We would spend hours every night for months going back again and again, playing in the world. Sometimes we’d pick up from where we left off, other times it would be completely different. 

“We stopped going as frequently as I learnt to read, and more so as we grew older and school became less fantastic and more mundane, an evil that would stop you from spending hours in the garden or on the farm, or chase land. Still the dream itself, it has a special place for us in our childhood.” She found herself clung onto by Connor, breathing heavily, as she lightly ran her hands up and down his back in a soothing manner looking a little confused by the situation.

“So Tranq, do you dream?” Cullen turned his head to coyly gaze at the man who had him cocooned against him, which was met with more suspicious narrowing of the eyes, and a gentle swat to the back of his head.

“No, I created a world though, a decently complex one at that, but nowhere I can visit by myself, it’s ever changing as things work and don’t. Makes it difficult for Vicky to grasp onto fully, though she’s managed to embrace bits that are so utterly and completely, the bits that are classed as non canon.” she gave a contented smirk.

“Is anything canon currently? As fast as you decide something the whole thing changes, I at least have the parts we’ve played in written down, and those we have visited, so until you stop all the changes it’s far more canon than any of your current world states.” 

“Nowhere in my world is there room for a Printing press shop owning Dragon, or the White Witch with her pet Aslan,” his tone was disgruntled even as he winked at her.

“Hilda was perfectly acceptable on the canal boat for a whole week, and you not once said otherwise, even when we spent easily days with them. I even abided by your stupid “it takes lots of time to shapeshift in and out of dragon form” but you admitted it worked, thus canon. Anyway, you wouldn’t let me play as Ryder in the latest campaign.”

“No, I didn’t let you play a teenage delinquent walking round in Beats just because it amused you, in a world that is much like this one, well, sort of like this one.” She pointed her finger at him in victory.

“SO, that means the fact you didn’t stop me being Jardis or Hilda, that it was canon, or is canon,” he mock growled at her.

“When you have finished writing down all the rules, it would be interesting to see how it plays,” She nodded at Solas, who had already spent time talking with him about it previously.

“He’s pretty good, and it’s a pretty neat world, nice and complex if you want that kind of thing, but pretty open and easy too. Like, Hilda and “Mr Likeable” when we were on a canal boat, he set it up so four thugs walked into the shop for protection money, and Mr Likeable then made up a whole spiel about how we already were under the protection of a gangster named Tony B, and from there we spent a week convincing a whole town that must have been what, ten times bigger than Redcliffe, if not more, that a new player had come to town was in play. It was a lot of fun, and he didn’t even shout at us once for it. Because there was no way that was the outcome he was expecting from that first meeting. Like I said, pretty good.”

“Thanks dear, damned with faint praise as ever,”

“Really though, I’m pretty sure his real passion for it is the tinkering of the rules, how to make the characters balanced, so that if someone was to say deliberately try and make the worst ever build, it wouldn’t completely screw everyone else over. And the world is reactive, we kill almost everyone in the first village, the second village will then be wary or outright hostile. The only trouble comes when there are too many of you, and then it’s so frigging slow, but smaller groups are a lot of fun, as long as everyone wants to play.The only limit is your own imagination, and whether you get caught trying to cheat.”

“I assume dear, that you are cheating all the time, and sometimes I am pleasantly surprised when you don’t.” She beamed at him.

“I aim to please my love.”

Rylen had snagged the drawing that had been making its way around the room, “We have other implements for drawing than that one thing you insist on using,” she winked at him, stuffing the blue pencil she’d stolen from Charters supplies back in Haven.

“Where’s the fun in that. Surely it’s better if everything looks the same” he grinned at her, stealing it back after everyone who had expressed an interest had seen it, he had taken to keeping all of her artwork as he called it in a safe place, amusing them no end, relatively sure they would end up being used to embarrass her at a much later stage.

Varric pounced on Lu, pestering him to write down his world, engaging with Solas about how best to work it to sell to the masses, as a form of income that might be used for whatever they wanted, from Inquisition coffers, to buying socks for orphans. 

Riordan stopped them both as they were making noises to head to bed, having reached the limit of none touching time, with the Warden asking permission to hug them both. They granted permission with an odd look, as he hugged each of them with a shuddering breath and whispered gratitudes, before retreating away rapidly. Brosca had given a small shallow bow before both of them, before wrapping each of them up in a lightning fast hug before darting off, leaving them both looking puzzled. Neither Warden was apparent in the morning as the group sorted themselves out to depart for Crestwood.

Teagan however was very vocal, as he argued with Connor and Fiona over Connor’s insistence that he was travelling with the group to Crestwood. Fiona had suggested that Connor act as a liason for the Mages, so that if they were needed to help with the fade breach issues later on, it would be easier to arrange. Teagan pointed out that they had plenty of Mages already, and all they needed to do was send a bird with the message, or even an actual courier, than send his nephew out into danger.

The Couple refused to be involved, sensing that there was more to the situation than family disapproval. It had been Alistair suggesting that perhaps Connor would prefer to not be in the middle of Redcliffe, and that he was at little risk travelling with a large group of highly trained adventurers, at least until they met up with his Brother at the Stormcoast, where he could be shipped back to Denerim at that point. Connor, on seeing Teagan’s refusal then had tried to sign up to being a Warden, which was promptly declined by Duncan even as Alistair was making helpful “see this is how far he’ll go to leave here” noises. 

They had to all sit through long lectures on how Connor was young and naive, and that if anything happened to him then Teagan would use everything in his power to make sure that they met the full weight of his wrath. And then Connor was given a long lecture on the fallacy of crushes, which would have had more impact if he hadn’t gotten his own way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wark o the Weavers - by Ewan MacColl - I can sing it, I can sing it badly but I can sing it. I can also sing "when you gooooo willl you send back a letterrrrrr from Amerrrriicccaaaa" to seals on the sands of the sound on Islay which is my spiritual home. And they even respond if only to wonder what the barking mad woman is doing. 
> 
> So, I managed to get way ahead rewriting than where I thought I would be, so to get back in line of not having the whole thing written and then i forget to upload it (not that I would) I chose to not be 7 chapters ahead but merely four. Four is a buffer right of having stuff Vicky edited >.>


	10. Rain Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crestwood - it's rainy yo. The gang meet up with two new people. Not a massive amount happens really. Oh and there are talks of mounting an invasion to Orlais.

They didn’t swing by the Dragon on their way to Crestwood, the lecture from Teagan still fairly fresh at the back of their minds, and the idea of having to report back straight away the young mans demise at the mouth of a Dragon they’d been banned from fighting was perhaps a step too far.

Crestwood however, was miserable. The protective shield around the group did nothing to dry the road, the horses and cart churning it up so much they had to take it in turns as to the order of the group to keep the horses as fresh as they could be. It did little to soothe fractious tempers, as they walked straight into a rift, several groups of bandits, some Tevinter cultists, rabid wildlife and of course, what better way to round it all up, but undead.

The only brightspot had been the incessant rain making it easier for Lu to breathe without all the rubbish the healing mages pushed onto him in the Hinterlands, although he insisted on sticking to copious amounts of tea, with Varric in particular joining him with large drams of whiskey thrown in, to warm the bones naturally. 

They made their way to see the Herbalist first, who had originally requested aid, and it had been highly helpful, her location perfectly situated so that they were able to spot several immediate threats. She’d even been able to share the location of the Dam controls that would need to be used to drain the lake to access the largest rift outside of the breach that they had come across so far, as it flickered ominously from underneath the murky surface. She was also able to inform them as to where several Wardens had hidden in the hills near to where they had entered the region, having spotted them on her gathering missions.

They chose to go south first, clearing up another small rift, and dispatching a Dragon that had been feasting on the remains of a bandit camp, with Connor being told repeatedly not to tell Teagan that he had joined in, the official story would be that Connor had been tucked up safely nowhere near the fight with Alistair, instead of Alistair trying to climb onto the beasts back, and Connor dancing around in front of it’s head cheering his cousin on. Still the beast had been fun, the overall mood lifting, with quiet plans to maybe head back via the other Dragon being considered as a valid team building experience.

A quarry was noted down, then a quick scramble up to the Dams walkway, skirting round the Keep that had bandits barricaded inside, another decision to head straight for the controls before clearing out the small fort, as they argued at how long exactly it would take to drain the lake behind it. Felix had a fair idea, or at least he did as with an impressive noise the gates opened to let the water flow out, as he and Lu used their educations to estimate how long it would actually take. 

The noise had also summoned some of the bandits to investigate, which the group used as an opening to gain access to the Fort, quickly decimating the walled in foes, this time the warriors being the victors as the narrow hemmed in walls left it difficult to gain any distance. Most of the bandits choosing death to the offer of surrender, as they secured the Keep, the Royal Flag being raised to signal to the small township that it was safe for the troops that had been sent to help protect from the undead threat to take control back. As they doubled back, choosing to investigate the Warden situation before being forced into whatever rubbish the Highever married couples had planned for them.

Duncan and Alistair taking point, whilst the others investigated the area around, managing to find the wyvern Judith had warned them about, guarding a bottle of Antivan spirit which had Fenris and Dorian nodding in joint support for the creatures choice of treasure. Merrill yet again found herself in the situation of discovering the most bizarre items, a chield, or a cheese shield that was admired, mocked and stashed away to be given to the dutiful Prince as soon as he returned to them. Stashed as Vicky had offered to deal with it, with a gleam in her eye that had her husband retrieve it before she could lob it somewhere.

They sent the pair of them off to locate their two missing members, reappearing shortly after with two more, with Lu painstakingly explaining that no, he wasn’t just taking his wife's side, but that he genuinely didn’t think that invading Orlais right now was a good plan, no matter how sensible people felt it was as an idea.

Senior Wardens Stroud and Mac Tir were then introduced to the group, who had already started to set up camp for the night after the shouting died down from the cave where the Wardens had been hiding, with Anders embracing the former gladly, and doing a weird half hug shoulder bump with the latter, whilst looking highly embarrassed.

“Alright, before anything else is said, like I said to the Prince, and I reiterate now, plainly, we are not going to let anyone invade Orlais. If it comes down to it, it will be just us, me and Lu, by ourselves, I will gag you if you don’t calm down you royal pain in my behind.” She pulled Alistair down firmly, seating him by her side, a firm grip on the back of his neck. “Now, it would appear that these gentlemen have information as to the Warden aspect of our set piece.

“It would appear that this is an Orlesian Warden debacle, which is why yet again we are not going to immediately invade Orlais because Wardens are not political, so act independently of the country? So just because they are playing silly buggers doesn’t give us the right to set off in full force. Now, Clarel, who is Duncan’s equivalent - that’s right, yes?” she tilted her head, fingers squeezing as Alistair opened his mouth, loosening them as he closed it again, “Has called for all Wardens to head to Orlais under the impression that whatever is planned will end all blights forever.” Anders was busy whispering furiously with Stroud, Hawke half listening as he paid attention to them both.

“Now as we are already aware, thanks to these good people here, we already know of how they are all experiencing what in Warden terms is called The Calling. Clarel has come up with the wonderful and genius idea that if they use blood magic and demons, they can assault the Deep Roads and drive out all Darkspawn. Now, before anyone else tries to suggest that the best course of action is to invade Orlais, I will kindly invite you to shut up.” It was reasonably clear she meant more Alistair who was looking mulish.

“So, are we supposed to ignore this sheer stupidity? If they are involved with Corypheus then they must be stopped.”

“Thank you for that Solas, no, we are not planning on ignoring it, it's a serious concern, even if the worst that happens is that they wipe themselves out, and I pray to anything that’s listening that is the worst that can happen. They have holed themselves up in the Western Approach, which is about as far as you can get from us currently whilst still remaining in Orlais, so the idea of not only travelling across to investigate but also taking a small force. And lets be honest here, we’ll want to take a blasted army if these two say everyone bar Duncan’s wardens have been called in, has heeded the call, what with Warden superiority and all that jazz.

“We need to be invited, no two ways around it. We, who have been working with the rebellious Fereldens openly, with the Mages, not with the Chantry, we who have managed to piss off Val Royeaux without even managing to get there yet. Demons remember, unnatural, awful, and we aren’t even human, can you imagine it, the so called heroes not even having the decency to appear human.

“So no, it will take time, and not only will it take time for us, but it should take time for the Wardens too, there is no way you can move the amount of people that we’re talking about quickly, it’s not like moving an army from Denerim to Redcliffe, you are talking about small groups scattered everywhere. Our priority will be to gain enough of an in to convince the Orlesians that we aren’t going to try and carve our their territory as we tramp across most of it. And that won’t leave us exposed to being counterattacked, not that we are attacking them of course. Because that would be majorly shitty. So it’s going to be a diplomatic nightmare, and one that if we had been aware of from the beginning, we could have done more to avoid.” she looked at Lu with a strained expression. 

“I mean you were a little… terse with the Mother, but you seemed to get on perfectly well with the Sisters,” she grimaced as Dorian spoke, her fingers digging into Alistair enough that he flinched, settling back down as she rubbed it better.

“I mean, we could just send a letter to the Empress telling her how lovely she looks and maybe it will all be better?”

“A fruit basket often works,” he managed to half bow at her from sitting down.

“Orlais isn’t stable at present, it will take more than just the Empress to agree, her cousin will either need to go, or be convinced as well.” Charter offered, apologetic as both of the couple groaned.

“Maybe we should have been less… aggressive, and more treating them like matronly aunts, cherished ones.” Lu was now running his hand over his horns as the others who had actually been at Haven looked away, as Dorian became more intrigued.

“Exactly what did you do?”

“Technically? Nothing wrong, just, we were, perhaps a little combative when it came to expressing ourselves.” Vicky had her mouth tightly closed, as Charter gently bodged her.

“They expressed themselves in peaceful protest, they weren’t aggressive, or not that I witnessed, and we spent the most time with them.” Adaar helpfully added, with Rylen making noises that sounded like agreement.

“We adjusted perhaps badly, under the circumstances. And then doubled down on our behaviour, instead of choosing to take a step back and acknowledging how it might appear.”

“We had sex, loudly and openly wherever we felt like it, and challenged the hypocrisy of the Chancellor when he called us demons. And by we, I mean realistically it was me, I had promised a sexual fantasy for Lu, and had decided regardless of everything else that was what was going to happen. And then after I got really pissed off, we went and pretty much desecrated the entire Chantry building, pretty much out of spite, on my behalf anyway, for most of an afternoon until we were finally found - I thought after we did it in the vestibule bit for sure that was when we would be found but no. By the time they did find us even I had forgotten the reason for using the building. And then doubled down more so when he was screaming at us.” she gave him a stretched smile.

“So, yes, probably not having sex in the ruins of the Temple didn’t help either - but then when we knew for definite we were stuck here for the long haul, should have been more forgiving and obliging to the overall status quo. And then we should, I should have been more gracious to the Mother, I’m not very good with organised religion, so my first response is to be difficult.” she wrinkled her nose, with Lu shrugging.

“You didn’t have sex by yourself, and it’s not like I wasn’t as fully aware of where we were, or why we were where we were. You're not the only rebellious one in this marriage dear.” 

“You had sex in a Chantry building, and you were discovered?” Dorian looked somewhat disbelieving, to which Charter scoffed.

“We just did again, but with Sisters, of course they did, and none of us stopped them, because…” she petered out looking helplessly at Adaar who shrugged, before Cullen spoke up.

“Because regardless of what else happened on the day of them waking up, they acted with no aggression towards us, even after they were threatened and coerced. They willingly split themselves up to aid as many of us as they could, Vicky saved my life, in the most embarrassing way possible and didn’t mention it at all. And then whilst we were all staring like idiots they took it upon themselves to act alone, and took down a great big Pride demon. The reward for which was a chantry led assination attempt.” she blew him a kiss, as he rolled his eyes at her, flushed with embarrassment.

“They were easy enough to watch as well, I mean, actually watch, didn’t try and hide once. Charter will be able to tell you, they were always pretty polite with us, tell you where they were going, and talked to us, like had conversations, treated us like friends rather than jailors, which made life easier.” 

“You were just doing your jobs, now if you’d been doing it off your own bats, like treating us like suspicious things maybe we would have been less accommodating about it…”

“Even so, you could have been combative or aggressive, and no one would have blamed you. And maybe you could have been less… in your face, you kept out of the village, so it’s not like you were deliberately carrying on in front of people after the breach was slowed.” Rylen scuffed the ground with his heel, dodging the gaze from Lu.

“Maybe you couldn’t have gone and deliberately defiled the Chantry, but if we are completely honest, from the moment you woke up, there was no way that they were going to support you, or perhaps even before.”

“Perhaps, we’ll never know now, no do overs after all.” an awkward silence, too many woulda coulda shouldas running through their minds.

“I believe we need to send word through to Haven, the Crown and the forces in Amaranthine, to alert them to the news and what we suspect we will have to face. Until we hear of an actual workable plan to descend into Orlais we are staying well away. It’s not like between us, the Writer, the Champion, the Commander, the Prince, Hero Wardens and the Admiral there is no way we can possibly sneak anywhere without being rumbled immediately.” Lu broke the silence, gesturing to them all, with Issy looking pleased with her notoriety.

“Also, we also still have things to do here, we agreed to solve as many of the problems in the region as we could, and up on the Coast, these are just as important to the people who live here as a plot legions away that may take months if not years to come into fruition.” Lu nodded at Fenris as he spoke.

“That is another thing, there are still rifts out there, which will need closing, and the Breach, and things that people need to happen, which are being ignored for whatever reason, be it political, monetary or other, that we as completely independent individuals can do without little real issue, for as long as you all are bored in your normal lives.”

“Who doesn’t enjoy playing hero, and getting laid at every possible opportunity?” Issy cheered at Hawke, who had wriggled in between his lover and the new Warden.

“Alright people, sleep tonight, other than that we head to the town, which I am against because I don’t trust us not to end up needing to be nice to people first thing in the morning, and I’m not sure I can deal with that without a good nights sleep. I take it our two new guests are joining us until we reach the Coast? Where we can ship them off to Brosca or wherever Duncan deems necessary, cos I take it you are absconding properly from Clarel’s batshit command to Duncans?” he nodded at her, as the men murmured agreement. 

“Great, I shall leave you in Duncan’s very capable hands, we’ll have to sort horses out at the town but we should have enough wiggle room to double up, if we take the dainty ones and match them up.” she stood up, exchanging a glance with her husband as she kept a tight hold onto Alistair, who hadn’t pulled away but had a sulky expression on his face. 

“Puppy, can you keep my wonderful husband company tonight, he gets cold feet very easily when he doesn’t have his sun to leach from.” leaving with Alistair before anyone had a chance to object, with Lu starting up a new loud conversation about how he and Amund could share being the daintiest amongst them, Adaar joining in that in that case her and Puppy would too, with a resulting comparison between all the warriors as to whom was the most dainty, whilst the others catcalled and ignored in equal measure the goings on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo... next chapter is pretty long. Had to split it up.


	11. A Night of Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where all the history is explained and it turns out that actually the couple aren’t amazing at being secret agents after all
> 
> Also where we discover that the couple use the style of "helicoptering" as a parents.

She had released Alistair's neck, allowing him to stand whilst her grip became a vise around his sword hand instead, pulling him back into the cave where the arguments had first started to happen, making sure to slam the painted skull door shut behind him.

“I want you ready to seep, I expect you to do so without speaking, because I really don’t want to hear it, you may lie down as soon as you are able to,” She didn’t spare him a glance as she pulled the bedrolls the two fugitive wardens had been using together, her tone flat with just the faintest hint of menace lingering underneath,

She’d pulled off the tunic she’d taken to wearing, lobbing it over her shoulder so it landed on the neat pile of armour, pulling her hair out of the looped up braid Adaar had convinced her to wear after she’d threatened to lop it all off after it had tried to strangle her whilst swimming for the nth time. Her fingers scrubbing through her scalp with a satisfied moan, then ducking around the bedrolls, naked as a babe before turning and rubbing her back against the cave wall, itching behind her shoulders like a bear, against a particularly nice pointy bit of rock.

After scraping what felt like two inches of skin from her back, she finally allowed him her gaze, as he stood in front of the rolls, half belligerent, half petrified as he’d stripped to a tunic and leggings, challenging her to say something like a naughty child.

“Either you are ready in which case lie down, or you aren’t and you need to finish off and then lie down,” he flinched as she stepped around him, crawling face down onto the bedroll closest to the door. “Sooner you sort yourself out, sooner we can have a chat Princeling.”

He dithered for another moment, before making a decision tugging his remaining articles of clothing off, leaving only his small clothes on, before following her down, face first as she had done. Then pouting as she immediately swiped his tunic, pulling it on as an oversized night shirt, looking supremely pleased with herself as she wriggled happily down into it.

“You need to talk, like it’s obvious that you have something you want to say or ask or both, so have at it. This is the only time I will not pull you over the coals about it as well, probably, so go for it young Prince. Do you understand?” She looked at him seriously, “I don’t want to break you, but if you continue to be stupid I will do what I need to, your safety is important not only to them, but to us.”

He wriggled under her gaze, before stilling with a deep breath, “It’s hard,” ducking his gaze he stared hard at the cave wall instead before a hesitant, “Ylsa?”

“Alistair,” her tone was firm and her gaze steady as he trembled at her answer.

“Tris?”

“Alistair,”

“Arianwen, Ellspeth, Sagara”

“Alistair,”

“Please, Malignia, Nikira?”

“Alistair,”

He made a breaking sound, as they stayed in a moment, “You don’t know us, you have no memory from before, of us, of?” she shook her head, before grimacing, rolling over onto her side, leaving herself open for him to come closer.

“Nightmare demon ate the memories, or so Solas has led us to believe. I can tell you that the names you just used are all names I’ve used for different places, different dreams and games.” she chewed on her lip for a moment, “I can tell you that you niggle at me, if that helps at all, you more than the others, but the some of the others niggle too, Cullen, Duncan, Varric does too, and Fenris, he’s very niggly almost but not as much as you and Cullen.” he made the noise again, moving into her side, wrapping her completely with his body, clinging to her like a lifeline whilst she ran soothing hands down his back.

“I knew, I knew as soon as we arrived in Haven, and you swanned in like you always did, without a care in the world even as you were being yelled at, Tris, Arianwen. Like I had seen you do hundreds and thousands of times before. You even look the same, you always did, as far back as I can remember, always the same, mainly always the same.” He hid his face in her hair, snuffling.

“You didn’t recognise us though, and it hurt, the look of polite dismissal, like we were strangers to you, like I was a stranger. But then you followed, you followed and you cared and it was like when I was young and you’d make everything better, and the blanket…”

She made a faint whistling noise, chewing on the inside of her cheek mulling over his words before speaking. “The dreams, they can recur, not often, but sometimes they do. I can tell you horror stories of being forced into a nightmare realm with all the people I hate the most while the world burns around me, and wasn’t that a fun one to keep ending back up in as I tried to work out how to end it. I’ve had dreams where I return but each time it’s different, at a different point and it plays out a different route. So I don’t disbelieve that I have been here before, and if that's the case, I can’t discount that after all this is over I could return. However, I don’t remember any of it, nothing of this world, this place, nothing beyond niggles, so I find myself apologising for not remembering you.”

“When I was a boy,” she chuckled softly, with him squirming in embarrassment, “I’m a seasoned hero prince now, I’ll have you know, bards tell great tales of my heroism and stature. When I was a boy though, I used to tell everyone that you were my mother,” her eyes closed, steeling for a second before pressing a soft kiss on his cheek, her thumbs wiping the moisture that had rolled from his eyes.

“You were though, you raised me, you protected me, you fought for me. When Eamon brought his new bride to Redcliffe and she tried to get rid of me, you stood between like an avenging fury, even as she did everything she could to try and get rid of you. You didn’t even let them torment me for being addled as I swore black was blue that you had birthed me, even as I outgrew you, even as they told me of my true father.” He paused, his body trembling, as he continued in an ashamed whisper.

“Even as I cursed you for letting them take me away, as I threw the amulet they gave me from the woman who had lain with Maric at your face. You took care of me even as I refused to let you hug me goodbye as they took me away, you gave them a blanket for me to take that smelled of you, of home, of the safety, a blanket you had forced them to promise to let me keep. And then after I’d left, you left” he blew his nose on the scrap of material she thrust at him, as she kept quiet as he tried to regain his words.

“I didn’t even know, for years, I didn’t even know that you were gone, not until I asked to visit just before Duncan came for me. And I found out you had left, and no one really knew where you had gone too, just that you’d left without saying a thing. I hated you for sending me away for so long, for leaving me like I thought everyone else had, but when I was old enough to know that it hadn’t been you who had sent me away, that you had as much control over it as I had, you weren’t even there for me to say sorry too. And then now, now I realise you hadn’t even left me, but how could I have known at the time, that the dwarf, the dwarf who was rumoured to be a retired assassin, was then a human, a tall human Templar, who took the angry brat from Redcliffe in hand and made him into something you would have been proud of.” She kept very quiet at this, unwilling to break his chain at the possible theories this threw up.

“Ellspeth and Matthienne, Lu right?” She nodded, it was a name Lu had used as often as she did Ellspeth, and she had only taken a few with her in dreams, or so she believed. She distracted herself from speaking by using a corner of the scrap of material to wipe his eyes properly. “Utterly devoted to each other, strict as anything, taught me everything I need to know about fighting properly” he bit his lip with a sly grin, “Arianwen taught me how to escape, and lots of very dirty moves, but nothing I owned up to knowing in front of my Templar trainers, naturally.

“They, you, also taught us about strategy, that blasted chess board Matthienne liked to play with, and how to use my skills effectively. You had Cullen well in hand too, treating us the same, making us into brothers as you worked us harder than anyone else, and then when it came time to take the vows, you encouraged Duncan to steal me away.” he rolled his shoulders, steeling himself again.

“You taught us everything you could, above and beyond what we should have been learning, and you wouldn’t let us take lyrium, even as we started to pester about it. You even made us write home, encouraging us to go against what the others were taught. And then Duncan came along, for promising young recruits who would be ripe for plucking into the Wardens, just as our training was coming to an end. Duncan told me, months after the joining, about all the letters you had sent through to various warden safe houses, extolling our virtues, slipping in secrets you should never have known about to entice, to down right begging as you grew more concerned.

“He even saved them for when I was older after I’d tried to destroy them as being proof of being rejected by another authority figure. I was always angry, even after years of being taught to be considerate with my actions and the first response is petty spite. Cullen -” she put her fingers over his lips hushing him.

“Cullen’s story is his own princeling, when he wants to tell it, he will, it’s not yours to share. I can hardly blame you though, if I did have a hand in raising you, I still act with petty spite, and I am by all accounts much older than you.” she gave him a bland look that had him slipping back into a boyish grin.

“Anyway, Mathienne and Ellspeth were sent away in disgrace after it all came out, according to Cullen, and it was rumoured that the blight had caught you on route to being retrained at Aeonar. Skip forward then to meeting up with a large group of Grey Warden’s who had gathered at Duncan’s behest as the rumblings of a Blight started to spread, and there you are again. Both of you, Tris and Tranq, a dwarf and a human, these two bright burning spots in a sea of Grey. Tranq in fairness didn’t look a bit like Mathienne, but you, you look the same now as then, and as I can see now without my childish gaze, as in my youth.” he’d broken out into a genuine grin now, releasing her to lean back and stare at the ceiling whilst reminiscing. 

“The pair of you would vanish off for days at a time, and return bruised and battered, laughing like lunatics as you’d spin tales of wiping out entire nests of Darkspawn just because you were bored. You would wander round without a care in the world as everyone else was panicking about nightmares and the creeping darkspawn threat, with you bouncing a ridiculous maul around like the one Lu likes to carry around. And he would play with fireballs, flinging them at you whilst you cackled like a mad woman, hitting them off into the sky like it was a game, because it was for you two. All of it was, and it was infectious for us younger ones.

“You were banned from us though, the new juniors, you were far too reckless, too irreverent, too flippant for the weary old Wardens. Banned until they needed the respectable ones to go off and recruit, and then suddenly you were let loose on us. I can’t remember a time of feeling more scared and excited as you took us off on training exercises. You wouldn’t let us stop for a chance to breathe after they all abandoned us again, you had us up at the crack of dawn, marching, fighting, quizzing until we were dropping like flies at the end of the day.” He let out a happy snort, reaching out to entwine his fingers in hers.

“We hated you so much, so Maker damn much, as you would force us to run up and down in full armour carrying out packs with weapons out. The locals would just laugh at us, jeering every time we faultered which only made us hate you more as we were forced to prove ourselves, us, the mighty Wardens, who had jelly legs. And you were like blasted nugs every time we stopped, no shame at all as to where you would start up with each other, someone even claimed they caught you doing it in the firepit.” she snickered, as he grinned back through red cheeks. 

“Another thing to thank you for, sex was not scary after being forced, no, not forced, exposed to seeing it in so much detail on such a regular basis, and then having to listen to long detailed explanations as someone would be brave enough to ask you something under the pretense of trying to embarrass. It did make it easier, you know, not having to worry about what to do.” she made a faintly motherly aww noise as he ducked and squirmed.

“Well… anyway, when we got word that Duncan was returning and the others had already started to, you took us off to Ostagar. You had us training with the Royal Armies, where we felt very special after all the forced training, as they were working to keep up with us, rather than what would have been the other way round. But you’d disappear off with Mac Tir, randomly, only to return hours later with odd faces, it was strange to see because you’d just been playing up until then, and then I’d see you look worried, and that was worse than when the others worried. 

“When Duncan sent me off with Brosca and the other new recruits, when we met with Morrigan” his face screwed up at the name, “For the first time, you two had taken it upon yourselves to head into the tower and you fought your way down to the deep roads entrance and collapsed it. The day before we were heading into battle, just the two of you, returning bloodied, battered and bruised and looking more worried than ever.” He took a deep breath, clenching down on her fingers.

“Then that blasted battle, my fool brother setting himself up for greatness as he ignored everything Duncan, Mac Tir, every one who had the least bit of sense had said about needing more troops, that it was a fools errand, a lost cause. Our part was simple, we skipped up to the top of the tower without a care in the world, barring a desire to be down in the thick of it, waiting for the signal. Looking down at the sheer number of darkspawn that had swarmed, that our armies were trying to fight valiantly, mice trying to fend off a cat, so utterly overwhelming the way it looked like it was over.

“The signal went up, and we lit the brazier, and it was chaos, the darkspawn seemingly doubled. Then, there you were, you and Tranq riding into the thick of it with Mac Tir’s forces, cutting through like a hot knife through cheese, the call to retreat, to fall back, not to attack. The battlefield lighting up with explosions as fireballs hit hidden pitch and oil barrels. You, this tiny dwarf, launching yourself into an Ogre that was trying to disembowel Cailan, punching through it so quickly, saving him, saving Duncan, saving them and others even as Cailan was threatening to have you executed for your betrayal.

“Duncan said the look on his face as you knocked him out after he started screaming at everyone to stay on the field as you were all trying to get everyone to safety, was one he cherished each time he was forced to sit through a Royal Meeting. And the look on yours, yours and Tranqs, as you and Mac Tir took over was frightening, the promise that you would save as many as you could regardless of whether they wanted it or not, proved by knocking out the King.

“And then we lost you, the pair of you staying back to quell the tide, destroying the ruins blocking off the roads long enough for us to make our retreat. Flemeth saving us from the top of the tower after the blasted spawn trapped us. Morrigan then being made to join us until we rejoined the bulk of the forces, all while we are at a loss as to what had just happened, and starting to share “remember when” stories about you two. And then there you are, busy tormenting Lothering, stealing us Leliana and a Qunari, dumping them on Duncan before disappearing off again to clear the way for the evacuation of the place.

“So when Hawke thanked us, back at Haven, thanked us for saving them, I wanted to tell him what had really happened. How we were only doing something because we were chasing after you two idiots, who had decided to take on the whole blight by yourselves to get the refugees to safety. Even Bethany thinks we acted as we did because of our noble cause, instead you seemed to be the only ones who had a clue as to what to do next, the only ones who weren’t too stunned and shocked by the carnage to actually have a plan.

“That whole year was spent with Duncan trying to herd cats, with you two disappearing and reappearing at will. He’d take us off to one place to raise an army, and you would have already passed through causing as much destruction to the enemies as possible, or there would be items left conveniently propped up next to a campsite. 

“You saved Cullen, you slew two dragons, which caused no slight annoyance amongst many at your rash actions, and not a small amount of jealousy. You helped Connor, and Connor thinks you are wonderful, much to his mother’s distaste, Teagan thinks Connor’s in love, I know he is, but out of hero worship not lust. You saved a marriage, to which Anora is sometimes not massively happy about” he grinned at her, “My brother was and still sometimes is, a bit of an idiot. You got yourselves arrested and then broke out of a prison, for no other reasons we could think of than for the hell of it, until Riordan announced he had been a welcome rescuee of said prison.

“You promised outright I would never have to be King, even if it meant bricking my stupid brother up in the Palace so he couldn’t run off to fight the Archdemon as he said he was going to, even after Duncan explained why it had to be a Warden to slay the demon. You even gave Anora shackles and offered to keep the key. I think Anora was a bit in love with you too.

“Avernus told us where he got the Ashes from, Ashes that had mysteriously disappeared after Eamon was cured. They had just appeared as things often did, with a note with helpful suggestions. So as we are busy cursing you after the final battle, we get word that he’s got a possible cure for the Calling, and didn’t that just grate like mad. Like you had timed it just right to annoy royally.” she couldn’t help but grin, as he spoke with fondness, time having eased away the anger from the memory.

“That final battle, you lied to us all, innocent as pie, strolling in claiming that you’d seen the bulk of the army heading to Redcliffe, and we like utter idiots trotted like obedient sheep. Duncan all ready to make that final cut, you even sent along my blasted brother, keeping Mac Tir back in Denerim. And did we pay any attention? Did it occur to any of us that there would be no way you wouldn’t have kicked up a massive fuss about Cailan going into the final battle, no, we just blindly followed because for all Duncan was the Commander, you two were the ones with the actual plans.

“So we left the city with Mac Tir’s forces and two Wardens, as we toddled off to a small skirmish with everyone we’d collected. We managed to turn back in time to soak up the fleeing horde after you two had done exactly what you promised Duncan you wouldn’t do.

“I was close enough, close enough to watch as Tranq was thrown to the floor, and I swear I heard his neck crack, then you just flying through the air as if shot by a catapult, that stupid hammer slamming down and crushing it’s head. The whole thing exploding in flames, leaving nothing but the damn thing left. Mac Tir was stripped of his position for betraying his King for the second time, and Duncan conscripted him for his crimes against the Wardens, or as a favour to Anora, or a reward for staying with you at the end. It was messy and complicated and too many angry happy emotions. He was sent to Orlais as a cruel and unusual punishment, he hadn’t exactly been thanked for letting you two - like anyone could have stopped you doing whatever you wanted, including sacrificing yourselves.

“Then we find that no one actually laid claim to you, you had been Wardens, but you’d just appeared when the call had gone out, but unlike the rest of us, no one could remember you from before then. You spent as much time if not more apart from the main force so it wasn’t like you even particularly settled in with the others. Brosca hardly knew you beyond listening to the rants from the Senior Wardens and the King, who was very vocal about all of your faults. You did seem to live to torment him, constantly prodding and poking at his decisions in front of everyone.” She looked a little ashamed at this.

“Sounds like we treated him like we did the Chantry…” he shrugged at this.

“I mean, even he will admit that he was busy chasing glory, and didn’t want to share in it, he wanted to be the one to slay the demon, because it would be heroic, he was an utter idiot. But still the King, and for all that you were Anora’s favorite Wardens, you were definitely Cailan’s least. It’s why he refused to let us put up a statue in your honor, it’s why outside of the people you interacted with, you just didn’t exist. You embarrassed them, us, you found them foolish and you let the world know it, you told him in front of his wife, in front of his uncle, that the only reason you saved him was because of me, that you didn’t want me to have to be forced into taking over the country because of his poor decision making abilities.” she groaned, this time running a hand over her face.

“Fuck me and my mouth, because there is no way that Lu would have said that without dying inside of shame.” 

“You know that now you’ve returned, they think it’s so you can save us again right. Because you did then, and it’s what you always seem to do when you appear, you save us from something. But I don’t want to hate you this time, I never want to hate you, even if I do when you leave, because you have to leave don’t you, you have to leave when it’s done.” her nails found themselves scratching at her forehead as she gave him a pained smile.

“Brosca thought you were at Amaranthine shortly after the Blight, that you helped save the city as an elf named Nikira, when they had to choose between the Keep and the City, when they were only able to spare a little aid for the City. Hawke thinks you were in Kirkwall, the two of you, two Qunari that went rogue, Lynna and Malignia who happened to stumble across a madman in the sewers who had an unhealthy obsession with women who looked just like his mother. That these two Qunari managed to stop a plot to kill the son of the Viscount, and then stopped the Arishok going rogue through the city by barricading them in, giving Hawke time to challenge him to a duel. Lynna looks a lot like Lu does, right down to the horns.

“Fenris believes he spent time with you as Fog Warriors Thelu and Ylsa, that you kept him safe until disappearing shortly before he was recaptured. And then we come back to me, Serren and Sagara, two Qunari warriors saving our asses again while I chased after a myth, with Sten, Varric and Isabela, looking the spit of Malignia and Lynna, according to Isabela. Sacrificing yourselves to allow us to return home safely.”

They sat in silence, the words ringing round the cave, Alistair gathering himself before starting again with quieter voice.

“I’m scared though, because you are back, the first time we understand what you keep doing, how you appear to save us, like forgotten heroes that sweep in and vanish leaving little more than footprints in the sand. You are here, for all of us, so its big, bigger than anything else we’ve faced, and you knew what it was, because of course you did, and the demon stole that from you, from us.

“I’m scared because you are here, and you will leave and when you do it will be because you’ve died again, and every time you do, I lose something inside. I’m scared because I worry this is the last time I will get to see you, and that it isn’t. That you are here because of me, or that you happen to keep crossing my path by accident and not by design.

“I hurt, because you are, you were everything that is what a mother is to me, you were my trainer, you were my nemesis and hero, that because of you I know I have a mother, because of you I met my father, that I still have a life and a future, that you saved the father figures in my life even as they acted against you. That you saved my idiot of a brother, giving me a chance to actually like him, rather than resent him.

“I worry because if this is a dream, am I real? Are you gods who look after many worlds? How many people have you saved, have you altered them to then be forgotten by? That you haven’t aged since I was a small child, and now I am the same age, that I haven’t found anyone to settle down with because you were my role models. Tranq and Tris, Matienne and Ellspeth, Seren and Sagara, and now Vicky and Lu.

“I’m angry because you keep having to come and solve our problems, you come and you fix things and then we find new ways to mess them up, and now they are destroying everything you achieved when you killed the blasted archdemon. I’m furious that I love you so much and you don’t even remember me beyond I niggle at you”

She drew her knees up to her chest, wriggling so that she was facing him as he was trembling again with spent emotion. “I’m sorry. I need a moment, I need a lifetime of moments to unravel that, but I am sorry.” 

“I would like to say Lu would have been better to hear this, but that would have been an utter lie, because he gets very uncomfortable when emotions are sprung on him, even when he asks for them, but he gives good hugs, nice to snuggle into when you’re sad.” she took a deep breath, before rubbing her fingers across his cheek. “You know I can’t fix it, I want to, but I can’t, I can’t get my memories back, our memories back. I can’t go back and stop us leaving each time, because we would never have been there for the other times.” She chewed down on her bottom lip, letting her fingers caress him gently. 

“I will admit I was expecting something different, maybe declarations of love or lust, I was definitely expecting to have to listen to you scream about how awful I was for not letting you kill yourself tilting at windmills Don Quixote style. I was expecting you to demand we reign in our lewd behaviour as unseemly especially as it has affected our progress thanks to the reactions it garners from the Chantry. I’ll be honest, I was expecting pretty much anything but a hidden history of how I like to meddle.”

He snorted at this, and she gave him a grin, “The philosophical debates are better suited to Lu, and maths, I like to be contrary where as he studied it and actually can back up his thinking beyond my “because I said so” logic, I’m sure Solas can stick his oar in and help muddy the waters too. I’m not too sure about how I feel about it, but here and now you are real, as are we, and you have memories of times when we aren’t here. No, I’m not going down that rabbit hole, not now, not without thinking and not without Lu.” she shook the thoughts away with a physical vehement shaking of her head. 

“Who have you talked to about all of this, because that’s a lot of emotions to carry around inside and not be able to talk about them,”

“Anora liked to hear tales of you upsetting my brother, it’s how we bonded after the Landsmeet named me heir when it was decided by the Landsmeet that Cailan couldn’t be relied on not to stay safe and away from the glory hunting. That was an awkward period of time.

“It took a while for Duncan to talk about you, they, we, felt that you had betrayed us, for planning with Mac Tir over us yet again, not helped by Morrigan stirring the pot after it was all over saying she could have stopped anyone from having to die. That not only did she have a plan, but that you both knew of a way but had purposely destroyed the relic she needed to do so.” He bit back a smug smile at the memory of Morrigan being thwarted.

“I’m sure there was a perfectly good reason to do so,” she nudged him with her shoulder, a mischievous glint in her eye, which he returned.

“I’m not sure any of us who remember would doubt it, not now, hindsight being a brilliant thing indeed. At the time though, it was just another reason to discredit the traitor wardens. It didn’t help you left a note with the sentence, “Oops, I hope this wasn’t the only one of these you had access to, my bad” next to the smashed remains. I think it was partly why they, we, were so happy to leave you back at Denerim,” he’d gone from glee at the note to guilt, dropping his gaze again.

“Oh petal, while I have no recollection of the events, I know from years of being me, I can be utterly infuriating when I want to be, and it really sounds like Tris me, was all my devilish side. I would have deliberately been a massive pain in the ass, taking all the red options to get to the end. I wish you could have met me when I was a delinquent teen in charge of pilgrims seeking a new world. I was all the laid back snarky irreverent child I could be, I had bright lilac hair and wandered around in the skimpiest lime green and bright pink clothing I could wear, if it was funny I would say it regardless of the situation, funny and laid back whilst the fate of hundreds of thousands rested on my shoulders.” she kissed him motherly on the cheek, before tugging the tunic around her ample bosom as she mussed his hair.

“What about Vicky, what character is she?” He was absently trying to pet his hair back down, barely meeting her eyes as she heard the faint tremble in the question.

“Ah, see Vicky is me, Lu is Lu, well, mostly Lu.” she paused, biting her lip again, mulling over her words. “I’m more me than Lu is Lu. Our names are genuinely Vicky and Lu, as in our actual names, and our personalities are our own, unadulterated, no just picking an aspect of them and running with it. The biggest difference is that this looks pretty much like me, short, ample and plain,” she winked at him as he automatically opened his mouth to protest.

“We will have no false modesty here princeling, anyway, biggest difference is abilities, we have no magic, and while I’m not a weakling, there is no way I would be able to hulk pretty things like you around without using hoists and other aids. Now Lu, Lu is really my height, in fact I’m a whole like smidge taller than him, and if I wear heels then he’s lost the height game. He’s slight, handsome and adorable.” He stared at her.

“So you are both dwarves then, when you aren’t here that is?” she grinned at this, prodding him in the stomach.

“No dwarves petal or not like you mean, just shorter than average humans, or at least he’s shorter than average, I hit the average for a female, just. My sister has a good few inches on me, his doesn’t though.”

“And you are the same here, now as you are there?” his cheeks had returned to being bright red, and not from her pinching them, “Does everyone, uh, is everyone as open as you are?”

“I mean everyone is different. No though, not outside certain designated places, I would never just play anywhere at home, or as often. Here though, its been freeing, and I will admit, we have taken the attitude of whats the worst that can happen, when they didn’t fully complain after we were holding out for a quick dream, and were really pushing the limits, well, that and spite.” she gave him a half sheepish grin as she admitted to it, “It’s the pay off of dreams though in some cases, at home we’d be arrested for pulling off even a fraction of the stunts. But here, his parents will never know, short of me pulling them in, and that just isn’t going to happen, I hope to all that is sacred it doesn’t happen. His work won’t sack him, we can’t be made homeless, worst thing that happens happens and the dream ends and we go back to our reality.”

She paused, skirting dangerously close to what she had avoided earlier.

“I mean, I’d worry if everyone just went along with whatever we wanted, some kind of sex slave deal, but it’s not like that, or I hope it isn’t. Cullen would have been hard the entire time, or wanted to do more than he does. Charter would have been curled between my legs all the time. But then Cass refused to play with us, Varric doesn’t seem to have any attraction that comes from beyond the fact we are both dwarves and I’m female. Solas is a tangled mix of fear, envy and kinship, he’s played games you can tell, but not for a while and I don’t think he would play with us. And my princeling, even when the camp is hazy with sex not once have you looked at us with anything even remotely resembling lust” he pulled a face at the idea that had her snickering.

“Hawke and Anders are devoted to each other, although they may approach Lu at some point, more out of curiosity than anything more meaningful though. Duncan has been an odd mix, but I can understand why more now, we are a weird mix straight back at him, all knotted up with old memories and complications.” he was squirming like a child at being told about their parents have sex.

“This was supposed to be our wild sex dream, that’s what I conned Lu into experiencing with me, he doesn’t always let me drag him in, and it doesn’t always work. When we did work out that it was going to be an epic one, we hadn’t really planned ahead, it was just easier to be us than to work out characters. So Lu my occasionally grumpy but wonderful husband is exactly who he is, although in Qunari form…” she trailed off as she started to think about his form again. “Uh, and I am exactly who I am, so I will solve the problems because it annoys me when things are left undone, it’s what I do, what I am good at. I am strict, I do expect to be obeyed, I laugh inappropriately and I don’t like idiots or timewasters” She bopped him on the nose.

“I think you are lovely, and Lu isn’t grumpy” she narrowed her gaze at him in disbelief.

“All children think their mothers are lovely, well unless their mothers are cows, but even so. And you have been with us with the whole snotty can’t breathe thing he had going on, he is grumpy, but he’s wonderful too so it balances out.”

“I’m as old as you are, now anyway, I think” he frowned as she bopped him again on the nose making a boop noise.

“Princeling, you just told me that I was there when you were knee high to a toddler, you told me I look exactly the same then as I do now, you even said for a while you were convinced I was your actual mother, thus you have to believe I am lovely, because my precious sweetling, in your heart that’s what I am.” he was threatening to pout as she continued to bop him on the nose.

“If you weren’t lovely to other people though, well, what about the sisters? Or Puppy, or like not Isabela because she’s slept with everyone bar Duncan I think at this point, but other people, you - just lots of people.”

“Because little one,” he gaped at her in dismay at this slur too far, “Alright, I can’t really call you little when you have almost a full length on me. This is explained far better by someone who isn’t me, I bet Varric could explain it, or maybe not. Look we will pretend I have modesty so we don’t need to entertain my overly ample confidence.” she went full on grin at this.

“I’m safe, I am in a quite clearly emotionally secure relationship with a shit brickhouse of a man who proves he is also very secure in the status quo, and he can take any actual physical threats on. I have absolutely no shame when it comes to who and what I am, and because I have no shame it encourages others to act out their desires and wants because it’s safe to. I understand what the people need when they approach me, if I don’t always supply what they want. And like you, my sweet thing, to someone like Merrill, not Merrill because I wouldn’t trust any show of fear from her, but to someone like her, you might be intimidating, big, tall, handsome, you might reject an approach, they might fall madly in love with you but they might worry that you would leave them as soon as someone better came along. I’m safe,” she petted him gently as he stirred himself up again.

“So Puppy, Puppy needed to be taken in hand. He is big and strong, and has been taught that he is a brat and that’s all he is, a brat who is the son of the chief, so has acted in such a way. He has strived to make his own way in the only way he knew how to, disobedience and defiance. Where perhaps if he had been told that he was safe, that he was more than just an inconvenient child born of a woman who is reduced to only her hair colour, that it’s fine to listen to other people and it doesn’t make you lesser to follow that advice. Mix it up with a healthy dose of sexual frustration, because Amund will tell you, he wasn’t prime choice of the women, even with his birthright, you have a lovely mix of anger, lust and self loathing. 

“I would never have done what I did to him at home, it’s why I left him with Lu now, it’s why he’s been kept with Adaar or Charter when not with me. I took advantage of him, of his emotions and now I need to make sure when we do eventually leave, I don’t leave him alone where he can get himself hurt, and no, I can’t leave him with you, before you offer.” She let out a sigh, looking ashamed of herself.

“The ones who need someone like me, they can tell, they can tell by the sound of my voice, by the glint in my eye, by the way I move. It’s instinctual, a dance between us, but it’s safe. I could look like Merrill, or Josephine, and it would make no difference to how I act, how I am. Every time my wonderful husband sees my breasts he’s hard like a rock, and they don’t even need to be bare. I know my flaws, I relish in them, I don’t need to be lovely in face, I don’t need it.” She flicked him on the ear, before sitting back with a stern expression on her face.

“Now, before we get up for the morning, because congratulations, we have managed to have talk the night away, if you challenge me in front of them, I will be forced to react. We both know I will happily pull you over my knee, regardless of how stupid it will look. And unlike how it would normally go, you will not enjoy it. If you want to argue, you will ask either myself or Lu and we will sort it out like adults, but I will not have you acting up out there. Are we clear?”

“Yes Mum,” he shot her a cheeky grin, wriggling like a puppy on the spot.

“Psh, this is why we never had kids, more trouble than you’re worth,” there was a pause as she got a gleam in her eye which had him stilling, “You realise you have just given me permission to vet any potential princesslings right?” her tone was wicked as they readied to leave, with her offering him her tunic as he just stared at it with a bewildered look.

“Think Lu will let me call him Dad?” he started to pout as she tried to make his tunic work as her clothing by wrapping a belt tightly to cinch it in as it just made it look even worse.

“Well he didn’t complain when he was called Daddy,” he verbally whined, if at the words or the way she was now trying to shove the tunic into her bosom, trying to knot the excess material.

“I, no, just, I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about that in any way shape or form, and, please can I have it back, yours actually fits you, but it won’t fit me without me ripping it, in a manly way of course, but, I like that tunic, it’s nice.”

“Just don’t hang around him when Dorian’s about and you should be fine,” she twisted and turned staring at it trying to make it work before sighing deeply.

“Gah!” He span round as she gave up, tugging it off as he was dealing with the concept of Dorian calling Lu daddy as the woman he referred to as Mum was stripping in front of him again.

“Come on son, lets go see Daddy” he had to give her that, she was speedy and was already in her much better fitting tunic.

“I take it all back, all of it, I’m just going to not call you anything,” he was now scrambling to get dressed, wincing at the knots she’d made, as she started towards the door calling back to him.

“Whatever you say son, whatever you say”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so this was just one massive dialogue - enjoy! >.> also "crackfic" I apologise for nothing. But I did enjoy it, when I wrote the draft it flowed really easily, and the rewrite added very little.
> 
> Also I have the list of which characters cropped up where, and it was only when I was rewriting this chapter I was like, damn, literally just changed names and not appearances, no wonder they all knew who they were this time round. No wonder they were all like, narp dudes and dudettes we are coming with.


	12. Noble Country

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where the group and the couple fall out. Pretty badly. Especially as the secrets have finally mainly been revealed

They reappeared in the hazy light of the morning to bleary faces, and a casual acceptance from Lu who was talking quietly with Cullen and Fenris. They exchanged “what can you do” shrugs, before putting on “now we have to go be nice” faces, and “please don’t shout at anyone even though I can tell from here you haven’t had any sleep” looks. It was amazing how well they had learnt to communicate without saying a word over the years.

“Before we go play nice, blanket apology for not knowing any of you. Everything else unless it’s like life threateningly urgent can wait until after I’ve slept, and probably Lu, because even if he got some sleep if he didn’t get enough he’s going to be grumpy, and he likes you sorry lot so it won’t be you who he’s grumpy at.” He opened his mouth to speak before closing it again with another “what can you do” shrug.

Thankfully for all involved, no one had any life threatening need to speak, so they were able to set off towards the village of Crestwood with little fuss, even if Connor had looked like he wanted to pounce as soon as Alistair had left her side. They were greeted at the gates to the village by reinforcements sent under the auspice of the Teyrn of Highever, who were accompanied by what would charitably be called a hunting parties worth of noble couples. Which threatened to send Varric off into tales of a particularly interesting time hunting wyverns before he was hushed at the look on Lu’s face about dragging things out longer than necessary.

They were somewhat welcomed by the Mayor, the sudden influx of aid and security was a boon, as was the destruction of the bandit hold out, but he had proved to be a little put out by the draining of the lake without being consulted. Even after it had been explained why they had felt the need, with Felix going off into detail about how long it would take to fully drain and that if they hadn’t started when they did, he would be having to host 20 plus hungry champions for longer than necessary.

The nobles were already talking about turning the Village into a place of pilgrimage which helped soothe wounded egos as well, with promises of investment in the area to help rebuild all that had been lost, as well as the arrival of several merchants who had spotted an opportunity too juicy to be missed.

The villagers expressed their opinions, feeling safer now that instead of undead throwing themselves at the gates it was soldiers, and the arrival of the nobles had encouraged the Chantry gaining a roof once more after the concern at making the devout nobles stand in the rain to hear the Makers words. 

Alistair was nobly sacrificed, if in punishment for keeping his adopted mother up all night, or because his status was fast proving incredibly handy for fending off almost all Ferelden’s and Chantry personnel. To allow them time so that they were able to slip out to go and actually investigate closing the rift in the centre of the drained lake. Nobly sacrificed as the noble contingent caught wind of the plan, they had been overly keen on joining the group to undertake such an epic quest, with the others peeling away quietly as Lu and Vicky stared in horror at the idea, with Alistair falling on his sword to indulge in a hunting expedition so that they might have a mighty feast to celebrate the triumphant return from the muddy looking mess.

He had been rewarded for this sacrifice with Dorian rubbing up against Lu and calling him Daddy whilst staring at Alistair with a smirk. Vicky had lasted about approximately as long as it took for the cart to get repacked before sharing to Lu that they had adopted Alistair, unofficially, because of the whole changing who they were all the time. She lasted marginally longer again before she’d shared with Lu about the whole Daddy thing, making sure Dorian had been in earshot, who had taken it with great glee, tormenting the man every time he came even remotely close. Still, the look on Alistair’s face when Lu had dragged him into a crushing hug, ruffling his hair had been enough to send Dorian sniffing in what he claimed was disdain.

They returned shortly after dawn, looking shattered and various mixtures of disbelief, anger and shock. The rift had been closed, though it had taken more more effort than normal, though the lack of sleep for both of them may have contributed to this, as they both admitted to feeling distinctly underpar for their normal selves. The reasonably powerful rage demon that they had to fight before hand also contributed to the difficulty as well as the revealing of long drowned secrets. Not even the Merrills uncanny ability to spy random treasures had lessened the blow of what they had faced.

Cullen sent several scouts back down to where the shoreline had been to collect the corpses of the villagers, that the Chantry had requested so that they may receive the last rites. He had also taken over when neither of the couple looked ready to speak, looking uncommonly pale and vibrating on a knife edge, organising the rest so that they were able to sleep unaccosted before one or both exploded into a rampage, as the smaller of the two had chuntered all the way back, whilst the taller wasn’t disagreeing.

The Mayor had tried to hand himself over on their return, with Rylen and Adaar taking him back to his cottage quietly, keeping guard of the door whilst Cullen fended off questions from the villagers, by redirecting them to celebrations at the closing of the rift and the abeyance of the undead who had finally stopped appearing with the rift closure. It took a while for them to return, looking like they had managed to sleep if only a little, the distinctly stabby look having been mainly smoothed from her expression, and his was particularly neutral, as they called a group meeting out of earshot of the village.

“I promised myself we wouldn’t interfere with any of this shit, but I’m going to break it, because now I don’t even know if this is because of our actions and if it is, then we should be the ones to mop up our crap.” Lu placed his hand on her shoulder, standing behind her like a giant wall. “Who is responsible for the safety of this region?” she took in a deep breath and made a visible effort not to shout, even as her tone was dark and faintly dangerous.

“Locally, the Mayor,” Charter was the first to speak, keeping her answer short and neutral.

“So he is responsible for this village yes? Point of contact for whomever takes the money from the taxes or tithe or whatever you call it, that these people will pay to live here? So who takes the money, where does it end up?” Lu shifted subtly, his fingers clenching down just slightly as her words were spat out.

“The Teyrn” Charter offered up after a moment.

“Right.” she turned, breathing deeply as she stared into her husbands chest, taking a moment as she was physically trembling with suppressed rage.

“But-” 

“But what?” she kept her back to them as she rested her forehead on Lu’s chest, willing herself not to shout.

“There wouldn’t have been one, not at that time, or there was but not really.” She turned slowly, Lu keeping a firm grip on her as she met Alistair’s gaze.

“So no one would have taken any money then, if there wasn’t really anyone in charge then?” the words were darkly mocking, before deflating slightly at his steady gaze.

“What you don’t remember is what else was happening, the Couslands were slaughtered by Howe, directly before Ostagar, he took over the lands during the Blight but it was chaos. Howe was busy fighting us all off, as well as the Blight, and he still had control of his own lands down in Amaranthine. We did oust him but it took a while, yes, the situation was bad, but the Blight took more priority, and then with the mess after Denerim, and then Amaranthine, it took time to get the oldest son who had been saved by, well you, back to his ancestral home. He’d lost everything as well, when Howe took over, his whole family including his young son, he was a mess, we were all a mess, desperately trying to cling on to something, just to keep putting a foot forward.” 

Both of them released a sigh, looks of some understanding passing across their features. “So a perfect storm of fuckery. No one who was able to offer any actual aid, blight raging, inundated with tainted refugees that were not only draining the no resources they had, but putting the village at risk, all in the hands of some poor sod who was probably elected Mayor because he could read and write. I’m going to guess that the rest of the Teyrn’s lands were equally as rampaged over by refugees, hostile takeovers and blight?”

“Even with the sacrifices at Denerim, there was a lot of death throughout the blight, we lost a lot of good healthy men and women, and afterwards we lost more of the young and old to sickness and starvation. It was difficult, with Orlais stalking the border with the unrest, and others that we were aware of, that would have preferred to take bites whilst we were still weakened. If it hadn’t been for our allies, well…” there was an uncomfortable silence as those who remembered nodded slowly.

“And until we drained the lake, unless he admitted to what had happened, it would have been impossible to know what had happened here, as the only other person who seemed to have known hung themselves. What a blasted fucking mess.” she scrubbed her hand across her face, slumping back into Lu.

“So what now?” Lu asked quietly.

“We need to make a decision as to how we proceed, as soon as he tried to hand himself over, the village was going to find out if what you wanted was for him to remain here.” 

“If we wanted him to? Great, so it is our fault then after all.” she bit at her tongue as it rested on her bottom lip, ignoring the very uncomfortable lack of denials. “Keeping in mind that we still don’t actually remember any of this, and I currently hate the lot of you fuckers, so after this we are going to have some alone time while I for one calm down, because screw you all. We don’t know, we have no frigging clue what to do with him, and because Lu is far brighter than I am and saw this coming a mile away so we did sort of discuss what we might think. I believed that for some reason it wouldn’t come down to this, but so far you all keep proving me fucking wrong.

“In all honesty, in his position I’m not sure what else I would have done being him. I don’t agree with it, but then I haven’t been able to come up with a solution that didn’t involve massive loss of life.” she paused and looked up at Lu who shook his head slowly. “I really do hate you, and I don’t mean Lu at this point. Yes he fucked up, but he wasn’t a Warden, he. He was failed by, well, he was failed by literally everyone who could have helped. He made a decision when there was no one else to make it, because of partly or mainly us apparently.” She refused to turn round to look at them, the lack of noise speaking for itself.

“So, if he did it without asking for help of any kind, then turn him over to the Teyrn as crimes against the village. But if what I believe is correct, and that he tried and had no one to help, then I want to know exactly when the Teyrn got around to sending any aid here, because it sure as buggery doesn’t look like anything happened until I’m guessing word went out that the Crown was coming. Regardless of all the other places that struggled, but if it really has been ten years, ten whole fucking years of accepting tithes and taxes and not doing anything to aid, regardless of whether they pestered for it.” she swallowed back the ball of rage.

“If that is the case, then no, he doesn’t get to judge, he as far as I’m concerned lost that right, about nine years ago. He lost that right when the only reason he’s shown any interest is because of us. I understand don’t get me wrong, I do understand that it was a shit time, and utterly utterly shit time the Blight, and everyone did their best and most couldn’t be expected to have done more, or have been asked to do more. Bar us apparently. These people were failed, and that poor sod in hiding has been failed. There is no right answer. If what we believe is true, then he doesn’t deserve death, he looks like he has been hollowed out, eaten alive by it, even before we went down you could tell, looking in his eyes, haunted by something he should never have had to do. He doesn’t deserve to be exiled from a home he sold his very soul to protect, but the ones who survived will not forgive and forget, because they can’t and shouldn’t.” she became much more careful with her words.

“The Teyrn has no right to judge in my opinion, in our opinion. He left the land fallow for too long, until a light was shined on it and suddenly it’s worth looking at, so no, if you are laying this at our feet, he doesn’t get to make that decision. So what’s left, we use the Blight crime excuse and hand him over to Duncan? Being a Warden isn’t supposed to be a punishment, using it as such just demeans the Order and what it does and has done.”

“Would it be a punishment? Or just the best option out of a sea of shit ones?” Lu spoke softly, plainly only addressing her. 

“Fuck it, Alistair and Duncan can sell it as a death sentence, hopefully it offers some solace to the poor sods here, the Teyrn can provide an actual land agent to look after the village and we can get him to promise to the Crown that he will actually give a shit and take care of the region on threat of having it taken away.”

“But-”

“I don’t give a flying fuck if thats how it actually works Alistair, you handed this over to us, to me, treat it like the a heroes boon for killing the arch demon if you need to, seeing as we apparently died for it. Look, if you think that leaving here without working out some sort of future plan is going to make anyone happy you are sadly mistaken, even if it’s only for the first ten years, and the repercussions can be lifted. If this place had been a child, or a puppy or a kitten it would have been taken away by now, but instead this is a place, a place with actual people. So yes, screw everyone, they need protection.” Lu now moved her behind him as her voice started to growl.

“Fuck it, tell the noble louts I need more sleep, and then we can do whatever obscenity they want to do afterwards, as its so important they trooped through the zombie apolcalypse.” 

And so the group acquired one more Warden. There had been an explosion as soon as the couple had left, until Adaar had challenged the whining to come up with a better solution. The best but not most realistic had been from Dorian who had offered using the time magic he had been working on with Alexius the Elder to go back in time to before the Blight and put some safeguards in, he was also told never to mention it to either one of the two who were distinctly not talking to any of them.

Whether the decorated pair had been besieged by the nobles before they could speak to the rest of their travelling party, or if they had deliberately set themselves in their path, the outcome was the same. The ten couples had been waiting most patiently up until then, charmed by the small village and the drama of the occasion, having been able to witness as the green light in the centre of the lake had been extinguished, with more than one couple claiming that the rites which hadn’t been performed had already worked. Vicky and Lu however spent the day far more relaxed than they had been for days, making up fertility rites, having copious amounts of sex with and around the couples as part of the rites, and offering lots of blessing. 

It had also been enlightening, the couples were happy to share the reasons behind heading out to the middle of nowhere to meet the pair denounced by the Chantry, claiming that there were rumours from Haven of childless couples suddenly conceiving, having had the pleasure of the Couples presence. So they sent word back to Haven, to make sure there wasn’t any exploitation happening by praying on desperate couples. The thinly veiled threat had been scrawled in Lu’s chicken scratch after Vicky had stabbed through the page too many times, as they were still avoiding the others, even to aid sending threatening messages through to Leliana.

A scout did inform them that word had come through that an old friend of the Warden’s wanted to meet up with mainly the Wardens up at the Stormcoast, and that the rumour was that if they accepted the aid offered it would net them access a merc group. She also confirmed that as far as the Inquisition was concerned there was nothing further outstanding in the area, and that they were only leaving a small group to act as a recruiting station which was met with some wrinkling of noses from the decorated pair. They did however snag a map, and the scout gave them directions with some confusion, but not willing to ask why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the first chapter where it was mainly unchanged from the draft, barring the removal of fuck from every second word in the rant. 
> 
> <3


	13. Same Rain, Different Location

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they find the couple, and not a lot else happens really. But its no more anger times?

It took awhile for the timid scout to admit exactly what had happened, having learnt that the group were looking for the pair after they hadn’t appeared for breakfast the following day. And then the realisation that not only had they not, but they were two horses down too, though her staff was still in cart, not that it was a massive indicator of anything untoward, had been enough to get them to start to panic following the previous days discussion.

“So, lets just make sure we are understanding clearly, you handed over maps to Lu, and then talked them through how to reach the Inquisition camp, and then didn’t question why they set off by themselves?” Charter had a very quiet presence, the dagger in her hand that she kept flashing, not so much. 

“Well, they aren’t prisoners, and they didn’t say they weren’t supposed to go off alone.” The scout gulped as Charter jabbed the dagger into the wooden desk.

“Did you not think it was a little odd?”

“But they spent the day away from you all yesterday,” Adaar was busy trying to restrain Charter and Puppy who was looking particularly unsettled at being abandoned.

“When did they leave?” Cullen stepped in, blocking the scout from being throttled smoothly.

“Barnabus said they waved goodbye about dawn, so, a while ago. He did say they weren’t in a rush, just send word through to Harding, she should be up and running in the Stormcoast, she’ll be able to keep an eye out for you. Should know within a couple of days.” there was a clank of a dagger hitting a shield as Cullen winced at the impact.

“Tell Harding we are on our way, and don’t send word to Leliana about this.”

“About what Sir?”

“Exactly.” 

The group set off as soon as they could get everyone gathered having scattered to try and track them down, meeting up with the two hiding Wardens as they crossed the border who looked slightly bemused. 

“We were told to wait, so that we wouldn’t be tainted…” Mac Tir gave his tenuous relation a look, groaning as he squirmed. “I’m not sure that we need to know what happened, more that it did and they were still cross about it. They did however only pass through a short while ago, looking as they often did, ravished.”

“They may be under the impression that we blame them for a tragedy in Crestwood.” there was a slight scoffing from Anders at Cullen’s words.

“When they asked outright if we blamed them and no one immediately said no? Because if we thank them for all the things they do to save, then every time something happens that goes wrong then it must be because they didn’t bother?” Mac Tir gave Alistair a stern look.

“Sometimes I wonder if Maric had any sense whatsoever as neither of his children seemed to inherit any.” Before turning to lead them in the direction that the others had set off in, soon catching up to Lu who was busy propping up a tree watching his wife at a distance harangue the scouts who were scuffing the floor at the camp. 

“What is the plan, if I may ask?” Solas sidled up to his side, closely followed by Duncan. 

“Hmm? Oh, you found us, we thought for sure if wouldn’t be for another few hours.” Lu spared him a glance, before returning his gaze to his wife, who was making stabbing motions with her finger at a map on the desk.

“Ah, it was most unfortunate what happened.” there was a slight snort from the tall man at this.

“Ok, so how do you mean? If you want to know what she has planned you need to ask her, she’ll either tell you off for being too general with your questioning, because Solas that was very vague, or she’ll give you an absurd answer out of spite. Maybe something involving Gandalf, if she uses the name Gandalf just ignore all of it.” he gave her a smile as she turned round at the name, sticking her tongue out at him, before rolling her eyes at the rest of them who had gathered behind him.

“Context is key, forgive me, I meant more with the sheer number of Wardens we travel with.” Duncan stirred at that, turning his steely eyes away from the shorter woman in the distance to pin Solas.

“We travel with the same amount of Apostates, does this not bother you also Ser Solas?” there was a slight stiffening of Lu’s shoulders, even as his face kept to the easy smile he often had, which had Duncan dipping his head, “Apologies”

“Accepted, besides you were being baited.” a pointed head tilt to Solas that had him dipping his head in apologies too, “And as currently we are travelling with neither of either, unless we both still count as Wardens, completely untrue.” this had them both stilling.

“Is this to be a permanent change?” the soft question was met with another shrug of Lu’s shoulders.

“Perhaps in future we don’t get told that we have been here before, and then whilst we still have no memory of it, get blamed for awful crimes. Normally I would be busy unruffling feathers, but that was pretty shitty. For the life of me I’m trying to work out why I didn’t just back her up when she wanted to go it alone.” he waited a moment, letting out a soft snort as she jumped up and down stabbing at the paper again. “But then you’ve been marginally diverting, and we would have fallen out pretty much straight away.” 

“Also you would miss us poor rogue types, we are a rare and dying breed,” Charter slipped up to his side, bodging Solas out of the way with a sharp elbow, grinning in relief as Lu mussed her hair, then mock wincing as he lightly swatted at her backside, sending her stumbling off to either help his wife, or perhaps to save the scouts from more chastisement.

“So no, we won’t be sacking you all off as a bad idea, just treat it like we must have done before during the Blight, sometimes we need some space, so that we, and by we I mean mainly Vicky in this, don’t say something we will regret, not because it’s not true, more because it is but it’s also unkind to point out your genuine failings as people.” He gave them a smile, “And if you do that again, without any actual justification, I will happily tear every single one of you in half.”

“The most sensible course of action would be to send Shroud and Mac Tir with Dedrick to Amaranthine,” Duncan picked up the earlier train with some hesitation, “How, is another matter, it may mean that some of us need to escort them should there not be a boat further up the coast. The sightings of Orlesian Wardens is unsettling too, and having managed to meet up with the defectors unharmed, it would be unfortunate if whilst in our care harm befell them.”

“It’ll work itself out, either we find a solution, or we make one.” the steady confidence in Lu’s voice making Solas stare at him with some disbelief.

“You really believe that don’t you?”

“And you doubt it, you have met my wife yes? She’s the short one making the lads and lasses quiver in their boots just ahead.” the grin he was shot had Solas redden, and Duncan straighten up as he stood.

“I have faith in you both, regardless of if you are still Warden’s now. Whether you both get through this without further charges of treason being placed upon you, well I trust that what will be will be.” Alistair sidled up with a wary grin as Duncan uttered the word treason.

“I think between the Queen and the Crown Prince we can keep my dear…” he glanced at the Qunari before muttering out “parents” and holding his breath before regaining some confidence as he was rewarded with an armpit hug, “ewww, I mean, we can save them from being strung up by the King, even when he sees that they have reunited with his Father in Law” Mac Tir made a huffing noise, dodging out of the grasp of Isabela who had switched her advances from one older male to the other.

“So what you are telling me is that all we have to worry about, having a devoted son like you, is that she’s going to treat the King like a naughty puppy son.” Duncan blanched as Mac Tir snorted.

“Which is precisely why he accused you of treason in the first place,” Alistair paused as he considered his words with relative care, “Also other reasons, but I think being abraded in front of everyone every time he did something both of you disagreed with made it a lot more personal,” Duncan was staring straight ahead, as Alistair received his hair ruffle with a happy wriggle.

“Look, if you feel guilty, from my perspective, forget about it, but you should probably talk to her. It’s quite entertaining in a macabre way from our perspective, not something we take personally, but if you want forgiveness, you can have mine and I severely doubt she’ll withhold hers. We can’t remember what happened, we probably never will, and to be honest the amount of times we end up in situations like the one Alistair described, well it makes it easy to move on.” With an easy grin, he knocked his adopted son forward in the manner he had Charter, “Go save them, she looks ready to kill someone, I had hoped that they would wear her out…”

“You often find yourselves in situations where you are at odds with the people who you meet in these different places?” Dorian had stolen Alistair's place, accidentally nudging Solas further aside with such panache that it looked without design, even as Felix slid in to listen with just as much eagerness.

“It depends, situations like this, where it’s not a simple fix, then yes, because you force us to start making decisions. So we do, or mainly she will because that is her job, to see a problem, fix a problem. And normally whilst explaining why the people who are in charge are failing and often with a round of scolding thrown in for good measure. 

“On the whole people don’t really enjoy being told that they are wrong, and that they are stupid on the odd occasion. She should tell you about her job interview when she told them that she “didn’t do stupid people” after making pointed comments about why the post was up again for the fourth time that year,” There was a look of amused love for his wife shining across his face, replacing the easy grin that normally rested there.

“And if you haven’t been asked to make decisions?”

“Honestly, it depends what it is, and how long we’re about for, say it had been just a simple sex dream, then no, not unless someone had asked us for something, say “would -”” he looked at Cullen with a definite frown, “So what Leliana did to us, where we were about to have some amazing sex, and she asked us to help out. So we did, because it would have been rude not to. Also Cassandra did look like she was either going to kill us or cry, and I’m not good with crying, and I don’t think she could have killed us. So in that instance we helped but we didn’t fix any problems.” Solas was now the one to snort. 

“If it appears we are here for the long haul and there is something that needs fixing that we can do something about, and it’s particularly vexing, say for instance and you must never repeat this to my wife, the Belly Moon situation, we end up there as no doubt teachers because there is - well maybe, but say we are stuck there for a whole term, so twelve weeks, and by week two there is an issue with cheating, we might fix it if only because that might be the way to end the blasted thing. But if it was an issue that, I’m trying to think of a situation in that place which we wouldn’t end up fixing because I can’t think of anything more tedious after the first day. Bad example. Say here, there is an issue with the bedrolls, but we haven’t been asked to fix them, we wouldn’t, not our problem. We would if asked, but we haven’t, also there isn’t an issue with them, don’t look at me like that.”

“There are plenty of issues with the bed rolls.” Felix nudged his friend in the ribs at the comment. “There are, I much prefer the hard body approach,”

“If you ask my lady wife - who also agrees with you on the sleeping arrangement side of things, she believes she is like a cat, with a cats good manners - it doesn’t make sense, she read it in a book and fancies it to be her perfect description. I think she has it mixed up with vampire personally, but what do I know?” He gave them a wry look, blowing her a kiss, as she blew him one back.

“So, is there much danger of her calling the King stupid?” there was a slightly disgruntled glare from Duncan to the immaculate Tevinter Mage, whilst Lu merely resorted back to his shrug.

“I honestly couldn’t tell you, no knowledge whatsoever barring that we clashed ten years ago, but then we could have clashed for many reasons, perhaps he didn’t like the cut of our jib?” he was fairly diplomatic, far more so than his wife would have been, even as Dorian scoffed at the words, whilst Solas looked a tad amused, more so than he had at being nudged out of the way twice.

“He was very eager in his youth as a newly crowned King by all accounts,” Rylen was stood on by Cullen as he spoke. “I said by all accounts, I didn’t say where I heard it from.” Which had Cullen ducking his head at the mocking from the Kirkwallers.

“Hardly newly crowned when their paths would have crossed, he had the throne for five years at least,” Solas gave Duncan a look as he started to interject with more politic words.

“He was a glory hound and we all knew it, he chased skirts not nearly half as much as he chased legend status,” Alistair returned to add with an overly jovial tone, the perpetrator of the scouts upset joining him, looking highly smug with herself intermixed with disdain.

“Ah, talking about my son in law?” Loghain had a gleam in his eye.

“Of course, Duncan is concerned that if we take you back through to Amaranthine that all three of you will end up clapped in irons under charges of treason, because it may be too much for his ego to handle all three of his tormentors back in one place.” this was met with somewhat stifled giggles from the small female.

“He’ll see himself over my knee if he even tries it,” which then sent Alistair into a snickering fit.

“And this is why I have concerns, because he won’t be able to keep his-” there was the uncomfortable silence back as Duncan couldn’t quite bring himself to utter the rest of the sentence.

“Keep his mouth shut, or mind his manners?” She shrugged, “I’m sure ten years will have done wonders for him, if not ten years under the guidance from his Queen and his brother. Also we aren’t exactly itching to upset him, and we are different from the last time we were here, well one of us is, Lu is definitely not human, now he’s mmmmmmm” she ran a hand over his chest possessively, letting her fingers scrape. “Times a great healer and all that…”

This statement was met with less than convinced mumblings, followed by awkward coughing as they began to eyefuck intensely.

“Anyway, uh, so love, what has you making the scouts cry?” He bent down to kiss her on the head, grinning at the faint whine she made as he avoided her lips.

“Damn things, they sent off a small group to investigate the Blades even after being told not to engage especially after the Avvar fuck up, no offence.” She grinned at the two Avvar men who had joined them as she had rejoined her husband, before it was brushed away with a hearty chuckle from the Skywatcher and a very guilty head droop from the former leader.

“And orders were definitely sent to tell them not to engage?” 

“Saw them myself, that and they didn’t even try to pretend that they hadn’t been told not to, but one of them is chasing favour so thought they would go out regardless and bring back intel. They’ve gone missing since then, having disappeared whilst Lace was out trying to meet up with the Merc band that we are supposed to be meeting with. She’s sent word of where they are and is staying put with them in the meantime after current events.” Charter looked highly pissed at her fellow scouts actions, not sparing one bit of sympathy for the ones who had just been lambasted by the female of the pair.

“We’ll leave the horses here, Lace isn’t too far away, apparently they are fighting off invading Tevinter forces as sport” Vicky ran her fingers through the messy bun, forcing it to start sliding down from the top of her head to her neck.

“And here I was hoping that when we found you, we could go straight for a nice hot bath and a decent bed,” Dorian found himself being smothered into Lu’s chest as his wife started to snicker.

“I mean, you can if you wish, but how could we deny you the pleasure of slaughtering your own countrymen?” He winked at her, trying to wriggle out of Lu’s grasp. 

“You my dear are far too kind, far too kind indeed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so I'm not the best at keeping track of my 3 chapters only as a back up, and counted and found after I finished C16 today I actually had 5 chapters ready. So double chapter time whoop.


	14. The Stennening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who turns up. Also hai Bull and the Chargers. And the Couple trick the group yet again to go swimming.

There was no hesitation as the large group rounded onto the coastline to the sight of battling forces of prim and proper looking Tevinter Mages (according to Dorian who helpfully pointed out their sartorial elegance as if the difference between them and the mixed mercency company wasn’t blatantly obvious) and the mercenaries who were fighting alongside Harding who waved enthusiastically at them as they came into view. 

What happened next didn’t entirely endear the group to the new company as they swarmed around the Tevinter originating mages, balling them up like dolphins after herring, constantly nipping and demolishing, forcing the original merc group to retire to watch the playful destruction. 

“You made it!” Harding bounced over to the only other female dwarf, grinning maniacally as the warriors continued to play who can hurl a mage the furthest into the crashing ocean, after of course they had been sufficiently looted.

“Lace pet, we need to have words about some of yours,” her tone was as playful as the actions of the others behind her were, sweeping the bonny scout into her arms with a tight hug, who in turn groaned with her head tossing back at the words.

“Apologies,” they exchanged knowing grins, as Charter joined them.

“No need for that, short of having them leashed to you at all times, no doubt they would have gone off to do it regardless. Let the Martinet know though will you? Charter will I’m sure, but as we were nowhere near when it happened, it’ll be better coming from you. Also you know exactly who the beggars are… Anyway, next stop we make will be to track the blighters down, although…” she nudged her none too gently, “Going to introduce us to your new toys?” nipping at Laces ear, making the scout snicker, before squirming out of the capturing embrace. 

“Uh, my Lady, Vicky, and everyone else, may I introduce you to The Iron Bull, of the Bull’s Chargers and The Arishok formerly known as Sten who fought valiantly alongside the Wardens during the Fifth Blight. Oh…” she trailed off looking slightly guilty, “May I also impart the knowledge that the Royal Vessel has already docked on the small island just across the water, however it is currently blockaded by dragonlings.” She coughed, before quickly adding, “I know the missing scouts are a priority, but rescuing the boat must come first.”

“You mean in the scheme of things scouts don’t rank higher than Kings and Queens, Lace. Good to know, good to know,” she winked at her, “Psh, theres enough of us we can do both, and if we hire these fine bastards on, not a chance in the tiny fires of gandalftown we can’t do everything in one foul sweep.” 

They both were momentarily distracted as a cheerful shout from behind them drew their attention as Lu and Alistair were chest bumping over something utterly ridiculous.

“Annnyway, nice to meet you both, but I do need to ask, who stole the holy book this time?” Issy could be heard snickering as she was pushed to the other side of the warrior contingent, whilst the taller one eyed Qunari settled down onto a rock also muffling his laughter. The hornless male shooting her a dirty look that had Vicky beaming back.

“I see you will last moments before the mewling King will be crying for your execution again,” this brought out a full on grin at his sour tone, before offering the snickering male a cheeky hip tilt.

“Oh former Sten, I bet we made quite the impression, did you miss me?” she blew him a kiss before pinning the one eyed male with a considering look. “Spy right?” the laughter died, as the Arishok dialed down his death glare. “Bet you Charter, this one has been off playing nicely all nice and trusted by the chappies back at home, but given enough of a leash to have built up a good sense of humour. What do you bet his knickers are in a right bunch having this one here, home suddenly all up close and personal,” Charter gave him a slow look, before Adaar outright scoffed.

“He is to be our spy for your Inquisition, he will act as our point of contact between the Qun and the chaos you will no doubt cause just by breathing, as is your way Tallis Sataa” she winked at the now wary spy, who was doing his very best to remain jovial as his leader spoke.

“Am I allowed to break him?” 

“No breaking the newbies my love, you have one per campaign and you’ve already met that quota.” her husband flopped onto the rocky ground next to her legs, resting his head against her groin in a playful manner as her hands moved to circle his horns.

“Arishok, a pleasure as always, when we sent word I didn’t expect for you to actually turn up, we would have brought you cookies if we’d known.” Alistair had followed like a puppy, before pouncing on his old companion in a rough housing embrace complete with back slapping.

“The Breach has unsettled the world, with news from the Crown of Ferelden being sent directly to my hands, it was decided that for once the Arishok would be involved in Ariqun matters. As I have already travelled with you before, it was appropriate that the verification of the claims of your return was treated with certainty. It is interesting to see you did not lie. As for Hissrad, it would be advisable not breaking him as long as Tranq-”

“Lu, we’re doing our actual names this time round, Vicky was too pissy at coitus interruptus to name us,” she started to make noises of disagreement at this, before he nipped at her bare skin of her thighs, making her clench around him, the air beginning to simmer with pheromones.

“As long as Lu can hold you off from doing so, Hissrad is the best choice. The first three suggestions that were made to infiltrate were deemed… unsuitable. There is a belief that you are simple basra, it would be on balance the wisest decision to maintain that image of simplicity. You are still driven by your base desires it seems, it should not be too hard for you to maintain the image.” He looked at them as Lu was busy nibbling on her skin as she was keeping a firm grip on his horns whilst staring down in rapt engagement.

“I’m guessing that pitting yourselves against the might that is Ferelden is pretty intimidating,” Alistair grinned at him, moving forward a step so he could no longer see what the two were doing.

“We suffered… set backs, that I believe have something to do with the two behind you, more so now that I see they have not changed in the least since we first met.” the spy was looking very pale at the blasphemy from his head of state, whilst it was enough to break through the fug of heat.

“We have no idea what we did, but no doubt it was for the best,” with the female muttering softly into her husband's ear, “cos we would never do anything for the fun of it ever…” There was a moment when those stood nearby exchanged glances and chose to pretend they hadn’t heard the not so quiet muttering.

“Two of our biggest shipyards suffered mass explosions shortly after our journey to seek out your missing King, the culprits matched the two Qunari warriors who had left themselves as sacrifice for our safety. They left witnesses, you left witnesses, deliberately mocking us for that we were very sure of, as you made sure to inform the witnesses what was happening moments before they blew up.” there was a low whistle from Adaar, with Charter suddenly looking very busy with Lace, sidling off to have a very important conversation about something.

“How close were you to invading at that point?” Alistair had lost the playful tone.

“Close enough that this would be unnecessary when the sky exploded” the spy now looked as if he was considering crawling into the swirling abyss that was the sea as the two former companions shared Qun secrets openly.

“Such a shame that can’t happen then, not for a bit… who knows if ever…” there was decided lightness to the words, if not tinged with a sharp edge, as her husband started to rasp his tongue against her skin causing her to moan.

“Tallis Sataa, you are more dangerous than they can ever understand, the fire that sweeps through the forest destroying the old making way for the new, for the young, for your young,” he gave Alistair a knowing look. “Hissrad you are to keep the balance as long as the Ariqun resists unsettling the it. When the time comes, asit tal-eb”

“Arishok” there was little else that could be said, even as the spies spine stiffened at the knowing looks from Adaar, and faintly mocking one from the only slightly distracted female dwarf.

“So, now that you’ve given us state secrets Arishok old buddy old pal, fancy coming with us to rescue a boat from little dragons? Or do you need to do secret Qun stuff with our newest recruit?” He gave her a disapproving look as she barely glanced at him, too busy watching her husband leave marks on her flesh.

“You know you want to come and see my dearest brother,” he paused, before mock whispering, “Varric has a book on how long it will take for him to threaten to execute them, and other odds on for if they make him cry and all that. All proceeds going to the save the orphans fund obviously.” Duncan didn’t even pretend to not hear, this time clonking his junior on the head as he moved past to embrace his old friend.

“It is good to see you still live,” there was a momentary sizing each other up before the events were interrupted by Lu.

“You need to give us like… fifteen or actually you know what you go ahead, all of you and we’ll catch up.” He’d lifted his head from the large bruises he was leaving on the pale skin to dismiss them all, with them leaving with relatively good grace, only Hissrad turning around to see the couple engaging in the proposed carnal activities that had been so heavily suggested.

“So…”

“Treat her like a dangerous Tama, and he as a submissive arvaarad,” the Arishok answered the unspoken question.

“Oh Sten-” Alistair teasingly called back.

“Arishok,” the correction came from Duncan who took the opportunity to smack his oldest recruit this time slightly more firmly.

“Oh Arishok - that hurt Duncan, are you warning him about mother?”

“Rrrrighttt…” there was a distinctly unimpressed tone from Hissrad at that.

“Well, they aren’t my actual parents, you know, she keeps saying she didn’t give birth to me, although - Duncan? You don’t think she could be Fiona?” He span round to pester the elder Warden who looked highly uncomfortable.

“And Lu was secretly Maric?” this came from Varric, as Issy made kissy kissy noises behind his back.

“No Alistair, no I really don’t think that.” Duncan firmly stated, as he saw the Prince warm up to this theme.

“I mean, if you accept that they just keep popping up everywhere like… well… characters, or to use one theory… gods…. And that we are all supposed to be the Makers children…” Varric drawled, throwing a spoon to stir with, even as a projectile was launched at his head.

“You just pointed out how ridiculous it was a moment ago dwarf.” Fenris added in almost disbelief.

“I know I know, but -”

“They aren’t gods,”

“Very definite there Curly, got anything to back that up with?” 

“Enough dwarf, do we need to track down your married lover so you stop trying to cause trouble?” Fenris shot him a quelling look as Cullen reddened.

“You mean our fair Cullen’s desire not to think about sleeping with deities?” Dorian had managed to purr right next to Cullen’s ear, making him redder than ever as Varric cheered him on.

“Wait, you are sleeping with them?” Hissrad blinked at Cullen, before letting out a soft sigh, “Damn, the balls on you for getting in between them…”

“He isn’t the only one, I mean at this point you’d be better off asking who hasn’t slept with them.” Varric gave him a knowing grin as Alistair held his hand up only for Duncan to glare as Dorian made tutting noises.

“I mean, you did spend a whole night with Vicky in a cave…”

“We talked, all night, she’s practically my mother Dorian!” with Felix now swatting at his best friend as Alistair starting to make enthusiastic arm gestures.

“Well we both call Lu “Daddy” at least…” 

“Ugh, Dorian, no. Anyway, they’ve always been pretty open to sharing, even Sten - sorry, Arishok bumped the uglies with Mother back in the day. I mean I think it was just with her, I didn’t see him with Dad anyway, and it’s Dad not daddy…” he shuddered as Dorian leered at him, before giving the Arishok an appraising glance.

“Your mother has interesting tastes, I’ll give her that…”

“Treat her like a dangerous Tama,” was the Arishoks only indication that he was still following the conversation.

“If it helps more than half of my reports have current relationship updates in them. You should have seen the one I sent back after Crestwood.” Charted fanned herself as Adaar swept her up into a warm embrace murmuring softly into her ear, making her blush.

“I think Varric took a copy of it for his latest serial, “The Lusty Dwarf” where it’s all about a dwarf and her qunari lover who travel around with a mercenary band full of all sorts of interesting people, including a Prince…” Connor piped up helpfully, as some of the others who hadn’t known what Varric was currently writing turned to glare at the dwarf.

“I take a copy of all of Charters smut, she has quite the way with words.” Charter groaned loudly, ducking behind Adaar as Lace turned to stare at them.

“Can we not share that with the Nightingale?” there was a faintly hopeful note to the question.

“Charter, I’ll need to let her know.” 

“Yes Lace, I’m sorry” Adaar was now glaring at Varric who didn’t have the same protection to hide behind.

“Now Lace,”

“Scout Harding to you,” there was a visible oooooh from the crowd as he was schooled.

“Ah, don’t blame her, Scout Harding, I just take a copy of the smutty bits, the rest I don’t take notes on. We have an understanding,” Charter looked horrified at Varric’s words, as everyone scattered from round him, leaving him firmly in the path of Harding who looked ready to kill him stone dead. “No, not me and Charter, I meant me and the Nightingale herself. I mean it’s not as if we don’t all know what's going on, we all travel together. No one has issues with all the secret Warden messages flying back and forth, or the Crown ones. Or the Tevinter ones for that matter.” Issy was looking at him strangely, before offering him a salute, a farewell salute.

“Shit,” the normally placid Adaar (when she wasn’t busy trying to kill Varric for causing issues for Charter) sounded even more upset as she pointed out at the crashing waves, soon followed by further expletives from the others as they spotted what she had. Two distinct figures swimming out in the direction of the island they had been fast approaching on before they’d paused to let Harding kill Varric.

“Well, I mean the worlds been great right, wars and such, maybe the breach will just stay as it is, and we can all just move to the two places without rifts to live, right?” Varric chose to embrace the distraction.

“Or we can make a run for it and meet them there, hopefully, and if need be we tie a rope around your middle and we throw you in to save them.” Adaar had already made a break for it, clutching Charter in her arms as if she was nothing but a small doll for all the notice she took of the extra weight.

“Shit, if they don’t get killed in the riptide, or the rocks, the King will kill them for sure.” Alistair shouted back, also running to catch them up.

“I would like to put myself up for re-education, Arishok.” as Hissrad and the Arishok made their way with Varric to catch the others, as they stumbled across the slime covered rocks crossing over onto the small island.

“Asit tal-eb”

“Arishok...”

“Hey, who wouldn’t want the sweetest job in the world, all the hot sex you could ever want, interesting people, deities, impossible feats, look, from all we can work out, everyone they cross paths with gets legend status, you could even end up as Arishok at the end of this,” Varric helpfully added to the private conversation.

“Tal Vashoth can’t be Arishok” this statement made the spy slip in outraged shock, with only Puppy saving him from falling into the crashing waves.

“I bet you didn’t tell the Mrs that when you picked him out eh,” came a slightly snickering retort from Varric.

“The Ariqun is not my Mrs,” 

“Arishok?” it was amazing how much hurt could be put into one word.

“You will do your best to resist and keep a balance, but it is asit tal-eb. Meraad astaarit, meraad itwasit, aban aqun. If you fail in your duty to assure then ebost issala.” only Puppy’s firm grip held Hissrad up.

“Meravas Arishok.” there was a distinctly frosty feel to the tone, as he straightened himself up.

“Hissrad, your messages will be sent directly to my hand.” they had caught up enough to the others for Charter to pop up by his side.

“And they will go through mine this end…” she winked at him, with Adaar offering a dangerous smile.

“Hissrad, Itwa-ost, itwasaam.” He nodded, shaking himself out of Puppy’s grasp, the others having the grace to pretend the spy hadn’t been excommunicated preemptively, as they started to cleave through a nest of mabari sized dragonlings in their haste to make it to the dock.

“Meravas Arishok.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed reading this aloud, like my cheeks ache from grinning while reading it. Enjoy!


	15. Family Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a daughter and father are reunited. Sex happens, and people aren't pissy, honest.

“So tell me more, was it as the dwarf or as the Qunari when you slept with her?” Varric couldn’t let it drop, choosing to let the others deal with the dragonlings so he could pester his old acquaintance.

“Pretty sure it was both,” Issy shouted back helpfully as Alistair made considering noises.

“I think she’s right, they did all disappear off while we were getting information, in fact…” he gave the blank-faced Arishok a look. “Don’t you remember how when we came back Varric, they had gotten into a tussle with some of the dock workers, that left them bruised and happy, all four of them.” 

“Pretty sure it was both, huh Rivaini?”

“Well I didn’t see him sleep with her as a dwarf, I mean…” 

“Parshaara” 

“Maybe he’s really come back for round three?” Adaar was catty as she wrapped her arm around the pirates neck, looking scornfully at the hornless man.

“Hissrad, if this gets into the dwarfs book you have instructions to kata imekari.” there was a pause as Adaar snorted, giving the spy a look.

“The Iron Bull, at some point someone somewhere will get the dwarf, you merely have to wait.” 

“Wait a second, Arishok, I thought we were friends…” Varric affected a shocked tone as Adaar started to make moves whilst Charter whispered something in Puppies ear that had him nodding slowly.

“Alistair!” there was an audible releasing of breath, even as the normally affable Prince blanched at the sound of his name being bellowed across the dock to where his mirror image stood, soaking wet, in front of a beaming Anora who looked radiant in her leather armour, looking the epitome of an Alamarri warrior Queen. 

There was a tussle as Puppy and Charter were dragging Adaar off to the other side of the group, with Issy dancing between helping and curiosity to see what would happen if they let the strapping woman closer to the Arishok.

“Coming brother,” the couple were nowhere to be seen, but the look in his brothers eyes, and the fact he was sopping wet and his wife wasn’t implied they would be close by.

“Father!” Anora was waving happily at her taciturn parent, who in return smiled, bowing before his daughter, before she leapt at her parent, much to her husbands groan, hugging the breath out of him.

“Alistair, I swear if this is another coup I will go marry the blasted Empress,” the grin on his face as he ducked the dagger that was flung in his direction refuting the words. 

“Cailan, I love Anora dearly, but only like a sister, she is what makes the Palace bearable, but I wouldn’t marry her. Also, I seem to remember being promised that I would never have to wear that blasted thing.” He made his way forward to give his brother a manly hug, forgetting momentarily how wet he looked, before shrieking as water was dripped down his neck.

“Of course you wouldn’t, she’s not short enough for your deviant desires, and before I forget, if you leave me alone with Uncle again, I will look at an early retirement, we can retire somewhere nice, maybe Antiva, and leave you to it..” a mutual rolling of the eyes at who he had been referring to.

“Cailan be nice to your brother,” his wife called back from where she was now inspecting her father, spinning him around and checking his face, as he bore it with good grace.

“Makers breath woman. He’s brought the blasted spawn of Archdemons, a foreign power - nice to see you again Arishok, the bloody Champion, Avvar barbarians - only in the eyes of the landsmeet though to be honest, she’d never let me hold such thoughts. Oh and I forgot worst of all, your wretched father.” He moved Alistair so he was in the direct line of Anora who let out a growl at the latter.

“Pleasure to see you too, Cailan. I’m honoured to rank higher than everyone else on your list,” Mac Tir’s tone was droll, whilst his son in law’s lip twitched into a quick smirk.

“Never trust the in-laws” he whispered to Alistair who choked as Anora made another threatening noise. 

“The Royal Historian isn’t here to note this down for the annals of time, though I am sure Varric Tethras’s version may be less smutty, so that will have to do. On behalf of, well ourselves, welcome to Ferelden, I hope your trip is pleasant, and that you will find plenty of time to enjoy our fine cuisine, culture and hospitality.” he gave them a perfunctory bow to the amassed horde. “And if you are looking for the blasted couple, you can find them in the royal bed, where my blasted - sorry, my wonderful Queen who I do not deserve, invited them,” he growled playfully at his wife, peeking out from behind Alistair, as she nodded in a most regal manner at him.

“Of course they are, where else would they be.” her father chose not to comment on the matter of fact way she stated it.

“Better that they were invited than just invaded, you know they would without a moments thought, and he’d get real cranky about it, and start shouting for their heads again.” Alistair gave his sister in law an approving grin, even as his brother was spluttering at the familial betrayal.

“Anyway, after my brother and my wife have stopped stabbing me in the back, and you rabble breach the royal vessel, you will be glad to know it has already been decided,” he muttered quietly into Alistair’s ear that sent him off into a choking fit, “Well Anora and they discussed I was just told to sit quietly and look pretty” he helpfully pounded on his choking brothers back, a little harder than necessary, “that there is space for us to take some of you back when we return. I personally think that it would be better for you to swim it, the health benefits, but my darling wife has overridden my wishes as is her way…”

“Naturally dear, someone has to keep you in check.” the look she gave him was both loving and threatening.

“Some days, like today for instance,” he shot her a cheeky chagrined look, “it feels like I have a whole sea of people willing to curb my personal wants and desires.” 

“Speaking of which, father will you excuse us, do you think we can delay our reunion by say a couple of candle marks?” Mac Tir gave her a pained smile, before kissing her on the cheek.

“Say no more, please, say no more.” she gave a girlish giggle as she made her way back to her husbands side, pushing Alistair back towards the rest of them.

“Uh, shall we say until nightfall?” Cailan gave his Queen a long careful look as he spoke, letting out a small growl as she cocked her head in consideration.

“Evening meal,” 

“Oh and Lu said to find the missing scouts without them,” the Royal couple had given up all pretence of looking at anyone but each other.

“And Vicky said not to do anything that she wouldn’t approve of,” Anora had moved closer to her King, her hand toying with his long blonde locks as he tried to plant soft kisses on it.

“Right, wonderful, nice to see you both too, nothing like being wanted eh. Also tell mother that things she doesn’t approve of leaves a lot of scope, so far all I can think of is standing on high things and spiders…” Alistair good-naturedly groused, before looking betrayed at the word “cheese” that came from his younger cousin. “We’ll make sure to make a lot of noise when we return, give you plenty of notice… not that you’ll care, honestly Cailan, in front of your father in law!” he pulled a face at the way the two had started to circle each other, hands tangled in hair.

Not everyone obeyed the request to vacate the area, the spy and his Arishok remained, which in turn had Adaar staying which had Charter leaving instructions to Puppy on how he was to keep her from killing the Arishok, which had both of the male Qunari looking highly doubtful, even as Adaar casually crushed a large rock with a smash of Lu’s maul.

However, it had worked out, well it had after Puppy managed to get Adaar occupied from casually breaking things while staring at the Arishok, as shortly after the main group had left to track down the missing scouts, a rift opened up next to the boat. The four remaining warriors easily dispatching the demons that spawned until Lu appeared, looking more mauled than any of them, closing the rift with strained gasp as he overreached with his arm.

“Adaar, mind popping it back in for me?” she rolled her eyes as he heard his shoulder click, before manipulating it back into place, as he let out a yawn. 

“Working hard are we?” 

“Ah, a husbands work is never done,” he tugged Puppy into a roughhousing embrace, ruffling up his hair as the Avvar male had stared at the boat trying to spy the smaller female. “She’s busy, she won’t be too much longer though, well, I hope not too much,” he cracked his knees and then stretched before ambling back on board.

Puppy had had to stop Adaar from smacking the spy though, as he began to snicker at them, not quite understanding the reason behind the mirth.

“You of all people should understand his need for comfort, Hissrad” she managed to spit out the name, scowling at the one-eyed menace.

“It’s clear for all to hear what’s going on, even for those who don’t have our hearing, or is he not used to sharing with humans.” there was a hint of spite behind the words, and Puppy strained to keep her from surging forward, Charters instructions had been clear.

“Just because you are hurting, does not give you the right to hurt him. Only beasts and children lash out when hurt.” there was a minute flinch at this.

“Parshaara!” The Arishok interjected as Hissrad opened his mouth. “Before you act more like imekari. She is protecting as she has been given the duty to.” There was a moment as she opened her mouth, before choosing against speaking, given him a sharp nod then turning away from them both, pulling her charge away from the two Qunari. They headed up the hill which had Puppy relaxing as they got further away from the potential threat.

They didn’t return from the small cabin at the top of the hill until after the others had returned, and the occupants of the ship were coaxed out for food. At which point the two weary warriors returned back down, with Puppy heading straight for the small females side, where they ate and then disappeared back up the hill with soothing touches and whisperings. Puppy was looking highly stressed over the whole ordeal of being left alone to control Adaars rages, and Vicky was looking highly energised coasting the high of a good session that had ended far too soon.

Adaar found herself now hoiked into Lu’s lap, after a casual whisper from Charter who had taken one look at the visibly vibrating female, and decided more interventions would be needed. And so the male and female Qunari became cocooned in a more intimate group, as the larger played barrier protecting them from the potential fallout of another encounter between the spy, Adaar and the Arishok.

“Maybe next time send her out?” was all she could offer, with Lu looking a little confused at the words, “Or take him with you?” there was a pause as he looked over her head at Charter who pointed up at the hill where the faint sounds of howling could be heard.

“I’m sure you were fine,” there was a moment where Charter gave him a look similar to one he received from his wife, the one where he had failed something, “She’s had to do this before, he’ll get through it,” Charter let out an audible sigh as she pointed behind Adaars back at the two other Qunari and then at Adaar, as Lu who had missed the earlier confrontation just looked a little bewildered.

“He’s work” Fenris met Lu’s eyes steadily, ducking as Charter smacked him with her elbow, before Rylen picked her up, stopping her from doing any more harm.

“He has a need,” Rylen covered Charter’s mouth as she opened it to try and get them back on track, yelping as she bit down hard on his offending fingers.

“Yes yes yes, Puppy is work, however, Lu, perhaps we should be more concerned about” she was interrupted by Fenris again who had found an opening to say what he had been wanting to bring up for days.

“Will she meet all our needs?” 

“Did you just call his wife a slut?” Cullen asked curiously with faint innocence, as Fenris had the grace to pinken.

“I mean they already meet mine” Rylen leered at Lu, who winked back at him, Charter kicking back hard making him release her as she brushed herself down, beginning to work back into her original point as Adaar spoke up.

“Other than closing the breach, all my needs are met,” Charter gave the female a betrayed look as she was headed off yet again. Adaar wriggled back into the larger males lap, letting out a happy sigh at the resulting hardness, only a minute shake of her head alerting the lithe elf to her deliberate actions to stop the conversation that Charter wanted to have.

“She’s always met mine…” Lu growled happily out, nipping at the captured females neck gently, letting his teeth worry at the dusky skin.

“Dad!” Alistair made a groaning noise, his nose wrinkling at the thought of his adopted parents needs being met in any way shape or form. 

“I adore the fact that you have seen us screw like bunnies, and you even can tell us who we’ve slept with from before, and yet it still makes you squirm when I talk about something as precious and pure as my wonderful wife meeting my needs,” He grinned, rasping his tongue against the salt-tinged flesh.

“In fairness Daddy” Dorian ooffed as Alistair tackled him into the ground, as soon as he uttered the dreaded word, squawking as his robes got mud caked in them.

“Don’t take something that's pure and nice and make me hate it, Dorian!” Alistair was busy trying to rub as much dirt as he could onto the irate Mage, whilst Felix ignored them both, engaging with Anders in a deep and meaningful conversation about bread as Dorian called out for help.

“Play nice boys,” this time Lu didn’t lift his head up as he spoke, the vibrations from his lips making Adaar shiver delightfully, it was however enough to stop the tall prince from rubbing more dirt into the Tevinter Mages hair in revenge.

“Anyway, it’s not just her, he does as well” Charter had slunk up carefully to them, wrapping her arms around hesitantly, as she managed to brush the backs of her fingers carefully across Adaars stiffened nipples. She was rewarded with a kiss as the owner of said nipples stretched back far enough to reach, all now forgiven.

“Thanks Petal, but I think what Fenris wants to know is something different. Maybe, but she’ll fix the problems she knows about, we will fix them. You may however not enjoy the solutions,” there was a slight twitch of his lips at this, with the enthusiastic nodding from Cullen and Alistair at that statement.

“Like when we were fighting over who got the last cookie, and they threw it for the birds, they didn’t even have the decency to eat it themselves, they just broke it up into crumbs and threw it out for the birds, and then made us clean the henhouse out.” Cullen coughed, elbowing his old roommate as Rylen gave him a knowing look.

“We were very young,” Alistair nodded in agreement with Cullens statement.

“Or when they made us explain why we needed more - Ouch!” 

“Maybe we could pretend that we were model recruits?” 

“I wasn’t going to mention the lotion, oh for - I wasn’t -” he cut himself off as Cullen gave him an evil stare as Varric appeared with his book.

“So what’s this about lotion, Curly?” there was a pause as Cullen hovered his hand over a large rock, with Alistair trying to hide behind Dorian who was still trying to pull bits of debris out of his hair.

“Anyway, you may not like the solutions, but it’s what she does, she’s very good at making a decision.” Lu brought the conversation back from Cullen committing regicide, moving Charters hand further down Adaars body, stopping it as soon as they hit the bit that made her twitch just so.

“What about him?” Fenris tilted his head up to the cabin at the top of the hill, where they could see the flickering of lights and still hear the faint howls of earlier.

“You want to know if we’ll just up and leave him now he’s broken?” Lu lifted his head away from the bruised flesh, gently soothing the whine away from Adaar at the loss of touch.

“He wants to know if she’s an uncaring god,” Charter stared at Fenris, her eyes illuminated by the fire, as he returned the gaze unflinchingly. 

“Charter, petal, none of this god shit” it broke through the moment, with a snort of laughter from his oversized son and snickers from Cullen and Rylen.

“I mean she did say it was better suited to have the whole god conversation with you than her, but maybe not right at the moment?” Alistair grinned, starting to help Dorian seemingly have forgotten the earlier offence.

“We are as much gods as anyone of you,” there was an awkward pause as Issy shouted from across the clearing, “I’ve been called a sex god!” with Lu half groaning at her words.

“Fenris, whatever the reason for his need, his behaviour is just between them. I can assure you that she won’t abandon him without building him back up, she hasn’t yet.” there was a dark look that settled on his face as he spoke the next words, “This is not the first time we have had this situation, she has a...talent for finding broken things…” then he smiled.

“I will admit that I don’t always understand what it is, that side she is much better at, it’s something she has always had inside of her. I enjoy the benefits, I happily enjoy the benefits, and I will happily lead if I need to, but it’s not my purpose, it’s not what gets me off.” he bit down on Adaar’s neck making her push back into him.

“He isn’t a slave,” Charter pulled back from the two Qunari, her hands no longer teasing as she moved across to Fenris’s side. “Not like that,”

“Shit, uh..” Adaar pushed away from Lu, trembling at the loss of all contact, trying to regain her senses with long deep calming breaths so that she could form actual sentences without the distraction of Lu’s touches. “Fenris, you need to talk to her about it, properly talk to her.” Charter nodded. “I could tell you what I think is going on between them, and Charter could tell you her perspective on it. Puppy doesn’t have the words to explain his feelings though, it's why he struggled so much thanks to the one-eyed prick earlier. You need to talk to her.” Charter gave Lu a definite look, at which he nodded.

“Just not now, you need to give them some time,” Lu spoke up as Fenris started to move.

“Puppy has had a hard day,” Adaar’s tone turned into a warning one, her mood shifting again to one of protection as Charter gave Lu more pointed looks with him holding his hands up in surrender.

“Tomorrow then,” he settled back down, allowing Cullen to bash him into Rylen like naughty children, as Dorian had started to berate Alistair in the background for how much dirt he’d gotten into his hair, with the Prince taking it with relative grace.

“Yeah, oh and maybe give her something sweet to stop her from eating you, unless of course you want her too…” Lu grinned at Fenris, as Adaar returned happily to his lap.

“Due to lack of sleep, or other?” Adaar tugged his hand to her stomach, as she gazed up at the Cabin on the hill.

“Combination probably,” he kissed her cheek gently, a soft expression on his face as he followed her gaze, up to where he could just about make out the sound of a whip. “Long day, into long night by the sounds of it. Body hating itself mixed with complex emotional needs, after days of emotional complexity,” he did well not to look at them with this none too subtle reminder.

“Best wait until the day after then Fenris,” Adaar offered to the elf.

“La la la, not thinking about it,” Alistair stuck his hands over his ears, whilst Charter stuck her tongue out at him, with Dorian taking the opportunity to retreat to Cullen’s side now he was no longer being groomed.

“How about we talk about other things, stop the Prince from dying of embarrassment like a child,” Cullen offered him an out, in solidarity for their shared past, with Dorian promptly ruining it now he was safely out of range.

“Oh yes, how was the Royal Couple? Is he everything they say he is?” With what Varric would write down as a shit-eating grin, in the records.

“That’s my brother, can we not talk about my brother and my parents having sex,” Alistair whined, looking at the water to see if it was worth throwing himself in.

“Don’t worry Alistair, what goes on in the Royal Chambers, stays in the Royal Chambers,” Adaar choked at the sound from the Prince, as Duncan suddenly pulled him back from straying too close to the waters edge.

“I was thinking more about the scout situation, the one we actually went to solve, that Lu doesn’t know about because he was…” Charter tailed off as Dorian helpfully ended the sentence.

“Having sex with Alistair’s brother and sister in law?”

“Dorian!” Felix interrupted his pleasant conversation to shout at his friend, who merely waved it off.

“Ah yes, they have been captured and are currently being held to ransom by the Blades, the Blades of Hessarian, who are not at all what they were supposed to be according to all the information we had about them. They didn’t take kindly to outsiders taking over their territory or so the note says. They want to teach the interlopers a lesson and will release them if we pay handsomely for their release.” There were some disbelieving scoffs at that, with Lu looking at Varric who was busy reading from his notes.

“Along with that note which had been helpfully left with the corpses of the villagers who had been picked over as well as Hawke did with everyone we ever came across in Kirkwall” there was an “Oi, I resemble that comment” from Hawke who had been flirting with the Arishok after being ignored by his lover who was still deep in conversation with Felix.

“You do Hawke, it’s why I used you as an example,” there was a pause as Adaar and Lu shrugged at each other, neither of them having much experience at this, “As I was saying, we found another note hidden in a chest with an amulet that we can use to challenge the current leader of the Blades for control of the group, saving us from either paying, or slaughtering everyone.” 

“So, this is the point where I get to clap you all on the back, say great job gang, and we have our scouts back and they are chilling with the others?” Lu looked at Varric with forlorn hope.

“There was a disagreement as to who would be the one to challenge for leadership.” Rylen helpfully added, grinning at Lu.

“I don’t want to ask why, because I can guess, and I really don’t want to say it because it’ll cause me to consider difficult things…” 

“Isabela was willing to step forward,” there was a whoop from the pirate at the mention of her name, “she said she quite fancied having her own land harem. Solas had an “absolute hissy fit” when any of the Wardens stepped forward.” Solas let out a growl at the description, with Rylen holding his hands up, “Not my description, but you do admit you were not happy about the idea…” the elf sniffed in response. “Hawke said that he wasn’t going to take any responsibility for them, because he had already done his bit and he was just here to be a lackey…” Hawke tipped an invisible hat at them.

“Amund wouldn’t agree to it either, Fenris had as much of a hissy fit as Solas when we offered it to him.” Rylen ducked out of the way as Fenris gave him an outraged poke. “I mean you did both go on for a bit about the whole thing… Merrill, it was decided wouldn’t remember to feed them” there was a moments pause as Lu stared at him with disbelief, “Take it up with the Kirkwall lot, they were the ones who shut that one down, and she didn’t exactly object. And the rest of us took on board the decisions you made before about not to keep any power for ourselves.” Rylen hurried up with the last sentence, hoping that it would be ignored as it had been an obvious ploy not to make the decision without them.

“What about Connor then?” Lu glanced at the young lad who was busy badly flirting with an oblivious looking Merrill across the camp.

“We caught a glimpse of the bastard leading them, we decided that it was better not to let him get squished in seconds, Alistair was concerned Teagan would follow through on his threats.” Alistair shrugged as Rylen spoke. 

“I’m allowed to be concerned about him, I mean in a few years he’d be fine, he did well with the dragon, but still I can’t guarantee that he wouldn’t end up dead.” 

“So what about Solas then? If he was so insistent on the Wardens not doing it,” he stopped for a moment and then retracted it as the man sniffed at him again, “Bad idea then, what about Varric then? Surely our esteemed writer fancies having a band of - religious nutcases? At his bidding?”

“I’m going for the pure Inquisition approach, Blue, so I can write the authentic version at the end, you hear about actors doing it in the Val Royeaux, living the characters life, living in slums so they can experience and translate the true pain onto the stage. It’s what I’m doing with my writing, so the reader can fully appreciate how it truly feels to be noble.” Lu gave him a look. “Or I just know I’ll end up paying for whatever they do, the Seeker would track me down and make me do more crap, maybe stab me in some more books…” 

“Fair.” Cullen gave Varric a knowing look.

“You’ll be glad to know we left Harding and Duncan keeping an eye out in case anything changes, but they seem to be fine currently. We decided that it would be better if you two…” Cullen trailed off, looking between Lu and the cabin on the hill.

“She’ll kill you all.” 

“She loves us really,” Rylen gave him a cheeky grin.

“Like she loves stones in her shoes, hell I’m not sure if I love you currently, no wait, I don’t.”

“I did not throw a hissy fit,” Fenris had waited for Rylen to be distracted before poking him again.

“Of course not, it wasn’t at all what brought on the whole “evil gods enslaving us all” bit at all.” Charter gave him a playful wink.

“I mean, we could just kill them all, as us evil Tevinter mages weren’t allowed a look in at having our own harem of strapping men…” Dorian piped up from Alistair’s armpit, where he had been stuffed again for perceived slights, not that he had overly complained at being stolen from Cullen’s side.

“Best wait a couple of days I think before you talk to her about the whole Puppy thing, Fenris,” Adaar snuggled back into Lu, curling up in his arms like a small child.

“Dorian, I want to be there tomorrow when you tell her your suggestion,” Alistair let his mage up for air excitedly.

“Don’t torment Dorian, Alistair,”

“Yes Dad…”

“..dy”

“Dorian!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which the author has yet again managed to get herself five chapters behind. Again.


	16. Duelling at Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vicky "slips" which happens when you get no sleep, so it's not her fault honest. Old hurts are thrashed out, and sleeping does happen as does eating.

When the two returned down the hill, Puppy was looking very blissed out, the epitome of his namesake, bouncing as he walked down. The small dwarf had an easy smile on her lips every time he looked to her for reassurance that she was still there, but there was a grey cast to her normally pale skin, and her eyes were faintly red and bruised. Adaar took over Puppy watch, having been instructed to ensure he had plenty of sleep, and that Adaar would need to make sure he was fully rubbed down before he was allowed to do so.

She was immediately jumped on by both Charter and Lu who had been waiting for her return, with the former filling her in on the scouts peril and the latter pushing food and water at her, holding her down as she had gone to get up as Charter let her know that they were still prisoners.

“Drink, eat, and then we can go. We’ll have fun shouting at people later love,” he rubbed at the back of her neck, before gently running his talons over her shoulders and the sweet spot on her back, chuckling softly as she moaned in relief.

“Charter love, go get Cailan, tell him he needs to come with me, I’d prefer Anora but best not to risk it.” Charter nodded curiously at her, leaving Lu to rub and scratch at his wife's back until she was all but purring.

By the time Cailan was ready, the sun had started to rise, bathing the area in a faint rainbow glimmer, which did little to help the small dwarfs complexion, only helping to highlight the bruised dry eyes to the eagle eyes of Charter.

“You have time to sleep?” Lu kept quiet as there was a soft snort from his wife.

“We do this now, and then I can sleep, otherwise I won’t sleep and I’ll be vile to everyone I come in contact with. Cailan you are coming with me, time to be a King. Charter you are going to take us to where we need to go, and Lu my awesome wonderful truly adorable husband, I need you to keep everyone else here.” He shot her a look, before nodding.

“I’d ask you to explain, but I suspect I won’t like it. So, don’t do anything truly stupid?” She was the picture of wide-eyed innocence. “Yeah, just don’t get killed?” he snorted at the look she gave him.

“How could I die when in the presence of such a wonderful, hero of a King?” Cailan snorted at that, with Charter choosing to set off than get drawn into potentially treasonous actions.

Alistair had tried to follow, having been woken up by Puppy’s return, but had been called back from leaving the area by Lu, looking utterly resigned to the fact that they were going off without the rest of them.

Charter had the dubious pleasure of leading them, with the King and the dwarf walking just far enough back to be out of hearing range, beyond the random loud curses from the King that after the third time she had stopped turning round to investigate. She had also bitten back the slight amusement of seeing the Alistair clone leaning down, looking very awkward as his companion did her best to make herself as short as possible out of what Charter could only assume was playful spite.

She was relieved as they got to the camp, and both Duncan and Harding melted into view, taking up position behind them, with Duncan looking concerned about the combination of the King and Vicky, though choosing not to speak after Cailan had given him a cheery if not strained smile. 

The guards on the gate looked perplexed as they approached, with the amulet being proudly worn by the smallest of them and the least threatening, as she had set out once more with nothing more than her trusty crystals and whip, choosing yet again to not bother with boots. She paused, holding her hand out that the King gallantly grasped, as she then used him to prop up against as she stood on one leg, brushing a stone away from the sole of her foot with a happy sigh. “You should really make a nice path, just for future reference.” There was more bewilderment from the guards at the carefree tone. Choosing to open the gate than have to deal with the strangeness at this time of day.

Cailan was held back by Charter as the leader started to taunt them, clearly not impressed by the challenge, even as the small dwarf stared up at the man with an exasperated expression.

“Yes, that’s all very interesting, but is this a duel to the death, or until one yeilds?” Charter then gave Vicky a look, which she ignored.

“The victors choice, my lady” came an answer from the small crowd of sleepy-looking Blades that had crowded out to watch the challenge.

“And I shall choose for you to die,” the leader called out triumphantly, looming over her with his hatchet already in hand, frowning as she rolled her eyes.

“Good to know where we all stand, shall we?” she mock bowed, stepping back out of his reach before tossing her red crystal up into the air, which he took as a signal to attack. 

It was brief.

Her hand grabbed his, breaking his grip on the hatchet and throwing him down to the ground her knee hitting his neck, cutting off his breath with an easy smile. “So last time I did this, I gave three chances at life, but sadly for you.. I’m unbelievably tired, you slaughtered the people in the area for no discernible reason, I have little to absolutely no patience. So I am going to be nice, you get one chance. Do you yield?” her voice was low and feral as she pressed her knee sharply into his throat, the red crystal balancing in her hand.

He nodded as best he could, and so she retreated back, turning round to roll her eyes at Cailan only to be met with a look of sheer panic on his face, the piercing whistle from the man making her stamp her feet in pique as three large hounds appeared from the stables, barrelling into the small opening.

“You absolute fucker.” she span, and shoved the crystal into his chest, punching through the leather-like a hot knife through butter, growling at the dogs as they approached. Only one choosing to back down at the sheer fury rolling off her small form, the other two finding themselves quickly dispatched with snapped necks.

There was a barely audible, “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10” as the victor kept her back to them all, her shoulders heaving as she breathed. “So, any doubts as to who won?” she slowly turned back around, not bothering to clean her crystal as it dripped with gore, facing the gathered onlookers. “Wonderful, the lack of response means I’ll take that as a “Yes Vicky, you won” so that makes you sorry lot mine now.” this was not a question.

“Yes my lady, you challenged and won” they started to take a knee, stopping only as she hissed at them.

“Wonderful, well then, seems like we have stuff to discuss but our people need to be taken back from where they came from. So… Duncan, you need to take them back to the others, Harding too.” There was some shuffling, as the Warden-Commander stared at her with a considering look. 

“Wonderful, glad to see you are in agreement with me Duncan,” he gave a half-smile, as Charter glared, daring her to send her away as well. “We’ll follow once we’ve sorted out the details. Give us an hour, if we aren’t an hour behind, feel free to send the cavalry, and maybe some clean clothes… Don’t look at me like that Charter, you get to stay don’t you fret, who else will be able to lead us back?”

“We can, it would be our honour too” Charter was the one to hiss now as one of the braver Blades helpfully offered. 

Vicky waited precisely long enough for Duncan and crew to leave earshot before upsetting Charter. “Right, so let's get this clear right now, the duel only ends when someone yields or dies? But they can definitely yield?” 

“Yes my lady,” Charter was looking more and more upset, as Cailan was giving the dwarf are you sure looks.

“I’m guessing,” she tossed over the amulet to Cailan who fumbled, with Vicky groaning at the weak catch, “he has to actually win? I can’t just hand you sorry bunch over to him?” she addressed the nominated spokesman, who was busy staring in disbelief as Charter was now glaring at all of them.

“It has to be a challenge, my Lady,”

“Figures, nothing is ever simple. So you heard the man, Cailan, treat it like a free pass to get all those nasty feelings out from all the horrible terrible things I’ve ever done to you. But we have like an hour, or less than, so… make it good.” She gave him a grin, Charter being held back as she moved to intervene. 

“I’ve only had to wait eleven years,” he rolled his shoulders, testing out his blade with a few practice swings, before pointing at her still gorey crystal. “Are you playing with just that, or will you play with real weapons like the big people do, short-arse.”

“Laugh it up brat, I mean we could just brawl if that gets your gander up…” she rolled her eyes at him, before taking the shield offered up by the spokesman, choosing to keep her crystal over the offered sword.

“We know damn well you’d go straight for the Royal Jewels and take me out in a brawl,” he snickered as she nodded at him, before using his shield to push her back into the clearing properly. “Now, I do have one request, no whistling, you are really really bad at it.”

“I’ll have you know I am wonderful at it, all the important people say so…” 

“By all the important people, you mean you, you think you are good at it, has anyone else ever said it to you?” he started to treat it like a drill, hacking at her shield and bashing her back every time she moved close enough to get in crystal range.

“Next you’ll be trying to tell me how awful my singing is..” she winked at Charter, who was busy glaring hard enough to light them both on fire if she had possessed the magical power to do so.

“If I had to choose between you singing, and Lu singing, well I would pick you, if I had no choice, if it was I have to pick one of you or listen to Anora complain about no entertainment at a dinner party, or maybe death, if I had to pick between you two and death, I would pick you.” they grinned. “Maker, it’s like he can’t hear himself, he has a much better speaking voice, he should just speak the words than try and sing them.”

“I feel like I, as his loving wife, should defend him, but it’s pretty accurate, and I am known throughout the lands as Truthful Vicky, aka Vicky the Truth, it’s like my superpower, like you seem to have the one that provides you only with bad ideas.” he snorted at that, “Also I will have you know, people have complimented my singing.” She preened, pushing back at him, forcing him to take a few steps back before he regained the upper hand.

“People who wanted to get between your legs more like, short stuff.”

“Well you did already, and you didn’t tell me my voice was good….” she taunted him playfully.

“Ever heard of hate sex?” they snickered at that, even as they were beginning to get strange looks from the onlookers.

“Ever heard of denial?”

“You know we had a chat, and it’s been decided that we won’t be naming any offspring after the pair of you, none of them, in fact we might even put all of your names on the “not to have children called this” list that I’ve been considering offering out to the good citizens of this fair land.” There was some shuffling, with hissed whispers.

“Yeah, I’d love to see that, we all know Anora will be in charge of names, she won’t be trusting you with that responsibility…” 

“I resent that remark”

“More like resemble, she told me what you named your first mabari puppy, and well…” he gave her an outraged look.

“Ser Muddypaws was a true hero, it was both accurate and appropriate, also it was better than hers, Ser Aveline, and the pup wasn’t even a bitch!” He managed to look offended whilst she was sticking her tongue out at him, still beating out the drill as she would occasionally add an extra beat in, causing him to snicker at the involuntary music they were creating.

“Alright, time to stop playing, you need to hit harder, we are wasting too much time, and we’ll end up with a hoard of well-meaning worried idiots coming to interfere.” 

“As you command… as ever” the last part was muttered under his breath, but the strikes came harder, with sparks starting to fly as he chipped away at the shield, swinging forcefully until she was forced to drop it or risk losing an arm.

“Ever the idiot,” she tilted her neck, shifting back out of range with a cheeky grin.

“You may address me as King Idiot,” she snorted in laughter, as he launched forward, his sword swinging up to rest just against her neck, Charter visibly vibrating in rage.

“Only chance, King Idiot, this is the only chance you’ll get to have what you desired all those years ago.” She met his eyes in a steady gaze, the humour disappearing.

“Don’t I know it, the rules again, death or yield?”

“Victors choice,” she gave him a smile as she uttered the words, the area deathly silent.

“It would appear in this situation, I am the victor, and what a choice indeed it is,” she grinned at him, pressing ever so minutely onto the blade, letting it draw a thin trickle of blood, as he widened his eyes in disbelief, “Really… Do you yield?” and then as an afterthought, “Let me explain, I mean properly yield, not pretend until I turn my back and then you attack, type of yielding.”

She wrinkled her nose, holding steady for several breaths before “I yield, Idiot King” he pulled the blade away, withdrawing completely, making space for Charter who rushed over to start fussing over the cut, laughing at Vicky’s look of chagrin. 

“Best I could ask for I’m guessing, you at least called me King.” They grinned at each other, whilst the spokesman pledged allegiance once again, this time taking a hard look at Charter who held her hands up stating she had no plans to challenge the King.

“Before anyone gets a bright idea to challenge the King in the future, he’s going to add in a “he can nominate a second to fight for him” clause in, because he’s the King, and you fuckers aren’t going to kill him. Capiche?” the gorey crystal was waved in their faces, with Cailan looking highly amused.

“I’m sure they will be thrilled to learn that my second will be you, I think you’ve made a real impression on my fine band of…” Charter stared at him in disbelief.

“Why did you let her cut herself on your sword,” he grinned, as horror crept over her features having heard herself berate the monarch.

“Charter, sweety, it’s fine, I’m sure he keeps it clean, I bet he polishes it nightly, actually - probably best to throw a load of your strongest spirits over this cut before it does finish me off,” the dwarf didn’t look a bit repentant as it set off Charter once again.

Still, they didn’t waste too much more time, the Blades escorting them back as a reason not to linger too long, with them pledging to uphold the region in the name of the Crown, and to help rebuild the hamlet they had destroyed under the old leadership. Cailan in return promised to send them aid, and pledged to help keep the border clear of threats from the coastline, having discovered that the Royal Navy hadn’t been spotted in the waters for more than a while. 

It was a very frosty reception however on their return, as Lu had been the first one to spot the thin cut on her neck.

“I slipped and fell,” had been her only comment, with Cailan holding his hands up, and Charter shooting them both dirty looks, the Blades having chosen to escape to the back before being dragged into what looked to be a domestic dispute. However, she ignored them all, batting her lashes at Lu before pushing past to curl up next to Puppy and Adaar, quickly falling asleep. They allowed her to sleep until the evening, waking her only when Lu reappeared.

Harding had been given the responsibility of the missing Scouts, with Charter choosing to avoid being embroiled after she had started to shout, unable to retain her temper after experiencing the events of the morning. Instead she was given to the Blades, to take notes of locations of interest, mapping out for the Wardens where Darkspawn had been spotted, and the rifts for Lu.

Lu chose to head out with the Warden crew, after being given the option of who to go with, choosing the less mage option, the need to burn off excess energy a glorious motivator, coupled with the heady confidence from Alistair that he didn’t need to worry about being turned into a Warden. There had been a brief discussion about this, with Anders asking pointedly as to what Alistair was basing this on, with Alistair waving off the concerns with a good-natured “They were warden’s before” 

“Are you basing this off Fiona, Alistair?” there was a dubious tone in Duncan’s voice.

“All I’m saying is that he was a Warden before,” 

“Good enough for me,” there was a brief pause as there was searching for relevant arguments as to why Lu couldn’t go with them to fight darkspawn when he wanted to. 

“The joinings much safer now, it’ll be fine.” and with that they disappeared off for the day, returning much later muddy, bruised and slightly battered, but relaxed and starving, demolishing the feast provided to celebrate the new Leader of the Blades of Hessarian as quickly as food was being cooked.

The Kirkwallers had gone off without Anders to cull the local bear population, at the request of help from the Blades who had been unable to deal with the sheer number previously, the previous regime had taken a toll on morale and numbers greatly. However, the Kirkwallers had managed to stumble over several Grey Warden camps, sending word through to the Warden group, with Duncan stripping them clean of all Warden bits, ready to send the items back with Stroud and Loghain to Amaranthine to go with the others.

The Arishok had spent his time with Cailan and Anora, having conversations that had sent his Hissrad to take the Chargers to the far side of the island to run exercises with the remaining group, choosing to not be in earshot of the double meaning conversations that had been enough to turn him pale.

“So how exactly did she slip?” Dorian was busy swinging his staff in front of the Iron Bull, deciding after being ignored that he would draw more attention by asking Charter the question that some of them had been too polite to ask.

“Why don’t you ask her yourself,” came the retort, as Charter threw herself at Rylen, not fully forgiving him for the hand over her mouth from the previous night.

“Because, my delightful friend, you were there, and it must have happened after little and large were sent back with the ducklings following.” He was particularly pleased with the flourish he added to the staff swing, it had made his arms look particularly pleasing in the light, even if the brute hadn’t paid him any notice.

“I didn’t see her slip.” her tone was as sharp as the daggers she was busy thrusting into Rylen’s sides, pulling the thrust at the last moment as he made aggrieved noises.

“Oh how charming, so how did she get the nice mark?”

“Will you watch where you are stabbing at, you little harpy” Rylen was dancing back out of reach as she used the pommels of the daggers to bash at his elbows.

“Like I said, Dorian, why don’t you go and ask her.” 

“So if she didn’t slip, and she didn’t get it before the scouts were sent back home, and then the King is the new leader…?” Cullen let out a groan, as Charter narrowed her eyes at the posing Mage, who had somehow managed to strike the most ridiculous pose in front of his prey.

“Please say that they didn’t duel.” She wouldn’t look at Cullen, choosing instead to stalk up to Dorian.

“Are you happy, did this make you happy? The Iron Bull, you me, that cabin, now.” she jabbed her finger up at the hill, not waiting for his response as she set off, with him following like an obedient puppy, “Next time I tell you to ask her, that means ask her. So now, me and Bull are going to have wild mabari sex, instead of watching you pant for his attention. I hope this pleases you, Tevinter.” she yelled back down to him, leaving the object of her ire bewildered and ever so slightly put out.

“Well, it was nice knowing you Dorian,” Rylen patted him on the back as the rest of them picked back up where they left off with their training drills.

Harding appeared shortly after most of the feast had been consumed, mainly by the Wardens, with a missive in hand which she handed to Hawke unopened. The tone had been relatively relaxed, even discounting the sulking from Dorian, and the concerned looks from Cullen towards the small female who had a nice scab which she occasionally picked at as her husband swatted at her fingers. 

Hawke was sitting quietly, chatting with Fenris as he opened it up, barely sparing it a glance, until Fenris who was the one to read it, let out an expletive. Hawke then turning his full attention on, quickly reading through once, and then twice before handing it over to Fenris to reread, the pair of them now letting out soft curses as it was passed around the other Kirkwallers. 

The note was then passed round to Cullen, who read it before passing it on to Lu, who then passed it to Vicky, before calling an official meeting with a sigh at the second time of having to do so coming far sooner than anyone had wanted.

“Alright, for those who haven’t had chance to see the message, Hawke has received word from Kirkwall, that the Vaels who are from - “ there was a soft murmur from Rylen “Starkhaven” who looked somewhat embarrassed by it, “Which is on the map, north or south of Kirkwall” Rylen added “North” with Varric adding “we know where it is Blue.”

“Right, so Kirkwall has been declared war on by the Vaels, who come from Kirk - Starkhaven, which is close to Kirkwall, and the Vaels who are…” he trailed off before handing over the explanation to someone else.

“The Vaels have decided to wage their own private exalted march on Kirkwall for the events that took place there, they know where things are in relation to other places dear. So it will come as no surprise when we say that of course we’ll be taking a slight detour to hop across the sea and help out our kin in peril, because there is still a large proportion of Fereldens in Kirkwall yes?” Vicky stepped in, giving Cailan a look who merely held his hands up in peace.

“I would lend aid, and while yes we do have people who have declined to return, by offering military aid it will be seen as an act of aggression on behalf of Ferelden against the Free Marches, so sadly our hands will be tied.” she started to give him a look as he took a breath, “That is to say, I and my wife as King and Queen have our hands tied, you however as you have proved time and time again, are beholden to no one. The Inquisition is not a Ferelden force, and Hawke is the brother to the current Viscount.” 

“And naturally as the family of one of our Wardens will be in peril, we of course will be coming to the aid of Kirkwall, and we will obviously need to take note of any potential issues with the Deep Roads access…” Alistair bowed in his seat to Hawke, who was looking rather pale.

“I think we as the Inquisition should be looking into all the rifts that may have sprung up in such a thinly veiled place, we can’t just ignore it because the Vaels fancy themselves a bit of a war.” Charter shot Adaar a look as she spoke, before shrugging.

“I don’t disagree, we should be looking at closing any and all rifts. It is what we set out to do after all.” Adaar grinned at her fellow favourite female, as Vicky graced them both with approving grins.

“And as a former Knight-Captain of Kirkwall, it is only expected that I would return also,” Cullen offered.

“As a Starkhaven born and bred, it would be rude not to go and show a better side to my fair home nation, and to see if Molly’s still selling the finest breads in all of Kirkwall,” There was a murmur at the latter, and an aside from Hawke, “She’s moved to Val Royeaux, not long before we left to meet up with you all.”

“You’ve just hired us on, it would be bad form to abandon you at the first hurdle, as there were no opt-out clauses added to our contract…” The Iron Bull added, not looking towards the Arishok who was watching with some interest.

“Alright, so the new plan, which is similar to the old plan but instead of us heading back to Haven, we head to Kirkwall. We send the ones who were planning to go back to Denerim with the Crown, everyone else comes with, we get to show that we really aren’t just a Ferelden force by being all nice outside of the country - not that it’s not a great country because it’s been a blast…” There was some snickering at this, “So we go to the Free Marches to lend aid, and if we happen to be in Kirkwall first, well then… Also maybe we shame the Chantry into meeting with us, and we get to rebuild some bridges so we can go to the Approach?” 

“Sounds like a wonderful plan, one I am sure will not bite us later on at all. Do you remember that conversation we had about not invading Orlais?” Lu gave his wife a dubious smile, letting his point sink in.

“It’s not an invasion though, because we have been invited, the Viscount has requested our presence” he gave her a more dubious look. “Well, he asked for his brother to come back, and as his brother is with us, invitation. We can’t just leave them, not when it looks like it’ll be a right nightmare of a time, and what's the point of us doing all this if we can’t help.”

“I’m not disagreeing, I’m just pointing out that this is skirting very close to what we said we wouldn’t be doing, in fact poor Alistair had his ears ringing after your tirade about the very thing we are proposing to do.”

“Invitation, means not an invasion.” she started to get a mulish expression as he shrugged.

“Like I said dear, not disagreeing with going to fix it...” an awkward pause as they stared at each other.

“Only need to get over there now, that is the only thing that is currently holding us back right?” someone bravely cut across the staring to redirect the conversation away from divorce topics back to the matter at hand.

“The route back to Par Vollen will have us docking in Kirkwall, there are some items that need retrieving before our return.” 

“Isabela will be staying in Kirkwall,” Vicky gave the Arishok a pleasant smile, as he merely nodded.

“That business has been laid to rest many years now, it would be of no point to make an issue of it now.” 

“Wonderful, glad we are all on the same page and I don’t have to start a war with the Qun after I destroy another boat, this time with the Arishok on it.” Cailan grinned at his Qunari counterpart who ignored her completely.

“Perhaps we don’t talk about killing leaders in front of everyone dear?” she turned the attention back to her husband.

“I said I slipped and fell.” the look she got was “I believe that as much as I believe the moon is made of cheese”.

“We will be departing at daybreak.” the Arishok intervened before the couple could restart the not so playful bickering.

“Then we send word through to Haven, let them know of a slight detour that might take… well, a while, the Free Marches is quite big by the looks of it, and besides the unrest that we aren’t going to go for to stop an army attacking Kirkwall, there will be rifts no doubt all over, and well think of how many druffalo we will need to return. Probably should let them know we’re on our way too, Kirkwall that is, although if you think it would help a friendly “by the way” note to the Vaels might not go amiss…” Harding nodded, and the camp broke up to prepare for the next leg of this jaunt around what had turned into Thedas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With this chapter I'm back on track, until I write another chapter, I've had to ammend the chapter count as well, because well, I suck. So yeah. But if I don't spend another week writing one chapter and then spew out a second in quick succession, we are on track for Part 1 to be up completely by the end of Sept, which I think is pretty impressive considering. 
> 
> Also I am aware I am literally only talking to myself at this point, but I have good conversations with myself so... ya.


	17. Is it an Invasion if you've been invited?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirkwall ho! Some more chatting, and more plotting.

As soon as day broke, the Royal Vessel departed first, taking with them the stray Wardens, but not Connor as had been expected, which had resulted in a very fast but heated argument between Alistair and Connor, where Connor had threatened to go and find darkspawn as soon as he was left alone for more than a moment if it meant he didn’t need to go back to living in Redcliffe. Not helped by Dorian adding helpfully that he had already lost the argument when he’d agreed with it back in Redcliffe.

Alistair and Dorian were then kept at separate ends of the larger and less ornate ship, with Connor not helping by looking utterly smug once more at having gotten his own way. Cailan had refrained from getting involved, having chosen to have a serious and in-depth discussion with his Captain instead, and Anora was busy spending time with her father to worry about interfering in the situation with them both claiming that Alistair had it well in hand. 

It took less time than was expected to disembark, with the many hands they had access to being organised adeptly by Isabela in a fit of pique at being called out by Fenris for some perceived fault that neither would share with the rest of them.

The voyage over was relatively quiet, even with the inflated numbers of the Chargers, the usual group and the Qunari crew. Even the couple had taken a back seat with their usual shenanigans out of respect for the situation they were going into, or because they were still sniping at each other. Vicky had taken to knitting, her needles clacking away incessantly as hats grew and were then tossed to whomever caught them, whilst Lu sat well away from her, scribbling down rules whilst quietly conversing with Solas.

They were greeted at the docks by the younger Hawke and an armed guard, before being whisked through the city and up to the Keep to be filled in on the current events.

“The Elder Vaels are on route with a large army, they are under the understanding that the devastation caused in our fair city is down purely to the Circle, and has nothing whatsoever to do with Meredith Stannards complete and utter lunacy. They should arrive within the week, it is only due to Sebastian that we were alerted to this, as he was able to send word out before being “cloistered” into the Chantry back in Starkhaven to undertake penance at his part in the chaos.” Carver jumped straight to it, waiting only long enough for the door to close behind them before starting, not introducing any of the other people already waiting.

“Do we need to go rescue him?” there was a strained look from Hawke as Issy asked the question, with Carver shaking his head.

“We believe that at present Sebastian is “safe” within the Chantry, we still have some contacts within the Chantry there, and they have agreed to alert us to any change in circumstance, however at the risk of sounding incredulous, perhaps we stop them from tearing apart Kirkwall before we mount a counterattack?” Issy gave Hawke the younger a careless shrug.

“It’d only take a couple of us…”

“Can someone explain exactly what happened? For those of us who have no memories and may not have been listening when there may have been discussions about it on board.” There was a moment of silence as Lu shot his wife a “really?” look. 

“The official version is that Meredith Stannard had a bad batch of lyrium, went on a massive rampage that started off in the Chantry, killing the Grand Cleric, several Nobles, before going on a rampage through the Gallows before being defeated with the other Templars who also had some of the bad lyrium. In the rampage, there were several large fires including one that set off an explosion that took out part of low town, and several fires that tore through the warehouses down by the docks.” there was an uncomfortable silence as Carver spoke with a very neutral tone.

“So that’s the official version, what's the actual version, and why are the Vael’s accusing Kirkwall of events happening completely differently?” Cullen moved to stand next to Carver with a blank face.

“After the events back in Ferelden, I was sent to Kirkwall in part to “recover” but also to pay attention to what was happening in the Gallows, I was given a promotion, rumours of nobility in my background, and it had been let slip in several “informal” letters of my connection to the Crown Prince.” he paused as Alistair grimaced. “There were two of us sent to investigate rumours,” at this Anders moved forward.

“Something that at first had been mentioned in letters back before I was a Warden, your desire for me not to be sent to Kirkwall, either of us to be sent to Kirkwall as a reason why Duncan should recruit both of us, was the first indication that perhaps something was rotten. Not that we knew it was you then, but it was the first time that the Wardens had been made aware of an issue, and the Crown.” Alistair was looking at Duncan who was standing stoically by Anders.

“When I was rescued back at the tower by you both, you left strict instructions not to send me to Kirkwall,” Cullen continued on. “Which was enough for Greagoir to speak with Irving about the rumours they had heard coming out of the Gallows, which was then shared with Alistair, who in turn shared it with his brother and shared the warnings that the Wardens had received. Then to hammer the point in, Brosca was told by a strange elf - who we believe was you yet again, telling her she wasn’t to let Anders and by Anders she just said, “anyone who was a mage and spirited” go to Kirkwall, after she’d tried to warn her about the perils of spirits and none spirits joining.” 

“So, we tell you three times, not to go somewhere, and so you all get together and think, well I know what's a good idea, that thing we’ve been told not to do, we’ll just do it anyway…” she stuck her tongue in between her teeth, looking at Lu with the “what the fuck” expression with him returning it with a “play nicely” look.

“If we hadn’t had it hammered in so much, we would never have come up with a plan” she looked at Alistair who was trying to defend himself.

“I’m sure it was a cunning plan” Lu shook his head at her.

“We decided that the Wardens needed someone to keep an eye on the Deep Roads access, and Anders wanted to escape from the love triangle he’d found himself in-” there was a betrayed look from Anders at that, “he would have immunity as a Warden, and he would have the backing of the Ferelden nobility if needed, though we had that as a back up plan, if the Warden thing didn’t work out in time.” She gave Alistair a look, “Well, with Anders special skill set, it would be better for him to do the most amount of work in Darktown, where he could hear the most, but the nobility angle wouldn’t work as well, it would offer protection from the Templars but not endear him to the Darktown residents.”

“I was sent to the Gallows, with my promotion, as a way of investigating if the rumours were true, and if they were trying to well, see how far the rot went and help keep the Mages as safe as we could until we could deal with the problem.” she turned her attention to Cullen.

“You were one person, sorry, there were two of you, one of whom was in Darktown, which I am guessing isn’t just underneath the Gallows. Exactly what were you supposed to do?”

“Dear, if you wind your neck in, I think they may tell you.” She gave Lu a look before shutting her mouth.

“We reported back everything, with reports going to the Chantry where they were ignored. We were able to stop a lot of the harassment at source, either by using Hawke” he gave Hawke an apologetic look, “to deal with the elements that needed to be dealt with swiftly where waiting for official input would have led to further injustices.”

“What he’s trying to say is they used us to kill Templars who were abusing their position but were in too chummy with Meredith, so if they happened to be out of the city and we knew about it, then they didn’t return.” Hawke half grimaced, looking at Anders who had started to whisper into Duncan’s ear.

“Whilst nothing happened that couldn’t have been attributed to being overly cautious when I first arrived, it was far stricter than Kinloch, even after the incident. I was able to stop certain things from happening, but still the rate of tranquillisation was far higher than standard, even if you accounted for the influx of unrest thanks to the Blight.” Anders nodded at him. “It was something that had been brought to the attention of the Chantry and the Grand Cleric as something to be concerned about, however it was dismissed as something that was merely to be expected.” there was a sharp indrawn breath from Solas.

“Enchanter Orsino was able to keep us apprised of potential candidates, with the ones most at risk that we were able to help, relocated due to “overcrowding” or requests from other circles for certain expertise. We had to be careful, however, too often and it would become obvious. Some we just straight out smuggled out.” he ran a hand over his face.

“Kirkwall at the time was going through massive pressures, we had an influx of refugees, a helpful surprise invasion of the Qunari” Issy took a bow, before being pushed further away from The Iron Bull, who shrugged. “The guard for a few years was next to useless, suffering from corruption, the Templars and by the Templars, we mean Meredith, had an iron hold on the Viscount, and the Chantry was willfully blind.”

“So how does this lead to Meredith going off the rails and taking out the Grand Cleric?” Lu gave her a look, but this time with a hint of curiosity as well.

“So, as neither of you have read the Tale yet, because you would know this part, when Hawke here went off on a jolly expedition down to the Deep Roads with Varric, Anders and Bethany, they came across a red lyrium statue,” 

“And the red stuff is bad, hence why we keep smashing it.”

“Yes, so the statue gets stolen, they get locked down in the deep roads, Bethany gets infected and ends up joining the Wardens who were waiting for Anders having been concerned by his last message sent through in regards to expeditions into the Deep Roads, and other Warden things.” Issy winked at Duncan who gave her a less than impressed look.

“My foolish brother then sells the statue to Meredith, who gets it made into a sword which she then from what Curly said, was closer to than a lover, and that’s an image that lingers…” 

“So the red lyrium drives her insane?” Cullen picked up the train again as Vicky asked the question.

“The overly cautious line became any excuse over the slightest infraction, the Templars that were for her way of thinking, or worse, ran unchecked, my abilities to control the problems grew weaker, even with the help from Hawke and Anders. Even with all the evidence we collected, the Chantry refused to listen, we did, however, manage to get the attention of the Seekers, thanks to pressure from Greagoir and the Crown, after the “Tranquil Solution” which had been suggested and almost accepted, where they would tranquilise all of the mages” he took a deep breath, and Anders carried on.

“We were able to gather enough evidence that the Gallows wasn’t working for the apprentices, so that all of the youngest were shipped off to other Circles, after the Harrowing only produced Tranquil Mages. Even Elthina was unable to argue with the appalling success rate when shown figures from other circles. It wasn’t enough for her to step in to replace Meredith however, who had grasped more power as the previous Viscount was assassinated on his way back from a meeting with Meredith.”

“Now, officially he stumbled and fell.” Fenris snorted at Varric’s description of his death.

“Helped by several thrusts of a sword that left red fragments in the wounds.”

“The Grand Cleric wouldn’t allow us to force her to hand over her weapon for inspection, our hands were tied Fenris,” a pregnant Aveline walked in, with a hovering male standing behind her.

“Aveline, Wesley, Carver stand up and let her sit down,” Carver shot his older brother a look, before offering his chair to the Guard Captain who growled back.

“Hawke, others. If we had been able to touch Meredith we would have, but with the Grand Cleric not listening to a thing anyone said, and no Viscount, we did our best.”

“Greagoir and Irving appealed to the Crown to get all Ferelden mages sent back to Ferelden, and sent out missives urging other nations to request the same, but again it was ignored by the Grand Cleric, until Seeker Cassandra arrived to investigate. Sadly as she arrived, Meredith decided that she wasn’t listening to anyone anymore, as she was called to the Chantry for a meeting where they would discuss the Seeker’s presence, she instead killed as many as she could, and her and her band of faithful Templars went on a rampage killing everyone who crossed their path, regardless of who they were.” Cullen picked it back up, as Fenris was murmuring apologies to the pregnant woman.

“It was… a dire time to be in Kirkwall, many people didn’t understand what was happening, only that the Templars were tearing through the town killing indiscriminately, buildings were destroyed, looting happened, and then they returned to the Gallows, it was bloody and brutal, we were trying to protect the innocent, holding out for reinforcements whilst they tried to burn us out.” Alistair clapped his hand on Cullens shoulder, whilst Rylen was looking pensively.

“We won, but it was hard-fought, and she had done much damage to not just Kirkwall. Cassandra was hard-pressed not to believe our version of events, she had access to all of the evidence we had been keeping, and the large stacks of reports that were sat in a locked room in the Chantry building, that all helped show that this was not something that was unexpected.”

“So how does this turn into an exalted march?” 

“The reason for the “official version” is that afterwards, there were rumblings that the long-standing madness was merely a fabrication from Ferelden to destabilise the Free Marches, but there was no denying who had killed the Grand Cleric. So instead of Meredith and the Templars abusing their positions and then went mad, it was just that they had a bad batch of lyrium and that drove them mad. Everything that had happened before was ignored as unimportant or worse lies.” Carver gave the couple a mocking smile.

“But Meredith still killed them, so how does that turn into the Circle did it?” Lu asked this time, with Alistair shrugging.

“There were witnesses to the event, whilst she did her best to slaughter everyone, some managed to escape to safety and raise the alarm,” Aveline spoke up, with Wesley rubbing her back as she shifted on the spot.

“From what Sebastian was able to send through, they and by this I mean the Vaels, believe that because it was lyrium that sent Meredith crazy, then it had to be the Mages at fault.” there was an explosion of noise, as he held his hands up, before banging on the table to get them to stop talking.

“Sorry, can you explain that again?” Vicky asked with some hesitation.

“Mages use lyrium, so the mages must have done this to her as a way of discrediting her so they could have power.” 

“That makes as much sense as blaming fish for drowning sailors.” Carver nodded at this, before taking a moment to look over the letter.

“There are many that believed that a Knight Commander would never have done that to the Chantry, and that if there had been any doubts the Chantry would have intervened.” Carver held his hands up cutting through the noise. “They are ignoring the many attempts to do so, because to admit to that, then it would admit to a severe lapse in judgment from the Chantry.”

“None of the attempts worked, if she hadn’t have attacked the Chantry, and Cassandra had been unable to do anything, something else would have had to have happened, perhaps it would have been the Mages, or perhaps…” Anders looked at Alistair who was looking very uncomfortable.

“Right, so, it’s looking pretty clear the Chantry screwed the mabari with this one, it sounds like you all did what you could and she was allowed to run riot due solely to the Grand Cleric?” Vicky gave them all a questioning look, with those who had been directly involved looking highly guilty.

“We did consider, several times, one other option, especially after the Viscount's accident…” Anders gave Cullen a questioning look before blanching.

“She was too well protected however by the time we got to that decision, and you were under strict instructions not to do anything that would get yourself killed.” Cullen shrugged even as Alistair’s fingers turned white on his shoulder.

“We discounted it because it would turn her into a martyr,” Carver interjected as Alistair went to speak.

“I failed in my duties,” Cullen looked straight ahead as he spoke, with Anders throwing a book at him, which hit Alistair instead.

“If you did, so did I,”

“Right, before we turn into a self-flagellation circle, it seems like it was the Chantry that failed”

“The pair of you, in fact, everyone who was here did more than was safe too,” Duncan spoke up seriously, “We asked you to do something that we believed to be simple and safe, it turned into something that was neither. You acted beyond reproach, your actions saved the lives of many people not just mages.”

“You must think us horrible people,” Cullen span round to look at Lu, who shook his head.

“Counter question, do you blame us?” he pointed at his wife, cocking his head whilst he posed the question gently.

“You weren’t here, how could we?” Vicky scoffed at this, with Lu giving her a look, forcing her to stifle it.

“But according to Alistair, according to many of you we were at one point, we saved Hawkes mother by all accounts, and interfered with the Arishok thing. You claim we turn up and solve problems, and so surely then it was our responsibility to turn up for the Meredith issue and solve that. So as we didn’t, even when we were there for some of it, do you blame us? Do you blame Vicky for not bringing us here when you needed us?” she bit back a scoff again at the latter, starting to pick at the skin at the side of her thumb, even as Adaar was busy trying to smack her hands away.

“No” followed by a brief intake of breath from Cullen, and a snort from the female dwarf who rolled her eyes, “We didn’t know that's what you did then,” Lu shot his wife a warning glance as she brought her finger to her mouth and started nibbling on the skin as a way of keeping her mouth shut.

“But knowing what you now know, would you blame us? Blame her for not coming to save you all?” his tone remained calm, and the way she had moved to gnawing as he spoke, did little to distil the tension that was presently brewing in the room.

“It might not even be true though! It’s not like you stopped the Blight from occurring in the first place.” there was a visible wince from Alistair at Connor’s words, which sent the young mage into shrinking puddle as he was pushed out of the room, with most of the others following. Only the original Kirkwallers, the Couple and Alistair who had refused to leave even as he’d been pulled at by Duncan, remained in the room, with the small female smiling sweetly at her husband.

“He isn’t wrong,” she arched a brow at her husband, before tearing away at a bit of skin, a small droplet of blood pooling on the surface as he sighed, “Well, for Gods we aren’t exactly the most reliable.”

“Like you said, we aren’t gods, we are merely visitors, meddling ones at that, who come in, tell you that they don’t like the toilet paper, leave the house in a mess and fuck off well after the shine has worn off.” There was a shuffling as Aveline settled into Carvers old seat, breaking the staring contest between the Couple.

“I don’t blame you.” Alistair made it sound almost like a question, which was met with a small chuff of laughter from the large male, and a snicker from his wife.

“Eh, what’s done is done right, regardless of who gets to be blamed, the bigger problem is the army heading this way to wipe us all out, because besides what my lovely husband is spreading round to all who will listen, I am actually a mage.” He gave her a look, and she waved her hands at him in an intricate manner, which had him snickering as she winked.

“So, you said there was stacks of reports that the Grand Cleric kept? On reports of Meredith’s descent into insanity?” He chose to ignore his wife who had returned to chewing on her finger instead.

“It was all submitted to the Divine, and Seeker Pentaghast, but we have copies, and there are still witnesses, impartial ones at that” Aveline spoke up.

“Tranquil you mean?” 

“And Templars,” she replied to Lu’s question.

“Can they be trusted? I mean, will the Vael’s trust their accounts if they are from Kirkwall.” There was a pause as he posed the question.

“The ones who supported Meredith were the first to fall in the madness of it all, but there are still some who were not, and I hate to use this phrase, for mages, but were against the insanity of Meredith’s final outburst. I believe that these will be believed, although perhaps not reliable, to tell the truth, if they are offered something tempting.” there was a pause after Cullen spoke, with Carver looking grim.

“It has been part of the reason why there is an “official” version of events, some of the Templars discounted some of the events that took place before that day, and with the evidence coming primarily from Ferelden interference…” Carver sank his head into his hands as Aveline muttered something about politics.

“So we have something then, we have evidence, witnesses, if they want we can get the Seeker over. However, there is still the matter of what we will do once they arrive…” Alistair looked worriedly as Lu trailed off, staring at his wife who had a dangerous look on her face.

“Exalted March, so will it be a full-on attack? Will they just attack the mages, or will they take everyone out who they believe to be at fault?” 

“We believe, thanks once more to Sebastian, that they plan on blackmailing us.” Carver let out a frustrated noise, before looking at his brother.

“With what? She’s dead, not like they’d like it if we were able to get her back and parade her in front of them. Maybe we should take them to see her in her full glory with Xenon, that’ll be good for a laugh. Other than that, what else can we do?”

“They want Anders.” Anders slumped, whilst Alistair stared at Carver in disbelief.

“Well they can’t have Anders, he’s ours, and he didn’t do anything, in fact he helped.” Cullen nodded as Alistair spoke.

“They can have me then, if that's what it takes to save the city,” Cullen lobbed the book back at his co-conspirator as Vicky leaned forward.

“Anders, that’s about as daft as us screwing them into submission, why on earth would we hand you over? As a first option. Carver, why do they even want him?”

“They believe it was Anders who slew the Grand Cleric.” this time he let the explosion of noise continue, as Anders slumped forward onto the table, with Hawke rubbing his back gently.

“We were nowhere near, or not near the Chantry when she started it, none of us were there, we were only just getting back from dealing with the blasted Corypheus business as we saw the Templars rampaging through Hightown.” Carver frowned at his brother.

“I know that, I was there, it didn’t stop the rumours though did it, the devoutly anti mage movement claiming that it had nothing at all to do with the former Knight Commander, and only to do with the Mage Underground, which as Anders wrote the manifesto and was very vocal about the whole thing, painted a massive target on his back.” Hawke was now scowling at his brother.

“So he gets blamed as the ring leader, and you just want to hand him over?”

“That’s not fair, I never said we were handing anyone over Garrett, all I said was that was what they seem to want, I don’t agree with it, and we aren’t planning on giving in, this is our city, we’ve been through too much shit to just roll over to a bunch of pricks from Starkhaven now.”

“There is nothing right or fair about what happened here, Hawke” Anders moved between the two spoiling brothers.

“It still doesn’t mean we are just handing you over to them, they can have you over my dead body.” 

“Garrett, no one is saying that we are handing Anders over, calm down, your boy toy isn’t going anywhere. What we need to do is come up with a solution to the problem.” Aveline snarled at him, her stomach rippling more frequently as the voices began to rise.

“How goes the Inquisitions standing out in the Free Marches?” Lu interjected, cutting through before the angrier of the two angry women smacked someone.

“It is believed to be a Ferelden affair, but the news is positive, even with the rumours that you operate under the purview of the Crown.” there was a pause as Carver considered his words, “Which may or may not stand against us, if it is seen that once again Ferelden is interfering in Free Marches politics.”

“We can live with that for the time being, however, if we start closing rifts this end, and help out here, think we can turn that impression around?” she gave her husband a look, with him returning it with a “trust me” gaze.

“Possibly, there were rumours at first that the Inquisition was merely a grab at power by the left and right hand, however as the Inquisition hasn’t actually gained any visible power of its own since the formation, that has stood it in good stead.”

“Well, thanks to whatever for small mercies on that front, seems we managed to not fuck up one thing along the way, I mean yes the Chantry hates us, we seem to have fucked over everyone and we can’t even remember, but we have made the Inquisition more likeable. It’s starting to feel like Tony B all over again…” She gave her husband a wicked grin, rocking back to chew on her finger again.

“I have a plan,” he gave her a look, “I have a very cunning plan, so cunning in fact you could pin a tail on it and it would be called a weasel” he groaned as she grinned, “no but in all honesty, I suggest what we do is, we ride out to meet them, the Chargers, not the Kirkwallers - no offence, it’ll just upset matters, although maybe Varric as a Deshyr for the Merchants if he insists on coming, definitely not Alistair - because if I believe Viscount Carver here, the whole aim is to not appear to be Ferelden, and nothing screams Ferelden like Alistair.” He gave her a torn look, before shrugging. “The others might be ok though, maybe not the mages though, I’m not sure Dorian will be discreet, actually no Wardens either.”

“Right, so we have a cunning plan to ride out, and then what dear?” Lu asked his wife with a gleam in his eye as she grinned back.

“Well we have a nice cosy chat,” she paused, sticking her finger back in her mouth as she waited for Lu’s reaction, pouting as he merely waited. “Alright, so request if you haven’t got them already, sworn statements from the Left and Right Hands as to what they believed to have happened here.” Carver nodded at her.

“So, cosy chat, what do you think the outcome of it all will be?” Lu gave her a suspicious look as she shrugged.

“Well, with any luck I won’t have slaughtered most of the ruling house of Vael?” She was looking highly pleased with herself, as he let out a snort of laughter.

“Sebastian is in line if anything should happen….” There was a pause as Carver spoke, with the pair of them starting to let out little giggle snorts.

“I’m not sure how us taking out part of Starkhavens ruling class will give us much of anything but notoriety with the rest of the land, however,” Cullen gave the two of them warning looks as Vicky worked herself into helpless giggles.

“Lu, they want us to play at being assassins!”

“Pretty sure Cullen is suggesting that we don’t do that, just a second ago in fact.”

“Also we could just use a crow to do that,” Issy piped up, with Carver making a small note, that Aveline shook her head at as she read.

“Surely that would look just as suspicious?” Alistair patted his former fellow recruit on the back as Cullen cut across more talk of assassination attempts.

“You would think, there is merit in the idea though, that we do as Vicky suggested, go and meet with them, have a “cosy chat” and see what can be resolved before they hit the city limits, where the risk will go up dramatically.” A look passed between Varric and Isabela as Carver spoke.

“Are you going to share with the class?” Issy smiled sweetly at the male of the pair.

“Well, how likely is it going to be that you can take out a whole army by yourselves?” She leant back after asking the question, leaving the pair to consider for a moment.

“And the suggestion is what? Trojan Horse the situation up?” Lu was the only one who didn’t look blankly at Vicky’s remark. “We give them a gift, and inside the gift we have the Chargers and take them out from the inside. The gift would be a huge wooden horse.” The best word to describe the expressions on their faces would be bewilderment.

“Sounds a bit complicated.” Varric, however, was writing it down, with Lu whispering in his ear that he would explain fully later.

“Hey it worked, hence why there is a name for it” she gave them a smug grin.

“I think the idea that you just take out the leaders isn’t a bad one, however. I’m not sure how attached the army would be to taking out the city without the input of the brothers Vael.” Carver, scribbled something else down, that had Aveline looking at him with suspicion before shrugging.

“I trust in my dear wife enough that no matter what happens, we won’t be in too much danger.” she blew him a kiss at that.

“And the rest of us?” Varric piped up, before paling as he caught sight of the paper that both Carver and Aveline were using to communicate with.

“Do you really think that we would leave you all in a perilous position. In all honesty, and I’m not just saying this because I’ve been saying it from the very first, I would rather just go with the two of us, however, I understand that as we don’t fully understand the situation, and then having employed the Chargers it seems a bit daft, ok a lot daft not to use them should it come down to it.” Alistair gave her a dubious look.

“And what happens if it all goes terribly wrong?”

“Then it gets fixed” she held her hands up as Alistair stared in disbelief. “Look, we came here to stop the city being destroyed by zealots, do you really think that we wouldn’t do that? Just go oh no, well it looks a bit dodgy, let’s go home.”

“And if you can’t?” Lu settled back having stolen Varric’s implements and was busy sketching out what looked like a giant wooden horse, leaving the mother and son to argue it out.

“We will be able to, don’t you worry.” she pulled the finger out of her mouth to speak, before inspecting it and moving onto another to chew at.

“You were the one who said not that long ago, that you aren’t gods.” Alistair was now the one to receive a comforting hand on his shoulder as he’d started to work himself up into a tizzy.

“Has any of what we have done so far seemed difficult?” She grinned over at Lu who was ignoring them, as he was writing little notes next to the sketch, with Varric torn between trying to listen to the dispute and engaging with the information provided.

“So what, meddling visitors who just don’t get hurt?” the other Kirkwallers had decided to engage in their own private conversations, with Cullen holding onto Alistair.

“Alistair, be realistic here, we have been travelling with way more people than we have needed so far, and no, we aren’t gods, although I have been told that sometimes having sex with us is a divine experience” Lu snorted at that, and she started to shake with silent giggles, “But really, has anything hurt either of us so far?”

“You still have the mark of a blade against your neck!” he glared at her, as her fingers idly started scratching at the scab again, as Anders sighed, it had taken time to get her to stop picking at it, even as they had reiterated that it would scar if she didn’t leave it alone.

“Alright, so beyond slipping” there was another snort from her husband at that, “ has anything beyond slipping…” she wavered for a moment, considering her next words. “In fairness, I did press my neck into a blade,” she moved back from the table, out of reach as her husband scowled, muttering under his breath.

“Why on this godforsaken earth would you deliberately press your neck against a sword, and press up against it enough to make you bleed?” Alistair stared in horror at his adopted mother who was looking unrepentant, “And then lie about it?”

“It was something we needed to do at the time, well, I say needed, but it put the point across, he needed to have the option of doing what he wanted to do all that time ago.” her hands went to her hips for a moment, before dropping and chewing on her finger again, her eyes now firmly on her scowling husband.

“You pressed your head against Cailan’s sword?” Lu broke the quill in his hand, before calmly putting his hands flat on the table.

“Look, it was something he needed to get out of his system, like the way he called it hate sex.” Lu’s talons gouged the wooden top.

“And if he had followed through, what with you offering your neck up for his blade?” she was impressed with the way his voice hadn’t risen once, even as the wood was splintering under his hands.

“Never going to happen, love, he was more likely to spear me with his other sword… again.” her eyebrows waggled, as he slowly counted to ten.

“Sometimes, my love, you are profoundly stupid.” 

“I like to think of myself as blessed in my amazing ability to trust correctly in people” she could hear him counting to ten again under his breath as the others had all fallen silent, watching with morbid fascination.

“What if you had stumbled?”

“Then we would have woken up.” she couldn’t help the matter of fact tone, even as she acknowledged how infuriating he found it.

“And what do you suppose would have happened to the rest of them? I mean, one no more rift closing mark, that would be pretty bad. Cailan would have had to explain to his brother how he killed you, I’m sure that would have gone over well. And Charter? Charter was there, she was pretty upset by the whole ordeal, although she wouldn’t share what had happened.” she had the wherewithal to look ashamed at his comments.

“He wouldn’t have done it,” she winced at the faint whine in her voice.

“You didn’t know for definite. Sometimes love, I think you have a death wish.” 

“Only sometimes?” muttered Varric, as Vicky was giving Lu her best puppy dog eyes.

“You’ll be glad to know Garrett, that when Mother received word that you were heading back to Ferelden on holiday…” Carver gave his brother despairing look taking the opportunity to upset his brother. “You realise that she isn’t a child, there are rumours of a massive hole in the sky, right where Varric has been sending us letters from, and then you just up and leave, with everyone, that she worked it out.” Hawke had the grace to look sheepish as Fenris glared at him.

“I was hardly going to write to her and tell her we were going off to potentially get killed,” Anders gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“Well anyway, as she discovered you were leaving me all alone, those are her words that is, that she would come and visit so I wouldn’t be lonely…” he gave Fenris a long look, who met his gaze for a breath, before staring at the wooden table instead. “And is refusing to return to our new Stepfather” Hawke let out a curse.

“Yes well, that’s how I feel too, he, however, keeps offering to buy me toys, to make up for missing all of the holidays, and not being able to join us here.” He paused, before looking at the note he had been writing with Aveline. “You can tell mother to leave, I’ve moved in with Donnic.”

There was the sound of a foot hitting wood, and a pained grunt from Varric as Issy punched him in the back as he went to speak, with Fenris glaring hard at Carver.

“Does this mean she’s staying at the house, or here in the Keep?” Carver looked at his brother with a malicious grin. “She likes to alternate, so that nowhere goes too dusty. You left the house in a mess apparently, she wasn’t best pleased…”

“Wonderful…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the next chapter is a doozy. Just saying. You'll love it. So much.
> 
> Also sadly they decided there wasn't the budget for a Trojan Horse, Varric and Lu totted it up and decided it was too expensive in the timescale they had.


	18. A Simple Solution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Does what it says on the tin.

In the end, the solution to their problems was solved relatively simply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Well... explanation time and yes I am aware that the notes are three times longer than the chapter. In my draft, it comes to this chapter, and well, I literally put this, and then skipped the whole bit and just went with an "in the end they all went back to Haven" because I couldn't be bothered to work out what the plan was.
> 
> I get to writing the plan, and I hate past Vicky with a vengeance, past Vicky totally screwed future Vicky over. So I bitch about it in the MCIT discord server (it's a brilliant server) and paste what the plan is. I then get advised that I should stick with it. So here it is, thanks to the advice of no less than 5 different people.
> 
> I could be meaner and then say that this is where the story ends, but, well, I am keeping to my having 3 chapters ahead, so it isn't. I am very tempted to wait a week before adding the next chapter though.


	19. The Actual Solution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Free Marches, with an actual solution to the very simple plan they came up with, sadly without the use of a Trojan Horse - they decided it would be too expensive. Instead some low-level intimidation.

While the first words spoken to Varric to describe what had happened, had been “Well we are never going to discuss how that one was solved” and then proceeded not to speak about it for two days whilst they recovered. Eventually it was one of the Chargers who spilt the beans.

They’d set out, and by they, it had been the Couple, the Chargers, Cullen, Rylen, several Tranquil and a small group of Nobles who had been present at the beheading and the subsequent rampage of Meredith, riding out to greet the welcoming committee from the Brothers Vael. 

There was a small scuffle as they were leaving, as hats were redistributed, with the knitted ones being stolen from those remaining to place on Chargers heads, with Krem discussing with Vicky different patterns and chatting merrily, with Lu trying to wrangle Alistair back into the city limits whilst he shouted for help from his wife.

As they had eventually neared the army which had gained ground a lot faster than originally had been believed they would, they were greeted by two large rifts spewing out Pride, Despair and Hunger demons that were busy tearing their way through the large well-armed army. A retreat had been called as the smallish Kirkwall contingent neared, the rifts having reacted to their presence by spitting out demons with greater intensity that made any headway without the aid of the anchors, near to impossible.

The Couple and company took their sweet time to set up a nice area, with blankets being spread and food lain out, before the couple split up, the rest of them hanging back to start eating as had been decided on the way out. Lu went first, taking on a rift by himself, cutting through the demons without raising a sweat, and made the smallest of gesture to close the rift permanently, before stretching, his joints cracking loudly before throwing his hammer back to where Bull had been waiting.

Vicky then stepped up, looking tiny in comparison to the largest rift, doing an idle dance through the threats whilst singing softly to herself, throwing in some twirls and spins that had her tunic flicking up enough that it left little to the imagination. She twirled, grasping at a Pride demon, dragging it into some dance steps before pulling it down onto her favourite blue crystal, then clicking her fingers and the largest rift snapped closed with an eerie silence. And with that, the negotiations began.

They decided that perhaps it would be better for all involved if the Vael brothers agreed that perhaps the message that they had received in Starkhaven as to what had happened in Kirkwall was wrong. Vicky had hummed a soft gentle waltz whilst Cullen had acted as spokesman, Lu ignoring how his wife and one of the Chargers named Skinner had taken to idly dancing round the figures, appearing next to seemingly random people who just happened to be offering objections, whilst all the while she hummed.

Rylen was promised a key to the city of Starkhaven, as being a noble warrior son who was doing righteous and good work helping to save the world from chaos, he had a coughing fit at this after Vicky had whispered something very quietly into the Eldest Vael’s ear that had him blanching. They also managed to wrangle a promise of aid for rebuilding Kirkwall, after Skinner had started throwing daggers at her fellow tormentor, who caught them blade first, balancing them point first on the tips of her fingers before throwing them back.

Lu had suggested that as a show of good faith, and to make up for the dreadful misunderstanding that the Vaels would agree to sit down at the table with the Viscount and the Merchants guild to discuss trade promises, that would lock down any further nonsense in regards to attacking Kirkwall. 

And in return, the Couple promised to close all the current rifts in the Free Marches, and to return should any more appear after they left as a matter of some priority. They also offered the same service as they had in Ferelden, which had raised some questions from the Starkhaven lot.

“What we do is head out, close the rifts, and help out in general in the area, a farmer has lost a ram, we will track it down and won’t take a reward because it’s our pleasure. You lose a druffalo, we have that down pat too. You want us to repair fences, we can do that. We will also clear out bandits, solve issues with curses, dragons, barbarians, red lyrium, any conflicts to be honest. We range from chickens to high dragons, from a missing scout to taking on an army, no problem too small, no problem too large, we will take on anything. All we do in return is keep the status quo as to the power arrangement, no stealing a base as our own, though we may leave a couple of scouts for messaging purposes. However, solutions may not be to the liking of the people who request them.” If anything there was more bewilderment, before Rylen spoke up following on from Vicky.

“Please feel free to contact the Horsemaster Dennett who now resides in Haven for confirmation regarding the druffalo, and the Teyrn of Highever as to a solution given that he didn’t fully appreciate, but also request he gives you the full details of the problem that was solved.” Lu grinned at the Starkhaven son, who looked serene.

“You have an army, I would suggest you use it wisely from now on, if you let us know where the rifts are that you are aware of, and any problem areas, we will do our best to solve all of it before we return to Haven. Sadly, without Chantry support we are unable to approach the Templars for further support to help closing the breach” Lu shot Vicky a look as she looked overly sad about her statement.

“Perhaps we can aid with this?” She gave them her best wide-eyed, batting lashes with hand clasped to her chest.

“Well, I mean if you could that would be wonderful, they refuse to speak to us claiming us to to be demons. I mean, it is a little speciesist, just because we aren’t human doesn’t make us demons, does it?” There was more coughing fits at the overly concerned tone in her voice, with the eldest Vael reassuring her that they would send word through to Val Royeaux the first chance they got to lend their support to the cause.

With enough satisfactory agreements in place for most of the occupants at the impromptu conclave, the discussion meandered round to the topic of the future of Starkhaven, with some subtle nudges to the release of Sebastian as a rightful heir to the throne after his honorable actions back in the period of unrest in Kirkwall, and his continued good works into helping to divert potential disasters. Whilst nothing had been outright agreed, the murmurings were enough to plant the seeds in the minds of if not the Brothers, the other nobles who had joined them. 

They parted ways with good grace, with the Kirkwall bound group waiting until they were completely assured that the army was well on their way back to Starkhaven, with more knitting, drills, sex and discussions happening to kill time, with the Iron Bull ingratiating himself in with the three Warriors easily, even as Vicky warned them nicely to not forget he was still a spy for the Qun.

The group was greeted by the sight of siege equipment lining the city walls, with Cullen looking faintly envious at the amount of trebuchets all set up facing outwards. Even though it was fairly obvious as to who they were, the mixed company, and the Kirkwall flags being waved, Vicky still made them wave big white canvas sheets with Lu groaning at her, until the gates were opened with Carver riding out to meet them.

“Well, you will be glad to know, we didn’t wipe out an Army, nor did we bring them with us, nor did we kill the leaders although we didn’t do what I had thought we could either.” Lu smacked her on the back as she grinned at Carver.

“Don’t tell Varric, but next time you get word from the snarky scots, they should be asking what aid you need most. I would suggest you work out what you want that you are happy to have hanging over your head. But also they owe you for the whole trying to destroy the city, or blackmail. But it’s up to you, I personally like receipts for things so I know what I owe, it keeps it all nice and easy.”

It took several days to sort out who would be doing what, and arranging maps with locations, aid that would be taken out, in this case, not the same amount as they had to take with them when visiting places that were actually being torn apart in conflict, but still medical aid to small places in everyone’s experience would only be a boon. 

The Grey Wardens disappeared off into the Deep Roads, after the Couple, Duncan and Carver had discussions as to what to do about the Alistair situation, as he was a fairly obvious figure for all who saw him. It was decided that he wouldn’t be allowed to traipse all over the Free Marches with an Inquisition group, and that whilst the Deep Roads had been relatively quiet, it was better to make fully sure. There had been mutterings about “busy work” from the smaller of the couple, before a more serious discussion as to what to do in regards to the Warden situation in general.

It was decided that they wouldn’t seek out the native Warden’s still being unsure as to where loyalties lay, and Carver had assured them no Wardens had been spotted by Kirkwall since Meredith’s rampage. Anders had dug out his maps that had been amended after the last disastrous foray, with Varric adding to the notes with his own sketches, as well as reclaiming the Warden maps that had been handed over to the city for safekeeping, much to Duncan’s dismay as to further lack of protocol when it came to Warden information.

Hawke was to remain in the city, after his mother had collared him trying to sneak to the Hanged Man to stay with Varric, rather than the mansion in Hightown, Hawke claimed that there had been no chance that it wasn’t deliberate that she had been shopping just at that shop without interference from Carver. Carver denied this. Donnic, however, had been loitering in the background watching with a wide grin, Carver moved back to the Keep shortly after, as Leandra moved in fully to the Mansion to look after her eldest son, and to make sure he didn’t disappear off and lie about it again. 

Fenris had been pleased, for all of a minute before volunteering to go with Isabela who was escorting the Arishok back to Par Vollen, for reasons that no one could quite understand, well, there was a reason that had been suspected, after the Arishok had disappeared off with the Couple and Isabela to talk about an important matter and had been attacked again, at the docks, and reappeared looking bruised, battered and as pleased as they all could be. The Iron Bull had not asked any questions, choosing to concentrate on the Rose instead as a way of drowning his sorrows, until they were ready to depart.

Anders had dithered between heading off with the Wardens and reopening the clinic, before choosing to head out with them down into the Deep Roads instead of staying in Kirkwall and having to deal with his mother in law, with Hawke being tasked with training up healers for the clinic in his spare time, which had been said with a slight snicker as Leandra had started to plan out engagements for them to attend until her husband arrived.

Hawke also took it upon himself to help Aveline out by tackling some of the more unsavoury groups that had taken up residence whilst the core Kirkwall group had gone off on merry adventures and the city had been recovering, with those who remained in Kirkwall lending a hand too. Easily wiping out group after group, far faster than Hawke had desired, as he was packed off back nice and early each time back to his mother, having been made to promise on the nights he went out with his friends he wouldn’t end up in the Hanged Man. He claimed he was an adult, but only out of earshot of Leandra, which did little to help his case.

Merrill, Solas and Connor had taken up shop in the Alienage, Connor sulking about not being allowed out to play with the Wardens nor with the Couple, even after he tried to use his trusty “I’ll find a darkspawn” threat, with Vicky offering to put him over her knee if he tried it again. He had quickly backed down, as Alistair had grinned at him, offering to hold his staff.

They were primarily focusing their efforts on the overhaul of the Alienage, whilst spending not an inconsiderable amount of time working alongside those in the Circle on the problems of demons and mythology, with Connor being entrusted into the arms of Solas to keep watch over after there had been rumblings that he might still try something daft. Solas hadn’t looked best pleased at being made to play childminder, however Connor once he was over the sulk, had proven to be less abrasive than Merrill when it came to questioning, and was used to playing scribe for older and more experienced mages.

Dorien had sulked for a moment also, as he was split up from Felix who had gone off to experience the Deep Roads for the first time, well for the first real-time, the previous exploration back in the Hinterlands had not been what either Duncan nor Alistair had referred to as actual Deep Roads. He was also informed that in the current climate, it would be better if he remained in Kirkwall, he’d taken that with a little more grace than he had being separated from Felix. 

Instead he worked alongside Carver and Varric working out trade agreements to the other Free Marches cities as well as sending out the beginnings of a future trade proposal with Tevinter, drawing on his not insignificant influence as an Altus, a very visible hero class Altus who was slowly changing the view of Tevinter alongside Felix, with his good deeds. Varric claimed that his “Tales of the Alti” were being printed and sent into Tevinter to the coffee houses, targeting the university students as Inquisition propaganda. 

The rest, and by rest, The Couple, the smaller initial Inquisition group that comprised of Rylen, Cullen, Charter and Adaar (Adaar, Varric claimed was not in the initial group because she came after he and Solas did, which then sparked off an argument about if Varric was even a member or if he was still technically a prisoner…). The ever-present Puppy, and Amund who had declined the offer from Merrill to stay in her home, Merrill who had decided that the large Avvar male was enough of a deterrent to Connor, who kept giving her things, flowers, rocks, ribbons, books. Amund had paid enough attention to the situation between Solas and Merrill, and had stated he needed to spend some more time with the sky mending couple for the Ladies sake. Solas had scowled at him.

The Chargers and The Iron Bull had been a slight sticking point, with Charter spending several hushed conversations with Lu about Adaar and The Iron Bull, before Vicky had sat the two down, Adaar and the object of her ire that is, and told them that they would just have to work through whatever it was, because she wasn’t going to leave fifty people in Kirkwall being paid to do nothing, when she’d need them to catch chickens and rebuild huts. 

The two didn’t speak to each other for the remainder of the time that they spent in the nation, which was something that had been both impressive and vaguely irritating at times, as they came up with new and interesting ways to ignore each other. 

The Free Marches, however, looked almost the same as it did by the end, as it had when they arrived, the veil was much more stable, this had been said at the closing of every rift, with various intonations having declared it to be the thing to say, even as Solas had only mentioned it a couple of times before giving up due to Charter’s mocking. They had managed to close all rifts that had been reported, and any that they had come across which hadn’t, being located by the Couple with what they referred to as bat powers. 

They did as promised, not interfering with the power balance once, with the small Inquisition horde doing nothing more than propping up what was already there, the only interference being occasional suggestions about adjusting things for efficiency sake. They weren’t called on to make any judgements either, which had pleased them both greatly, and had left the core Inquisition group quietly reassured, having not wanted to be dragged into more political situations that could potentially destroy them before they achieved their goals.

The region had proven to be far more stable than Ferelden, which had come as little surprise to everyone but the Couple, and they had barely come across any Mage/Templar disputes either, with the majority of the Mages having fled for the more Mage friendly territories, and the Templars had been on the whole given refuge in Starkhaven, or had up until that point. It was something that had raised some concern on their return to Kirkwall, with quiet concern that the Vael’s may choose to reject them as a way of showing favour, and so it was suggested through unofficial channels that those who had sought sanctuary may keep it in these troubling times.

It had however taken a good quarter of a year to get to the position where there were no more rifts to be seen, nor reports of such. It had given time for the Vaels to follow through on their offer, sending work through to not only the Chantry but other nations too, of their good deeds and intentions. 

Haven, however, had been slightly less than impressed with their prolonged absence, especially as they had been more than lax whilst out in the field in checking in. Whilst everything that they had been doing had been positive, there was no denying that the fact that it had been half a year since they had been last in Haven, had started to raise questions with the previous “owner” of Haven as to why the Inquisition was there but not the people who were supposed to be closing the breach. It was leaving a power imbalance, with only the continued support from the Crown, and the goodwill of the people staying more rumour-mongering and ill will from the Chantry still based in Haven. 

It was only when a final pleading missive sent directly to Cullen, stating that the situation was becoming as unsettled as Kirkwall had been, that the decision was made that no matter what happened next, they would need to detour back to Haven to regroup and reassess. 

There had been some hesitation as they received word that the Chantry had finally offered out an olive branch, and had sent an invitation to the Couple to visit Val Royeaux to meet with the remaining Clerics to discuss cooperation. The Iron Bull had given some more context to this offer, which had caused Charter to reassess her opinion of the man.

The offer had been pressed for by the Empress, if the reports were to be believed, and not for the hammering of reports of how wonderful they were doing as had been originally believed. The Empress had become concerned in regards to the strength of her surrounding allies in the war against Tevinter and the Qun, becoming uneasy at how quickly they had in the case of Ferelden at the very least, become stronger by allowing the presence of Inquisition forces. There was also the same discourse about how closely they had become intertwined with the Crown, with concerns as to the possible ramifications of this.

There had also been the beginnings of requests for aid with rifts coming out of Antiva and Nevarra, with the offerings of knowledge and power to aid closing the Breach in return. More so than the invitation to Val Royeaux, these had tempted the pair to consider not heading back to Haven, not for the reward but as they were already partway there, it just seemed silly to travel in the wrong direction when they would have to come back at some point.

This was where it became… awkward. They had access to the aid of the Mages, although it would take some time to get them across to Haven, and there was little doubt that between them, the breach would be sealed. At this point, with the amount of Mages they had access to within the travelling horde, coupled with the ease at which the rifts were closing, it was highly probable that they could close it now. 

The awkward part didn’t come from whether they had the power to do so, but more the ramifications of doing so. There had been a suggestion that perhaps shifting a large force of potentially battle-ready mages to the border of Orlais would smack of aggression without having a better relationship with the Empress. This was the official reason that was used as an excuse for not doing so. 

Cullen had raised the issue of the Templars, which had been a question that had puzzled not only Cullen, but also Alistair, Rylen and Cassandra. The Templars had, for the most part, retreated, and by the most part, the main command structure, into Orlais. Ferelden had been abandoned beyond those who had been involved in the conflicts that they had come across in the Hinterlands. Why the retreat had happened however was currently indiscernible, though the rumours that Ferelden was primarily a Mage country lent itself to some musings to the answer. 

Cullen and Rylen, in particular, had shown unease at not approaching them, in some capacity or other, feeling that to not do so would be a mistake. It did put other beans in the favour of Orlais as the next destination after Haven. 

The awkwardness, however, had been the not conversation, the one that had begun to be skirted around whilst they waited for the Wardens to return. 

“Vicky can you explain to The Iron Bull what happens at the end of this,” Lu had passed the buck to his wife who had looked highly hesitant about answering the question.

“We wake up, and leave here, possibly with our deaths in this place, it would seem that we died for definite whilst on our Blight journey, and probably whilst we were Templars though I can’t guarantee that was the case. Neither can I for my nanny period to Alistair, by all accounts I disappeared, possibly to my death or possibly not.” She was given a look as she started to redirect the conversation away.

“Rrright, and how do you know when it ends?” She gave him a look, before shrugging, unwilling to add any more until Lu prodded her.

“In general, they end when we finish whatever it is we are here to do.” This time she turned her back on them, starting to walk away before she was pulled back by her husband and forced to sit on his lap.

“Do you know what that is?” she gave The Iron Bull a glare, but restrained herself from wriggling out of her husband's grip.

“In general we do, or I do. This time not as much, our memories were eaten by a demon,” her interrogator let out a low snarl, as he heard the truth in the words, the accounts matching everything that he had learnt previously.

“Arrgh, demons they shit everything up.” This she nodded at, before cutting across what he was about to say next with a loud yell of greeting to the weary-looking Wardens who had come into view, with Lu whispering something in her ear that had her looking shifty.

They were filled in shortly after they had gotten clean, about their exploits in the Deep Roads, with Felix looking more at ease and confident than he had before going down. Thom who had already had the confidence, looked as relaxed within the group, having forged close bonds with the older Duncan. The same Duncan who had taken pleasure in not only not being harassed every time he changed clothing, but also having time away from the uncomfortable presence of the two former Wardens.

Anders hadn’t stayed around to catch up with the others, only asking where Hawke currently was before disappearing off in his general direction, more prepared to deal with his inlaw than he had months earlier. Absence having in this case at least, made the heart grow fonder. 

The Warden’s had been successful in their endeavours, closing many of the possible problem areas as they could, wiping out several large clumps of darkspawn that had already started to amass, and taking out two Broodmothers, which had given the new Warden’s nightmares, especially when Alistair had shared how they came into being. They had even bumped into some Free Marches Warden’s who were on their final voyage down, and had looked slightly put at to discover interlopers. They had shared news, and offered aid, which had been rejected but not completely, with the group returning back to their own base to pass on the information.

Isabela had arrived back with Fenris and a new ship, that she had managed to “find” that only looked a little worse for wear, but she assured them would take them all comfortably back. For this had been a surprise, that they were returning back with as many as they had left with. For Isabela, she claimed that she would be daft to pass up on debauchery just to stay at sea, although she had only mentioned this after Duncan had signed up to travel back to Haven, choosing to continue to stay with the Inquisition until a time where the Warden intrigue could be successfully resolved. That had been stated whilst sternly looking at the couple who had looked somewhat uncomfortable.

The decorated pair had been surprised to see all of the Kirkwallers sign up for round two, even after Leandra had invited everyone to the Mansion for a grand feast, that had both Hawke and Anders, pledging loudly their debt to the pair, and that they would feel it would stain their names not to see it through to the end. Carver had glared at Hawke at that, especially as Leandra claimed that she would see about moving back to Kirkwall properly until his return. Though the promise of more “toys” from their new stepfather had put a gleam in his eye, with Aveline starting to loudly discuss the need for a blacksmith to kit the Guard out in the best armour, over more siege equipment.

There had been a moment where the Viscount disappeared off with the surly elf, returning hours later looking calmer, before threatening his older brother to ensure Fenris’s safety, to which Leandra had used the comment to make the decision to move back, which in turn had Carver suggesting he might throw in the towel and join them, with Aveline growling until he retracted it.

Rylen had, without anyone actually asking, announced grandly in front of several eligible young women who Leandra had invited to tempt her children into retaining their manners, that he would without a doubt, be returning with them. Even though he had been handed a key to the city of Starkhaven for his services as a noble warrior, which had Cullen giving him snickering glances for the remainder of their time in the city. Charter had started to drop keys in his hands, including one that she claimed was from the Rose, as they missed him greatly.

It had been more of a surprise when Merrill had turned down the opportunity to remain, even with Connor squeaking in excitement as she announced her desire to stay with the group. Solas, on the other hand, had let out a sigh, which had Merrill leaning over to him, promising that he didn’t need to cry about losing touch with her just yet. He had assured her that this hadn’t been the case, but Adaar had told him not to be so out of touch with his emotions.

There was some even better news, beyond that of Solas being tormented further by his arch-nemesis, as Lu had started to call Merrill, who had taken the name with relish. A private message had come through from the Crown to inform Alistair that he was to be an Uncle, and that he wouldn’t have been told sooner but if he did insist on playing in the Deep Roads, Cailan wasn’t to blame. The news remained private for precisely the amount of time it took for Alistair to read it. It sparked off a city-wide celebration, after the rather more private one had spilt out of the Keep, and then out of the Hanged Man, taking the participants several days to recover from the aftermath, especially as they had word that the fertility rites with the Nobles in Crestwood had also taken seed. 

Carver had decided after discussing with several of the more observant members that perhaps it would be better to prepare for a population boom in about nine months time, if not because of the Couples influence, but with the relief at a safe and fast resolution of the previous impending attack. Which had then raised a round of “inspect the females for signs of pregnancy” within the group, whilst the five women declined with various amounts of grace. 

Cassandra had written how in exchange for the rites, people had begun to offer fortunes, but they had so far, abided by the earlier missive that no exploitation should take place. Vicky had insisted that they reiterate it, stating plainly as possible and with some stabbing of parchment, that if any money had been taken so far, that they should be returned forthwith. They did not believe in people paying to get pregnant, or at least not to the Inquisition, as they’d made a game of listing all the expenses, from food, to clothing, to toys and debates about nappies, with Aveline looking more and more irate as Hawke seemed to address every comment directly at her.

Vicky, however, had been happily knitting tiny baby booties, and tiny baby hats, whilst the others had rampaged through the streets in drunken revelry, and by the time they were fighting their way through the crowds to board the “found” ship, had handed the Guard Captain a sack of small baby items, and a kiss upon the bump with slightly teary eyes. 

They were waved off with cheers and favours being lobbed at them, the guard acting as a buffer to stop the crowds from falling into the dubiously murky looking waters. All in all, The Free Marches had been an utter success.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to Rin for the hat suggestion, and Lu to the "just have the plan as something that is never spoken about beyond "we won't be discussing that ever" except I actually worked it out, so you got to see!


	20. To Haven and Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So what happens next, fine people of the Inquisition?

There was no denying that the journey back to Haven was pretty easy, the Crown had done much to stabilise the areas after the boost from the Inquisition troops months earlier. The faces of the travellers that they passed were far different from the drawn worried ones of before, they were often greeted with smiles, if not sometimes wary at the sheer number of the horde they were travelling in, but still welcoming. Especially in the places that they were recognised in, which happened a lot. They had left an impression after all.

They travelled quickly, with nothing holding them back beyond that of detouring off to savour different sex spots, as pointed out by different members of the group. Hissrad, who had turned slowly into Bull throughout the months of being in the presence of the rest of them, had offered numerous suggestions, looking pleased when they were able to give scores out of ten for each of his suggestions. If they were focussing on sex over the potential dramas and intrigue, well, all the better. It was a relatively fun exploration that made the journey less dull, and even the staider chose merely to ignore the howls and cries of good sex, than break the cheerful attitude.

They were received back with a highly mixed reception, for those who had believed in them from the beginning, a raucous welcome back, with much cheering, celebrating and congratulating, for these the group had been missed, whilst still appreciating the news of their good deeds. For those who believed only in what the Chantry had spread, ignored their return beyond noting that they were told to avoid certain areas once more. And then, then there was the middle ground, with those who relied on the Chantry for standing within the community, for their jobs, for their security, but who had also come to watch quietly as news had come in from families outside of Haven, celebrating good news, those who then watched the horde return quietly and gave small smiles whilst not being observed.

To say it was a mixed reception was an understatement. 

Haven had grown, however, even as they were passing through with Vicky and Lu hurried past the entrance to the village proper, through to the Cabin area, with Cullen, Rylen and Charter scurrying off up to the Chantry to report. 

The suggested Greenhouses, which had been given the go-ahead shortly before they had departed, had been built and were merrily growing more exotic herbs and vegetables. One of which having been turned over into a small orchard that had already begun bearing rich red plums, that disappeared quickly into Vicky’s stomach as soon as she had spotted them, or sniffed them out, having caught the scent as soon as she’d arrived in the vicinity, and had followed it all the way to the trees that were laden down. She’d had to be prised away after she’d devoured a tree’s worth and was starting to look very ill with it, Lu had warned them as soon as he’s spotted where she had disappeared off to, not to leave her alone for too long there, but it had been with some fascination to see how many she would eat before giving up. Even as she did give up, she was talking about how they could make pies and jams with the soft fruits, and looking mournfully back, even as she was green around the gills. 

Where previously there had been tents for the soldiers, there were now large wooden barracks packed with cots. Several blocks of family-sized cabins closely packed together around their own small open areas which offered small children's playgrounds, and family eating areas, that all looked fairly robust considering where they were.

There was no slight consternation from Alistair at this, who had queried in a low mutter with Duncan about how long Leliana was planning to remain in Haven, considering the original promises of the Inquisition supposedly being temporary. The structures, some of the structures at least, were looking all but temporary. The two Wardens, however, kept their concerns to themselves, not willing to bring it up around the decorated pair, who had not deliberately been delaying meeting up with the three who had remained. 

The cabin itself was untouched beyond having been dusted, from when they had left which had upset them minutely, it was a structure that should have been used for something rather than as the base for the shower. The weather, however, had stayed pleasant for those who had stayed in the area, so much so that even with the departure of the decorated pair, they had remained, which in turn had pleased Vicky who started to talk animatedly about the benefits of open-air living, with Lu asking her for proof to back her claims as she ignored him merrily. He was unable to deny though, how pretty the sky looked at night, and they both enjoyed being told tales of constellations, comparing them to tales of their own and others.

The first night back at Haven had been spent much like the first few nights had been, a large fire, good simple food that was constantly cooking, singing and snuggling that devolved into comforting touches rather than sexual advances. Bones that melted, leaving a pile of bodies that were languid, content, safe and stopped. It was by all accounts, for this moment at least, good to be back, a reminder of their beginnings, of how it could be and how they wanted to live. Any attempt at bringing up the uncomfortable conversations had been quickly nipped in the bud.

The shower had been heavily abused, as had the sauna, with the ones who hadn’t been here in the beginning given tutorials by Isabela on the joys of both, with others helpfully piping up about the consent and solo aspects, after she had neglected to, waving it off as unimportant in the grand scheme of things.

As the morning fast was being broken, questions were starting to be raised about how long they would remain this time, with the husband and wife duo looking very wary, until the question had been clarified with a “Will you soon be off to Antiva?” They were saved from answering by the return of the three shattered looking missing members, followed by the three who had remained back in Haven as the group had gone off to save the world from stray chickens.

They were given enough time to grab a fast shower and stuff food down their throats before the serious conversations started after the pair had refused to engage until their missing three looked less like death. Even still, it was reasonably abruptly as it began, with neither of the pair looking overly impressed.

“Orlais has requested your presence at Val Royeaux, with the primary intention that you will meet up with the Chantry to discuss the claims of heresy, and how they can be debated and potentially dropped. Your deeds have led this claim to be seen as “difficult” to uphold in some circles. They are also offering the potential for you to meet with the Templars, should the initial conversations prove to be fruitful, with the longer aim that the Templars would then be used to close the breach, which would prove to be a positive for the Chantry.” Cassandra was given a look from Varric, who glared right back at him as Josephine took over the conversation.

“In essence, however, as has been suspected thanks to The Iron Bull, there has been a strong leaning on the Chantry from the Empress to allow us to start work at closing the rifts within Orlesian borders. However, as at present, her position is…” 

“Unstable”

“Thank you, Cassandra, but yes, in essence, her position is unstable. The political situation as a whole is unstable, with Gaspard who was the rightful heir in many eyes to the country, being usurped by Celene in a political coup, now at war with his cousin to try and regain what he believes to be his position.” She was addressing the couple at this point, and mainly Vicky as Lu had been nodding at her description, whilst the small female had been using giant needles to knit up long scarves in minutes. Josephine was granted with a smile.

“This means that while Celene is technically Empress, she currently doesn’t have the political might with which to withstand an attack should Gaspard decide that he would prefer the rifts to tear apart the landscape than let the Inquisition in. As at the moment, we have the reputation of being heavily tied with the Ferelden Crown, and the past insinuation of Celene and Cailan matching up to be wed -” she was interrupted by Vicky turning to stare at Alistair in shock, with the man turning bright red.

“There had been documents that made it seems like that might have been an outcome, Cailan assured everyone that it was never the case, and it had been merely one of the many suggestions to attempt stabilisation of the land, back when the darkspawn threat materialised.” he ducked his head, unwilling to meet her eyes.

“When it seemed like the issue of fertility was on Anora’s head,” Leliana added.

“It was never proven who had the issue though, with the rumours of Cailan’s exploits in his youth prior to their marriage not spawning any bastards, and with the continual very loud rumours that he has many mistresses all over the land, which is untrue.” he glared at Leliana, who shrugged at him.

“No one here is claiming that he isn’t faithful to his wife, she’d castrate him in a heartbeat, and whilst he may be a bit of an idiot by all accounts, he truly adores her, and happily admitted that he isn’t worthy of her.” Vicky leant over, with Lu closing his eyes as the giant needles looked like they were going to impale her as she patted her adopted son's hand, soothing the bright red away from his cheeks.

“However, there is the fact that that particular rumour has been used quite heavily in a smear campaign both for and against Celene. If she were to ask directly for the Inquisition’s aid in closing the rifts, it would only help the efforts to destabilise Orlais more so than it currently is, perhaps if the Royal couple hadn’t been blessed with news of an heir, then perhaps she would have been able to spin it into a positive way.” Alistair glared at the usually diplomatic Josephine for that addendum.

“Leave off Alistair, she was on stating that it could have been, not that anyone isn’t pleased for Anora and King Idiot.” Vicky smacked him lightly on the shoulder with a needle, before continuing to knit.

“Is there anything we can productively do to help the problem, and in so doing, speed up the process of getting access to the Approach?” Lu asked, cutting across the mulish expression on the Crown Prince’s face.

“There would be many things we could do, but it raises the question of if we wish to?” Leliana spoke plainly, whilst there was murmuring from the others, expressing varying amounts of support and concern.

“Whilst we aren’t a Ferelden force, for all the rumours that we are, does it mean that we want a strong Orlesian force? When we already in a battle with forces unknown?” Leliana continued, with the female of the pair giving her a look.

“She’s playing devil’s advocate, as you would if someone had posed the question, and you know she isn’t the only one who is questioning it.” Lu gave his wife a pointed look, with her releasing a sigh and a nod of acknowledgement.

“If we leave Orlais in a mess, does that not leave us all more at risk? If it is Orlais that is the force that has helped keep the Qun at bay” there was a slight raising of eyebrows from Adaar at this, and a blank look on Bull’s face, with Charter, whispering in his ear something that had him looking even more blank than usual. “And Orlais bolstering against encroachment from Tevinter,” Dorian and Felix both looked amused by that assertion, “if the two decide that now is the time to strike, where would that leave the rest of the nations?” Vicky finished before shrugging.

“The Qun are not currently in a position to wage full-scale war with anyone currently beyond Tevinter, thanks to, well you two. Tevinter is currently embroiled with the Qun, and it’s own infighting thanks in part to the Venatori, with the defection of some key members causing unrest within the Magisterium.” Dorian answered for her, with Bull making non-committal noises.

“The point is still valid.” was all he had to say on the matter.

“The question perhaps should be, how would one want Orlais to be stable?” There was a careful walking around with words as Varric idly interjected.

“Assassination?” Cullen gave Leliana a look, with Fenris outright scoffing.

“Are we really sat here, talking about assassinating the Valmonts as if we were discussing morning tea?” 

“Sometimes, sometimes it is just words spoken out loud Fenris,” surprisingly it had been Merrill who had answered him, with Leliana looking on with faint approval.

“Perhaps we should wait until after we have been to visit the Chantry before talking about potentially overhauling an entire nation?” Lu dryly added, tugging his wife into his lap, careful to avoid the needles as she started to cast off.

“Like you waited before interfering with the Free Marches?” there was a slight eyebrow lift from Leliana, as Vicky huffed loudly.

“Look, I could give you a whole heap of bullshit - “ she paused as there was a snicker from the pirate at this, “About any number of things, but the last time we talked about it, me and Lu fell out something rotten, well almost fell out, so, I’m not going to go into it. BUT, but you harpy who is insistent on bringing it up, what we did only helped the cause, and it helped with the whole “Inquisition is Ferelden” cause. Because we operated without any Ferelden input” there was a faint “oi” from Cullen, as Charter rolled her eyes at him.

“It did, it led to both Antiva and Nevarra requesting your presence as you are all aware.” there was a moment as Vicky was sure she heard “and were planning to disappear off to the first chance you got”, from the redhead but shrugged it off as no one else seem to have heard anything. “We are also expecting similar requests from the Anderfels, and we have received information from several Avvar strongholds regarding rifts outside of current borders. It appears they are, pleased, with the spirits and our treatment of the emissaries currently within the Inquisition.” Josephine smiled at Amund and Puppy, who had taken to leaning against a tree directly behind the decorated pair with suspicious eyes.

“You have done exceptionally well in your travels, the deeds you have done not only by closing the rifts, but the work you have done towards stabilising regions, has resonated positively through the lands.” Cassandra managed to not completely patronise, the smile directed at Cullen, however, had caused no small amount of scoffing, even as he pointed towards the others.

“It wasn’t just me, it was everyone. Not a single person here or out there did it alone, we all worked together.” and for that he found himself with a freshly knitted scarf thrown at his face, with the small female already casting on for a new one. 

“Perhaps though, you could work towards building up more power?” Leliana addressed the couple with a bland expression, with Alistair starting to gain a mulish look once more.

“I thought part of the reason why this has been working so well, is the very fact we haven’t been? So that we are not posing as a possible threat, surely if we gain power then we become a potential threat which will only work against us? We should be working, surely, to making the place better, not by making us a power with which we can take over after we oust those who came before us?” Lu had wavered between putting his hand over his wife’s mouth as she began to speak, but chose against it when she hadn’t launched into a familiar rant.

“We want strong nations that will fend off Tevinter and Par Vollen, we don’t want limping beasts that are prime to be ripped apart whilst the others lick their wounds and wait for their inevitable demise. It will just aid more unrest and usher in new villains to tear apart the world while the rest fight over scraps.” She accidentally cracked her husband on the head with a needle, well, perhaps not so accidentally as it forced him to move his hand away from her mouth.

“Speaking as a loyal Ferelden, the idea of having a large military force on our border, being led by an Orlesian, a Nevarran and an Antivan, is not one that would lend us to believe you were working for the benefit of all.” There was a decided bite behind Alistair’s words, “As soon as the Inquisitions visible purpose is done, it would be prudent that it was dismantled before the Inquisition decided to take us apart instead. I would imagine that is how Orlais currently sees the situation as well, a Ferelden force being led by a Nevarran and an Antivan, working with a member of the Court.” He wasn’t quite glaring at Leliana, though Duncan was busy whispering in his ear.

“Yes, it is believed that is exactly the fear from Grand Duke Gaspard’s camp.” Josephine was then interrupted by Leliana.

“Gaspard will not be trusted to leave the border alone if he is allowed to regain power, he will have much to prove and he is very military-minded. If not for the sheer weight behind the Imperial Army, he would have deposed Empress Celene years ago, his skirmishes are more effective but lack the man-power needed to fully retake power. It is something that should be considered.”

“Another set of words to hang in the air, such as assassination?” Came the faintly mocking tones from Solas, who was busy watching the decorated pair with some interest.

“As said before, we haven’t even been to Val Royeaux yet, perhaps we could see what actually awaits us there, before we talk about who we should kill off. Will they be expecting all of us, or will it be seen as an invasion force?” Lu took charge of the conversation as he recognised the shifting of stance in his wife, and the belligerence in Alistair as the precursor to a year-long argument, his question had however caused the diplomat to grimace discretely.

“There have been rumours, rumours that mention you defeating an army with just two people in the Free Marches, currently sending both of you could potentially be seen as an invasion force.” He clamped his hand over Vicky’s mouth as she opened it, and not lifting it even as she tried biting, and then licking to let her speak.

“That wasn’t an answer Ambassador.” he was relieved when Adaar spoke for him, as he was trying to keep his wife from saying something she might possibly regret.

“The evidence that so far you have travelled in such a large group and not forcefully taken ownership of anywhere does lend itself to the belief that you are merely a peacekeeping force.” She spoke slowly, carefully chewing over each word.

“But?” Lu was able to speak, even as his wife was busy trying to chew his handoff.

“May I speak plainly?” Josephine had been opening her mouth and stopping before speaking for a few moments, before breaking, with both Vicky and Lu nodding seriously. “If only some of you actually entered the city limits themselves, you may receive a warmer reception. The current size of the party you are travelling with will almost fill the main square if we count the Chargers. It would not be unreasonable to believe that with all of you there, you would easily be able to overthrow the city guards and take ownership of the Capital. However, as the aim is that after you have settled the dispute with the Chantry, is for you to travel further into Orlais to start to undo the damage done by the rifts, it would be unreasonable for them to not let you travel with the means to do so, so would be unlikely to object to having a ship full of the rest of the group.” Lu withdrew his hand finally from his wife's mouth, after she had speared him with a crystal, not quite piercing him, but firmly enough to warn.

“What about if we return back to Haven, after having seen the Chantry?” Vicky managed to retain a pleasant tone, even as her crystal was busy scraping over her husband’s hand, leaving welts but no blood.

“A small ambassadorial group? That would be seen in a more positive light than taking a horde. It would ease the fears of some, and remove the potential for it to be used against the Empress.” Josephine looked happier with that idea.

“I don’t see why not, if all we are supposed to be doing is making nice with the Chantry, and if by taking everyone it would appear to be a direct challenge, it would make sense to just travel with a minimal number, and I’m not just saying that because it’s my go-to, Alistair.” she held her hand up as he began to mutter “we would return back here and collect everyone else once we know what we are up against.” 

“It raises another question though, do we head straight for the Western Approach, or do we head to Antiva, or Nevarra, or even help settle the areas in between. Or do we focus on closing the breach first?” Lu was the one to ask the question that they had been dancing around for a while.

“We will be closing the breach first.” The pair looked at Cassandra with dubious expressions, whilst the others looked wary at the idea.

“That's fine,” Vicky gave her a placid smile.

“Why wouldn’t we be closing the breach first then?”

“Well, it depends on whether or not you believe the closing of the breach will be the end of the quest in which case we would be waking up and leaving all you fine folks behind.” The words hung heavily in the air.

“That, that was not something we had considered.” Josephine took a shuddery breath, as Vicky looked at her husband, who shrugged.

“At some point, we will need to have this discussion properly, and with input from more than the Inquisition.” Alistair gave his adopted parents a strained look.

“We also still, once again, need to head to Val Royeaux regardless before we start talking about what happens next. It makes no sense to plan for something we have no idea if we will be allowed to do.” Vicky nodded as Lu spoke.

“They may see it as a sign of aggression closing the breach straight away, a show of might, I think optimally we wait. We should wait and see what the Chantry meeting brings about, and in the meantime we shall send word to the different leaders and perhaps try a conclave?” Cassandra frowned at Joesphine, even as there was a mass outbreak of groaning.

“Another conclave is surely only going to invite trouble?”

“Perhaps, but having endeared ourselves to the different state leaders, it would be ill-mannered of us to then not involve them when it comes to whether or not closing the breach will leave us without a method of closing the remaining rifts.”

“So speaks the diplomat.”

“It is why I am here Cassandra, it would hardly be fitting to ignore the political ramifications of losing them when they are doing so much good, and are a symbol for the Inquisition as a bastion of positive change.”

“You realise ladies, that it could all be for nought? Other than the rifts, you can all do the rest of it yourselves, you don’t need us to stamp around fixing things.” Vicky paused, as she heard Adaar mutter across the fire “That’s what you think” making her snicker softly. 

“Look, it’s hardly rocket science, you just go see whose lost a shoe, find the shoe, or if you can’t find the shoe, go get them a brand new pair, and if it was an heirloom, Solas can do some magic old stuff and make it special.” He gave her a dirty look, “Still, we can see what comes from meeting with the Chantry, and we can go from there. If needs be, whilst we are travelling back you can send word through to the relevant people and then make a decision from there.”

“This leads on to the question as to who will be attending Val Royeaux?” Josephine looked down at her notes, whilst Cullen started to choke, Rylen helpfully smacking him on the back.

“Charter, Cullen, Adaar, Rylen and Puppy. I don’t think we need anyone else there.” Vicky dove in swiftly, turning to check with Lu, remembering the last time that there had been a conversation around who would be travelling with them.

“I would like to attend too!” Alistair had half raised to his feet, only to be pushed back down by Duncan, who looked at him if he was daft.

“Not advisable, Alistair” Lu answered, ignoring the betrayed look.

“You are not only a Grey Warden, but Crown Prince even with the news from Denerim that you will soon be a step further down,” Leliana cut across as Josephine went to speak, the betrayed expression morphing into a glare again as his attention changed to his old travelling companion.

“I would like to attend,” Fenris raised his hand, which made Vicky snicker softly.

“Any particular reason?” there was a dry edge to Lu’s question, as he prodded his snickering wife gently in the side.

“I would feel it would be advisable for one of us to attend.” came the reply.

“Rylen is from the Free Marches, if that’s what you mean, or do you think we need a male elf?” There was a definite challenge now to Lu’s voice, even as Vicky twisted round to give him a questioning look.

“I - please may I attend with you?” there was a pause, as Vicky shrugged, leaving it up to Lu who gave a small nod after leaving the question to linger for several breaths.

“Bas?” Bull managed to put the whole question into a word.

“Yeah, like not a chance, too much of a challenge if we bring two large male Qunari’s, so that you can “casually” stroll through the city centre. The whole point is to reduce the threat, not amp it up.” Vicky rolled her eyes at him, as he gave her a lazy blink or wink, Lu claimed to be able to tell the difference, she thought he was just making it up.

“Isabela, will you escort them through to the Capital?” Josephine gave the pirate her best diplomatic smile.

“Usual cost, of course.” there was a cheeky glint to her grin, as Charter tugged her down into arms reach.

“Naturally, ten or twenty lashes?” Charter spoke directly into her ear, making the pirate giggle lustily.

“The more the better, after all, all I will need is time to restock. The port is great, but hardly well supplied.” 

“That is another thing, is the plan to turn it into a proper trade base, or will it be for mission purposes only?” Leliana addressed the question towards Alistair, who was torn between glaring at her, and pouting at the couple, having been denied the chance to travel with them to the Orlesian capital.

“You would need to talk to Cailan about that, send word through to him, he should have an answer for you, and if not Anora will definitely. I wouldn’t want to step on any toes by guessing what the actual plan is.” He managed to speak politely, just.

“Supplies can be sent through to the port then Isabela, but we will wait before sending through too much. We will, of course, supply you with enough to get you there and back safely, however.” Leliana spoke sweetly, whilst staring at Alistair who rolled his eyes.

“Time scale?” Lu interjected before Alistair could start another fight.

“If you take the supplies with you, two days to get everything ready to depart, time enough to send through to the Chantry that you will attend, but not enough that they will have time to organise anything too heinous for your arrival.” Josephine gave them a pleased smile, ticking off another thing on her pad, with everyone scattering like dust in the wind to avoid being drawn into another argument.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On the 28th of September, 2019, at 1:20 am, I managed after delaying for a couple of weeks, to finally finish rewriting Part 1. Also the amount of chapters in now up to 25, from the original 22, but that's neither here nor there.
> 
> I can post them all pretty quickly from now on, or I can space them out. And hopefully I won't forget to finish posting them >.>


	21. Val Roywont

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four events, one city, the smallest group they've travelled in.

The next couple of days were spent very quietly, Lu slept for a lot of the time, finally kotowing to the exhaustion they had both been battling from being sociable for so long, whilst Vicky kept him company, only appearing to collect food and wool. For the others, it was spent mainly in quiet contemplation, there were lots of discussions between those who were going and those who weren’t, with Alistair lurking close by to where the decorated pair had hidden themselves off to.

He had asked several more times to travel with them, every time Vicky had shown her face, until Lu had pulled him off to one side and explained that the constant requesting to do something that only Alistair believed to be a good idea, was forcing his wife to decline him, which was upsetting her more than she showed. For all the lack of memory for their previous shared history, there was no denying the soft spot both of them had for the Prince, and the now admitted thought that they would be parting ways with all of them was already beginning to wear on the married couple.

Alistair had, however, escorted them to the edge of Haven, and had wrapped the small female up into a large hug before letting them depart, with only a slight hint of mist in her eyes, that she claimed to have been a small insect flying into her eyes, and allergies, nothing more.

The rest of the journey was as easy as it had been before, the roads clear and stable, horses well-rested, the camps well provisioned, coupled with the lack of for a better word, coupling, the much smaller group made much better time to the small dock. They were greeted by the Blades, who filled them in on the local gossip, or lack therefore of, with good news of sightings of the Royal patrols that had brought fresh supplies of armour and goods, and the starting of newcomers to the now rebuilt hamlet.

The voyage down to Val Royeaux was straightforward as well, with Isabela using the Blades as unpaid lackeys to ensure her boat was readily supplied, the weather remaining relatively calm, with Vicky muttering to Lu about how glad she was that she no longer experienced seasickness, if this was what Issy called calm. The crew, however, were in fine spirits, happy to be doing very little for great pay, though it was a different crossing than the one back from Kirkwall, far less swinging from the rigging sexploits, and more quiet touches and anxious glances.

The greeting at the Capital could only be described as one of fear. There was a heavily armed guard that greeted the ship, before the group was frog marched through to the central square, with no time to do more than wave a none to subtle cheery wave at Issy to remain where she was, with Lu forcing Charter to walk in the middle of the group after she had been groped by an armed guard and Puppy had growled, which had been better than Vicky, who had to be restrained from castrating him with her crystal instead of her eyes. They were then treated to the sight of a group of Chantry mothers on a platform, dressed to the nines, addressing the gathered merchants and nobles. Adaar had put her hand over the dwarf’s mouth, and Lu had moved Puppy to stand next to Charter, shaking his head at Adaar behind his back, with Adaar giving him a helpless look back.

The first verbal encounter was aggressive, and that was without their smallest being allowed to explode. The spokeswoman for the Chantry, choosing to make comments in regards to comparing them to barbarians and savages doing very little to endear the Chantry to the decorated pair, even with the soft snickering from Adaar as she’d been pointed at, and Puppy had puffed his chest out like a Rooster, gaining a good foot of height that had made some of the more anxious step back out of the now perceived range.

It was, however, the Templars arrival that really set the cat amongst the pigeons. Not content with the armed guards, and the not so hidden Chevaliers that had meant Fenris had also been shunted into the middle of the group, with Lu clamping a hand on his shoulder and whispering in his ear to make him stay quiet, the Chantry had also had a small horde of Templars marching in.

There was a moment of distinct unrest as the square fell silent, with the small Inquisition group now surrounded by all sides by what appeared to be hostile forces, the two human warriors looking uneasy, the two Qunari warriors looking very blank-faced, and the small female dwarf looking ready to kill, a very peculiar smile on her face as there was a strange sound of crystal cracking.

“We came in peace.” the small female stepped forward, her head tilted as she had before, looking very much like a viper ready to strike, her voice carrying across the bodies to the vitriolic Mother.

“You don’t deserve any respect, you come here and expect us to fall at your feet, you false gods promising the unthinkable and claiming that you can stitch the very skies together.” The lead Templar stepped closer to her, eyes red and saliva clinging to his lips and she gave him a toothy smile.

“We have made no claims of gods,” she made no attempt to temper her words, her tone biting and mocking, “We can close the rifts that is very true. We have come here only to gain permission to do so as we did for Ferelden and the Free Marches, neither of whom now suffer from them. We have no desire as you say, to have anyone at our feet in the manner you suggest.” It was a testament to how stressed the situation was that there was no scoffing at this, not even from Rylen.

As the spokeswoman for the Chantry mothers started to speak, she was sucker-punched by one of the Templars, a rather ratty looking one as Vicky would go on to describe him later, causing the whole square to go into uproar.

“Lord Seeker? What are you doing?” One of the younger Templars stepped forward only to be pushed by another of the plated elders, with another hushing him with a smack across the mouth.

“This is not the order, you have honour and this not honourable behaviour, come and join us in doing what’s right,” Cullen roared, stepping forward to stand beside the female, a look of disbelief on his face that was mirrored on Rylen’s.

“Pah, you have no honour, this place has no honour, we will leave it to the dogs and let it burn, the Templar order will grind all enemies into the ground where they belong.” The Lord Seeker stepped closer, spitting at Cullen’s feet whilst the small female stilled, her hand as firmly on her crystal as the Lord Seekers was on his sword, before a swell of people surged forward, swamping the small still island of Inquisition.

There was a terrible calm, as the dwarf and the Seeker stared at each other, almost touching, before he withdrew, taking all but two of the Templars with him. The two youngest seemingly getting cut off by the people and guards, managing to somehow keep the bulk of the horde between themselves and the departing Order. Who then made their way across to the silent Inquisition group as the crowds were dispersed by the guards, and the remaining Order had cleared the square completely.

“Knight-Captain Cullen, please can you grant us Sanctuary?” the dark-skinned templar spoke up, both of them bowing before Cullen, for the moment ignoring the rest of them, impressively ignoring them as the small dwarf was radiating with rage.

“First you need to tell us what just happened, since when does the Lord Seeker Lucius have control of the Order?” Cullen growled at them, with Rylen moving up to stand just behind his left shoulder, looking stern.

“Since Seeker Lambert passed away two years ago, he has taken control and there has been a worrying change within the order. They have withdrawn all but those you saw here today, of the higher ranks back to Therinfal Redoubt, and it’s unsettling, for those of us who are of a different rank. There have been rumours of experimentations happening, and senior members have disappeared, and not just those who are outspoken.” He did well to meet Cullen’s eyes, whilst his fellow Templar shuffled uncomfortably as the rest of them remained silent.

“Why is this the first anyone is hearing about it?” Rylen squared his shoulders, as Cullen growled.

“Since the war broke out, there has been general unrest with the Order not being as in good stead as it previously had. The, the” The Templar looked highly uncomfortable as Cullen stared at him, “With Knight Commander Meredith decapitating the Grand Cleric in Kirkwall, and then declaring a war on all Mages, and trying to kill all the Nobles, well, the Templar Order lost much of it’s standing.” He managed to rush the words out, not dropping the gaze of the Knight-Captain who had worked so closely with the crazed Commander.

“Perhaps we should have this conversation maybe not in the middle of the square, maybe we could have it elsewhere. Offer the lads sanctuary, no harm in taking them with us, and more harm to them if they stayed by themselves currently. If the order has withdrawn from polite society, I doubt they would be happy to let two roam free and easy to share secrets, without finding a way to permanently silence them.” Lu murmured to Cullen, with the two new Templars looking relieved as the former Knight-Captain nodded. 

“Cullen, perhaps you should take our new friends to the accommodation, as it would appear we are no longer the enemy as our friends have seemingly vanished.” Vicky waved her hand around the square to where only a couple of guards remained, next to large ornamental gates. He begrudgingly nodded as it appeared that they would not be joining him, as only Rylen opted to go with the now pure Templar group, leaving the others to make plans of attack for everything they still needed to do.

Charter was on high alert, her “I’m being watched” senses tingling as she scoured the corners and rooftops to spot the threat, that still didn’t stop her from leaping out of the way as an arrow shot itself in front of the pair, bearing a red hanky and a message.

“Not a shot meant to kill at least, but still Charter, probably best if you investigate?” Adaar petted her elf friend gently, soothing her as she was glaring at the arrow and then at the rooftop. 

“Not that I’m saying that I don’t trust these people to keep their hands to themselves, but there is no way Charter is going off alone. I mean obviously she is a strong independent woman, but these are arseholes, arseholes who didn’t think twice about groping her in public, while she was surrounded by people. Either you take someone with you, or we all go. We will leave no one behind in this cesspit.” Vicky didn’t lower her voice one bit, staring hard at a Chevalier who was loitering with intent nearby, who scowled back at her, whilst the dwarf fingered her hated red crystal with intent.

They then spent a minute arguing about who was better suited, until they realised the two elves had disappeared off whilst Adaar had been debating with Puppy who was scarier to the humans, while Vicky had sidled off to inspect the fruit on an ornamental tree nearby, with Lu watching her carefully, not trusting in her ability to not launch herself at the loitering Chevalier who had backed off a few paces as she’d walked closer. He let out a low growl as she diverted off to the platform, dodging the remaining Inquisition members who were still debating, until he was forced to smack them both on the backs of their heads, before pushing past to join his deliberately frustrating wife.

What happened next was an extremely awkward conversation with the Chantry mothers, after they had been aided back to their feet. They were peppered with questions regarding Divinity - they weren’t, and the Maker - sounded like an ok type of person, but they weren’t really looking for religion. Adaar had started choking at that, and Puppy had to lead her away to get her some water. 

The upshot of the whole exchange had been that neither part had come away with anything beyond unease, though the fact that they were adamant that they were not Divine nor claimed to be sent by the Maker, was seen to be the correct response with the main agitator nodding slowly. There had been a strange standoff as the conversation had reached an impasse, that was only broken when a Merchant off to one side caught Vicky’s eye, and there had been a collective sigh of relief as the couple were able to make their excuses and retreat without losing ground.

Belle was only the first merchant to stop them, offering support and trade deals for Haven and the Inquisition in general, before being passed rapidly to Adaar to arrange, though Belle was giving a tiny advantage for her intervention, beyond the lingering kiss upon her cheek, which had been proffered as a form of thanks, and the dull flushing as something she didn’t care to share when asked later, was whispered in her ear.

Adaar was forced to accept the invitation to a salon, from the leader of the last remaining Loyalist Mages, as Vicky had read it and scoffed, about to list out the names of all the loyal mages she knew, with Lu distracted by Puppy trying to square off to a cocky masked Lord who was surrounded by guards. 

Adaar then tasked herself with the uphill struggle of trying to convince the pair to actually dress up to attend, as Vicky was still rejecting any attempts to wear anything beyond a tunic dress without shoes no less, and Lu often went shirtless as he hated things being pulled over his horns. It took far longer than Adaar had wanted, but not as long as she had expected, Puppy being surprisingly helpful in distracting them from complaining too much about the whole ordeal, even when Vicky had started to whine about her feet hurting moments of being forced into a tailors, and Lu looking bored every time she showed him anything.

They had left the third tailors having successfully complied with Adaar’s strict requirements of being fully clothed, a longer dress, or at least, a tunic dress that didn’t skim her mid-thighs and actually covered her knees, and a billowing white shirt that only a little bit made Lu look like a pirate, they had even found a pair of sandals that didn’t touch Vicky’s heels, though she’d already started to limp by the time that they made it back to the Inn that they were supposed to be staying at, with Adaar giving up in disgust as the shoes were removed to reveal bloodied little toes and huge blisters on the balls of her feet, with Vicky somehow looking smug even as she couldn’t walk properly.

She was sat down in the room where Ser Barris and Ser Paxley had been stashed, with a bucket of cold water and medicinal herbs for her feet, whilst they exchanged the latest information. The two newcomers had been sworn into the Inquisition by Cullen, although they had offered to reiterate their vows in front of the decorated pair, with Lu shaking his head and Vicky coughing as she caught a glance at Cullen’s despairing face. 

The threat of retaliation against the escapee baby Templars was dubious at best, considering the word on the street being that the Order had fully withdrawn from the Capital, but they were to be kept in the room out of sight with their own honour guard, in the form of Rylen and Fenris, who had managed to get into several scuffles with masked men whilst escorting Charter, and as such was no longer trusted to play nicely. He’d just pointed at the female dwarf, who had waved her left hand at him.

“She almost killed a man earlier!” Charter gave him a look, and then continued to stare at him before he’d shuffled on the spot. “They were trying to attack us, so they had to die, it is not the same thing.”

“Who is she? The cat’s mother?” Adaar groaned as the troublesome female spoke, her husband happily ignoring them now to chat quietly with the newcomers, rather than get dragged into another argument brought on by boredom and nerves.

“Fenris, someone needs to stay with Rylen and keep the babies from being attacked, no offence” Puppy snickered softly as Charter didn’t even turn to look at the men who she was not offending, with them doing their best not to listen.

“Just think, you, me, and these two, no Varric to try and fleece us, no pirate to misdirect, or Solas to pretend that he doesn’t understand the rules while he takes our money, and best of all no Connor, who cheats so blatantly and we still aren’t allowed to bounce up and down on.” Cullen none too gently nudged Rylen as Lu gave him a warning look.

“Connor is fine, treat it as a judgment for continuing to gamble with him when you are in your cups.” 

“At some point, he’ll get caught by people who aren’t as forgiving as us.” Rylen had now decided that this was something that could be easy enough to argue about, rather than the other much bigger things that Fenris seemed intent in bringing up for the nth time.

“That’s what Alistair is there for, and everyone else.” Even Charter gave Vicky a look at this, “Alright, but he’s competent, and realistically unless Thedas becomes a society where all people are free, is he ever going to be allowed to be alone? So, give him this. He gets to cheat with people who are too daft to stop him, or just not play with him anymore. Because that is the alternative, you can just not play. Just like you can think for a moment about why Varric only likes to play with certain people at the table, or Issy always seems to have the right cards but only with certain decks. And Solas, we all know he knows exactly what he’s doing, so why do you keep forgetting it every time he lies about it? It’s like you have a stupid spell cast on you, Solas says so it must be true, but only when it comes to gambling.”

“Duncan stepped in with Thom.” She gave the roguish Templar a look.

“Thom is a Warden, he’s under Duncan’s command, we aren’t in command, you are here of your own free will, and we mistakenly believed you were an adult who could make your own decisions.” her fingers were fully extended as her blue crystal was used to pick at the nails, with Rylen suddenly looking much paler.

“We have a meeting place that we have been cordially invited too, thanks to our friends who like to shoot messages at us.” Charter stepped in before the daft man could stick his foot further into his mouth.

“Wonderful,” and the tension was broken. It was agreed that Charter would follow the others on the rooftops to ensure no more arrows were to be sent in their general direction, with Puppy volunteering to aid her, with both Adaar and Lu looking dubious at his ability to hide, until Charter accepted it without any issue. The others were to head to the meetup spot as directed by the message Charter had managed to decipher between extracting Fenris from fights that he had completely gone out of his way to start.

There was, of course, an ambush, but not for them. Which had come as a surprise truth be told, the fire mage who had bragged about his importance whilst they looked blankly at him, had been quickly dealt with by an arrow in the neck from a highly scruffy rogue, which pleased Vicky greatly. Not so much with her words, though the married couple had grinned at her accent, but more so the fact that she was a rogue and a female one at that. Having only three (or four if you counted the dwarf as a hon rogue) was in Vicky’s opinion, monumentally daft, and they were gagging for more. The female element was much needed too, with two women floor side, complaining bitterly about the smell around the campsites at the end of the day.

Cullen had nudged them both as Sera had begun to look less enthusiastic about joining. The stealing of the breeches had gone down well with half of the group, cackling as the guards tried to fight whilst shielding their genitals, so much so that when the breeches were then offered up as a prize, Sera was instructed to donate them to the poor. She hadn’t looked overly happy about being made to do it, but after a long (well there was some mark touching, and glowing happening) conversation where she admitted to knowing better than they who would need them, agreed to it.

Her request to join up was granted without a second thought, not that anyone was in any doubt after the long rant about how they were drowning in warriors, and mages, and that all rogues from now on as long as they weren’t evil would be allowed to join, but any warriors would need to take a long test, unless they were female. Mages too, unless they were female. 

Cullen, however, after he’d recovered from being dismissed as merely a male warrior by a woman who had trained him, even if she didn’t remember, had to be convinced. Adaar and Charter worked relatively hard because well, she was in regardless of whether Cullen actually objected or not, the Red Jennies were highly unlikely to be working for Tevinter as another spy network as it went against everything the Jennies believed in. 

Sera agreed to travel back with them after they “concluded business” in the area, putting on a hoity-toity tone as she’d repeated Adaar’s description of their schedule, with Vicky grinning as the female Qunari groaned, although she didn’t object to the leers nor the accidental falling into. 

While Sera’s meeting had been fairly productive and straightforward, if you can call watching adults stumble about without breeches on straightforward, the Salon was more a disaster. It really hadn’t helped that Madame De Fer had ignored Lu when speaking to them after her guests had been thoroughly rude to not only Charter for being a rabbit, Adaar for being a savage mercenary, Puppy for being a barbarian who threatened to break the floor just by walking on it, and Cullen for abandoning the Order to work for the Inquisition. 

Nor had it helped when the Madame didn’t dispute the latter, informing him that he should have, in her humble opinion, remained as a Templar and worked as an ambassador instead, so that he would have been in a far more favourable position to curry favour for the Chantry, and perhaps even would have helped avoid the unfortunate business in the Square. 

It didn’t help when Vicky was almost completely certain, that the only reason why she hadn’t addressed Cullen when speaking to them, was because her mark was fully on display, unlike her husbands, who was currently wearing gloves to hide the rope burns that they had forgotten to do anything about until it was time to walk out of the Inn. Adaar had been only a tad annoyed when they then had to spend extra time trying to find someone who had big enough hands, and who also had gloves, and then had to persuade the dock worker to part with them, for what Charter claimed to be three times what a whole outfit would have cost him. 

There was a definite ranking system, however, Human, Dwarf, and then Avvar, Qunari and Elf all on the same rung, the rung that you scraped the shit off your boots onto as you made your way up the ladder of social standing. She wasn’t entirely sure if Dwarf was actually above the other three, but the mark made her more valuable.

Still, the Madame hadn’t killed the lad who had tried to duel Cullen (he had ignored the rest of them, believing anything not human to be not worthy of his time) and she had listened to the request to let him go unharmed. Charter was busy making notes as to whom everyone was who had acted without any respect, and sent the notes off to Leliana with a note to Josephine as to any other knowledge in regards to potential trade deals that could be wrangled in the ensuing apologies that she was sure they would receive after the closing of the breach. 

The Madame deigned to offer them her aid, and it was with great sadness that they had decided to accept, after Charter had whispered into Lu’s ear that perhaps having someone who was so clearly ingrained within the Orlesian elite, by their side would be better when applying for access to traipse armies across its borders. Adaar had muttered something in Vicky’s ear that had the pair of them giving the horned woman a speculative look, that for the first time, had her looking unsettled.

Still, the Madame claimed she would only need a day to prepare, with Charter guessing quietly to Lu, that she was already ready to travel with them, as only idiots would have declined her invitation. The married couple just grinned.

On the last full day before leaving, with Cullen getting antsy about coming away from Val Royeaux with less than they had set out to achieve, they received an invitation, that was delivered on a note, a rather discreet note, which requested the presence of only the couple to attend a very private meeting within the Chantry itself. A short, fiery discussion later and the cooler heads of both Adaar and Charter overruled the agitated males, agreeing with Lu’s opinion as to how dangerous it actually would be, compared to the potential benefits.

As it was, they were greeted by a fairly drab looking blonde, who was introduced to them as Empress Celene, by the spokeswoman from the square, a sour-faced Mother Hevarra, who looked as happy to see them as the Madame had done, when they had turned up on mass, with all the undesirables.

The next three hours were spent in deep discussion as to the nature of the access they would require, and what the couple saw happening in regards to a power balance. The Empress, or Celene as she insisted on being called after the Mother had departed, claiming that she would be damned if Anora Mac Tir would show her up, had no illusions as to the potential impact the couple could have on her reign. 

She did, however, surprisingly have areas that she would prefer to be dealt with first, and not necessarily those that were “hers” in the power struggle, but were still heavily affected by the rifts and unrest. It had proved most enlightening indeed. She had offered some aid to the Inquisition, should they react quickly to the worst of the problem areas, although she was also aware of the issues in regards to access in certain places. She had then been surprised when Vicky had reached over and patted her gently on the hand, before telling her that the day the Inquisition needed aid, was the day the world exploded. She hadn’t looked overly reassured funnily enough, though Lu had made a sound that sounded a little like a snicker.

They’d discussed the Mage issue, well not so much a discussion more a standstill, that she had brought up. Celene acknowledged the necessity of ensuring the breach was actually closed, but pointed out that the border was at a delicate balance and at this time, she would be risking too much to allow such a force to crowd there, especially when there was the much safer, or previously much safer alternative of the Templars. She hadn’t been happy to hear their account of what had happened in the Square, having heard the official Chantry version which had pinned most of the blame on the Inquisition upsetting the Lord Seeker and forcing him to leave. 

Interestingly though, there was a map laid out, that had very clear borders marked out, which had strange gaps, areas of the Frostbacks that were according to her maps, neither Ferelden nor Orlesian, belonging to what remained of the Chasind, the Wilders and the Avvar. To her mind, she couldn’t think for a moment why anyone would be afraid of anything that happened on land belonging to barbarians who chose to ignore good civilised people. They were far too small for either nation, in her humble opinion, to be seen as any real threat beyond the occasional raids. After all, it was up to the individual landowners to manage that size of threat, not for the nations too. She had then given them both a stern look.

It was a glimmer of hope, however, with Lu making a note of the wording as Vicky became more distracted by the civil liberties issue that was occurring in regards to not only the Elves, but also to the underclass as a whole. The standard of overall care and hygiene had been what she politely called, needing improvement, even within the areas that had been clearly tarted up for the tourists. She then proceeded to cite the examples of societal abuse that was happening in the Chantry name, with Celene avoiding promising anything claiming that she had as much control over the Chantry as she did over the moons themselves. 

Which had set Vicky off again about owing a debt to those who were walked all over, so that she was able to gaze at the moon, with Celene remarkably good-tempered, restating that she was unable currently to do much in regards to societal change. That perhaps, if this was to change, - Lu gave the woman a sceptical look - then she would be able to bring about much social justice and equality. A fine sentiment, that had been greeted with a quiet snort, which was ignored generously by all involved.

That said, she did gift them access to the University in Orlais for Inquisition use over the issue of the myths that were still plaguing them, even with all the months of the two elven mages working closely together. In return, Lu plainly stated the risk of what might occur when they did close the breach, and that Josephine would be in touch to invite her into talks with the other nations as to the impact closing the breach could potentially have for the continuation of the decorated pairs travels in Thedas.

“Isn’t it interesting, how all the mages are in Ferelden,” A very passing comment, accompanied with a sniff, as a marker appeared on the map positioned over Redcliffe, too deliberate to be anything but a message.

“Not all mages, why here is one right here in Orlais,” Lu bowed before his wife, as she gave the Empress a smile, a very placid smile.

“Perhaps the rumours are wrong, that Cailan owns the majority of the mages, and has them obligated to him for their protection.” She returned the smile, as her fingers drifted over a small statuette of a male warrior.

“Rumours are often wrong,” the two women continued to smile at each other.

“Truer words…” the statuette had been moved with more markers to the border, with the marker in Redcliffe moved to Haven, where they remained until the Mother returned to escort them away, with them disappearing moments before she entered the room.

It had been… an interesting and somewhat beneficial visit, with Celene promising that she could only see a bright future between the Inquisition and herself, once her problem had been resolved. There had been no surprises to find that both the marker and the statuette were later delivered to the Inn, wrapped up in the map.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So all of Part 1 is done, whoop, and part 2 is a good chapter in of the rewrite of the original draft. Also part 4 is two chapters in draft wise.... but we won't worry about that. 
> 
> In other news, I finally got over my Korrigan block, so I will be finishing that up this month, whoop whoop...


	22. Envy is a Terrible Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go to Therinfal Redoubt and have a jolly good time!

They returned as quietly as they’d left, and were greeted with rather less uproar than expected given the news they were bringing. Charter merely gave the decorated couple a look, before they both looked for once, a tad shamefaced, they’d also seen the scouts in Val Royeaux, and had even commented on it. Of course, Leliana would have received word of the events, if only of those that had happened in the Square. 

Cassandra, however, was beyond peeved with the Lord Seeker’s actions and had ranted at Cullen until Lu had stepped in, asking her what exactly she thought Cullen could have done to prevent any of it, and what she would have done differently under the circumstances. There had been an awkward moment, as everyone else had pretended to be occupied in other things whilst the Seeker had spluttered, before crumpling in on herself. 

Josephine, was more concerned, however, by how open the Empress had been with the couple, from the fact that she had met with them at all, and alone, to the less than subtle warnings. All leading to the belief that her position was much more unstable than had previously been believed. 

The information in regards to borders, had sent everyone scrambling for maps, with long drawn out conversations with both Amund and Puppy as to where different Avvar holds borders were, that they were aware of. More surprisingly though, it had been Solas who had come up with a place that would suit well, one that then was backed by both Avvar, as somewhere that was most assuredly real, but unoccupied due to different reasons. They couldn’t be drawn on as to what those reasons were, with Puppy looking increasingly uncomfortable as to being asked by Leliana, before Adaar stepped in, shielding him from further questions as Vicky gazed on with a benevolent eye. 

Much later after the spymistress had retreated, the pair confessed to different theories. Amund believed that it had been the gods themselves, that had wished for the keep to remain unoccupied until the right people came. Puppy, in a fit of confidence that showed the glimpse of a Chieftains son, shared what he had learnt from his father. The Fortress was something that the many holds had found cause for concern, any hold that had held it, had become the dominant in the region, which would trigger many bloody battles for its ownership, after a whole hold had been wiped out, there had been an agreement, an unspoken one, not to exploit it as to keep the relative peace. 

The decorated pair promised that for access to the Fortress, in exchange they would do their best to offer their services free of charge, and that they would spend enough time in each relevant area as to increase both fertility, but also the overall prosperity in regards to resources. The Inquisition also formally offered aid in times of strife, in both military aid - this had Alistair giving Leliana narrowed looks, and medical. Amund reiterated whilst Puppy rolled his eyes, behind the Skywatchers back, that it was as he had said, that the gods had wished for it to be so. 

Solas, had much to Merrill’s enjoyment, supplied the Fortress with an Elvhen name, Tarasyl’an Te’las, trying to dodge more questions by announcing that the last time he had visited the place in the fade - he’d done well and not glared as there had been a round of “oooh the fade” from the more mischievous in the group, it had looked ill-kept, and would need work doing before anyone would consider living there for beyond a night. 

“So are we doing it then?” Alistair found himself the centre of attention as he had pushed the mage marker over where the Fortress was believed to be. 

“The alternative is what?” unsurprisingly it had been his decided nemesis who challenged him, much to his displeasure.

“Just because Celene says, we are jumping?” Leliana gave him a pitying look, which he bristled at.

“Alistair, we are merely going to send over a team over to assess the situation, whilst we wait for a decision from your King.” There were several sympathetic winces in the crowd at this dig. 

“Stop baiting him, look, Alistair, realistically other than it’s come from Celene, what is the problem with the plan?” Vicky gave him the please don’t be a brat look.

“It just seems unnecessary, I thought we were supposed to be all for Mage rights, and now we are talking about dumping them nationless into the middle of the mountains. It just seems backwards.” There was a pause, before Josephine cut across before Leliana could speak.

“The Empress has risked a great deal to warn us of the danger for Ferelden, the Mages, and the Inquisition should things remain the same. Until the political situation in Orlais becomes more stable, there would be little she could do should the Grand Duke decide to force the issue. We would hardly be leaving them alone as it is our understanding that the Inquisition will be leaving with them.” The quiet babble fell completely silent.

“It is our understanding that after the events with the Lord Seeker, the Inquisition will be pursuing what has happened with the Templar Order, we will be using any evidence uncovered to solidify our stance as staunch protectors of the innocent.” Leliana slipped back in over the silence, with Solas scoffing as much as Alistair.

“And we are to believe that there is no alternative reasoning behind this sudden altruism?” Asked Solas. 

“Perhaps you would care to talk with me further, Solas, perhaps back in the Chantry?” Leliana spoke with a cloying sweetness.

“Perhaps we shouldn’t be threatening our colleagues, Leliana, or have you forgotten basic manners since leaving Ferelden.” Alistair leaned forward with a growl.

“Perhaps we should all calm the fuck down before we start putting you over knees and spanking you.” Vicky stood up abruptly, pointing at them all with a barely concealed snarl. “Alistair, you and Josephine need to have a chat, a nice one about what’s actually happening. Solas, you need to stay well away from our pissed off spy mistress, and Leliana, stop baiting them. The situation is shitty enough, without bear baiting our own people. You, Cullen and Cassandra can organise with our wonderful tradespeople the best team to head out to the Fortress, Solas can not go with them, as he has only visited in the Fade.” She waited a moment, “Now people, daylights wasting, you three don’t speak to each other without a responsible adult present, and not before you’ve all calmed down.”

They successfully managed to keep Alistair and Leliana apart for the remainder of the time they were at Haven, Alistair having calmed down after he received word from his Brother as to his stance on the Mage question. Fiona had sent word through Connor, that the Mages based in Redcliffe whilst not eager, were not against having a more permanent residence. 

It was decided that they would send a small contingent out to Skyhold, or Tarasyl’an Te’las depending on who was asked in the group, whilst the main horde set off to investigate Therinfal Redoubt with a party of Nobles who had offered their aid in trying to wrangle the Templars from the insanity that they seemed to be undergoing. Cassandra had wavered in regards to attending with them, as it appeared to be influenced heavily by the head of her order, however, after Cullen had quietly spoken to her, had decided against it. 

Neither would discuss what had been said.

There was no doubt in anyone’s minds that they made a fine procession, with the Chargers bolstering the contingent as the threat of meeting an already hostile Order turning into something more violent, became highly probable.

The Nobles spent their time courting the decorated pair, some for fertility rites, some merely for a fun experience, which the pair bore with good grace, even if Alistair turned red every time he spotted them disappear off into tents with people he knew from the Court. Bull had cornered Cullen to find out what exactly went into these fertility rituals that had the Nobles in such a flutter all over. The roar of laughter had been heard by all of the camp, as Cullen and Charter had shown him the random mixture of arm-waving, speaking in tongues and then lectures on good sex from the pair to whomever they were dealing with.

He’d waited long enough for Lu to be awake, before bringing it up safely in the Chargers area, handing him coffee whilst his wife pretended to be awake by making noises but never actually opening her eyes. After the coffee had set in, Lu had managed to grin at him, and then set off into a long and detailed explanation about placebos, which in turn had woken Vicky up enough to off-key sing about Every Girl and Every Boy, claiming it made perfect sense to her. 

Charter and Merrill had kept very quiet, exchanging glances that hadn’t gone unnoticed by the spy, but as they often did unless tormenting Solas, there was nothing new there.

Barris had travelled with them, with Paxley remaining back in Haven alongside Cassandra, not trusting himself to travel with them. He was more at ease with Cassandra, having decided that the openness was too much to cope with on top of all the other changes in his life. Barris had been less concerned in that nature, having spent his time Mage hunting rather than cloistered up in the Circles, and had learnt early on the best ways to get information in strange places. He’d adapted better than anyone had expected, happily buddying up to Rylen, although still fairly skittish around Cullen who in turn found himself stiffening into a position of authority around the junior former Templar. 

Still, they had been grateful for Barris when on arrival, they were denied entry, with it only being Barris convincing them to open the gates after the Nobles had failed to sway the junior Templars. It had left Barris being stared at openly by the more suspicious ones amongst them, as to how he had managed it when he had claimed to be so lowly, but the invitation into the outer courtyard took precedence over dragging him over the coals.

They were cordially invited, or at least Vicky had been, Lu being mainly ignored as he seemingly merged in with Bull and Adaar in the eyes of the Templar troops as Qunari savages, to follow Templar tradition and raise flags. She had refused, stating that it raised flags of her own, as the feeling of unease spread quickly through their horde, the obvious agitation of the more senior Templar members making her skin crawl. 

It was no surprise to any of them, when they were attacked whilst being corralled into a small room by a sinister-looking Templar with red eyes and a crossbow. Whilst he denied it later, Varric triggered the beginning of the attack as he yelled “Well shit” as he heard the mechanics of the bolt being drawn, and the subsequent fight became the precursor for a long drawn out battle through to the main keep proper, aided by the younger and less experienced Templars who found themselves being attacked by their own Order. 

It became more difficult with the sheer number of people fighting, with the attacked Templars quickly getting pushed behind the sheer might of the Inquisition forces, allowing the ranged members to take out as many as they could before the risk of the suspicious red crystals could infect their important front line. The suspicious amount of corpses that they came across as they fought their way forward, with red shards seemingly growing out of them, being enough to install caution amongst the more melee heavy warriors and rogues.

Lu had been exchanging glances with Vicky off and on through the fighting, with the pair of them randomly frowning before shaking their heads, until Cullen became concerned about Lu’s welfare, forcing him to go and stand with his wife after he had to block a sword from cutting into his neck. The pair being balled into the middle of the pack, as protected as they could be, even as the smaller snarled about being babied.

When they finally reached the main doors to the inner keep, it quickly became apparent the cause of concern as the Lord Seeker, stalked out to greet them unaccompanied. A moment passed as the dwarf and the human looked at each other with the same intensity as they had back in the square, before beckoning her forward with a spindly finger and an obscene expression on his face. The sheer number of bodies between them, vanished as she nimbly dodged through the impressive crowd and slinked up to him with her own unpleasant smile on her face, Lu looking passive behind her shoulder.

What happened next was in some ways, as Varric remarked later, only to be expected as the Lord Seeker reached out to touch her with his bone like fingers, she reacted by punching him hard in the crotch, making him double over and her then headbutting him. The pair of them falling to the floor, with her convulsing for a good twenty seconds as Lu’s form flickered in and out of focus, which caused more uproar between the troops at the ghostlike appearance.

Between an eternity and a breath he stabilised, as she stopped convulsing and her eyes opened, with the Lord Seeker dissolving into an Envy Demon, which shrieked before running back into the cavernous chambers behind him before anyone was able to react to attack. Charter slammed her hand over Varric’s mouth as he started up with another rendition of “Well shit”, and Adaar had accidentally jabbed at Bull as he had yelled “Demonnnnssss” with the hilt of her sword, with Cullen quickly separating them as they threatened to devolve into fighting.

Lu in the meantime was busy trying to crack his wife’s bones with his hug, having chosen to ignore the squabbling behind to make sure she was not harmed. They were then both subjected to many touches and prods, both physical and magical, as Lu’s status was confirmed as not one where he would disappear. He was once more, completely solid, which she proved by pushing him over and hopping onto his chest to press multiple kisses along his jawline until the fighting behind had finished.

Lu, then took point, declaring that he was no longer suffering from the same ailment, and that no Cullen wouldn’t have to get him a big enough helmet, because he would keep his head in the game. Vicky, however, was kept back with Anders, to be monitored after she had stumbled over a corpse that she swore hadn’t been there before she put her foot down. 

They continued on, following after the demon’s path, to be greeted by more Templars facing attack by the red beasts, the horde of the Inquisition making quick work of the attackers, moving efficiently to clear out the threat only to be slowed down by the barrier that the demon raised to stop them from following. 

They had wavered between tearing it down, before hearing that there were more trapped in other areas who would surely be under the same kind of attack that these were. Adaar had grinned at Vicky and Charter who were busy trying to discreetly be fainting maidens as the plea was made, before pushing Lu at his wife to stop her from attempting to take the barrier down by herself as the others split off to rescue the senior members.

Cullen looked highly concerned as the small teams regrouped, coming back with news of Red Lyrium being fed to senior Templars as experiments, complete with in-depth notes and diagrams. Letters and orders with assassination threats, with more subtle and not so subtle mentionings of the Elder One and demon armies helping to further upset the former Commander, with no one else looking particularly happy about it, not even those who liked having proof. They had, however, managed to save everyone that they could, and Charter had taken responsibility for looking after all the relevant documentation to ensure that the Kirkwall incident wouldn’t occur again. 

The unaffected Templars lent their aid in removing the barrier, with only some mutterings from Anders as to the need to do so, but it had given them a boost to their confidence, again muttering from the Mages in general about this, after the sheer chaos in the place and the world-altering revelation. The Mages decidedly keeping away from the Templars, even Vivienne who had been remarkably quiet after skimming through some of the notes, where previously she had been fairly vocal in her support.

The Envy Demon had lasted longer than most threats had, though Charter had muttered quietly to Adaar that perhaps it wouldn’t have taken any time, if the Templars hadn’t tried to avenge their honour by surging like headless chicken. They hadn’t endeared themselves by then, with little care for timing as the last of the red beasts were twitching still in death throws, happily handed themselves over to the decorated pair. 

The very familiar deathly silence, that came before an explosion of ranting from the small female, had Anders and Lu hurry her out of the grounds and back through to the camp, claiming that she needed to be checked properly for convulsions, which was readily believed as she had started to vibrate with what to those who had spent any time with them, could see was pent up rage.

Cullen then spent not a small amount of time with the most senior of the Templars explaining in detail why thrusting decisions like that on your rescuers before the thing you’ve just been fighting has stopped twitching, was not always advisable. Isabela had snorted at that, before returning to her leering at the younger Templars who were hovering between adrenaline and terror. 

The remaining Inquisition, split off to mop up, healing those who needed it, mainly from self-inflicted and friendly fire, as some of them had charged with eyes closed and hacked until they’d been knocked to their feet to stop them rampaging. Rooms were swept for documents and threats, with the pure lyrium stores being left where they were, the Chargers being handed over responsibility for guarding it, with the red lyrium samples being carefully stashed away for the Mages to debate the merits of studying it in attempts to negate its effects, against the risks of keeping it. 

The Nobles had been understandably shocked and concerned as to how the Templars had not only managed to be run by a demon with no one noticing, but also the threat of the red lyrium being forced onto people, with the spectre of the Elder One now suddenly rushing into full colour as a viable threat in the eyes of the Elite. Not that, as they claimed, they had ever doubted that this wasn’t the case, but other people had, of course, believed it to be a mere tale told to garner support.

To say the argument in regards as what to do with the Templars was explosive would be ignoring how divisive it had proven to be. Once again, the issue didn’t just divide the horde, but also a rift between the Nobles internally, not helped by manipulations on both sides of the arguments, using emotive words to fuel the unrest.

There had been a call to dismantle from those who had decided to attribute the blame for the Envy Demon not being noticed, on the surviving Templars, which had gone down like a spoon of cold sick with Lu, who had allowed himself to be drawn into a more mediatory role, unwilling to formalise his own viewpoint as Vicky sat quietly by his side, still not speaking as she gave unsettling smiles to those who stepped over the line verbally. Occasionally she would let her gaze fall upon a blank space that seemed to form by her side regardless of however many people were with them.

Others had wanted to keep the Templar Order as it was, and to merely accept them into the Inquisition as a force to keep the Mages already within under control. Vivienne had looked momentarily surprised as she uttered the last part, having garnered not a small amount of support up until she was exploded at for trying to subdue her own kind. There was a break to allow tempers to cool down, without the risk of an all-out Mage fight between themselves, with the none Mage’s being warned to not intervene.

The Templars themselves were still too shocked and unsettled to make any decisions themselves, the uproar not helping to soothe and reassure. Not helped in any way shape or form, when it was pointed out that the order had a massive image problem with Ferelden at the very least, and with the Empress of Orlais, although as Charter muttered that might not be an issue for very long. Cullen reluctantly offering up the suggestion that perhaps if they were used to dampen the breach so that it may be closed, it would go some way to easing their image, although Solas argued outright that it would be far better to just funnel power into the couple instead. To his credit, Cullen hadn’t denied it.

Lu had become increasingly concerned at his unnaturally quiet wife, although every time he’d gone to speak to her, he found himself stopping without really knowing why. When they had finally given up for the night, the ongoing battles for the future of the world dying out with the campfires, he was pulled into a tent with for once only his wife, not just because of the fact they were undercover, which was something they preferred not to be much preferring to gaze at the unlit night sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Well like the thing is, well that maybe I forgot to post after I finished it. So that's my excuse. Korrigan is now the same, I have finished part 1, and yet I have hit a mental block when it comes to both. In fairness, Korrigan needs the last 4 chapters editing correctly, but the overall chapters are done. But Vicky n Lu - I have even done the first chapter of Part 2 all done and dusted, and another 5 chapters to rewrite. 
> 
> I won't promise to remember to post as I head into November, but I will put it on my calendar. >.>


	23. Another "Very" Simple Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cole! And the plot finally moves forward. Much waggling of eyebrows, and disregard for any semblance of sense.

Where normally they would be in a puppy pile, with Alistair often snuggling up at Vicky’s back, and Charter within touching distance with Adaar, Cullen and Rylen favouring Lu’s side more as Rylen often remarked how Vicky’s feet felt like ice to offer a restful nights sleep, to which she would only make sure to press them against him further in retaliation. Instead, it was just the two of them, Vicky and Lu, curling up together wrapped away from the rest of the cohort, a cone of silence falling around their tent.

Still, when she did finally speak in the morning, Vicky was subdued, her eyes heavy and red and her skin the same greyish pallor that it had gained before back at the Storm Coast. The space by her side was ever-present, getting so noticeable that by mid-morning there had been several attempts of purgings and dispels from both the former templar members and the mages. It was only when a straggly looking boy appeared, that she shook herself out of the sleep-deprived stupor, to stand between him as a barrier against the swords that were drawn, the bows nocked and the spells readied. 

“Cole is a friend, and we don’t kill friends, or not unless we have a good reason to, like they try and force-feed you cheese, or kidneys, or they do something stupid like eat the last of the chocolate and the shops shut and you don’t even have the hidden emergency stuff that tastes nasty but you were going to use to make cakes with because it’s fine for that.” He peeked at them from over her head, his eyes shaded by the ridiculous hat he had covering his scraggy blonde hair as she babbled sleepily, Lu only looking a tad unimpressed.

“I can make you forget I’m here if it helps?” The hostility didn’t drop amazingly, at his words, and he found himself cocooned in a bubble of blue shielding as newer members started to look trigger happy.

“I think the forgetting is why they are behaving like this, perhaps we should work on you remaining seen for the next while, at least until they grow used to you enough that they won’t kill you whilst my backs turned?” his hand moved to clasp hers, nodding at her even as she had her back to him.

“Cole helped yesterday, he is in fact, the reason why we are still here. So I would like you all to settle the frig down and leave him be, and that includes accidentally hitting him with your weapons of choice,” her tone wavered momentarily, and Cole hugged her with his free arm, dropping his head on her shoulder much in the same way that Alistair had taken to doing when he sought comfort.

“What is he?” She gave Cullen a look, even as Lu tapped him on the back of the head lightly.

“Go straight for the throat there, Curly,” Varric nudged the still on high threat alert former Templar, even as most of the others had disarmed themselves at her request.

“I believe he is a spirit-” Solas started to speak, with Merrill clapping her hands together excitedly, staring at Cole with the same zeal as she did Solas.

“Demon, he is a demon, really darling, we do not consort with demons. If you would like to step away from the demon so we may dispatch him.” Vivienne did well not to flinch at the impressive glares she received for her words, although there was some movement towards unsheathing of weapons at the word demon.

“Justice agrees with the old elf, he is a spirit, “one of the harmless pointless ones” not as you say, Madame, a demon.” Vicky scrubbed at her forehead with her nails, as Anders and Vivienne started to square off, with Solas looking faintly insulted by the description.

“He’s Compassion Anders, and Compassion isn’t pointless Justice,” Lu gave her a look as she ignored the other part of the description, choosing instead to glare at Anders, who in return held up his hands in surrender as his eyes flashed blue.

“Compassion is no Justice.” Hawke rolled his eyes behind his lovers back, letting Merrill intervene before Justice could get into a fight with the small dwarf.

“Compassion is just as needed as Justice, you shouldn’t belittle others for not having the same traits as yourself Justice, it’s not very fair.” the female elven mage, smacking at Anders hands before Hawke stepped up to the mark, standing steadfastly between them to stop the fight before it could properly begin.

“Regardless, Cole is a Spirit of Compassion, and without him, as I said before, we wouldn’t still be here. I’m not sure any of us would be….” Vicky wilting as she turned to look at the Spirit, who pushed her onto Lu’s lap perching next to his side, keeping his hand in hers.

“He was hurting her, so I showed her how to make it stop, but she would have made it stop anyway,” he petted at her hand like a maidenly aunt, as Lu started to card his talons through her hair, making her head flop back against his chest.

“That’s lovely of you to say Cole, but I doubt it, I was most definitely losing, but it is still very lovely of you to say.” 

“You are like the mountains, immovable” she snickered softly at that, as Lu murmured something into her ear, that had the Spirit beaming at him.

“Nice way to say I’m fat, but thank you anyway,” Vicky almost felt sorry for the panicked look he gave her.

“No, the words came out wrong, you are sure, you are resolve, Envy just scraped at you leaving little grazes that sting with lemon juice, they hurt because they are small, a fatal wound would be painless, a gasp as you slip away into the good night, but you don’t slip into the good night, you wake in the day.” he stared at her with wide eyes.

“What did actually happen love?” Lu had started to gently rock her in his arms, his voice comforting in her ear.

“Envy was in my head, playing with my emotions. The things it made appear in front of me…” her voice trailed off, her eyes bleak.

“It showed her of its plans to torment her, it wanted to be her, wanted to take her place and fool you all into following her.” Cole took over as it became clear she wouldn’t continue in her explanation, his hand petting had gone from being ancient maidenly aunt to demented aunt status.

“Did it think we wouldn’t notice?” Cullen exclaimed, with Alistair bristling beside him.

“It wanted to take all of her thoughts so it could be her, but she wouldn’t let it, she has too many thoughts buzzing around, zip zip zip, like flies, buzzing. I wanted to help.”

“You did help Cole, I would have been trapped far longer without you there to help me, I was going round in circles, you were a regular little pied piper.” Her hand turned upside down, capturing his fingers with hers and clasping tightly.

“How long was it for you?” Solas leaned forward, his casual tone at odds with his body language, Charter giving him a look which he waved off.

“How long does a thought last? It felt like an eternity, but time is different inside you. I can daydream and it take a day, or feel like I’ve been waiting for hours and it’s been less than a minute.” She gave him a long look, as he settled back with a wistful expression.

“He taunted her, but he couldn’t keep up, he couldn’t adapt to all that she is. So many thoughts, so many feelings, so much planning. She plans, and her plans have plans, thinking of different problems and then more problems, and then more and more. Gnawing like a dog with a rabbit, eating it all up with solutions. She likes to help, she needs to help,” Cole wriggled like a puppy as Lu gently patted him on the shoulder. “I like her.”

“I like you too Cole, and thank you.” Their hands swung like in an almost childlike fashion, before she addressed them all properly. “Let’s just say that we won’t be letting what Envy had planned, happen. The Breach needs to be closed regardless.” She shifted in Lu’s lap, then stood, brushing down her tunic not quite lifting her head up fully.

“In regards to the Templars, we need to know some things before a decision can be made.” She addressed this at Cullen, who had taken the lead in being semi-responsible for them, “Firstly, how low down in the command structure are the survivors? I want to know who has the highest rank and their current level of experience.” 

“Knight Sergeants, there are three of them but they are all veterans and two of them were on their way to retirement.” She groaned at the news, her shoulders sinking as she turned round to face Lu who pulled a minute face.

“We can’t just disband them, regardless of what everyone's feelings are towards them. They were nowhere near high enough to have any real responsibility for the actions of their seniors. If we disband them, then we risk leaving a massive vacuum, and I am guessing if this was the current seat of the order, disbanding this group then signals the disbandment of the Order as a whole?” She didn’t need to turn round to see the brisk nod, Lu’s face spelling it out to her.

“Brilliant, well I for one, will not let the Inquisition be known as the ones who disbanded an 800-year-old organisation for the reason that a few people didn’t know how to behave.” She gave Lu a can you believe this shit look, as Cole played with her fingers with his, giggling softly as they flexed and pushed.

“Why not take it as an opportunity to clean the house.” Dorien’s dulcet tones were the loudest over the quiet babble of discontent.

“The house was just cleaned, in the most dramatic and tragic way it could have been. Now I’m not saying we put them in a position where they can continue the rampant abuse of their position again. They need to be taught right from wrong, and how to actually look after themselves. At the moment, it would be like leaving a group of school children to try and teach themselves after only being subjected to bullies.” She took a deep breath, petting at Cole’s hand as he moved with her.

“Now, they are in the unenviable position of being not only the perpetrators of the conflict, but also working in conjunction for the most unwittingly, but still, working with the Elder One, or Corypheus as we know him as. We have to take the Templars and make them into something better than what they currently are. The fact that we have two former Templars who have higher ranks here already leads me to believe you could teach them to not only manage themselves, but how to be better.” She turned to pin Cullen and Rylen with a piercing stare.

“We need to be careful though, because if Cailan does ship the mages over to us as Celene seems to think he should, and yes I know it’s not just Celene who believes it Alistair, and then if we take over the Templar training, we will suddenly have actual visible power. Which is where we really didn’t want to be, in fact it’s the exact opposite of where we want to be.” She scrubbed at her forehead again, leaving faint welts as her nails dug in firmly.

“Does the threat of having the Mages really seem that incendiary?” Dorien spoke up again, directing the question at Cullen, who merely grimaced.

“According to Josephine, and Leliana backs her all the way on this, it does pose somewhat of a threat. If it helps, Leliana also considers Corypheus to be somewhat of a threat.” There was a small shifting from Alistair, who opened his mouth three times before speaking.

“Back when we were preparing for Ostagar, and Cailan was adamant not to allow the Wardens to use the treaties to recruit the armies that we, in the end, used anyway to defeat the Archdemon...” He trailed off, looking at Duncan who was occupied with the Templar group up at the keep, his tone faintly scornful at his brother's fine plans, “Duncan claimed that for every mage he had access to, it was like having twenty trained soldiers. You both backed him up at this claim, as did some of the other senior wardens.” There was a brief pause as it sank in.

“Connor, how many mages are there currently under the care of Teagan?” Solas addressed the nervous-looking youngster, who blushed at the sudden attention as everyone turned to look at him, his role as the Mage Liason being used for the first time in a long time.

“In Redcliffe? Maybe two hundred, in the circle at Kinloch another 100, and there are other smaller circles still housing mages being protected by the King’s soldiers. In Ferelden alone, after the influx of refugee mages, I believe Fiona estimates there are about 600, although the number fluctuates with not everyone finding the accommodations to be what they believed it would be, and then you have the radicals who prefer to go off and fight the Templars, although…” He glanced up at the keep, the rest of the sentence going unspoken.

“So Bull, no sharing that with the Qun, and no one shares that with anyone outside of this group.” The number falling heavy on the group, with some blanching of skin from those who had believed the number to be far less, far far less.

“Solas, realistically how many would we be able to fit into Skyhold?” Vicky didn’t wait for him to answer before asking a follow-up question. “How many Templars are there?”

“Surviving here, maybe 50 at best.” Bull, who had led the clean up with the Chargers had a better idea of the number than Cullen, who had been stuck dealing with the logistics of trying to balance the Nobles and no command structure for the remaining Templars.

“It will take time to be able to house all 600 Mages,” Solas looked dubiously at the idea.

“Cullen, how many do you think we could take that would ease the threat level?” Vicky pinned the increasingly helpless looking man, at the look as he started to flick through Charter’s prepared notes.

“Let’s assume if we remove the Redcliffe and the Kinloch mages, that would help, if the rest are spread out, and if we could possibly convince some more to return to the Free Marches with the Templar threat over, and only leave some Mages who don’t wish to leave their homes…?” Cullen offered up, not sounding in the slightest bit convinced.

“Solas, could we house 300 faster?” Her question was greeted with a nod, as Charter began to scribe down next to Cullen, the beginnings of a plan.

“Considerably, it will still take time, but there is enough space to house that number with space for others too. I would suppose that for the approximate 600, it would leave little room for anyone else currently. But of course that would depend on the actual state of the Keep, and how quickly you are planning to move on the issue.” Vicky grimaced, as he gave her a mock apologetic look, “And by you, I mean the Inquisition of course.”

“Of course. We need to get it sorted straight away, between the Mages, the Templars we will be taking and no doubt absorbing, the soldiers already under Inquisition command, and all of the support staff, we have more than that already.” She was pushed back into Lu’s lap as she started to pace, bouncing as her brain started to whir.

“Have they found it yet?” Lu addressed Charter, who had the messages that had been sent overnight, who nodded, passing the relevant missive round to Cullen who read it before passing it on.

“They have, it’s in a state which we expected thanks to both Solas “fade vision” and our Avvar guides. It took them some time to access, and there have been sightings of Avvar in the area, although they have kept their distance for the time being.” Cullen said. Amund gave a hearty grin at that, with Puppy ducking his head as Adaar nudged him.

“They will be making sure that the gods are not upset by this,” Amund declared, Puppy grunted his agreement, before whispering into Adaar’s ear something else that caused her to flush.

“Would the Mages be able to lend aid in the cleanup?” Lu turned the question to the Mages who offered lots of different answers.

“Yes, basically, even if it is beneath some of them.” There was a wry aside from Hawke who had waited long enough for the rest of them to add their own opinions in, with Dorien looking faintly smug.

“If Alistair and Lu went to Redcliffe, do you think that would be enough to be able to escort them to Skyhold if we sent the Chargers directly from Haven with some more support staff with food and materials?” Vicky turned to both Charter and Cullen, neither of them looking comfortable with the suggestion.

“I have no problem going to Redcliffe dear, but asking them to inform you of what’s needed at a place neither of them have been to, and Charter has only just had word through now about, and from reading it, not even a comprehensive description, is quite unkind.” Lu chided, Vicky had the grace to apologise.

“If some of us head straight back to Haven with the Templars, after they are ready to leave that is, maybe leave us Anders?” Who scowled at this, before being swatted around the head by Hawke. “If you take the Mages, and maybe the Kirkwallers with you, or maybe even the Grey Wardens,” she started to bob in his lap, before being clamped into position by Lu's arms. “Sorry, Bull, the Chargers, Adaar, Rylen, Cullen, Sera, Puppy and Cole stay here with me, and everyone else goes with Lu to collect and escort the Mages?”

“Not Anders?” Charter asked merrily, as the mage scowled at her, ducking as he was thwacked again by his lover.

“I’ll stay, otherwise you won’t have a healer, and between the rest of them, they can heal.” Anders managed to sound as begrudging as possible.

“You have to promise not to be mean to Cole though Justice, otherwise I’ll have to punch you.” The small dwarf and a blue-eyed Anders had a stare-off, before the possessed Mage reluctantly agreed.

“When we get back to Haven, we’ll get kitted out with all the things that you lot need and join you at Skyhold. You’ll have Amund to guide you, and Solas, although it will be Fade directions so who knows how accurate his directions will be…” Vicky muttered the last bit, Sera’s snickering at Solas’ expression at his abilities being doubted.

“We will have Puppy if no else is at Haven to guide us to you.” Puppy grinned at Solas, who merely brushed a spot of dust off his arm, with Lu whispering in his wife’s ear as she grinned unrepentantly at the distinctly not sulking elf.

“Charter, can you let Leliana know the plans, and we’ll send word as we leave here, Adaar knows how to do that right?” Cullen stared at her, with Lu nipping at her ear before murmuring in it.

“Sorry, I meant obviously that Cullen knows how to do it, and will be in charge of doing so, and Adaar can learn from Cullen so that if we are ever in a position where I am without Charter or Cullen, it’ll be fine.” Adaar had a grin as wicked as Puppy’s as Vicky started to backtrack, with Cullen just sighing.

“Alright people, sooner you leave, sooner we all get to meet back up, right?” Vicky was vibrating again, her fingers starting to pick at the skin on her fingers in between attempts from both Lu and Cole to stop her.

“Perhaps not chasing us off right this second, might be better?” Her husband retorted, a definite dryness to his voice.

“What about the breach?” Vicky wrinkled her nose at Solas, who had taken the opportunity to prod at her after her earlier dismissal of his wayfinding abilities.

“I’ll get the Templars to dampen it, to make it easier, realistically I can’t see that there will be any problems, we’ll make sure to do it before setting off for Skyhold, unless of course we hear back with any reasons why we shouldn’t?” She twisted round to look up at Lu, who merely shrugged. 

“Makes sense, although I am wondering if there is any particular reason why I need to go and collect the Mages?” Lu asked. 

“It’s not that you are the only one who can, but after it was only the pair of you who had the conversation with the Empress, it would only be right if you were seen to be following her request. If you aren’t backing Celene, it doesn’t matter, as Gaspard will hear how it was you who removed a large proportion of Cailan’s army.” Charter answered the question for Vicky, with Alistair shifting, opening his mouth again, before Vicky cut him off.

“Alistair, she isn’t saying this is where we steal power from your brother, merely that it could be seen to be that way, which is not necessarily a bad thing. Cailan is more than capable of keeping his borders secure by all accounts,” Cole moved out of the way as she patted the space next to her, beckoning the prince over so that he could settle by her side. 

“If the Empress has mentioned the fact that Cailan is seen to have access to a Mage army, then it is a problem, regardless of everything else happening. After the Blight, Ferelden became seen as a most definitely Mage friendly, and more so after the conflict broke out.” Charter quietly added, over the quiet murmurs of the others.

“Where do you think most of the Mages who escaped the other circles ended up?” This came from Hawke, who smirked at Cullen’s discomfort.

“It’s why the Venatori headed straight for Ferelden, the amount of untapped power here is enough to help destabilise the region if brought under heel. If the King hadn’t sent aid to Redcliffe, we could be looking at a very different situation. Not only would there have been the problem with the Templars, but also a potential slave army for Tevinter, because of course, Tevinter specialises in indentured slavery.” Dorian interjected, Felix, nudging him gently as they exchanged grimaces.

“The Qun would not allow a threat like that to go unchallenged…” Bull added, his words met with more silence as visions of a Qunari invasion on top of everything else, leaving a bad taste to the mouth.

“Let’s not invite trouble, thankfully it didn’t happen like that, and Cailan for once has the good sense to listen to his brother.” Vicky clapped her hands together, with Alistair snickering murmuring his sister-in-laws name, “Anora then, Anora had the good sense, and as such the Venatori didn’t gain access to a sitting Mage force, and they aren’t indentured.”

“No bringing them to Haven either,” There was a brief eye roll from Vicky at this, who stuck her tongue out at Lu as he tapped her on the nose.

“Yes, I know, because bringing them right up to the border is only asking for retaliation. It’s what I keep saying, we are in the business of stabilising, not destabilising. Also, if you take them straight to Skyhold, and you are seen to do so, even if we do disappear after the breach is sealed, it should be enough to show that no nation lays claim to them. It will buy enough time for the Inquisition to get positioned enough that it can help aid both parties into a peaceful position.” Vicky took a breath before stretching her neck, “There are enough of you on both sides that you should be able to look after each other properly, and ensure no one gets screwed over.” She couldn’t help but let her gaze fall on Vivienne, who had the gall to look bored.

“We will let you know when we arrive at Skyhold then, maybe send the Chargers on ahead to make sure there is enough food and blankets?” Lu looked at both Cullen and Bull.

“Surely they already have comforts such as blankets already?” Vivienne looked appalled at the mere idea that they wouldn’t.

“Skyhold is in the middle of the Frostbacks, it’s going to be as cold as a witches tit.” Vivienne continued to look appalled at Vicky’s comment, who had responded with the dryness of a desert.

“Probably should arrange for carts to transport belongings, and people, not all of them will be healthy or old enough to march that distance. Dennet has horses, but not to the number we are talking about, and we certainly won’t be able to feed that amount.” The group quickly devolved into different conversations about logistics, and the dangers of demons, which included multiple veiled references to how spirits were demons in everything but a name.

The married couple took the opportunity to disappear back up to the keep, to reacquaint themselves with each other with a gentleness of touch, belying the worry both were ignoring. They were gone a while, before returning with soft eyes and ready smiles, that masked the feelings of loss that lingered beneath the surface.

Alistair refused to be parted from Vicky’s side for the remainder of the time, with her settling into his lap every time he grew anxious, soft words whispered into his ear, combined with motherly embraces. Their parting in the morning was quiet, as he stole a lock of her hair, whispering in her ear that he promised he wouldn’t be angry this time, before riding after the others, as she waved goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So - Nano happened, also Milly Avoiding a War which span out of control in a great way. But mainly I forgot even though this has been ready to post for weeks if not months *coughs*
> 
> I am tempted to just upload the last few chapters in one go.


	24. Templars Ho!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Templars make their way back to Haven, and you can almost taste the breach closing

It took several days before the Templars were even remotely ready enough to leave Therinfal, with the Nobles mainly having left with the others, with some heading out with the Chargers, and the majority leaving with the main bulk of the Inquisition. 

Anders spent his time almost equally between healing the Templars, and arguing with Cole. Or at least, Justice had spent time arguing with Cole, and by which, he berated the Compassion Spirit as he tried to help in every way he could, every time Anders wasn’t occupied with healing that was. It had gotten to the point where even Bull, who had been distinctly on the Vivienne side of the argument, was trying to keep them separated, if only so their half of the decorated pair wouldn’t have a fit.

Cullen was caught up trying to organise the Templars, before finally cracking, coming clean to the remaining group about his lyrium withdrawal, which then spurred Rylen into admitting the same thing. Adaar promptly took over the responsibility for the lyrium rationing, which left certain members uncomfortable, her perceived powerbase growing, even as both Vicky and Cole waved off the concerns. The upshot of the revelation had a side benefit, Anders almost having kittens, spending his free time buzzing around the two former Templar’s questioning and prodding in regards to symptoms, not in the least bit reassured when the pair claimed to not be experiencing any.

There had been a suggestion it would be a puzzle for a later time, one where they weren’t looking down the sight of a bow at the target, but Cole whispered something into Vicky’s ear, who in return had written it down and passed it over to Adaar, to be read in the event of the married couple not being there, post-breach closing. Neither of them looking overly concerned at the shifty look that Bull gave them.

Barris became the runner between the Templars and the remaining Inquisition, acting as a secretary for the most part. He had been horrified at the true state of the Order, choosing to deal with it by ploughing into as much work as possible, with Cullen and Rylen taking him to spar with at the end of the day to wear him out enough that he was able to sleep without the sounds of the red beasts echoing in his dreams.

It only foretold what the journey back to Haven would be like, one filled with delays as the PTSD kicked in almost immediately, the lack of sleep, wounds and general ill health not supplying any of the Templars with the healthiest of starts. They ploughed on, however, stopping every time Cole made it known there were issues within the troops. Morale was kept as high as it could be, with lots of music and singing, but it was like plugging a dam with a finger.

They weren’t greeted with the same warmth as they had been on the way out, with some of the Templars choosing to shed their armour, as faces turned away at the sight of it. But they persevered and were rewarded for their efforts with as much integration as the Inquisition could offer. 

Lu’s group had made a much faster time to Redcliffe being that they had access to transportation for all rather than Vicky’s group. Kinloch having organised themselves to meet up at Redcliffe with their belongings aided by the King’s Soldiers. They had discussed and agreed as to who owned all of the books and the equipment from the circles, after it fell to Cailan to step in and proclaim that as the Chantry had abandoned the Circles in Ferelden years earlier, and had chosen not to take anything with them... and as the Templars had also declared themselves no longer part of the Chantry, before also leaving the Circles. That all such equipment belonged solely to the Mages, and would be up to them as to what would happen with it. 

By proclaimed, he sent a bird through to Alistair with a brief message telling him that if the Chantry wanted to make a deal of it, they could blasted well respond to his request as to officiating over the upcoming birth of his heir, instead of claiming that Ferelden was no longer a Chantry nation. In his opinion, if the Mages wanted to take the circles apart stone by stone and take them with them, they could, and sod Val Royeaux, he’d rather have the provincial Chantry officiate than donate money to the spiteful hags. The rest of the message had been full of cursing about interfering crones, and Alistair had tucked it out of sight to share with Lu when they weren’t surrounded by impressionable minds.

However, it meant that Kinloch’s libraries and labs had been packed away, and were in heavily defended carts that were already on their way to Skyhold. The heavily censored proclamation had raised morale within the Mage camp, who had taken a hit on learning that their previous prison guards would eventually be joining them in their new home, even as they had been promised and reassured by the Crown, the Inquisition and most importantly by Lu, that they would not be put into a situation as they had before, ever again. The King had provided them with an open-ended invitation to return as they wished, which had not been received well diplomatically speaking, with even Alistair acknowledging that it wasn’t the wisest thing. But it had been very well received by the general populace.

As such the Mage contingent were already on route to Skyhold. The Chargers had already made it back to Haven, and were also on route with almost all of the support staff who had chosen to leave the village, the atmosphere not having improved even with the promise of the Inquisition finally leaving.

Leliana had already departed with the scouts after the first group had sent word back as to the state of the fort, and only an official proclamation from the King diverting a threatened outcry, as to the amount of resources that were being shipped from Haven to the Inquisitions new base. Adaar had passed the message over to Vicky, muttering about how considering the Chantry never left the village walls, they were awfully concerned about the materials that renewed leaving their supposed territory. The two women had rolled their eyes, before painting on placid smiles to not alarm the still wary Templars.

Josephine and Cassandra were to remain at Haven until the Templar contingent arrived, and would head off to Skyhold as soon as the Breach was closed, with them already prepared for the event. Cullen had received word officially that Haven had returned to a much smaller settlement, population-wise, with many of those who had gathered for the Inquisition choosing to either go to Skyhold to continue on there, or to return to their homes throughout Ferelden, the Chantry not converting many over into remaining after the months of propaganda and attacks.

It didn’t mean that the eventual return went unnoticed, there were still enough people to welcome them back, with Josephine having organised that the deserted cabins to be kitted out to house the Templars, to allow them some privacy to face their fears. It was around the cabin area that the exodus had been most noticeable, with only a few remaining, and those were packed and ready to leave with the Diplomat.

The atmosphere was subdued, the toll of dragging the wounded Templars having weighed heavy on the group. The first night spent quietly, Cole wrapped around Vicky like a blanket, with it being unclear as to whom was clinging to who. Puppy and Adaar were nestled around the pair of them, radiating comforting heat, with Cullen and Rylen huddled together, Anders having sought out warmth with Bull, who had chosen to mess with him as a distraction technique to arrest any arguments between Justice and Cole as tempers had grown fractious.

Sera had chosen to head up into the village, finding herself in the Tavern, opting to spend a night away from both the Mage and Cole, claiming that the latter was creepy, and the former was worse. Bull had pulled her to the side after Adaar had tried and failed to explain to the rogue why constantly attacking the spirit and half spirit wasn’t the brightest idea if she wanted to integrate within the Inquisition. He wasn’t convinced he’d gotten any further than Adaar had, but at least hadn’t suffered the same problem of her not listening because she was busy staring at his chest. He had, however, been drawn into a long conversation about the merits of the Qun, mainly the Tamarassans, if she felt that strongly about Adaar’s assets, he was still waiting for payback when that got back through to the woman later.

The first morning back had spurred a conversation as to the general fitness of the Templars, and how long it would take for them to be ready enough to head up to the breach without doing any more damage. Cue mutterings about physical or mental, before Anders spent a while arguing with Cullen about how stable they actually were, before coming to a mutual decision that it would be better to allow them a couple of weeks to build up enough strength and lyrium reserves to do so. 

Cole was the fastest at reacting, as Vicky stood up to go and attempt a solo closing, claiming that she probably could do it alone. It took a fairly short circular argument from Bull and Adaar, until she admitted she had no idea if she actually could, but it was worth a try. As everyone else voted that no it wasn’t worth a try, and that waiting another couple of weeks meant nothing in the grand scheme of things, she promised not to head up alone as soon as they turned their backs. Adaar had insisted on that promise, the faint line on her neck still shimmering in certain light, months after her “slip”.

The upshot though, was that they had time to kill, no one really wanting to stay in the quiet outskirts of Haven for the remaining time, when they could feasibly visit the fabled Skyhold. Even Josephine hadn’t complained after Vicky had batted her lashes, pulling a sorrowful face at the idea of potentially never getting to see the Inquisitions new home. Also, Vicky had admitted to feeling slightly guilty at the amount of letters Alistair had sent her in the short space they had been parted, having been unable to respond to all of them, though she had made a good attempt to leave him some words from her to keep.

The journey to Skyhold was much quicker than they had feared it would be, having adapted to the constant interruptions and overall pace of a wounded army. They had been tasked with taking more seeds, trusting in Vicky’s ability to help with the growth as she had in Haven. Josephine had confessed quietly to her, as the pair of them had showered before leaving, that it had been a small cause for concern, the Inquisition had grown used to having access to seemingly unlimited resources, the idea of having to ration for the expatriated Mages who had been promised a better life, not one that anyone was looking forward to. 

Even with the decorated pair’s absence, the resources had continued to repopulate, which had made the Chantry’s objections to the removal of materials for rebuilding somewhat objectionable, although the Diplomat had made polite noises as to how it was understandable that they would be concerned. Still, she did hope that the effect would encompass Skyhold, after the pair visited, so that they may be able to keep the place stocked to an acceptable level for the amount of people already living there. Especially once they officially renounced all claim to Haven.

When they did arrive at Skyhold, it wasn’t as decrepit as originally described, with Cullen pointing out helpfully that they had people based here for over a month, and the Mages had a weeks head start on them, using their magic to ease the work of the support staff as much as they were able to, as had originally been suggested. 

The cheers echoed around the valley as they were spotted, with Alistair pushing Lu out of the way to get to his adopted mother first, as she stood the wrong side of the bridge, having a mini argument with both Cole and Cullen. He had no compunctions in racing across the bridge like a loon, swinging her up into a crushing hug, before being pulled away by Adaar, with Lu laughing at his expression, as he took in the pale-faced one of his wife.

“Does Lu need to come and get you, or will you go to him?” Cullen was looking relatively frustrated, as she kept backing away as they went to take a step forward towards the welcoming cheers.

“I’m going to stay this side, I’ll be fine, no reason for me to go across, I can see it all from here, and Lu can come to me, because nope, not doing it.” Vicky slapped Cole’s hands away as he went to cover her eyes.

“They’ve taken cartloads of stone over and the bridge is fine, Felix is across on the other side, he made it across.” Adaar left them to it, nudging Lu to traverse to his wife as she pulled Alistair back as Cullen continued to try to convince her.

“Which would have damaged the bridge and made it weaker, so no, who knows, all it might take is me stepping on it for it to crumble away, and then I’ll fall, and” 

“So you will happily press your neck against a sharp blade, where you could have been decapitated, but you won’t cross a sturdy bridge that has been here for centuries? Because it might possibly crumble underneath your weight, that doesn’t weigh as much as a horse, and there are many horses crossing over now, and it’s not crumbling?” Cullen spoke slowly, pointing at the procession crossing, as Lu weaved his way over.

“See, it’s an old bridge, it’s due to crumble at any moment now.” She was standing resolute against his reasoning.

“Hey love, what’s the hold-up?” Cullen taking the opportunity to disappear off, with Cole hovering between following and staying with the grey cast female.

“They want me to risk my life by crossing that bridge, which I bet hasn’t been checked for problems, I want it checked by a trained structural engineer.” He gave her a look, “With actual qualifications from a verified university or higher educational learning place, with measurements, that I can see and a detailed explanation.” 

“How about, instead of asking for impossible things, we just go the long way round and you don’t spend the remainder of your time making people travel in and out to see you?” Cole gave him a wondering look, before clapping his hands together happily.

“The other way, with the cart and the blankets and the horses!” What happened next was three people all knowing what was happening, and all choosing to believe the same lie. Lu hopped up into a cart that had been pushed across the bridge and hooked up to a carthorse, before tucking Vicky under a blanket and chatting happily to her about the lake, as not more than a minute later the cart came to a stop, and she was lifted out, only to be picked back up by Alistair who was being growled at not to face her towards the bridge again by Adaar.

“There are no gaps beneath us, it’s solid all the way down,” Cole kissed her cheek, as Lu stole her from Alistair's mitts again, hoiking her into his arms, before depositing her on stairs so that they were the same height sitting down, her legs wrapping around his chest as best they could.

“I missed you.” Lu gave her nose a soft kiss, as she batted at his nose lightly, pressing a kiss upon his brow as best as she could.

“I always miss you, always.” Their foreheads met, the emotional angst flowing away from her as she was tipped into a long, slow kiss. 

Alistair left them along, precisely long enough that they were a boneless mess, and were looking very much like they were about to disappear off to reacquaint themselves. Alistair choosing that moment to pull Vicky away to explore the keep, with her half laughing half whining at his antics, as Lu settled back on the stairs to watch with frustrated amusement.

“So, how was it?” Adaar thumped down next to him, Cullen closely following, as Lu asked them both.

“So so, the Templars are going to need a lot of work to get back straight, lots of issues, lots of issues… Best keep them separated from the Mages for a good while yet, don’t you think Cullen?” Adaar said, Cullen reluctantly nodded.

“Speaking from experience, they won’t be left unattended. Even if we have to use the soldiers as a buffer.” Lu ruffled his hair, as Cullen was rubbing at the back of his neck looking highly uncomfortable.

“Our trip was a dream in comparison, a much easier assignment. Everyone was ready to go, and between the Chargers bringing food, and the state of preparedness thanks to the Crown at Redcliffe, the Mages were in high spirits and good health. Teagan has sent word that the villagers in Redcliffe have requested that if possible, they would like some Mages to return as they were valuable members of the village society, and their absence has been greatly missed.

“Fiona, has sent word to some of the smaller circles, and the Crown has promised to make sure all Mages will be protected to the fullest extent against persecution,” Hawke added, grinning from behind Lu at Anders who looked put out by the report.

“Trust you to get the easy part, you didn’t have to deal with itchy feelings all the while, and an angry Justice who couldn’t leave Compassion alone for more than a moment. All I heard from him, “Compassion is weak, Compassion is interfering with the Inquisition, Compassion is a demon and needs to be returned to the fade” it was beyond tiring.” Anders growled.

“Justice thinks that Cole is a demon?” Lu leant forward to pin Anders with a look.

“Justice thinks that Compassion is replacing him, it’s more like he’s jealous at this point,” Adaar spoke for Anders who just looked put out. “He hasn’t exactly said anything that doesn’t make it sound like a jealousy issue, has he. And he hasn’t shut up about Cole the entire trip back.” Cullen gave her a wry grin. “Although, Bull does seem to have a handle on him…”

“Bull does?” Hawke gave his lover a knowing look, with Anders suddenly grinning.

“Before you go into raptures about how great the sex was, perhaps we can focus?” Hawke batted his lashes at the straightfaced Lu.

“Alright, anyway Anders, just think how valued you feel for having put up with all the nasty itchy Templars, they’ll give you a medal,” Adaar spoke before the Kirkwall couple could divert the conversation back to Bull’s attributes, still not overly keen on hearing all about them even after spending more time with him.

“I bet it went down well, anyway with Josephine, the Crown promising to stop persecution.” Cullen shrugged at Hawke, who took the opportunity to instead bait the former Templar.

“As we keep pointing out, we the Inquisition, aren’t actually Ferelden. What the Crown does technically doesn’t have anything to do with the Inquisition. Josephine expressed the urge to depart from Haven sooner rather than later, but believes that Anora will do much to quell any behaviour that will stir the pot too much. She now has her future children to consider, in regards to balancing out Cailan’s thumbing at Gaspard.” A companionable silence fell, Hawke, pulling Anders off to where they were staying to discuss the Bull in greater detail, with Cullen disappearing off to find Leliana, leaving the two Qunari together.

“Are you worried?” Adaar’s words could barely be heard over the gentle babble of the hold.

“Of what in particular should I be worried about?” Lu turned to gaze at the milling people.

“About what happens after the breach.” Adaar said.

“Worried isn’t the word I would use, I trust in the people around us to keep on moving forward and to stop whatever plans that Corypheus has. So much has been achieved so far, it’s not unbelievable that more will happen.” He offered her a smile, that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“It feels like the calm before the storm.” 

A pause.

“Perhaps, though regardless of what happens, you should be safe here. You have no less than 300 Mages and what was it that Alistair claimed, one mage equals 20 trained soldiers?” 

“You can feel it too,” She trained her eyes on him as his head dipped almost imperceptibly.

“She won’t let you fail, even if she isn’t here, she’s setting you up to succeed.” Cole appeared by their sides, making Adaar sigh, even as Lu patted him gently on the shoulder.

“You know he’s right, regardless of it he’s seen it in her head what those plans entail. Regardless of everything else, the Free Marches and Ferelden can be relied on as safe havens, even if you need to gently prod some of the Free Marches into offering it up.” 

“Have we heard any more in regards to Nevarra and Antiva?”Adaar asked, Lu shrugged at her.

“General consensus is that the Breach needs to be closed first, with the artifacts that strengthen the veil that we discovered and activated with Solas, it should be enough to keep more rifts from forming. Who knows what will happen in the future, however, with the amount of minds working on the rift problem, I wouldn’t rule out the possibility of them being able to solve closing them without the aid of the marks.” Lu replied.

“Perhaps when I seal the breach, if I pour enough energy in it will heal the others,” Cole spoke up, his words were met with a smile from Adaar, and a back rub from Lu.

The next few days were spent exploring and planning, after Vicky had been dragged around by an excitable Alistair all of Skyhold, having been shown every resource within striking distance much to Vicky’s amusement and Leliana’s insistence.

There had been some concern as to how long their influence would last after they had gone, but their presence had done much to perpetuate a sense of safety and security, that mingled with the ancient magics that drenched every piece of the place, offering much to allay the fears from those who would definitely be remaining. Even if Vicky was insistent she didn’t trust in the stability of the bridge, that everyone else felt was built to outlast them all.

As the week drew to a close, they started to consider who would actually be returning with her to Haven. Cullen had left Rylen to help Cassandra deal with the Templars, and felt the need to return to alleviate his burden, even if it was being shared with Cassandra. Lu had offered to return with them, and lend his mark, but had been gently dissuaded of this as he would be the fastest indication of their survival post-breach. And that phrasing had plummeted the mood, with Alistair refusing to leave their shadows from then on.

Alistair requested, quite politely, to be allowed to travel back with them, claiming his right as a Prince to ensure the threat was closed. It was by all accounts a good excuse, but it was clear he hadn’t wanted to part again so soon from Vicky’s side. Puppy outright refused, with Adaar claiming she would need to be there for him, which was mostly true, he had eased up a lot in the more recent weeks. It was Adaar and for a lesser extent Charter who had a calming effect on the giant man, almost more so than Vicky at this point.

Bull and the Chargers would head back with them to help pack up the last of the Inquisitions belongings, not that anyone thought there would be any upset from the Chantry. Though having a fully armed merc group that was under the control of the pair more so than the Inquisition gave them options should anything happen. They would also be able to make sure the Templars made it back to Skyhold without incident, the well-trained Chargers more than a match for the diminished Templars. 

Solas had requested to oversee the closing of the breach, as had Varric, both claiming that as they had been there in the beginning, it was only right that they should be there in the end, with Charter muttering about lack of inspiration for his latest novel, that had Adaar snickering much to the writers put upon outrage.

Vicky at this point had removed the option for anyone else volunteering themselves, claiming that if they carried on she would be taking almost a hundred people for a job that only needed a few, not counting the Chargers of course.

The cooks had laid out a fine and hearty feast on the last day that they were all destined to be together, with barrels of ale opened in a massive celebration, with Leliana threatening them all at the opening toast to not let Josephine know about any of it. Varric was then threatened not to tell Cassandra as well, after he got a shifty gleam in his eye.

Bittersweet would be how Cole described it, with no one claiming to be the originator of the word. But it was hard to disagree with, with much hugging and soft words that skirted around goodbye, with loud affirmations of success as they all avoided the elephant in the room as much as they could.

At the request of a speech, Lu had talked at length about rights and responsibilities, and when it was handed over to Vicky, she, however, asked them a question.

“So who here would like a fertility rite?” With a wicked grin pasted over her face the question was met with bellowing cheers. So she did, waving her hands around all mysteriously, or as Lu claimed, without any grace, and then proceeded to give them a five-minute lecture on safe sex, and making sure that you gave as well as received pleasure. There were many hands over ears for the youngsters mingled in the crowds, with a fair few bright red faces and lewd comments from those older and lustier.

Cullen followed it up with a heartfelt plea not to all go at it like nugs without considering the consequences, with Fiona reiterating with visual aids of what STD’s did to genitalia, and describing in detail how painful and long childbirth actually was.

The returning party slipped out predawn, with only Lu waving them off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pysch it didn't close. Although Vicky was prepared to give it a good try.
> 
> So... yes. A request came in to just post the ending. So .... it'll be finished today! amg I know right.


	25. Breach Smeach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vicky and Corypheus sitting in a tree, well not quite k i s s i n g. I would say spoilers please, but the female hero of the piece gets to do her thing.

The Chargers made quick work of clearing up Haven, loading up the carts with the rest of Josephine’s office. They left her only a clipboard and a small piles of papers to continue working on whilst a small group headed up to the Breach, as they all pretended that she would be able to do so whilst they were away at the Temple.

Cullen and Rylen had hugged the small dwarf hard enough for her to make her squeak. Bull had blinked slowly as he was want to do before disappearing off to hurry up the few Templars still not well enough to travel up to the Breach, into packing up their barracks. Adaar and Puppy had refused outright to abandon her side, Alistair would not listen as Vicky tried to explain how much harder he would find it if he was there to watch her disappear. They had almost come to biting words before Cole appeared and had added his words into swaying her over to Alistair’s side. Cole then endured a lecture about not listening to her back at Skyhold as he stared at her with huge limpid eyes until she sighed.

Cassandra led the Templars, leaving the others to make a quiet trip up travelling just behind them making sure that there were no stragglers from the still wounded Templars, and if there were tears trickling down cheeks silently, well they went unmentioned.

Vicky hadn’t been back to the top since the first time, not that it had changed a jot. The Red Lyrium had been destroyed, but the place was still eerie and the stench of death still filled the air. She still accepted hugs and kisses from most of them, before stepping into place and raising her hand, for once putting effort in, her eyes closing as she waited. Cassandra calling out to ready, and then Solas calling for the Templars to focus on damping the veil, as she took a final deep breath.

Her arm strained as she reached as far as she could and focussed, pushing everything she had into closing the damn thing that twisted like a mad thing beneath her grasp. It closed far easier than they had planned for, and she was still there, she hadn’t even passed out. Lots of hugs and cheers, being carried back down to Haven where they were greeted with more cheers and congratulations as she kept a bland expression.

“Something is wrong,” there were no prizes for guessing who Cole was verbalising for, Vicky had managed at best weak smiles, even as she was embraced.

“Why, why does something need to be wrong?” There was a sigh from Alistair who slumped into the tavern chair, as they had finally been welcomed in with open arms.

“Because she is still here, and the dream ends at the end of the quest.” He half glared at Cole, who was hovering next to the small dwarf, who was chewing on her fingertips.

“He’s not wrong, stop glaring at him.” A heartbeats worth of silence falling after she spoke.

“Do you believe that they can travel today after closing the breach?” No doubts as to who they were, the concern was real as Cassandra followed the gut feeling from the distinct lack of cheer that was quickly spreading through the small gathering.

“It could just be that the main quest is actually killing Corypheus?” Alistair directed the question to Solas who frowned, even as he followed up that he didn’t think that Solas had started this all off, but he was one of their wiser members after all.

“The Templars should be ready to travel by the morning, I fear perhaps it would be advisable to travel today, however, given the… what Amund would call, warnings.”

“Calm before the storm,” Adaar darkened as she spoke, “That was meant to be unspoken sorry.”

“Send word through to Skyhold, we’ll set out first light, if anyone wants to head out today though, you are more than welcome to, and no one will blame you, in fact I would feel better if we all could.” Vicky rubbed at her arms, suddenly feeling a chill, even as the fire raged happily in front of her.

“Krem wanted to try the trebuchets, he has some knitted nugs he wants to see fly, see how far they will travel.” This brought about some grins as the tension dispelled temporarily, as Bull successfully diverted the conversation into something more pleasurable, as it was decided that as a distraction technique it would be a wonderful one. 

With three groups splitting up with different items to be loaded up and judged on distance and impact. It did much to chase away the overwhelming sense of danger that had filled the place, with even Josephine joining in, setting off a barrel careening into the mountain across the lake that almost triggered an avalanche, and definitely triggered Cullen.

Cullen then started to calibrate, messing around with Bull and Alistair at adjusting and tweaking, having to “test” each change much to the amusement of the others as the three of them got highly technical and grabby every time someone else tried to play with the siege machines.

The very few Inquisition staff who would be remaining until the authority from the Crown came through as to whom would be taking over guardianship of the site and village, offered to keep watch, as everyone who was to leave the following day turned in early for the night. The tents having been stored away, with more than enough space in the wooden buildings for all the remaining forces, the showers being heavily abused for the last time, with the greenhouses ransacked for fresh fruit to be stored away as travel snacks for the journey back.

When the alarm was raised it came as little surprise, so little surprise that almost no one at the cabin was actually asleep, they were accosted by one of the scouts who hurried through with an older mage who was dripping with sweat.

“I’m here to warn you, massive forces are coming up behind me, the Elder One has come with the Venatori and Red Templars. With him is a General named Samson and leading the Venatoris is Calpernia. I risked everything to warn you, to warn Felix-” he spoke rapidly, addressing Cullen who had stepped in front of the small dwarf.

“You know Felix?” Cullen asked.

“He’s my son, when I heard he was still alive after the failed invasion, I had to escape and warn him.” 

“Cullen, what do we do?” Vicky spoke up, ignoring Felix’s father for the moment, as the Commander grew in presence.

“Even if we had everyone here, we wouldn’t be able to defend the village against an army. We evacuate, do as much as we can and hope to the maker it’s enough.” 

“Boss, I feel flingy” Bull drawled, a dangerous grin passed through the ranks as they started to rush to the field, with Josephine being escorted back to the Chantry along with Adaar, The Chargers scattering to take-up point, spreading evenly between the three trebuchets. The Templars were pushed back into the village, being instructed only to deal with any breaches of the ranks. The Soldiers still at Haven, ready and on point as the trebuchets were set off in quick succession, the first round falling just short of the mountain range that Josephine had slammed into earlier, but still managing to do reasonable damage to the large forward charge from their attackers.

The second round was set up, around the breaching forces, these, however, did as they were required, triggering massive avalanches that swallowed the swarming army that breached the valley, with exultant cries as the overly prepared defenders mopped up the few stragglers that had managed to avoid being swept up by the thick white snow.

The positivity lasted long enough for the trebuchets to be reloaded, before a screech echoed ominously throughout the valley, quickly followed by huge balls of fire that stuttered on an invisible shell above most of the surroundings. 

“Retreat! Fall back” Cullen screamed out as the balls continued to hit, with the barrier starting to flicker under the attack.

They managed to get to the chantry just as the barrier fell, smacking into the wooden buildings within the wooden walls, the flames already flickering and spreading through to other buildings like wildfire, the air now thick with black smoke.

Cole was staring at the small female who had a resigned look upon her face as she kept her back to the rest of the chantry, her hand resting on the thick door that hid the devastation.

“Cullen, we are sitting ducks, there is no way we can fight like this, if it was by itself, perhaps, if we could get it to land, but there are still an unknown number of enemy fighters out there, and we can’t just stay here.” Vicky said quietly.

“We can choose the manner in which we go out…” Cullen’s tone was defeated, flinching as she span, smacking him firmly in the chest.

“I don’t plan on letting you lot die you idiot.” Vicky snarled.

“If we turned the closest trebuchet round, we could bury the village…” Cullen continued to speak.

“I thought she just said we weren’t going to die,” Varric glared at Cullen who just looked pained at the thought.

“No, there is an exit, one that we found when we were christening all of the dungeons before we were banned.” Vicky stared at Cole who nodded slowly, “Cole can take you through the exit, to safety.”

“You can take us through,” Alistair tugged her round to face him.

“Someone has to stay and set it off Alistair,” She reached up and brushed his cheek gently. “I am sorry though.”

“Let the soldiers do it.” She gave him a faintly disappointed look which he refused to feel guilty for.

“It’s her he wants, it’s why he’s here, I don’t like him.” Cole started with a faint whine in his voice, as she snickered softly, Alistair glaring at the spirit boy.

“I’m not letting you do this.” Alistair said firmly.

“Alistair, we all know we’ve been operating on borrowed time, you should know by now that the last thing I am going to do is let you sacrifice yourselves or others for stupid reasons. Now, Cullen, you need to lead them out through the tunnels, Puppy you need to go with Adaar, and make sure you are good for her.” She gave him a kiss on his cheek, and a swift hug to Adaar, her hand lightly stroking Cullen’s arm as he stared at her.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, it has been an absolute honour.” Vicky said with a neat little bow.

“Boss, you need to take some of us to get there, even if we leave once you are in place,” Bull spoke up, with Varric and Solas stepping forward.

“Cullen, send up a signal when you are far enough away, everyone bar these three, you need to leave now.” She pressed a kiss upon Alistair’s cheek, before signalling to Bull who coldcocked him and let Rylen and Cullen pull him away.

“Maybe, maybe you’ll find a way?” Cullen’s words were met with a gentle smile, as the two groups separated.

The village outside the Chantry was pitted with the burning remnants of the buildings and littered with Red Templars and Venatori forces, the four of them making sure to make as much noise and chaos as possible drawing the forces away from the Chantry building whilst barrelling through the resistance. 

The trebuchet proved difficult to move, with Bull straining as the other three picked off the enemies as soon as they came into view. It was with a grating noise that it clunked into position, with the three who had promised to leave her behind, making a move to fulfil their promise just as the Dragon circled back around, spitting a wall of flame cutting them off from her. There was a brief moment as Solas gave her a small bow, Bull nodded and Varric gave her a small smile before the three of them pelted off up the mountainside as agreed.

She took a moment to brush off her tunic, as Corypheus stalked through the flames, only to be met by a defiant grin, her foot propped up against the large siege weapon, and her hand flinging her favourite crystal up in the air casually. His Dragon moving to cut off her route back to the village as if he was afraid she would make a run for it.

“I bet you practised that in front of the troops, badass entrances. Did you have to get special fire-resistant robes?” Vicky asked.

“Enough! Pretender you toy -” 

“Oh you don’t like being mocked, I will make a note of that, for the next time” she started patting her tunic down as if searching for something, “Sorry, no pen, I’ll make a special note to try and remember.”

“PRETENDER, - you toy with forces beyond your ken,” 

“Not my barbie?”

“No more” he continued on his voice getting louder as she interrupted him again.

“You do realise that I’m not impressed in the slightest by this, like not at all, I mean it’s a bit cliche when you think about it, I mean this whole scene is dripping with cliches.”

“Words mortals often hurl at the darkness -”

“Seriously? Mortals often use the word cliche twice in a sentence with you? What mortals have you been hanging around because I swear to all the so-called gods, that this is the first time I’ve heard it used in almost a year, and I was the one using it, just.”

“Once they were mine-”

“You did not use cliche, there is no way on all that you hold holy, you have ever used the word cliche.”

“They were always lies” he carried on only breaking as she carried on talking regardless of him.

“The whole point of a cliche is that it’s based on stereotypes, so that there is always more than a grain of truth even if that grain is no longer relevant, but in this case, you can believe me when I assure you that is not only not a lie, but it is completely and utterly the case.”

“Know me, know what you have pretended to be,”

“Did you write this down before you came here? Because at no point have I ever pretended to be you, nor would I want to be.”

“Exalt the Elder One, the will that is Corypheus. You will kneel”

“Look, we have already agreed that there is no way I’m going to kneel for you, on a scale of one to ten on how impressed and desperate to be you I am, I’m not even in the same world as the scale. So how you think I will happily kneel is beyond me.” She took a breath and then looked disapprovingly at his finger. “Now I don’t want to tell you how to behave yourself, but when you point a finger at someone else, there are three pointing back at you.”

“You will resist, you will always resist -” he paused, but she merely shrugged acknowledging the fact, “It matters not. I am here for the anchor, the process of removing it begins now.” He stepped forward and began to try to channel, her mark sparking as red flowed from an orb in his hands through to the outstretched one pointing at her.

“It is your fault, you interrupted a ritual years in the planning, and instead of dying you stole its purpose.” She grinned harder at him as the mark continued to splutter and spit in the face of the red light.

“I aim to cause havoc wherever I can.” Vicky preened.

“I do not know how you survived, but what marks you as special, what you flail at rifts -”

“I do not flail, thank you very much” 

“I crafted to assault the very heavens, and you used the Anchor to undo my work! The gall!”

“Now don’t lie, we both know you crafted nothing, it’s an Ancient Elven God who couldn’t be bothered to wait long enough to be able to use that pretty bauble,” she smirked harder as he tried to yank the power from her hand, like Lu did when he closed the rift, the power remaining very much as it was.

“I once breached the fade in the name of another, to serve the old gods of the Empire in person, I found only chaos and corruption, dead whispers. For a thousand years I was confused. No More. I have gathered the will to return under no name but my own, to champion withered Tevinter and correct this blighted world”

He had moved closer to her as he tried again to yank the power from her hand, then grabbed her by her arm and let her dangle in front of his face, spittle clinging to his diseased lips.

“This blighted world, that you brought to it.”

“Beg that I succeed, for I have seen the Throne of the Gods and it was empty.” She reached across to the orb with her marked hand and touched it, her mark firing up completely, forcing him to drop her as the magic spiralled out of control.

“The Anchor is permanent, you have spoiled it with your stumbling. So be it, I will begin again, find another way to give this world the Nation and the God it requires. And you, I will not suffer even an unknowing rival. You must die” a flash of a flare went up behind him far up in the hills, and she pulled out her crystal again, flashing him a devilish smirk.

“The classic villain mistake, a clever one would have just killed me at the beginning, but you just had to monologue, had to just share how unbelievably clever and talented you think you are - which let's be honest, it’s stolen power, you met a god, so there are gods still about. Well let's just say a whole heap of other stuff that you might want to see a therapist about, or an executioner. 

“But see my job here, was just to keep you talking, keep you talking long enough, and I’m pretty sure I missed the first two cues from the people relying on me. So this is me, signing out and saying so long and thanks for all the fish...” She flashed him a mock salute before kicking the trigger to the trebuchet, and watching with morbid fascination as the projectile crashed into the range behind them, letting out a wicked cackle as the snow began to pour down.

The look he shot her was enough to warm her soul as she gave him a two-fingered salute before he growled, disappearing with his dragon as she growled back, the wave of snow hitting her just as he flew out of reach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... a sensible person would be like, huh, maybe I should feel an avalanche? But I would point out in a zombie apocalypse I really don't see the point of living as we all know, the bastards will get you in the end.
> 
> Up next is the epilogue.
> 
> Also - I think my favourite line is "Not my barbie?"


	26. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's done. Corypheus defeated, breach sealed. Awesome!

**Skyhold**

****

There had been mass panic in Skyhold as they lost track of where their half of the decorated pair had gone, with no one being able to quite say for how long for either. He had been in the middle of haunting the battlements, as he avoided the crowds of well-wishers after the breach had been closed, as he waited for news to come back from Haven from his wife. He had quietly confessed to Leliana who had watched the skies with him, that it wasn’t necessarily a good thing, if a giant hole in the sky wasn’t the ultimate goal, then it didn’t bode well.

She had left him shortly after, to go over the details again of everything they knew, and the patrols had taken over the watch of the Qunari male, in her absence. They had been the first to notice his disappearance, after they had passed back where he had been sitting, with only the broken mug with spilt ale alerting them to the fact that something had happened, rather than him merely retiring for the evening.

The area was crawled over, as a concerted effort was undertaken to scour the hold, and then the surroundings, with scouts being sent down into the valley in an attempt to rule out a fall, with no one wanting to consider that he may have been pushed. Leliana didn’t share what she knew about them, holding out hope that they would find him alive if concussed.

The search was called off as the first raven arrived from Haven. 

**Haven**

****

They had waited for the support group to reach them, relying on Cole to let them know as soon as they got close. Cullen had been forced to tie Alistair up to stop him haring back down to the village to his certain death, after they had been unsure how many more hits he could take before they risked doing permanent damage.

The first flare went up as soon as they crested the range. There had been an uncomfortable wait as nothing happened, with Cole focussing hard as he tried to get a read on the village. After his reassurance that the mark was still there, they sent up another flare. A third flare unnoticed had left them deflated, and it was only when Adaar had sent up the fourth having stolen it from Cullen, that there was a response.

Solas put the Prince to sleep as soon as the snow began to spill down the range behind them, with Adaar pulling Puppy forward with a blank expression on her face. They made a silent group trudging forward, the skies themselves reflecting the mood as heavy winds whipped up the snow, half blinding them, making progress slow and arduous.

After the first hour in complete silence, Cole started to hum softly, hushing every time he was nudged, but picking the same tune again shortly after. By the third hour, that had Bull physically restraining Cullen from attacking the spirit, and Solas trying desperately to convince Cole to be quiet, Alistair woke up.

_“The battle's done,_  
_And we kinda won._  
_So we sound our victory cheer._  
_Where do we go from here.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had an absolute blast writing this. It started off as a smut scene, and spiralled into a love story to my marriage. I feel like I should apologise if it seems like I have taken massive liberties with the storyline, it was all done with a lot of affection in my heart for the original IP. 
> 
> I do have more, there is a part 2 if people are interested. (oh and a part 4 - don't ask but there is)
> 
> <3 for everyone who read all the way through, and doesn't want to kill me!

**Author's Note:**

> I apologise for nothing. <3


End file.
